Priests are happy without wives

[John_Higgins]

Rev. Andrew M. Greeley
Chicago Sun-Times

I never have been able to understand lay folk who are obsessed with the abolition of celibacy. It may well be an appropriate modification of the church in a time when most American young men do not find the priesthood an attractive way to spend their life. However, a cursory reading of the research literature on the personal and professional satisfaction among the clergy and reports from the spouses and children of Protestant (and Greek Orthodox and rabbinic) clergy indicates that family relations are an enormous problem for many of them. In addition to the usual problems of spouse and children to which all humans must respond, married clergy are subjected to pressures from their parishioners (who often assume that the spouse is an unpaid member of the parish team) and ecclesiastical authority who often assume that ministerial families must be like Caesar’s wife – beyond reproach in every way.

Those crusading Catholic lay leaders, far from making life easier for their parish priest by permitting them to have spouses, might consider the possibility that they would make the priest’s life even more difficult than it is.

Survey data gathered at the National Opinion Research Center in its biennial General Social Survey indicate that clergy score higher on measures of personal and professional satisfaction than any other professional group. While there are problems for the professional cleric (not enough money to raise an upper-middle-class family, complete with a couple of cars and college education for all offspring), there are rewards and satisfactions that seem on balance to be better than in any other profession.

Moreover, another NORC project found that Catholic priests had higher scores on measures of personal and professional satisfaction. They are in fact (despite the grumpy and grouchy ones you sometimes encounter) on the average the happiest men in America. Priests don’t want to admit this because it deprives them of their self-pity. Nothing is more satisfying than feeling sorry for yourself, whether you be a doctor, lawyer, cop, accountant or priest.

I see by the papers that priests in Milwaukee are sending a delegation to meet with their archbishop about the terrible state of their morale. Their plight may be worse than the average American priest’s (as recorded in our surveys), but I kind of doubt it. We live in a vale of tears where things routinely go wrong and bad things often happen. There is no immunity from aggravations and heartache in life. Otherwise, why would so many priests seem to think that a wife would solve all their problems?

The myth of a “morale problem” and the shame of the sexual abuse crisis probably explain why so many priests do not recruit young men to walk in their footsteps. The “vocation crisis” may well be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-pity does not attract others to walk your path. Most priests are happy in their work. It is time that they reveal this dirty little secret.

Greeley article

For those who seem to think Father Greeley is “over the top” on everything.

John

 

[awalt]

Fr. James Martin, SSJ, once said “What is the issue with people thinking priestly celibacy is so difficult? We just have to abstain from relationships with 1 less person than everyone else”.

 

[Joannm]

Today in the office three of us were having a discussion of the problems we are having with our now young adult children. One of the priests was in the office, but we didn’t think he was listening. He turned around from his computer and said, “score another good reason for celibacy!” and continued working on the his computer.

 

[CollegeKid]

Overall I think its a valuable contribution on Greeley’s part, which is unusual because normally I disagree with just about everything I see him publish. That being said, I take issue with his broad characterization of priests as awash in self-pity. While I can certainly understand that in living the celibate life there would be that temptation to feeling sorry for one’s self, I wish Greeley would point out that among many younger and recently-ordained priests in America, none or very little of this defect of character is present. Maybe he doesn’t see it the way I do, but I can honestly say that none of the recently-ordained priests I’ve met project an ounce of self-pity. Rather, they tend to radiate satisfaction and happiness with their state of life.

 

[Cloisters]

What about Pastoral Provision priests’ wives?

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[Pious_Mat]

First, the pastoral privlege is an exception to the rule. Those who live under the pastoral privlege know they are not the norm, and typically are not people who attack celibacy.

That said, celibacy is not necessary for the priesthood anymore than conditioner is necessary for your hair. However, if you want really good hair, you use conditioner, and if you want really holy priests, you look for the men who are willing to sacrifice everything, even a family, for God. Again, however, some people who don’t use conditioner still have good hair, there are some really holy people out there who aren’t celibate.

Also, although I think that Greeley makes some good points, I’m tired of people focusing on the benefits of celibacy through absence–of a wife, children, family responsiblities, etc., as shunning responsbility is not conducive to holiness. Better to focus on the added benefits and graces. Celibacy is essentially an other-wordly state of being, something accomplished only by grace of God. If we see it as a purely practical arrangement, we rob it of its real meaning.

 

[chicago]

Overall I think its a valuable contribution on Greeley’s part, which is unusual because normally I disagree with just about everything I see him publish. That being said, I take issue with his broad characterization of priests as awash in self-pity. While I can certainly understand that in living the celibate life there would be that temptation to feeling sorry for one’s self, I wish Greeley would point out that among many younger and recently-ordained priests in America, none or very little of this defect of character is present. Maybe he doesn’t see it the way I do, but I can honestly say that none of the recently-ordained priests I’ve met project an ounce of self-pity. Rather, they tend to radiate satisfaction and happiness with their state of life.

Beginners’ zeal… Give 'em a few years hardship and they’ll catch up!

 

[Fitz]

Greeley article

For those who seem to think Father Greeley is “over the top” on everything.

John

I have heard Fr. Greeley speak on this issue before. It is an area in which he is conservative. It may be the only area, come to think of it. I agree with his view on celebacy within the church.

Actually the parish I used to live in when I lived in the city of Chicago was one that had relatives of Fr. Greeley. He often said mass at my parish. He gives some very good sermons. One Father’s Day he was the celbrant at our mass and he gave one of the best homilies I have heard.

Yet, I do not like most of his political views.

 

[MarcoPolo]

Quoting Father Greeley: I never have been able to understand lay folk who are obsessed with the abolition of celibacy.

Father Greeley, it is a maneuver by the devil to weaken the priesthood since celibacy is the superior pedigree for Church leaders. Just ask Jesus or Paul.

 

[Michael_Saint]

Actually, Andrew Greeley is on the mark with regards to the Tridentine Mass co-existing with the Novus Ordo as well.

Anyway, I digress. My best friend, a seminarian, and I have had long talks about the issue of marriage, and we are both in agreement - it’s a tough, tough life, and I would say celibacy is most probably an easier road. But young people, single people, have it in their heads that marriage will be the solution to all their problems, and will be the thing that will provide them with the happiness they seek. As Christopher West says, don’t hang your hat on a hook that can’t bear the weight! The fact is, Charles Ingalls, on “Little House on the Prairie”, said it best when saying to Laura one day: “Young people who have fallen in love think marriage is all bright lights and starry skies, but it’s not like that”.

Anyway, off on a tangent I go again. Fr. Thomas Dubay wrote that in the many, many retreats he has given over the years - to every conceivable group in (and outside) the Church, the people he says are the most joyful are the contemplative nuns. Why? Because they are living life in the very way they were created for - to know, love, and serve God in this life, so as to be happy with him forever in the next. He says they radiate a joy unlike any other group he has ever seen.

The fact is: Celibacy is the source of great joy, and St. Paul is right on the money when he says a married man is “divided”. Marriage is a very difficult thing for a very spiritual man - unless his wife is equally spiritual.

 

[Norseman82]

One thing that also bears noting is that celibacy is one of the issues that is dealt with during the discernment process, so obviously if one is discovered to not be able to handle celibacy he probably would not be ordained in the first place.