Priests and Physical Intimacy

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Many persons have a need for physical intimacy. If not necessarily sexual, at least very personal, loving and affectionate. But it seems that priests are much less able to have this need fulfilled. Most are celibate, and they cannot marry. If their parents are deceased or unloving, how are they to receive the loving affection they need? Priests may receive kind words and hearty, friendly embraces from parishoners and friends, but it just seems that there is nobody to comfort them physically, psychologically and emotionally, a true heart to heart bonding. Ok, yes, I know: God will provide. Yet, I would not be surprised if many priests suffer from psychological disorders due to not receiving the affection they personally need.

What do you think?
 
2nd Corinthians 12:9:
My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.
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It is a potential weakness, maybe. Priests can get lonely. But grace is enough.

JD
 
All being celibate means is that one does not get married.

As a religious, when I make my vows (God Willing) I will make the Vow of Chastity. A secular priest also makes a promise of Chastity. Now how is that lived out?

It is lived out the same way that everyone else lives it out. We are all called to be chaste in our station of life. If that is being single then no sex.

Now, yes, a person who is not a religious or secular priest may have a more close physically intimate relationship (kissing, hand holding and such) but people do not have those sorts of relationships all the time.

We can have very intimate relationships with out getting physical. There is nothing wrong being comforted psychologically and emotionally. I do not see why you think that is impossible. Even comforted physically to a point that does not get sexual in nature.
 
Johndigger said:
It is a potential weakness, maybe. Priests can get lonely. But grace is enough.

JD
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In a discussion given by a Catholic couple who had allowed their marriage to whither for years, acting like roommates and not talking, they pointed out married people can get lonely.

The happiest priests I know, are far too busy to get lonely.
 
Madaglan said:
Yet, I would not be surprised if many priests suffer from psychological disorders due to not receiving the affection they personally need.

What do you think?
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Look at the great Persons throughout the ages who were celebate or lived their lives without physical intimacy:

the Virgin Mary,
St. Paul
St. Jerome
St. Basil
St. Gregory the Great
St. Padre Pio
St. Catherine of Sienna
St. Francis of Asissi
John Paul II
Mother Teresa
Our Lord Jesus Christ when on Earth
There are literally thousands more.

Given the fact that married people can be without real affection, and the overwhelming number of religious who did not require a physical partner to aid them in their journey through life, I would deduce that in general, celebate people are happier. If someone were psychologically depraved because of celebacy, then it was probably because they were not called to be celebate.
 
Yeah, I’m not saying that physical intimacy is not to be found in even marriages. Busy people are lonely, too. They could still become lonely.
Originally Posted by Pious Mat:

Given the fact that married people can be without real affection, and the overwhelming number of religious who did not require a physical partner to aid them in their journey through life, I would deduce that in general, celebate people are happier. If someone were psychologically depraved because of celebacy, then it was probably because they were not called to be celebate.
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How many of the religious are really called to celibacy? All of them, or only those who are especially called to it?
Look at the great Persons throughout the ages who were celebate or lived their lives without physical intimacy:

the Virgin Mary,
St. Paul
St. Jerome
St. Basil
St. Gregory the Great
St. Padre Pio
St. Catherine of Sienna
St. Francis of Asissi
John Paul II
Mother Teresa
Our Lord Jesus Christ when on Earth
There are literally thousands more.
Click to expand...
A lot of saints ate only bread and water. This does not mean all priests are to or should only eat bread and water. Some lived on the Holy Eucharist alone. Most priests today have a more substantial diet. Seek the Bread of Heaven but you got to eat regular bread, too, lest you become overly weak and sickly! It’s not what goes into the mouth that makes one sinful, but what comes out of the mouth and from the heart. 🙂
 
I didn’t think the poster was talking about physcial intimacy like sex, he meant just intimacy, knowing someone cares about you , a hug, a smile, and that’s not easily discarded. John Paul ll, Mother Thersa, for example, were celibate, holy, very God loving, reverent Catholics, but they ate and dined with others, shared many laughs, hugs, both got a lot of alcolades, even if they didn’t want them, not the best examples. If anything, they wanted to be alone more!! Even Jesus had many that loved him and felt even closer to some. I think friendship is healthy and most priests encourage it.
I think it is a valid point, many priests have said they turned to alcohol for comfort, because they were so lonely. It’s a personal thing…for some a “community” is better than a parish where today they might be alone or not have families that “adopt” them as they did when I was a kid. EVERYONE wanted the priest over, not so much today. The Dominican’s near me might not always get along, but they have 3 priests at my church always there, they have about 10 living with them, they have visiting priests that come from other parts of the country, retired priests, a convent with nuns nearby and many friendships are formed.
An old parish priest I know, said in the 70’-80’s, in was easy to meet up with other priests for bowling, lunch, etc. but now everyone is so busy, talking care of 2 parishes or more. That doesn’t mean you don’t want affection, that’s part of our nature, but staying close to God in prayer and trying to keep some friends close help.
 
I hugged my priest few times already! 😉

It all depends on the intentions, setting and cicumstances but priests are just people and nothing holds them from having close friends.
 
i’ve always wondered if it was okay to hug a priest. not that i would, but you know how things are these days… i was assisting in a class at a catholic school and they taught us to not comment on a childs haircut or clothes or hug them or hold their hand or anything! so i just always kinda wondered if priests have the same types of rules.
 
I hope they aren’t too strict. I know if you are ALONE, no touching is allowed, especially with children, but if you are with a group, I’m sure a quick hug or handshake is fine. When I have met with a priest alone, one didn’t even shake my hand when I left, felt a little odd, the other, I knew from years before and he was very demonstrative and gave me a big hug and told me to call/write him again. I would also think that some of it is personality, when they became a priest and where they were taught.

Sometimes jealousy makes people say things and that isn’t right either…I knew a dapper priest years ago, just retired now, that the women (and men) loved. If he talked a bit too long with anyone, took a walk at a picnic, rumors started. He ignored them because he knew he wasn’t causing “scandal” as much as just making some people jealous because they couldn’t hog all his time. I guess his patience won out, because he went on for many years as a priest until his eyes got too bad. I can see being careful but walking on eggs all the time is silly too. You are human.
 
I hug my Spiritual Director all the time, he’s African, so it’s a pretty standard greeting. He’s a Cupuchin Franciscan and the holiest man I’ve ever met. He truly is my Father.

I’ve never felt uncomfortable around him, at all. There is legitimate cause for concern, at times, but I think, to some extent, we actually fuel some of the sex-abuse phobia by being so stand-offish with our Priests.

JD
 
chsngtailodogma said:
i’ve always wondered if it was okay to hug a priest. not that i would, but you know how things are these days… i was assisting in a class at a catholic school and they taught us to not comment on a childs haircut or clothes or hug them or hold their hand or anything! so i just always kinda wondered if priests have the same types of rules.
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Well, since I don’t live in the US I don’t have to be concerned with the trully wierd rules you get as schools in America.

So, there is nothing wrong with hugging. There is nothing sexual about it. You hug your paretns, your children and your close friends.
 
The priest who both teaches and ministers at my alma mater is an awesome guy. He owns a dog who he frequently brought (and I assume still brings) in, and the sign on his door said “Welcome! Come in and see us guys!” so whenever you wandered in, you could chat or pet the dog or just relax and ask him questions or voice concerns. He always greeted students and staff alike with a warm hello, a big smile, a handshake, and if he knew you, a big hug. There’s NOTHING wrong with priests doing that, and I really hope that our priests DO get emotional encouragement and the occasional hug now and again! We’re all human and we all need hugs. 🙂
 
Madaglan said:
Many persons have a need for physical intimacy. If not necessarily sexual, at least very personal, loving and affectionate. But it seems that priests are much less able to have this need fulfilled. Most are celibate, and they cannot marry. If their parents are deceased or unloving, how are they to receive the loving affection they need? Priests may receive kind words and hearty, friendly embraces from parishoners and friends, but it just seems that there is nobody to comfort them physically, psychologically and emotionally, a true heart to heart bonding. Ok, yes, I know: God will provide. Yet, I would not be surprised if many priests suffer from psychological disorders due to not receiving the affection they personally need.

What do you think?
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They’ve got God. What more does anyone need? I wish I was as fortunate.
 
THere is also to keep in mind the degree of satisfaction. If a Preist, who has more than likely taken a vow of celebacy and lives “alone,” so to speak, is able to receive a hug from a parishoner… wouldn’t he be able to appreciate the hug more than, perhaps, a husband and wife that hug each other several times each day?

Its like having time off from work. Its not everyday you can take a break, but when you get a vacation, you really appreciate the time off more.

In the end, He might receive the same amount of affection. Only most people receive it it tinyer doses and short increment, where as a Priest may receive large doses spread over time.
 
That’s why we have to pray for our priests, show them that we really care. It can not be something negative that may be considered as “seduction” in whatever culture it may be. And keep on believing, that they know their business very well. Accountants or lawyers have certain ethical standards of professionalism. I believe that priests do have certain ethical standards, and they are happy with them. I am not a priest, so you should ask to one for sure.
 
The priests I know keep close to their families, and many come from large families. They also have a network of priests, a “support group” so to speak, of priest friends that they are close to. They may also become friends with certain parishoner families that they feel comfortable with.

The priest at my parish is close to a family from his previous parish that he vacations with every year.

It is these relationships that give them the intimacy that they need. Also, as a previous poster said, many priests are so busy that they don’t have time to feel lonely. And most priests feel very fulfilled and happy.
 
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