Priest won't baptise my baby! Please help

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Brendan:
She is already Baptized.
Entry in the Latin Church for one who has a valid Baptism from another ‘ecclesiastical community’ happens when one makes a profession of faith, seeks and receives absolution of any heresy they held as a Protestant.

Assuming she has attended Mass and willingly said the Nicean Creed publically, she now has the exact same status as a Catholic school child who has not yet received the Eucharist and Confirmation.
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I think many of you are forgetting something. Baptism brings you into the Body of Christ and makes you a Christian. A Christian becomes Catholic when they are received into the Catholic Church by the Church. That is why it is properly called the Rite of Reception. One does not enter the Church, you are “received” into the Church.
 
While I hate second guessing another priest…it is maybe a bit much to wait till next Easter. I might wait to see if they showed up for RCIA for a few weeks, but then if I felt they were serious I would baptize the baby. I suggest you do that. Go for awhile and then ask again.
 
May I ask, are you just beginning the process of preparing to enter into full communion with the Catholic Church? Or have you been attending classes for quite some time, and waiting for Easter as that is the time set aside for confirmation of adults and reception into the Church? It may be that your priest needs to see your “track record” as proof, in his eyes, of your sincerity. It may also be that he has dealt with several families in your situation, and is trying to treat everyone the same, adhering to the same rules. Whatever his reasons, I am sure he is basing them on his own experience, and the guidelines for the RCIA process. Catechumens (unbaptized) and candidates (baptized Catholic or other Christian denomination) seeking either or all three sacraments of initiation celebrate similar, but different rites at certain times during their preparation. The Church in its wisdom, including 30 years experience with the new Rites, has found at least one, and preferrably two years of instruction and spiritual formation optimal. The time is longer for anyone (Catholic or not) who is essentially uncatechized, shorter for someone who has a thorough grounding in scripture and Christian doctrine (as is the case with many of our Protestant brothers and sisters).

The RCIA guidelines allow for catechising both groups together, as they benefit from the interaction that occurs in their classes. Children, of course, are usually instructed separately, although the actual rites may be celebrated with the adult group.

Bottom line: obedience and humility are the biggest hurdle you will face in your journey, as they are for any Christians’s growth in faith. This is your test, and your instruction in these virtues. We will all be praying with you,.especially during Lent and at Easter. Wait til you see how awesome it is, and you will be very glad to have had your child baptized at this time.
 
The otheres have given you good advice. I just want to say that you will be glad you waited…The Easter Vigil is awesome, and something you will never forget. I have taught in our RCIA for years, and have never lost my love for this special night…It is my favorite Mass of the year…
 
Might I inquire as to why you are so eager to have your baby baptized now rather than waiting until Easter?

I realize that this might sound like a silly question to some and I agree that baptism should not be needlessly delayed. But I am wondering if the only reason you want your baby baptized now is because you worry that the baby will die (sorry to be so blunt) or if there is some other reason. Do you believe that you are violating the will of God by delaying?
 
It is very wrong to delay the baptism of an infant.

I know a woman who is a Lutheran. She was very worried that her baby would die before the baby was baptised. So she had her baby baptised as soon as possible.

It was a good thing she did. The baby died in its sleep when the baby was about a month old.

In the Baltimore Catechism No. 4, Question No. 154 says “Think, then what a terrible crime it is to willfully allow anyone to die without Baptism, or to deprive a little child of life before it can be baptized! Suppose all the members of a family but one little infant have been baptized; when the Day of Judgement comes, while all the other members of a family-father, mother, and children-may go into Heaven, that little one will have to remain out; that little brother or sister will be separated from its family forever, and never, never see God or Heaven. How heartless and cruel, then, must a person be who would deprive that little infant of happiness for all eternity-just that its mother or someone else might have a little less trouble or suffering here on earth.”
 
Far be it for me to question the Baltimore Cathechism, but I was under the impression the Church was open the possibility that unbaptized infants may go to heaven. The idea of Limbo is not a doctrine of the Church and going to Hell without personal sin is inconsistant with the purpose of Hell.
 
Sabrina

Question? What do you mean in your profile that you MIGHT become a Catholic. If I were the Priest I might be hesitant to baptize the baby to if I knew that.
 
True, pnewton, Limbo isn’t even mentioned in the CCC. Here’s that quote:
1261 As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,” allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.
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But, following both catechisms, I see why Sabrina is anxious for her baby to be baptized now, and not wait until March.

It’s not about the obedience to a priest, it’s about obedience to what the Church recommends.

John
 
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cestusdei:
While I hate second guessing another priest…
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Not to be disrespectful… Then don’t second guess.
John Higgins:
It’s not about the obedience to a priest, it’s about obedience to what the Church recommends.
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It is not our job to interpret the Teachings of the Church. This is the job of the Bishop and those who he appoints as pastors. This priest is the pastor of the parish where this individual is attending RCIA so that does put him in a position of authority.

Again I will say this. We do not have the whole story here. We only know what one side is telling us.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Bablyon 5. Ambassador Kosh says, “The truth is a three edged sword. Their truth, your truth, and the truth.”
 
Since the Church teaches that baptism with water is necessary for salvation, i don’t understand why the priest would wait as long as you are showing that you are serious about entering the Catholic Church.

Yes, we have Baptism of desire, but we don’t have infallible assurance about this. It has not been formally defined. We Hope that Baptism of desire for infants will be in effect if the child dies, but we have no infallible assurance of faith taught dogmatically from the CHurch.

As such, i believe that the CHurch should not delay Baptism of the child.
 
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Dan-Man916:
Since the Church teaches that baptism with water is necessary for salvation, i don’t understand why the priest would wait as long as you are showing that you are serious about entering the Catholic Church.
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Whoa nelly. 🙂

Baptism by water is a sacrament.
Yet, the other two forms of Baptism ARE valid.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c1a1.htm#I

VI. THE NECESSITY OF BAPTISM

1257 The Lord himself affirms that Baptism is necessary for salvation.60 He also commands his disciples to proclaim the Gospel to all nations and to baptize them.61 Baptism is necessary for salvation for those to whom the Gospel has been proclaimed and who have had the possibility of asking for this sacrament.62 The Church does not know of any means other than Baptism that assures entry into eternal beatitude; this is why she takes care not to neglect the mission she has received from the Lord to see that all who can be baptized are “reborn of water and the Spirit.” God has bound salvation to the sacrament of Baptism, but he himself is not bound by his sacraments.

1258 The Church has always held the firm conviction that those who suffer death for the sake of the faith without having received Baptism are baptized by their death for and with Christ. This Baptism of blood, like the desire for Baptism, brings about the fruits of Baptism without being a sacrament
 
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KennySe:
Whoa nelly. 🙂

Baptism by water is a sacrament.
Yet, the other two forms of Baptism ARE valid.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c1a1.htm#I

VI. THE NECESSITY OF BAPTISM

1257 The Lord himself affirms that Baptism is necessary for salvation.60 He also commands his disciples to proclaim the Gospel to all nations and to baptize them.61 Baptism is necessary for salvation for those to whom the Gospel has been proclaimed and who have had the possibility of asking for this sacrament.62 The Church does not know of any means other than Baptism that assures entry into eternal beatitude; this is why she takes care not to neglect the mission she has received from the Lord to see that all who can be baptized are “reborn of water and the Spirit.” God has bound salvation to the sacrament of Baptism, but he himself is not bound by his sacraments.

1258 The Church has always held the firm conviction that those who suffer death for the sake of the faith without having received Baptism are baptized by their death for and with Christ. This Baptism of blood, like the desire for Baptism, brings about the fruits of Baptism without being a sacrament
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To understand the summary presented in 1258. One must go to other Doctrinal sources like Denzinger.

Baptism of Blood applies when an unbaptized person is killed because of their refusal to deny Christ.

Baptism of Desire applies when a person makes an explicit and public statement of their desire for Baptism. As a catechumen does in the Rite of Acceptance. But dies before being able to receive the Sacrament of Baptism.

Both supply the Grace of Baptism but are not equivalent to the Sacrament of Baptism
 
John Higgins:
She could still back out after being confirmed. They could raise the baby Druid, whatever they promise.

Sabrina, I think the potential “baptism of desire” should be enough for this priest. I do think he’s being overly scrupulous. Continue to go to RCIA, and seek another priest to baptize your baby.

Or, since you mention communication concerns, why not find another priest entirely?

John
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It is said that desire for the Eucharist, desire for Baptism, are very powerful and efficacious forms of penance. Also, Sabrina, from experience, I know that waiting is a grace-filled discipline, a sign of one’s docility to Christ and to the Church, and that whatever frustration you now feel will be rewarded when you bring your baby to the font at Easter.

May God hold your hand all the while . . .
 
Thank you all for taking the time to address my issue.

My profile says “might” become Catholic because it is old. I am voraciously devouring Catholic doctrine, and I am now convinced that the Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus founded. My husband and I will now convert. In accordance with what the priest has said, we will attend RCIA next month and be confirmed at Easter.

Because the Church is not definitive on what happens to unbaptised babies, as a mother, I want to be certain that I do all that I can do. People say to carry a bottle of water around, but frankly, that only works some of the time. This week my baby (20 months) broke his collar bone, and we don’t know how it happened. If breaking his collar bone had been death, we wouldn’t have had time to baptise him, which is my concern.

You are all correct that obedience and patience are virtues, and I shall exercise them in this situation. My husband and I will go to RCIA, then maybe bring up the issue again, gently. I will just ask why we haven’t met the criterion of a well founded hope of raising our baby Catholic. If the priest still says no, we’ll wait until Easter. I’m not going to shop around for another priest. This priest is a good man, but he’s young (my age), so this might be a new situation for him. He might need some time to mull over the situation. I know that I am a rarity because everyone acted strange when I was ready to make my first confession. It appears like I’m the only one who has ever asked for this prior to confirmation. He granted that request, so he’s not unreasonable.

Again, thank you all for your time, and many of your comments have been very helpful.
 
This priest has now decided that it is okay to baptise my baby. My husband and I have been to a couple of RCIA classes, had breakfast with the priest, he has seen as at the adoration chapel, etc. He told me to call the parish office and get it scheduled, so now I shall do so!!!
 
Sabrina,

I’ve been following this thread with disbelief. I’m so relieved to find out the priest changed his mind and your little one will be baptized soon.

Praise the Lord!
Tricia Frances
 
This is serious.

My oldest son now 45, has a daughter now 20 years old. He went to our Parochial School, was an Alter Boy and was married by a Dominican Father. Always when babies were born in this region they were Baptised at about one month. It was never a hassel, the priest did it at his convieniece.

But when my son who was living some distance away asked the Priest to Baptise his little girl, the Priest said ,“No!”. The Priest told him he would have to wait six to eight months. This was 20 years ago.The result was it made my son so angry that he never went back to a Catholic Church nor did my grand daughter! My son could not understand why all of a sudden his daughter had to wait 6 to 8 months. He told me that a baby was Baptised in that church just two weeks before that.

Twenty years have passed and my son and his family don’t go to any church at all. If that young Priest had known what he was about to cause - he would have Baptised my grand daughter.

Baptisms used to be done after Mass. All 3 of my sons were Baptised after Mass…it takes all of ten minutes! Now my son is gone. He will not come back, just because of that Priest’s action.
I don’t like it one bit!
 
Our situation was a bit different, but if the original poster has solidly Catholic family members/friends, there is no reason to delay.

My nephew and his wife were both “pagan babies” (as we used to say). They sent their oldest son to Catholic school, presumably for the education, but there was a little bonus. This little first-grade kid would come home & witness to his folks. Mom and dad really started looking into the Faith, and when she became pregant with her second child, they joined RCIA with hearts determined to live as an active Catholic family. Their second baby was born October 20, 2003, and they asked their RCIA instructor if they could have their children baptized while completing their instruction. The DRE, answering from a purely “liturgist” point of view thought it would be more “beautiful” to bring the entire family into the Church at the Easter Vigil. This threw a red flag up to them - the parish wanted appearances over matter - so they came to our parish. The priest (who taught the RCIA) met with them privately and determined that the kids would not be in danger of being uncatechized with my husband and me as godparents. My husband welcomed both children into the Church with Baptism on Dec 6, 2003, and their folks entered the Church on Easter Vigil this year. They are all on fire for the faith.

Each case has to be weighed on its own merit, but if there is parental desire, along with a committed course of RCIA, it might be in the best interests of all to baptize the baby now.
 
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