Priests and confusing the congregation

[Lady_Love]

I have been getting really irritated lately. I have three/four different priests in my parish and they all are so different. One has it out for the traditionalists, doesn’t seem to believe in demons, and scoffed at the “Dark Night of the Soul” by St. John of the Cross. One priest, when I brought to his attention that a girl I went to CCD classes with complained that she never learned her faith (which I am in total agreement. I never even heard about the Eucharist) , he jumped down my throat and left me in tears. I figured he might want to know that kind of information so he could address it. One priest told me it would be o.k. for me to receive communion when I shouldn’t have been. Then another priest told me I shouldn’t be receiving communion. When I was younger Jesus revealed Himself to me in the Eucharist and I fell to my knees when I went to receive communion. The priest refused to give me communion on my knees and made a bit of a scene. One priest recommended a book that I felt was rather critical of the magisterium and full of spiritual pride. (Some of these things happened years ago but still relevant to today). Another priest seems to be enthusiastic about the Catholic Church but he is leaving soon. The priests make snide remarks about each other’s charisms.

I wish the priest would get on the same page and have some consistency in what they are preaching and teaching because one will say one thing and another will negate it the next week. I adhere and try to live my faith but if I run into a problem I don’t dare to go to a priest because I don’t want to be confused. Isn’t this sad?

I feel that I need to make some changes in my spiritual life and I am rather fragile and frightened. I need a priest who I can talk to, who can guide me but I just don’t trust them. I feel things, experience things, know some things and when I talk about them they look at me like I have two heads. I need to know how to deal with these things and hold them in the right perspective. Come on! I feel abandoned!

 

[cavaleriesoldaa]

Do you have any other parishes nearby that you could try out?

 

[Ontheway]

Dear Lady Love,

I pray for you and prayer migh be the right place for you now(?) Pray and trust your insticts. It sounds like some of your priests may not be able to meet your current needs.
Reading is another way to seek answers. There are too many books to recommend.
I am currently reading St. Augustine’s Confessions.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

First of all, how old are you? Have you attended Parochial School? This is important, because if you are very young, or not properly catechized, you easily could be misconstruing what these priests are saying. You must belong to a rather large parish to have that many priests available.
I would strongly suggest that you make an appointment with your Pastor and discuss these issues with him. He is the only one who can help you in matters of this kind, because he, along with your local Bishop is responsible for promulgating orthodox teaching of our faith. The advice to seek another parish is erroneous, because if there is a problem such as you say, others in your parish will also be confused in their faith. Do not be afraid to talk with your Pastor…It is his job to handle matters such as this, regardless of your age or position.
Discussions of this nature on any internet site will not help you and possibly will further confound you. In addition, they can cause scandal among those who do not share our faith.

 

[faithinelohim]

yes hello my name is Robert Eugene Davis J.r i was born in America. My father is Lutheran and my Mother is a creole(catholic). I invented a couple programs and a device. There are three. Possibly for the moslems catholics and jews. For the Moslems i call it Game time. It’s hand held and networks all college sports to your device for viewing, messaging, and listening; music and announcments and game relays. The second is for catholics it is called Olympia Pad, it’s for viewing messaging and listening music and announcments. I know that the olympics only happen every four years but hopefully we can keep up with them in between the olympics. Third is for jews it is called sports media pedia. It is for viewing messaging and listening music announcments and game relays for proffesional sports. Football baseball basketball tennis golf hockey skatebording snowboarding ect. I know that it is a lot of money but you know it will all go to the right place. I would like to contact the Pope, President,queen,and emporer but i do not know how. Pray for this and if you know anyone in the field to help design and build this for me i have some ideas. God bless and let me know what you think

 

[Lady_Love]

Oh my! Do you think I have created scandal by this post? That would be awful.

I hope that anyone reading this post would learn what I have learned. “That I am a Catholic because of the Eucharist and not because of a priests good or bad behavior.”

I am a very committed Catholic and I am just concerned that many who are more “fragile” than me might end up being turned off and walk away. I know so many who have left already. Maybe it’s not my problem to solve? (which is the kind of questions I have been seeking guidance on). Maybe I should leave these things in God’s hands?

To answer a few of your questions: I am a parish of seven churches. I am middle-aged and I am not a new Catholic. I’ve been practicing with personal conviction for twenty years.

 

[itullian]

Oh my! Do you think I have created scandal by this post? That would be awful.

I hope that anyone reading this post would learn what I have learned. “That I am a Catholic because of the Eucharist and not because of a priests good or bad behavior.”

I am a very committed Catholic and I am just concerned that many who are more “fragile” than me might end up being turned off and walk away. I know so many who have left already. Maybe it’s not my problem to solve? (which is the kind of questions I have been seeking guidance on). Maybe I should leave these things in God’s hands?

To answer a few of your questions: I am a parish of seven churches. I am middle-aged and I am not a new Catholic. I’ve been practicing with personal conviction for twenty years.

the problem isn’t with you LL. its with the church and its priests. i’ve experienced this too and when i can try to resolve things my own self.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

Oh my! Do you think I have created scandal by this post? That would be awful.

I hope that anyone reading this post would learn what I have learned. “That I am a Catholic because of the Eucharist and not because of a priests good or bad behavior.”

I am a very committed Catholic and I am just concerned that many who are more “fragile” than me might end up being turned off and walk away. I know so many who have left already. Maybe it’s not my problem to solve? (which is the kind of questions I have been seeking guidance on). Maybe I should leave these things in God’s hands?
To answer a few of your questions: I am a parish of seven churches. I am middle-aged and I am not a new Catholic. I’ve been practicing with personal conviction for twenty years.

How on earth can a person be a parish of seven churches? I thought a parish was one church for a given geographical area. Is this something new, or just a mis-print?

 

[Rebelecka]

A parish with 7 churches is not uncommon in rural areas. I’m amazed that there are 4 priests, though. We have a number of priests who are responsible for 3 to 5 churches (maybe more in some places) in New Mexico. BTW, we are one of the 50 states of the USA.

 

[Lady_Love]

I’m amazed that there are 4 priests, though. We have a number of priests who are responsible for 3 to 5 churches.

One of the priests is retired and another is semi-retired. There are only two full time priests.

 

[Lady_Love]

How on earth can a person be a parish of seven churches? I thought a parish was one church for a given geographical area. Is this something new, or just a mis-print?

We have seven individual churches that have all been put under the same administration. When merging, the churches kept their individual names, but were all clustered under one administration and giving the cluster a parish name separate from the churches.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

This was brought up at one of my OCDS meetings, many years ago. The Spiritual Assistant quoted St Teresa of Avila to address how we should react to such things.

“In times of crisis, we need to be better Catholics.”

To me, this means, being Christ Centered, and learning to be humble through it all.

Everyone, including priests, are at different levels of spiritual growth. Being such, there will be those who are disconnected from what we express in the spiritual sense, and others who will connect with us completely.

In all cases, be patient and accept the insults with Christ like humility.

Jim

 

[wcknight]

Just shows you how much diversity there is even among priests… you would think some fundamental basics would be the same…

Kneeling before receiving Communion is a bit unusual - done long ago BUT still in Europe - I think it is more reverent but here it is frowned upon and discouraged as you found out the hard way… they might have thought you were trying to be overtly pious and showing off.

Priests should be more compassionate but sometimes you catch them on a bad day or they may not be as ‘traditional’ as you might wish.They may be skeptical about why you are bringing these things up. Critiquing their RCIA progam could have struck a senstive topic. No one wants to be told that their training for new comers in the faith is not up to par.

But as others have suggestted you may want to find a parish with priests more to your liking. Or maybe it’s just a misunderstanding between how you view things and how these other priests see things.

 

[Lady_Love]

Thank you for your posts. I do love my priests and I respect and appreciate all that they sacrifice to be one. I don’t mean to be hard on them. I know that most of them are over-worked.

I am concerned about the CCD especially. But having said that, they just took on a new woman to direct the formation for my church. She is a wonderful and well educated Catholic. She is passionate, gentle, kind, and loves Jesus in the Eucharist. Things may be turning around!

 

[cavaleriesoldaa]

Try this; find as many other like-minded laity as you can, and form a Rosary “circle.” Pray for intervention on the matter on a daily basis. The power of your group may very well be your answer. Remember, the beauty of the one true Church is that we truly have the Holy Spirit within us. Christ can hear us, “loud and clear” through the muddle of prayers since we are in his church.

 

[aicirt]

First of all, how old are you? Have you attended Parochial School? This is important, because if you are very young, or not properly catechized, you easily could be misconstruing what these priests are saying. You must belong to a rather large parish to have that many priests available.
I would strongly suggest that you make an appointment with your Pastor and discuss these issues with him. He is the only one who can help you in matters of this kind, because he, along with your local Bishop is responsible for promulgating orthodox teaching of our faith. The advice to seek another parish is erroneous, because if there is a problem such as you say, others in your parish will also be confused in their faith. Do not be afraid to talk with your Pastor…It is his job to handle matters such as this, regardless of your age or position.
Discussions of this nature on any internet site will not help you and possibly will further confound you. In addition, they can cause scandal among those who do not share our faith.

I believe discussions here are warranted because the OP needs to know she’s not alone in what she has heard or observed. As far as scandal goes, well, that’s true. My concern is when priests state things that are incorrect where possible converts hear them and wonder what’s going on.

I did attend parochial school and got a good base for my religion. The priest in question is the pastor. I’ve been told by others with the same concerns that the bishop is aware. I’ve patiently sat for ten years and after the last “What did he say?”, I’m off to a new parish.

 

[anruari]

The topic of Kneeling for Holy Communion is a particularly poignant topic in the USA.

Some years ago the USCCB stated that the “Norm in the USA is for communicants to receive standing.”

The General Instruction in the new Missal has drawn a very clear line in the sand. It has made it clear that it is FORBIDDEN for a priest to refuse to give communion to a communicant who wishes to kneel. and the new wording for the USA is:
“the Norm in the USA is for communicants to receive standing - unless they choose to kneel”

This is an issue which has affected many other Americans.
I personally prefer to receive on the Tongue: Kneeling. If I am receiving in a line of communicants in a more modern setting I will genuflect while the communicant in front of me receives the Body of Christ.
Some Priests and many EMHC’s dislike or have difficulty with giving Communion on the Tongue. My P.P. finds it difficult to keep his hands hygienic (it’s hard not to touch your fingers to the tongue or lips of the communicant - especially if they don’t put their tongue out far enough.)
For this reason, If I am receiving Holy Communion in a parish where everyone appears to be receiving on the hand, I will consider doing the same or be careful to make things as easy as possible for the priest (if I can avoid the EHMCS - which I now try to do as my wife does not like to receive from them if it is possible).

On the Other topics: There will be one Parish Priest. He is responsible for all the others. He is responsible for the spiritual welfare of the whole parish.
You need to ask him for an appointment. You need to carefully and prayerfully write down your concerns in advance of the appointment, and discuss them with him. - if possible you may benefit from checking up on the specific teachings of the Church from Vatican Documents on areas of theology, morals or discipline in advance. but raise them with the priest in a humble manner.

Pointing out that you are seeking to live a faithful, devout life, but have a number of struggles, ask him for advice on a suitable Spiritual Director who you can work with for a time. He may do this himself, or he may recommend you to another more suitable priest or religious.
You have heard contradicting advice from a number of the priests working with him. this gives valid reason for you to feel hurt and confused.However try to be carefull not to be seen to be judgemental or critical of the priests.
They are Human too. They can also be in error: either through honest mistake, poor education or various other reasons.
Other times some priests will teach a very Hard-Line approach on a topic, while other take a more careful pastoral approach, softening but not eliminating the message. this can be misinterpreted.

I myself on one occasion went to one priest as I was confused about the Doctrine of the Immaculate Conception. I had struggled with this for years, and had come to realise that as this doctrine was defined as infallible I could not continue to reject the teaching, but I couldn’t understand it.
I assume the Priest I spoke to misunderstood my intentions in how I approached him, but instead of trying to explain the doctrine to me, and it’s theological background, he told me that if I didn’t believe it I wasn’t a Catholic and I was not to approach him for Holy Communion.

This is an example of being Hard-Line. If a person is in Heresy and refuses to recant they cease to be in Communion with the Church. I assume the Priest misunderstood my manner of speaking (I believe I stated “I cannot understand the necessity for this doctrine, or its biblical origin, therefore I cant believe it” - however my intention was to ask him to explain it to me. He simply shut me down and walked away. - and no he was not busy.

This hurt me deeply. I was honestly trying to find the answers to this question. I was reaching the point where I could accept Papal Infalibility at that time. I properly accepted the infallibility of the church very shortly after that time, but It was almost 10 years later when someone finally was able to explain this doctrine to me in a manner that enabled me to not just accept that because the doctrine is stated to be infallible I must accept it, but to understand where it comes from and why it’s important.
(Thanks to Steve Ray on CatholicConvert.com who I saw at a big event one year ago)

Your story is one I see as being a typical symptom of the modern day state of the Church where Catechises - especially among adult cradle Catholics - is so painfully poor.
-However the true teachings of the Church are published by the Vatican and in that format are free for everyone to access and read.