Priest Who Might Be Autistic

[TSW]

A new priest in my parish has become increasingly unpopular among people due to his inability to connect with people. For example, he often talks to people without any eye contact. He also avoids eye contact at Mass, even during the homily. He has a tendency to assign himself the weekend Masses with the lowest attendance. He shows much discomfort at all non-liturgical events involving a lot of people. He shows clear signs of nervousness at all meetings and generally avoids them if he can. He may be less nervous when speaking with people one-on-one, but even so, he doesn’t have much eye contact and cannot seem to sit still without constantly checking the time or move his hands. I wonder if this priest is autistic. I mean, if he is, I would cut him some slack on his behavior. Sometimes he just seems downright rude and his mannerism suggests that he does not care about his flock at all. But I think he does, just not in the right way. He seems to enjoy visiting the homebound, bringing communion to them. He also likes to offer private Masses and hears confessions. If he is autistic, I would be more sympathetic and encourage my fellow parishioners not to be too critical.

 

[pensmama87]

There could be other issues at play as well besides autism - he could be incredibly shy or have social anxiety. While he wants to celebrate Mass, it could also be difficult if he has an issue with public speaking.

I am not comfortable with large crowds either and prefer small groups. I would probably not come off as avoidant as the behaviors you describe here, but I’m going to guess that even if he’s not autistic it’s probably not intentional, though it would be advisable to try and learn to correct it.

Sounds like he is definitely in need of prayers.

 

[Antegin]

The diagnosis is irrelevant. Obviously, the priest is having difficulty and needs your love, support and prayers.

If you get a chance, watch Doc Martin on PBS and post on this thread if the character rings a bell with you. I have my suspicions.

 

[agnes_therese]

If he is autistic, I would be more sympathetic and encourage my fellow parishioners not to be too critical.

Even if he is not autistic, there is obviously something that makes him uncomfortable in certain situations. I would suggest you be kind and sympathetic no matter what is causing it.

 

[Evania]

I would be sympathetic even if he wasn’t autistic. I hope that you would still encourage your fellow parishioners to not be critical even if you don’t know what the matter is. He doesn’t need a diagnosis. He needs kindness, love and prayers from his flock.

God Bless!

 

[esieffe]

People with aspergers avoid eye direct eye contact like the plague. They also feel awkward in most “social” situations. If he is on the spectrum, the fact that he can even deliver a Homily is pretty amazing.

If he is on the spectrum, he should be forthcoming with the congregation about it. He can have aspergers and be very intelligent. If he does suffer from this, he must have felt very compelled to become a priest and take a risk like this. If it turns out that this is the case, I myself would be willing to cut him some “slack” in this situation. He is being very brave and is challenging the odds. Somebody believed him enough to put him where he is.

With time, he may grow into the position. I know everyone has their needs, but I would assume a holding pattern until all the facts are in. If he is new, keep in mind that he has a strong desire to serve the Lord. Hopefully it will all work out to every ones satisfaction.

 

[Purgatory_Pete]

If he is autistic, I would be more sympathetic and encourage my fellow parishioners not to be too critical.

This Priest sounds as though he is carrying a heavy yoke in life.
Christ wants you to ease his burden not jump up and down on his cross.
If he does have an aversion to other people, for what ever reason,
then the parishioners all murmuring about him will only add to his struggle.

If he stands before you and the other parishioners one day
and offers you a stone.
will you ,or they, cast it?

:tiphat:

 

[ChurchSoldier]

Everyone is fighting battles we know nothing about. As well, everyone has areas that are strengths and some skillsets that aren’t so strong; even Priests. It could be that God has assigned him to this parish in order to work on certain aspects of himself that could use some building up. You never know, what you may be seeing as pretty significant areas with need for improvement could be the much improved version from where he was a couple of years ago! I am sure he would welcome, and benefit from, your prayers.

Pax

 

[Rosebud77]

The idea that there is some ideal norm for people let alone priests makes me sad. He is himself and clearly has talents and gifts of his own. To see his behaviour pulled apart like this make me very sad indeed… To diagnose him! REALLY!

 

[InThePew]

I think it fairly safe to say that he’s definitely not autistic since someone with autism would (hopefully) not have been accepted into the seminary (let alone been ordained) in the first place.

Perhaps surprisingly, not all priests are extroverted “people persons”. That doesn’t mean that they’re somehow deficient or inadequate, it just means that they’re personality doesn’t naturally lend itself to socialising and so it’s more difficult for them and thus requires a more effort than might otherwise be the case. As others have said, such priests have other gifts and talents which they bring to their priestly ministry.

An example of this is a friend of mine who’s an priest in a smallish parish. He is anything but a natural extrovert and doesn’t find socialising particularly easy (if anything he’s too hard on himself IMHO). Nonetheless, he makes an effort (and I know that for him it definitely is an effort) to do so even though he’s far from comfortable talking in front of large groups. having said that, I’ve been privileged enough to see just how much the people of his parish love him for his gentle warm and humble manner.

 

[Adora]

Regardless of whether he is autistic I think that God would want people to show compassion and patience towards him. If people are giving him odd looks and making comments about his behavior, then this will naturally make him more nervous and will not help him one bit. In fact it may make things worse, to him it may feel like he is being kicked while he is down and understandably so.

It feels like in today’s society there is an “in crowd” that decides what’s “normal” without taking into account that people have different personalities. Not everyone behaves exactly the same way. Not all people will react in the exact same way to any situation. Ask yourself how you would feel if the roles were reversed: if you were the priest and he was the one saying you were rude and autistic on a public forum.

 

[thequeen]

The priest who is pastor at our parish is not the most sociable either but we all know he has a great love for the Eucharist and is there for us when we need him.

 

[Exiled_Child]

He sounds like someone with a tremendous amount of anxiety, which is noble, because it means he’s suffering greatly in his role as priest. It suggests that he’s engaged in painful inner struggle, and that his demons are really crucifying him. I would say comfort the afflicted, TSW.

 

[Lookingforjoy]

He sounds like me…I have social anxiety.

Poor guy…perhaps you could pray for him regardless of what his diagnosis might be.

 

[Evania]

I think it fairly safe to say that he’s definitely not autistic since someone with autism would (hopefully) not have been accepted into the seminary (let alone been ordained) in the first place.

Why not?

Perhaps surprisingly, not all priests are extroverted “people persons”. That doesn’t mean that they’re somehow deficient or inadequate it just means that they’re personality doesn’t naturally lend itself to socialising and so it’s more difficult for them and thus requires a more effort than might otherwise be the case. As others have said, such priests have other gifts and talents which they bring to their priestly ministry.

This would also apply to those within the autistic spectrum.

 

[InThePew]

Why not?.

If a man was autistic this would most likely make him unsuitable for priestly ministry and this is something which almost certainly would have been picked up on during seminary formation if not before (more recent applicants are required to undergo a psychological assessment as part of the admission process). Granted, there are examples of people who are completely unsuitable for priesthood being ordained, although the usually don’t last.

This would also apply to those within the autistic spectrum.

True but not every introvert or otherwise socially awkward person is on the autism spectrum

 

[styrka]

I know a priest who’s on the autism spectrum. It doesn’t make him unsuitable to be a priest - he has a lot of wisdom, and for him a diagnosis was useful, because he was given specific support to give him better self-understanding. He is open about his diagnosis, and says it often helps people he is counselling to feel more understood, to know that their priest struggles with a disability. He’s been a priest for many years.

 

[pensmama87]

True but not every introvert or otherwise socially awkward person is on the autism spectrum

Introversion does not automatically mean socially awkward. Social awkwardness usually exists because of a lack of understanding of appropriate etiquette in social situations. It may be that introverts are more likely to come across as socially awkward because they don’t naturally choose to be sociable as frequently as others and enjoy being alone, but I’ve known plenty of extroverts who are remarkably socially awkward.

(Pet peeve of mine - I’m an introvert and I get very tired of this being discussed as some kind of personality defect. It’s not.)

 

[Evania]

I know a priest who’s on the autism spectrum. It doesn’t make him unsuitable to be a priest - he has a lot of wisdom, and for him a diagnosis was useful, because he was given specific support to give him better self-understanding. He is open about his diagnosis, and says it often helps people he is counselling to feel more understood, to know that their priest struggles with a disability. He’s been a priest for many years.

I agree. Autism doesn’t make someone unsuitable to be a priest. I just can’t picture Jesus agreeing with such a position.

 

[Sarcelle]

Introversion does not automatically mean socially awkward. Social awkwardness usually exists because of a lack of understanding of appropriate etiquette in social situations. It may be that introverts are more likely to come across as socially awkward because they don’t naturally choose to be sociable as frequently as others and enjoy being alone, but I’ve known plenty of extroverts who are remarkably socially awkward.

(Pet peeve of mine - I’m an introvert and I get very tired of this being discussed as some kind of personality defect. It’s not.)

Pope Benedict XVI comes across as an introvert. He probably would be most at home among his books and in an intellectual, academic setting unlike his predecessor, Pope John Paul II. An introvert is not necessarily shy or awkward. An introvert gets his or her energy from within and contact with others is a drain on that energy. I used to work retail sales and the constant contact with people made me extraordinarily tired. No wonder, Pope Benedict resigned. Popehood was just too draining on him.