Priest wouldn't give dispensation...caused all sorts of trouble!

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If I offended you I apologize .

I meant the OP. print it out and give it to him to read . so people do not say you spoke behind his back.

these are very different times … Do you see members of other religions say anything critical about their numbers ? they don’t .we should never be critical about the church or clergy in public no matter what . they attack and assail the priests . they say very bad things about them. they mean to harm the church. We aid and abet unintentionally when we criticize publicly. they use it against us.

I do not think you have a case . this is an issue of justice to me . You did not deserve a dispensation. the standards are high .

let me tell you about an extraordinary nun I know. she is 74 years old . she took care of roughly 100 orphans while bombs fell in and around the compound . Right now we have to try to prevail on her to take it easy but she doesn’t listen . everyday she is at some church compound in the middle of nowhere it would seem.or camp . she starts from early morning doing this and that in some oppressively hot weather and dangerous conditions . she works in an area we call the TB belt . Resistant Tuberculosis. Malaria, typhoid, dysentery , HIV ,etc . . worms come out of people skin .

A young Chinese nun from the order of mother Teresa is always there too , happy go lucky always smiling and giggling . she says she would love to die for Jesus . I call her super nun. Nothing happens to them because Jesus has his protective arms around them . she doesn’t miss mass clock or no clock either

Both nuns are fluent in the local languages and dialogues . between a rigorous regime of piety and prayer and a long hard day full of challenging work involving sometimes hundred kids and more where did they find the time to learn other languages ?but that is the standard they set . they attend Masses in several languages . no issue.

I tell you never ever has any of these nuns asked me for donation citing these kids as the reason why . never . they would never use their kids that way . never, not once did anyone of them come to me or priest came to me and used the kids or the needy . they do come but they hand me a paper stating what is needed and I give my share . usually though it never comes to that I beat them to it. A certain day of the month I come and hand the donation.

they are not the only ones. There are many . all over the place . they are not exceptions
.
My mother bore 14 kids . never cited us as a burden or excuse or reason .

We never cite life as a reason or as an excuse . we use life then next then we undermine it . abortion.

if these ladies ask not for dispensation why should you get it ? that is what is unfair

Okay never mind Spanish . how about Arabic ? can you do that ? learn Arabic?. I’m starting counter migration movement . instead of people going to the west they come to Africa instead . you are more than welcome to come to Africa. will you help kick start this effort ? bring your family and come. I’m serious . i think you’re a wonderful family . we are just from different cultures i guess . different challenges . .
 
Wow, recalling the story of Martha and Mary, I can’t help but feel we have made way to big of a thing about this, much as Martha did. What would Jesus say? He certainly would not quote canon law, that I am absolutely certain of.

He would instead embrace and comfort the OP.

We should be praying for her, her family, and the priest, and leave everything in God’s able and loving hands!
 
If I offended you I apologize .

I meant the OP. print it out and give it to him to read . so people do not say you spoke behind his back.

these are very different times … Do you see members of other religions say anything critical about their numbers ? they don’t .we should never be critical about the church or clergy in public no matter what . they attack and assail the priests . they say very bad things about them. they mean to harm the church. We aid and abet unintentionally when we criticize publicly. they use it against us.

I do not think you have a case . this is an issue of justice to me . You did not deserve a dispensation. the standards are high .

let me tell you about an extraordinary nun I know. she is 74 years old . she took care of roughly 100 orphans while bombs fell in and around the compound . Right now we have to try to prevail on her to take it easy but she doesn’t listen . everyday she is at some church compound in the middle of nowhere it would seem.or camp . she starts from early morning doing this and that in some oppressively hot weather and dangerous conditions . she works in an area we call the TB belt . Resistant Tuberculosis. Malaria, typhoid, dysentery , HIV ,etc . . worms come out of people skin .

A young Chinese nun from the order of mother Teresa is always there too , happy go lucky always smiling and giggling . she says she would love to die for Jesus . I call her super nun. Nothing happens to them because Jesus has his protective arms around them . she doesn’t miss mass clock or no clock either

Both nuns are fluent in the local languages and dialogues . between a rigorous regime of piety and prayer and a long hard day full of challenging work involving sometimes hundred kids and more where did they find the time to learn other languages ?but that is the standard they set . they attend Masses in several languages . no issue.

I tell you never ever has any of these nuns asked me for donation citing these kids as the reason why . never . they would never use their kids that way . never, not once did anyone of them come to me or priest came to me and used the kids or the needy . they do come but they hand me a paper stating what is needed and I give my share . usually though it never comes to that I beat them to it. A certain day of the month I come and hand the donation.

they are not the only ones. There are many . all over the place . they are not exceptions
.
My mother bore 14 kids . never cited us as a burden or excuse or reason .

We never cite life as a reason or as an excuse . we use life then next then we undermine it . abortion.

if these ladies ask not for dispensation why should you get it ? that is what is unfair

Okay never mind Spanish . how about Arabic ? can you do that ? learn Arabic?. I’m starting counter migration movement . instead of people going to the west they come to Africa instead . you are more than welcome to come to Africa. will you help kick start this effort ? bring your family and come. I’m serious . i think you’re a wonderful family . we are just from different cultures i guess . different challenges . .
Actually I have a Master’s degree in French and I also read a fair amount of Italian. I am not speaking behind anyone’s back either. I tried to explain this all to the priest, but felt hurried and hustled out of the confessional, so I highly doubt he would have any interest in my going back and regailing him with tales from CAF. I would have stayed to explain my situation for several minutes more had he not closed off the conversation abruptly. We are allowed to seek advice and question things, even online so long as we do not bash the Church or show disrespect to it. I don’t believe I have said anything disrespectful here.

And all of these people you mention sound wonderful and devout. However, we are not all bound by those standards simply because of a few heroic individuals. The Apostles all left their families and travelled around preaching and were martyred for their faith. Shall I leave my family and travel around the Middle East and be killed for my beliefs because I am trying to win some kind of contest of who loves Jesus more? My vocation is to be a mother, to raise my children here for now and to do my best to love Jesus and teach my kids to do the same. I don’t need to deprive my kids and myself and my unborn child of their mid-day meal or offend and hurt my friends to do that. I obeyed the priest (although I now believe that was not totally necessary) and I went to mass. It’s done. Would I make the same choice again? I doubt it. Jesus knows my heart. He ALONE knows what He has called me to do and who he has called me to be. And no, He doesn’t consider me to be worthless compared to a priest or a nun. I believe He loves me just the same.
 
Wow, recalling the story of Martha and Mary, I can’t help but feel we have made way to big of a thing about this, much as Martha did. What would Jesus say? He certainly would not quote canon law, that I am absolutely certain of.

He would instead embrace and comfort the OP.

We should be praying for her, her family, and the priest, and leave everything in God’s able and loving hands!
Thank you 🙂
 
I ought to take a remedial reading comprehension course.

Trying Hard, you have my admiration. Had I been you, I wouldn’t have stayed. You are a better Catholic than I am. 👍
I doubt that, but I’m REALLY trying to do the right thing, by God and those He has put in my life. Sometimes, those waters seem muddy, but im doing my best!
 
Or maybe…he was right?
It’s hard for me to know because I was hustled out of the confessional so fast that I didn’t even hear the absolution. So I honestly don’t know if he heard me or understood my circumstances at all. I am fairly certain I did not get a chance to explain the entire situation, the ages of my kids, the whole dinner situation, etc. He seemed to think all of that was immaterial or didn’t want to hear about it. I assume he understood what I DID say. That is one of the things that makes it so frustrating. I honestly can’t say if he would have given a different answer if he had known the totality of my circumstances or not, so I really can’t even apply his advice to any future situations. I was in there for maybe 3 minutes total, including the actual confession. I don’t even know if he used the proper form for the absolution because I didn’t hear it. I had to ask if I had been absolved. He said “yes”, so I guess I was.
 
let get one thing straight here . . you’re a far far fbetter person than I’m and by far . I’m Johnny come lately .in my younger days I was very bad news . compared to me you’re a hero many times over .an agel. that is why you have to go with the higher standards . To those who are given much , much is expected .you’re a hero . you’re going to raise heroes .of course you’re absolved . you better be or else what hope is there for someone like me . beside if deserve had anything to do with it i should be dead in some swamp in the jungles of africa long ago or bridge somewhere . .

it was kind of you to talk to me . I don’t deserve it . take care

p.s. you fare better with French than english . more countries speak it
 
let get one thing straight here . . you’re a far far fbetter person than I’m and by far . I’m Johnny come lately .in my younger days I was very bad news . compared to me you’re a hero many times over .an agel. that is why you have to go with the higher standards . To those who are given much , much is expected .you’re a hero . you’re going to raise heroes .of course you’re absolved . you better be or else what hope is there for someone like me . beside if deserve had anything to do with it i should be dead in some swamp in the jungles of africa long ago or bridge somewhere . .

it was kind of you to talk to me . I don’t deserve it . take care

p.s. you fare better with French than english . more countries speak it
Wow, thank you Really. God bless 🙂
 
let get one thing straight here . . you’re a far far fbetter person than I’m and by far . I’m Johnny come lately .in my younger days I was very bad news . compared to me you’re a hero many times over .an agel. that is why you have to go with the higher standards . To those who are given much , much is expected .you’re a hero . you’re going to raise heroes .of course you’re absolved . you better be or else what hope is there for someone like me . beside if deserve had anything to do with it i should be dead in some swamp in the jungles of africa long ago or bridge somewhere . .

it was kind of you to talk to me . I don’t deserve it . take care

p.s. you fare better with French than english . more countries speak it
I didn’t agree with your posts, but then I often don’t agree with my own posts when I look back them later! The enthusiasm in your posts was inspiring in its own way.

CAF works because most of us start here as just average Catholics or outsiders, with a bit of knowledge, a bit of good will, and then we start contributing, and we learn as we go. Good will is main thing.

Nice post, wadramli!

👍:tiphat:
 
Hello,

Frankly, I haven’t kept up on the minutiae of this thread to know whether or not the OP was a “traveler” or not–i.e., if she was actually outside of the parish of her domicile or not. My impression was that she indeed was away from the parish of her domicile.

But, that’s a secondary matter. The canon I referenced (c. 91) used the term “traveler” and so I did, too, not to make a statement about the OP as much as to properly identify the dispensing power of a pastor, even in regard to those who are not his subjects.

That being said, I don’t think I can agree with your definition of “traveler.” Canon 100: “A person is said to be…a traveler (peregrinus) if away from the domicile or quasi-domicile which is still retained… .” If a person is away from his quasi/domicile, he’s a traveler for as long as he is absent. It doesn’t have to be a long absence.

Dan
Thanks Dan. I didn’t mean to imply they had to be gone for a long absence. Just giving some examples.

But “traveler” do not include a person who is visiting another local parish. For example I live within 5 miles of 19 different Catholic Churches. When I’m visiting one of them for mass, not my home parish, I’m not considered a “traveler.” 🙂

God Bless
 
let get one thing straight here . . you’re a far far fbetter person than I’m and by far . I’m Johnny come lately .in my younger days I was very bad news . compared to me you’re a hero many times over .an agel. that is why you have to go with the higher standards . To those who are given much , much is expected .you’re a hero . you’re going to raise heroes .of course you’re absolved . you better be or else what hope is there for someone like me . beside if deserve had anything to do with it i should be dead in some swamp in the jungles of africa long ago or bridge somewhere . .

it was kind of you to talk to me . I don’t deserve it . take care

p.s. you fare better with French than english . more countries speak it
:confused:
 
There is really no dispensation for that. You should have went to another church that offers masses in the afternoon/evening. It is easy to tell your visitors to postpone the visit to you.
 
trying hard,

I have sympathy for you. I understand your circumstances. I would not have even asked the priest for a dispensation.

Then you came here and got thrown some of the imbalance/legalism that CAF has to offer.

Do you think next time you are in a situation like this you will still feel the need to ask for a dispensation? Did you believe that God would send you to hell if you did not get a dispensation and missed mass this day?

I would encourage you to trust your own conscience and the love and mercy of God.
 
There is really no dispensation for that. You should have went to another church that offers masses in the afternoon/evening. It is easy to tell your visitors to postpone the visit to you.
How can you make such a claim that “there is really no dispensation for that”. Unless you are a priest with the authority to grant dispensations, you are not qualified to make such a sweeping generality.

Why are we all so quick to burden this poor woman with additional guilt. If she has asked Him, God has already forgiven her, whether forgiveness is necessary or not!

Come on people, God is about love, mercy, kindness, and compassion. Why can’t we be the same…we are called to be like Him.

And, Christ himself told us he came not to condemn but to save!

Peace and all good!
 
You could have invited your friends to the evening Mass or postponed dinner.
 
Am I the only person who wonders whether some posters here are envious of such a faithful and committed woman who also is blessed with a good husband and family? When I am envious of someone, their complaining is particularly hard for me to handle. Maybe the deeply inconsiderate nature of the some of the comments here come from that sort of emotion?

This thread may be something of a voodoo doll upon which people are taking out their aggression on people who live full and prosperous lives. I hope I’m wrong about that. 😦
 
You could have invited your friends to the evening Mass or postponed dinner.
“Hey, I know you don’t attend Church, but come to mass with us or sit at our house and just wait alone while we go to church on your way through town.” Ok…

I could see if we made no other plans to attend mass, but the whole POINT here is that we went to church, but got the mass time wrong. We went specifically to this particular mass BECAUSE going any other time that day was not a viable option and we walked in at the end. Going in the evening was no option at all, sorry folks. I’m not having these friends stop on their way after a 4 hour drive and try to force them into church, cancel on them altogether after we had made a commitment to them to meet, or ask them to sit at our home and WAIT so that we could attend a mass we already did our best to attend earlier. That’s a little crazy…We ended up just staying and going to the Confirmation mass thirsty and very hungry for lunch so we could do what the priest said we should do. I’m already 8 months pregnant and underweight as it is. I probably wouldn’t repeat this again.

Jesus is not trying to trap me into hell. If He is, I may as well quit now because I will never make it no matter how hard I try. Seriously, if that’s all it takes, I’m doomed.
 
What would Jesus say? He certainly would not quote canon law, that I am absolutely certain of.

He would instead embrace and comfort the OP.
And then possibly say go and sin no more.

He did say if you love me you will keep my commandments.
 
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