Priest won't baptise my baby! Please help

[sabrinaofmn]

My husband and I are in the process of converting. We are both baptised Christians only married to each other seeking to convert, but we are told that we must go through RCIA, so that is what we will do. I read the Catechism, and it states that a baby must only receive baptism if there is a well-founded hope of being raised Catholic. I have received the sacrament of reconciliation from this priest, so he knows that I am serious. However, he won’t baptise my baby until Easter. He stated that we sometimes want things before we can have them; specifically, his parents wanted confirmation and had to wait until their annulment came through. He wants us to wait on infant baptism until our confirmation. Moreover, this priest, although very sincere and seemingly pious, doesn’t return phone calls or e-mails. What do I do next?

 

[pnewton]

I know that my priest gets frustrated with Catholics that approach the sacraments with punchcard mentality. When a baby is born, they start attend Mass just long enough for the baptism, then they quit until First Eucharist time, then repeat the same cycle until Confirmation. Many of our RCIA and adult sacramental class members, are gone within a few months and never darken the doors to the church.

Not that this is what you are doing, but it may be the way this priest thinks. I understand your concern and hope that you find a way to resolve this catch-22. If it takes until next Spring to have your baby baptized, then remember that in an emergency, anyone can baptize.

 

[sabrinaofmn]

I’m a Protestant converting because of theological reasons, and the priest knows this, so he knows that I’m serious.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

sabrinaofmn:

My husband and I are in the process of converting. We are both baptised Christians only married to each other seeking to convert, but we are told that we must go through RCIA, so that is what we will do. I read the Catechism, and it states that a baby must only receive baptism if there is a well-founded hope of being raised Catholic. I have received the sacrament of reconciliation from this priest, so he knows that I am serious. However, he won’t baptise my baby until Easter. He stated that we sometimes want things before we can have them; specifically, his parents wanted confirmation and had to wait until their annulment came through. He wants us to wait on infant baptism until our confirmation. Moreover, this priest, although very sincere and seemingly pious, doesn’t return phone calls or e-mails. What do I do next?

Frankly, the priest is right! Until you have completed your initiation, there is no “well-founded hope” since you could always back out, regardless of how sincere you seem to be. Easter isn’t that far away.

Deacon Ed

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

sabrinaofmn:

My husband and I are in the process of converting. We are both baptised Christians only married to each other seeking to convert, but we are told that we must go through RCIA, so that is what we will do. I read the Catechism, and it states that a baby must only receive baptism if there is a well-founded hope of being raised Catholic. I have received the sacrament of reconciliation from this priest, so he knows that I am serious. However, he won’t baptise my baby until Easter. He stated that we sometimes want things before we can have them; specifically, his parents wanted confirmation and had to wait until their annulment came through. He wants us to wait on infant baptism until our confirmation. Moreover, this priest, although very sincere and seemingly pious, doesn’t return phone calls or e-mails. What do I do next?

Hi,

I would suggest that you make sure to attend all the RCIA functions and sessions. A just relax. Ask the priest “How do I Baptize in case of an emergency?” Always cary a little bottle of water with you. I always do. The kind I drink from.

 

[davefl]

Above have already given you the correct answer to your problem. I just encourage you to go along with your priest…it won’t hurt you…
and, yes, if an emergency occurs, surely your baby will get baptised.
Remember, Jesus didn’t get baptised until St. John did this…think how old Jesus was…hmmmm?

 

[John_Higgins]

Deacon Ed:

Until you have completed your initiation, there is no “well-founded hope” since you could always back out, regardless of how sincere you seem to be.

She could still back out after being confirmed. They could raise the baby Druid, whatever they promise.

Sabrina, I think the potential “baptism of desire” should be enough for this priest. I do think he’s being overly scrupulous. Continue to go to RCIA, and seek another priest to baptize your baby.

Or, since you mention communication concerns, why not find another priest entirely?

John

 

[Deacon_Ed]

John Higgins:

She could still back out after being confirmed. They could raise the baby Druid, whatever they promise.

Sabrina, I think the potential “baptism of desire” should be enough for this priest. I do think he’s being overly scrupulous. Continue to go to RCIA, and seek another priest to baptize your baby.

Or, since you mention communication concerns, why not find another priest entirely?

John

John,

Yes, she could back out after confirmation or after years in the Church. The point is that the “well-founded hope” that is a requirement for baptism lies in her going through the RCIA process herself. Br. Rich’s suggestion to have water in case of an emergency is excellent. It allows for the emergency case.

Further, your mention of “baptism of desire” might actually apply as well. Since baptism requires a profession of faith, and since infants can’t make that profession but adults do, it seems reasonable that the desire of the parent to baptize could, indeed, suffice for baptism of desire. Remember, God actually wants to save all people and will make salvation available in some way to those who, through no fault of their own, do not avail themselves of baptism. This is what the Catechism tells us – we trust in the mercy of God.

Deacon Ed

 

[Marie]

If you are going to start off second guessing the priest, he well may have reason to question your sincerity. Go through RCIA and quit trying to lead. Learn to follow and grow some obedience and patience. Those who start protesting before they are even in the church are a good reason for a priest to have reservations.

Calm down, and be patient. Easter is not too long to wait.

 

[puppylove]

Patience! God grants good things to those of us who have patience. God Bless you and your husband’s on your journey to Catholicism.

 

[redkim]

And baptisms at Easter Vigil are special indeed…

 

[Catholicforlife]

If you haven’t finished RCIA, how did you recieve the sacrament of reconciliation?
I agree with Father, if the parents of a child are not Catholic (which techinically at this point you have not been initiated into the church), I would be hesitant to baptize the child.
Have faith, and know that this Easter when Father baptizes your little one and you are welcomed into the church, it will be a day never forgotten.
Blessings

 

[sabrinaofmn]

I received the sacrament of reconciliation at my request, and there is nothing in the law to prohibit the reception of this sacrament prior to confirmation. In fact, priests accept confessions from school children all the time, and they aren’t confirmed. It’s the same with the sacrament of baptism; you don’t have to be confirmed to receive that one either.

I believe that I have met the requirement of a “well-founded hope”. If it were necessary to be confirmed the canon law would state that the parents or guardians must be Catholic. However, that is not what it states.

I have not yet protested to this priest. I simply told him that I accepted his answer.

Lastly, a baptised Christian is not even supposed to go through RCIA. They are supposed to be brought in to the church separately from catechumens, per canon law.

I guess that I was just wondering what the proper course of action is when one sees a priest not following canon law.

In this case I will just move forward. Perhaps this priest isn’t consulting the law. The good bedside manner that this priest has is likely the reason why he is not also good at researching the canon law. We can’t all be good at everything.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

sabrinaofmn:

I received the sacrament of reconciliation at my request, and there is nothing in the law to prohibit the reception of this sacrament prior to confirmation. In fact, priests accept confessions from school children all the time, and they aren’t confirmed. It’s the same with the sacrament of baptism; you don’t have to be confirmed to receive that one either.

Correct and you will have to go to confession just before the Easter Vigil and your first Eucharist.

I believe that I have met the requirement of a “well-founded hope”. If it were necessary to be confirmed the canon law would state that the parents or guardians must be Catholic. However, that is not what it states.

I have never heard of this “well-fuonded hope”, can you please point out where this term is used in the Catechism and/or Canon Law.

I have not yet protested to this priest. I simply told him that I accepted his answer.

As you should.

Lastly, a baptised Christian is not even supposed to go through RCIA. They are supposed to be brought in to the church separately from catechumens, per canon law.

This is not entirely true.

You are considered a Candidate instead of a Catechumen. During Holy Week, the Catechumens will have their names added to the Book of Life, yours will not be. You will only be chrismated at the Easter Vigil as you have been baptized.

You still require instruction as you have not been catechized.

So rather than holding multiple classes you attend RCIA with the Catechumens.

I guess that I was just wondering what the proper course of action is when one sees a priest not following canon law.

In this case I will just move forward. Perhaps this priest isn’t consulting the law. The good bedside manner that this priest has is likely the reason why he is not also good at researching the canon law. We can’t all be good at everything.

Again, please point out the Canons the priest is violateing. I do not think the priest is in error.

I would also add that while what you interpret when you read Canon Law may not be what it is really saying. After all part of the seminary training a priest gets is in Canon Law and again, maybe this is something that the bishop has mandated.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

sabrinaofmn:

Lastly, a baptised Christian is not even supposed to go through RCIA. They are supposed to be brought in to the church separately from catechumens, per canon law.

I guess that I was just wondering what the proper course of action is when one sees a priest not following canon law.

In this case I will just move forward. Perhaps this priest isn’t consulting the law. The good bedside manner that this priest has is likely the reason why he is not also good at researching the canon law. We can’t all be good at everything.

I think that it is slao important to understand that the process used to bring a Baptized Christian into the Church is not specified in Canon Law. The process is contained in the “Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults” and other Church documents. These give te Pastor several options given the resources he has to work with. Many parishes for not have the resources to run parallel processes for the Catechumens and the Candidates. I do agree if possible Candidates should participate in the Rite of Reception at some other time, other than the Easter Vigil. I also believe that infants and children (under the age of reason) also should NOT be Baptized at the Easter Vigil. The Easter Vigil as revived to Baptize Adults into the Christian Faith.

 

[John_Higgins]

Byz,

Here is the quote from our Canon Law:

Can. 868 §1. For an infant to be baptized licitly:

1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;

2/ there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.

§2. An infant of Catholic parents or even of non-Catholic parents is baptized licitly in danger of death even against the will of the parents.

John

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

John Higgins:

Byz,

Here is the quote from our Canon Law:

Can. 868 §1.

For an infant to be baptized licitly:

1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;

2/ there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.

§2. An infant of Catholic parents or even of non-Catholic parents is baptized licitly in danger of death even against the will of the parents.

John

Thanks John, I was being lazy though as I have a copy of the CCL in word format.

After reading this I do not see anything that supports the accusation that this priest is not following Canon Law.

 

[Brendan]

I received the sacrament of reconciliation at my request, and there is nothing in the law to prohibit the reception of this sacrament prior to confirmation. In fact, priests accept confessions from school children all the time, and they aren’t confirmed. It’s the same with the sacrament of baptism; you don’t have to be confirmed to receive that one either.

I believe that I have met the requirement of a “well-founded hope”. If it were necessary to be confirmed the canon law would state that the parents or guardians must be Catholic. However, that is not what it states.

I have not yet protested to this priest. I simply told him that I accepted his answer.

I would ask your pastor exactly what his misgivings are. The circumstances under which he believes there is not a “well founded hope”

By availing yourself of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, you have been entered into the Catholic Church. You are now officially Catholic, you are a Catholic receiving instruction on the Eucharist and Confirmation.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Brendan:

By availing yourself of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, you have been entered into the Catholic Church. You are now officially Catholic, you are a Catholic receiving instruction on the Eucharist and Confirmation.

I do not think this is correct. Reconciliation is not a way to enter into the Catholic Church. Formal entry occurs though baptism and/or confirmation.

 

[Brendan]

ByzCath:

I do not think this is correct. Reconciliation is not a way to enter into the Catholic Church. Formal entry occurs though baptism and/or confirmation.

She is already Baptized.
Entry in the Latin Church for one who has a valid Baptism from another ‘ecclesiastical community’ happens when one makes a profession of faith, seeks and receives absolution of any heresy they held as a Protestant.

Assuming she has attended Mass and willingly said the Nicean Creed publically, she now has the exact same status as a Catholic school child who has not yet received the Eucharist and Confirmation.