Priestly vocation refused

  • Thread starter Thread starter Athanasius93
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Athanasius93

Guest
Hi all,

a couple of months ago I visited the Seminary of the SSPX in France to discern my vocation. (no need to comment on the fact that it was SSPX, I know it is controversial) but they refused me. Now last week I met a diocesan priest from England who is also FSSP/SSPX/Traditional minded and he said to me (without me mentioning anything of my past) after having served Mass with him, that I really need to consider entering a seminary because he saw lots of priestly qualities in me.
I explained him my experience with the SSPX and he insisted I must continue to look for another seminary (FSSP or ICK).
My question is regaring the reason of the refusal by the SSPX: it was because I had an unchaste relationship with a girl for too long. I entered the relationship before my conversion, but after 2 years I found the faith and I ended the relationship 2 years after my conversion, and it were these 2 years that were a problem according to the seminary rector.
I talked about it with other traditional priests and they did not agree with the decision of the rector. They brought up the life of Saint Augustine and his conversion.
I sort of found peace after the seminary visit but now with the english priest mentioning it again I am again starting to doubt.
Was the rector right in refusing me or not ? What do you think ? Do I need to try to apply with the FSSP or the ICK ?
My spiritual director (a priest from the SSPX) said to me I need to follow my conscience and he wont be looking strange at me if I would go to the FSSP or ICK, it’s about me and Christ and not the amount of priests that a congregation has, he said.
 
People who accept or refuse vocations are not perfect. There are many cases of saints who were turned down by multiple orders or seminaries before finding the place where they belonged.

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Maybe he is calling you to be a priest elsewhere. I would look into the other suggestions you were given.
 
Thirty years ago I tried my vocation in a contemplative Benedictine monastery. I stayed for two years before it was clear this was not my vocation, much as I loved the life.

I highly recommend talking with a vocation director in the FSSP (don’t know what ICK is) and seeing if that door opens to you.

Regarding whether the SSPX was correct in refusing you is beside the point. That door is closed. Check out a few others – try your vocation – and see where God leads.

God may open the door to the priesthood or religious life.

Or he may use your searching to lead you to a different beautiful and unexpected path.

God bless you!
 
The question I have is; how long has it been since you broke up with the woman? If it’s fairly recent, I can understand why some folks would be hesitant to accept you within the seminary.

Presuming that there is a sufficient period of time between ending the relationship and the present day, if you’re called, you’re called - there’s zero harm looking at other Societies. The FSSP are “what what one would call traditionalist” and have valid/licit Sacraments Likewise, with the ICK. Both would be excellent, and in my opinion both would be far superior than the SSPX.
 
Last edited:
To avoid confusion, ick is a term in English that means something is repulsive.

ICK is not an official acronym for the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest (ICKSP)

Institutum Christi Regis Summi Sacerdotis or ICRSS, the above mentioned ICKSP, or or ICRSP are the preferred acronyms for this particular group.
 
Last edited:
The relationship lasted from january 2011 till march 2015 and I visited the seminary in april this year
 
Athanasius93 said:
Was the rector right in refusing me or not ? What do you think ? Do I need to try to apply with the FSSP or the ICK ?

My spiritual director (a priest from the SSPX) said to me I need to follow my conscience and he wont be looking strange at me if I would go to the FSSP or ICK, it’s about me and Christ and not the amount of priests that a congregation has, he said.
Click to expand...
Get a spiritual director from the office of vocations within your diocese, or within an order of priests that is NOT SSPX.

What the SSPX rector did or didn’t do, accept or not accept, isn’t a matter of right or wrong. It’s a matter of their own rule, their own criteria, and how you fit into it. You did not. Move on. Every order is different, and diocesan priesthood is different from order priesthood.

I think you need more formation, because you say to ignore the SSPX part of your tale, but it’s a BIG part of it and one that says maybe you aren’t quite ready for a vocation yet. Talk with diocesan priests and order priests who are not in the status that SSPX is currently in.

Talk to an FSSP or ICK vocations director if those are the ones you are interested in joining.
 
Athanasius93 said:
The relationship lasted from january 2011 till march 2015 and I visited the seminary in april this year
Click to expand...
If it’s been two years and you only have really been discerning this for a couple of months, I can understand where he’s coming from. And he might be thinking two years isn’t enough time removed from the situation. If it was say, five years, do you think he would have said something differently?

I agree with what @1ke said in their post. I think it would be a good idea to speak with vocation directors from other organizations like your diocese, FSSP, ICK, misc etc. If they all say that there hasn’t been enough time removed from your previous relationship, then perhaps spend the next bit focusing on discernment and faith formation.
 
Last edited:
No, I was even discerning it while I was in the relationship but had not yet the “guts” to end the relationship. The thought of being a priest was present since my conversion but I didn’t take action right away.
And yes, I will talk with the ICRSS and the FSSP but not with my diocese, they are awfully modernist (last year, a woman "pastor"gave a blessing to a lesbian couple f.i) I do not want to have anything to do with them
 
Last edited:
Athanasius93 said:
No, I was even discerning it while I was in the relationship but had not yet the “guts” to end the relationship. The thought of being a priest was present since my conversion but I didn’t take action right away.
Click to expand...
Alright, so the discernment portion has been on the table for awhile then. I would guess then the only real “objection” people may have is the timeframe between ending the relationship and the present day.
Athanasius93 said:
And yes, I will talk with the ICRSS and the FSSP but not with my diocese, they are awfully modernist (last year, a woman "pastor"gave a blessing to a lesbian couple f.i) I do not want to have anything to do with them
Click to expand...
If you’re not comfortable with your diocese’s formation and vocation programs, that’s fine. Speak to a couple of other vocation directors and pick their brains. I mean, if they say “drop by and stay for awhile”, excellent! If they say “not right now”, ask them for concrete steps on how you can prepare yourself for this vocation - especially if they say “you could use more time after your previous relationship, so wait a bit”. I would also circle back and ask the rector of the SSPX seminary for his advice on what concrete actions you can take - do not settle for “you were in an unchaste relationship” as being the only answer to your inquiries, unless he provides additional context like the years removed thing.

Lean on your spiritual director during this time. Ask him for prayers of course, but especially guidance. I certainly do with mine, and as someone starting as a spiritual director, I find that when it comes to vocation stuff I want to provide concrete suggestions - even if it’s logistical ones.
 
Last edited:
You can try other seminaries. My spiritual director actually applied to a number of diocese over several years and was rejected because he was older and had been married, annulled, and had adult children. That doesn’t mean that those diocese were wrong to reject him, but rather that he and those diocese weren’t a good fit. He eventually found a diocese that was a good fit and was eventually ordained. Being rejected is not an automatic bar though you might have questions on why you were rejected.

It might also be the case that you may need to wait a little longer to put more time behind you and the relationship. I know that many places regularly ask men to defer entering formation for several years after terminating a significant relationship. Part of that is to make sure that the desire to enter formation is not driven by a misplaced desire to “fill a hole”.
 
The only unmovable obstacle in Catholic circles I know about is abortion, and maybe SSA
 
First of all, take advice from those in full communion with the Catholic Church, not from the SSPX. You may have a fidelity problem, and it is not just sexual fidelity.
 
If you are committed to being chaste now and want to dedicate your life to God, nobody can stop you
 
Athanasius93 said:
but not with my diocese, they are awfully modernist (last year, a woman "pastor"gave a blessing to a lesbian couple
Click to expand...
??? 😦

simply make an appointment with the Talk to an FSSP or ICRSS vocations directors
 
Last edited:
I will be going this Sunday to the ICRSS for Mass and afterwards I’ll try to talk with the canon
 
I will note again. The “America Catholic Church”, is not a part of the Catholic Church, and do not follow nor obey the pope. They have “ordained” women priests and bishops. They are part of the Old Catholics who rejected Vatican 1.

Buyer beware.

Blessings,
Stephie
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top