Priesthood vs. Expectations

[Me_4rm_India]

I have been discerning whether to become a priest for a long time…preferably enter the salesians (Don Bosco) congregation. . .Am staying in India and hence we dont have any old-age care system/scheme unlike US,EU etc…Being their only son, my parents have spent their life,money, everything just 4 me & my sis(learning 2 be a doc) education…Right now in my final year of engineering and tempted by various job offers(pretty good in hightech corps) my parents desire (i think as the fruit of their life’s work) me getting a good job, marriage, grandchildren and a happy good life with them. . .But I have been getting this, say, thug all through my life about being a catholic priest…Our family is a strong cradle catholic family. . .But how can i give them this shocking news of my deviation in life from that of a normal Indian kid !!! Who will take care of them…But most importantly does it make sense to think about a priest based on certain feelings within a young 21yr old mind …I confess i am not a guy fit to be a priest…yet i do know i have certain graces which can only be fully realised in priesthood…I am at crossroads & dunno how to go about…
P.S. Oops this is one long text…thanks 4r your patience

 

[acatholicnun]

If your family is anything like the Catholic Indian families I know, they would be thrilled and delighted if you announced this desire. The family would feel blessed to have a son become a religious priest.

I have a friend who is an order priest from India…a Fransailian.

 

[jdnrite01]

I understand your problem, and I think that you should pray to the Holy Spirit for inspiration. You’re obviously devout in this matter, and I will pray for you to resolve this issue.

 

[Me_4rm_India]

If your family is anything like the Catholic Indian families I know, they would be thrilled and delighted if you announced this desire. The family would feel blessed to have a son become a religious priest.

I have a friend who is an order priest from India…a Fransailian.

Yep sister that was very much the way, some 20 yrs back, when the average catholic family here had 8+ kids …But in our generation of nuclear families 2+ kids is ’ recommended '…and here if the first child happens 2 be a boy then procreation mission considered over:shrug: . . .Its time i got hold of a spiritual director and then decide whether i am fit to be a Men In Black…oops…here its Men In White …Pls pray for the Holy Spirit to guide me and give me courage which i tremendously lack

 

[Me_4rm_India]

I understand your problem, and I think that you should pray to the Holy Spirit for inspiration. You’re obviously devout in this matter, and I will pray for you to resolve this issue.

:yup: Thanks and i shall try my best 2 pray (pretty poor at it but the Lord knows my intentions.and my weakness) . .Don Bosco always insisted that one should go 4 adoration of the Blessed Sacrament as much as possible…Plan to try that today on my own for the first time without my parents knowledge …

 

[acatholicnun]

We’ll be praying for you!

 

[intothedeep]

Dear Friend,
I know that since you are the eldest (and apparently) only son, that in your culture that is a big responsibility. It would be easier if you had brothers.

Depending upon your age, perhaps you could work for a few years and build up some funds for your parents’ care to help your sister, and then consider entering with the Salesians after her graduation from medical school. While you are working, you could involve yourself in the Salesian work and build a sense of relationship with them, which would help with your discernment.

I know that the desire to respond to God’s call can be very strong. Do you have a spiritual director? Perhaps one of the Salesians? You seem familiar with our spirituality, so that would help…

Know that you are in my prayers. May God bless you. If you do become a Salesian, you will never regret it. Your country is especially experiencing a great springtime for the vocation, and the rest of us look at India with admiration.

(I am in formation with the Salesian Sisters, just in case anyone was wondering. I am also a Salesian Cooperator.).

 

[intothedeep]

:yup: Thanks and i shall try my best 2 pray (pretty poor at it but the Lord knows my intentions.and my weakness) . .Don Bosco always insisted that one should go 4 adoration of the Blessed Sacrament as much as possible…Plan to try that today on my own for the first time without my parents knowledge …

Well, Don Bosco said to make as many Visits to the Blessed Sacrament as possible. Short, frequent visits, though out the day are a hallmark of Salesian Eucharistic devotion… but if you are not near a church, I am sure he will smile upon you for Visiting Jesus in adoration!

Eventually you might want to ease your family into your religious devotion, because if you become a Salesian, your family will be a very important part of your formation process and discernment. They will always be involved in your life one way or another… Don Bosco always insisted that the principle benefactors of the Salesians were the Salesians’ families, as they had given their sons and daughters to the vocation.

 

[Me_4rm_India]

thanks to all 4r the prayers and the advise…
Dear intothedeep:nun1: i am the younger one with my sister getting her degree soon…financially we are middle class and content…but the challenge i face is going against my parents pre-planned track of my life & their expectations…:yup: you are perfectly right that its time i reveal to them what i want my life to be… i also have to improve my inner life, spirituality and repel :banghead: my vices by leaps and bounds to be presentable to live such a life…and i am still trying and will always try one step at a time:thumbsup: … My aim in life is to do anything that the Lord commands, just that my hearing skills is not upto the mark:wink: . . .Pls do pray for me & others having similar situations in life to be courageous and full of hope. . .may the Lord guide us in all that we do…

P.S. Hey Grigio where are you ???

 

[Schnitz]

Hey dude… I am in the same boat as you. I am 17 years old and I believe that I have a vocation to the priesthood. Unfortunately, my parents have this life plan for me, with these expectations that I know I could do, but don’t feel that God is calling me to do. My dad wants me to become an engineer, and my mom wants grandchildren. She also thinks that God has big plans in store for me, but not in the priesthood. I feel like I am letting them down in some way, but at the same time I know that I have to trust God. Things will eventually work out. All we can do is pray that the Holy Spirit will strengthen us and aid us. You are in my prayers. Schnitz

 

[augieboo]

. . .But how can i give them this shocking news of my deviation in life from that of a normal Indian kid !!! Who will take care of them…But most importantly does it make sense to think about a priest based on certain feelings within a young 21yr old mind …I confess i am not a guy fit to be a priest…yet i do know i have certain graces which can only be fully realised in priesthood…I am at crossroads & dunno how to go about…

What you need is advice from someone who has “been there” – which unfortunately probably does not apply to most on this forum. But, I’m willing to bet that one or more of the following gentlemen will be able to help you through your difficulties. They are all from an order which is dedicated to helping others discern their vocations. And, depending on what part of Kerala you are in, and your mobility, they may even be close enough to talk to face-to-face.

Thalore
Superior: Fr. Jimson Alukkal, SDV
Vice Superior: Fr. Sathish Kanjiraparambil, SDV
Vocationist Fathers
Father Justin Vocationary
Thalore P.O.
Thrissur - 680 306. Kerala, India
Phone: 011 91 (487)-2355-915ca

Mulayam
Superior: Fr. Antony Pittapilly, SDV
Vice Superior: Fr. Shiju Chittatukkara, SDV
Vocationist Fathers
Divine Union Vocationary
Ayyappankavu P. O. Mulayam
Thrissur-680 751. Kerala, India
Phone: 011 91 (0487) - 2284166

Thalassery
Superior: Fr. Anil Akkara, SDV
Vice Superior: Fr. Jerence Thanikkal, SDV
St. Bartholomew Vocationary,
Vocationist Fathers,
P. O. Kavumbhagam, Thalassery,
Kannur Dt., Pin-670 110, Kerala, S.
India,
e-mail: sdvthalassery@rediffmail.com

 

[Me_4rm_India]

Hey dude… I am in the same boat as you. I am 17 years old and I believe that I have a vocation to the priesthood. Unfortunately, my parents have this life plan for me, with these expectations that I know I could do, but don’t feel that God is calling me to do. My dad wants me to become an engineer, and my mom wants grandchildren. She also thinks that God has big plans in store for me, but not in the priesthood. I feel like I am letting them down in some way, but at the same time I know that I have to trust God. Things will eventually work out. All we can do is pray that the Holy Spirit will strengthen us and aid us. You are in my prayers. Schnitz

It feels good to know that there are guys :grouphug: like us all over the world who are in such dilemmas… .At the same time, there are many highly potential catholic youth who have longings but have no guide or support as in CAF As soon as i do finish my engg. course in another year i ought to try my vocation, whether others deride it or not…When The Creator The Almighty The Supreme Architect The pinnacle of engineering The infinity of infinities knocks on the door of your heart. .:bigyikes: .You dont wanna miss the opportunity of Life !!! …Will Pray 4 U dear buddy . . .Cheerio !!!

 

[Me_4rm_India]

What you need is advice from someone who has “been there” – which unfortunately probably does not apply to most on this forum. But, I’m willing to bet that one or more of the following gentlemen will be able to help you through your difficulties. They are all from an order which is dedicated to helping others discern their vocations. And, depending on what part of Kerala you are in, and your mobility, they may even be close enough to talk to face-to-face.

You are absolutely right :yup: …gotta get hold of a young priest who has gone through such dilemmas cause nothing beats experience…thanks thanks :extrahappy: a lot 4 those address and mail ids. . .What i got to do is muster up my courage and tell a priest the story of my life:blushing: . . .May The Almighty wherever u are !!!

 

[andy314]

Gosh… It is nice to know there are others with such a dilemma. My brother is a Jesuit and there was lots of pain, confusion, and disappointment among our parents when he told them he wished to enter religious life. They eventually moved past it and absolutely love him and support him. My parents are Catholic and we’ve all grown up Catholic, except my father. They’ve had these expectations for me to get married and that they would see their grandchildren. I am now discerning a possible priestly vocation. This is all new and I am very afraid to tell my parents. I had a breakup with my gf because of this and I really am not able to tell my parents the real reason yet. So hard. They will have some tough reactions I think and assume my brother had something to do with it. I think they fail to recognize that it’s a call from God, not influence from others.

Has anyone here told your parents and been faced with a difficult reaction or not so great understanding or not the support you had hoped for?

 

[andy314]

I told my parents this afternoon with lots of fear. My prayers before telling them paid off. They listened and accepted so lovingly and selflessly. We spent the next hour or so talking about faith. I felt it would be so strange for them since my brother was already called. They said they truly want the best for me. I thank God for his assistance in telling them and the fact they weren’t as reactive as I thought.