Priests & Deacons: Would you wear black vestments for funerals if asked by the family?

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Thanks for the link. It’s interesting that of the four Funeral Palls on the site, that three of them are black. My parish actually has two sets of black chasubles and two sets of black dalmatics (actually a dalmatic and a tunicle - had to add a separate deacon’s stole for that one). but we only have a white pall.

If you are really looking to donate vestments for funerals, you might also want to consider a black pall since they seem to be rare now a days.
 
If I am ever again in the position of NOK who is in charge of funeral arrangements, I will request black or violet. I will make a donation for the purchase if need be. I had never thought of it before, simply thought white was the color to use, but when we had a young immediate family member die, during the funeral, it struck me out of the blue. It was a beautiful funeral mass in every way except the white vestments. It seemed nothing short of the church not being in solidarity with a family in extreme grief.
I realize no one asks, but that is because no one is told there is an option. When sitting down with the pastor before hand and selecting readings and hymns, vestment color never was mentioned. If it had been, I would not have requested something besides white. Count me as one who has come to view the exclusive use of white funeral vestments as the worse of the liturgical reforms.
 
Maximilian75 said:
I’m sure that, unless in a very low-church/liberal parish, if a parishioner purchased black vestments for a funeral of themselves or a relative, the priest would be more than happy to oblige.
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No, I think a conservative priest could say he wants to stick with white because of the degree to which the liturgy refers to the baptismal hope of the deceased or that he’s willing to wear purple but does not need black vestments. At any rate, I don’t think that reserving the decision about what color vestments are appropriate for a particular Mass would make a priest conservative or liberal. It only means he has his own opinions and selects his own vestments based on that.
(What is a “low” church? I thought that was an Anglican thing…)
 
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Deacon, white may not be the norm based off the GIRM, but my experience is that it is the defacto norm for at least the last 30 years. That’s why I qualified my statement with the word exclusive, because it is exclusively used and from my experience, violet does not even seem to be considered.
And I said nothing about Vatican II. Most liturgical reforms came after Vatican II.

Thanks for the detailed information and response.
 
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It all depends upon the diocese. The GIRM for the US says that black ‘may’ be used. This is not automatic dispensation, just giving the possibility. The Bishop has the final say for what is allowed in his diocese. For example, my Order are in two diocese in the US. One allows the option of wearing black vestments by all the priests and one only allows black vestments where it has been the established traditional norm in that parish.

I never actually saw purple or black used in funerals until I went to New Jersey for seminary. It was always white in the cities I had lived in (or a grey so light it could almost be called a shade of white in one parish).
 
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Yes, you are correct, we do. Around here it always seems to be white, I was wrong in assuming that was the defacto norm.
 
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Maybe priests should be able to wear what they want and not feel pressured by mourners giving him black vestments.
In fact before gifting vestments one should check with someone close to the priest or deacon,as a rule,unless you want them put at the back of the closet to be pulled out once or twice a year.
Priests do complain to friends that they feel pressured to wear gifted vestments they do not like.
 
If the GIRM provides options, I certainly feel the priest is the person who should decide. I just don’t like that they choose white Everytime, and as I said, if it happens again that I am in charge of a family member’s funeral arrangements, I will requestst violet or black. Most priests will consult with the family on other options, eg readings. Even though it is the priest’s decision. Why no vestments als0?
 
OldCAFMember said:
It’s interesting to see cost cited as a reason against wearing them, when some very lively vestment sets are available on eBay for a third of what they would cost from a church supply company.
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you can also buy “icons” online inexpensively from an organization whose name says that it is an Orthodox monastery–but is actually a Hindu cult (although it went through a pseudo-orthodox phase a couple of decades ago). Looking the same stylistically doesn’t make them into icons (which are actually prayers, not paintings!).

Unfortunately, many EC and EO gift shops over from them without realizing what they are!

I’d be suspicious of say, inexpensive “Boston Benedictine” vestments . . .

hawk
 
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I have only seen white used in my area unless it was black at an FSSP parish.

I take that back… I’ve also seen a priest that used to used a pale green pall and chasuble only for funerals because “in death we enter into new life.” (seriously not kidding about the green pall) He used the specific color because it reminded him of new spring grass.
 
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OldCAFMember said:
It’s interesting to see cost cited as a reason against wearing them…
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One other argument that I always think falls flat is the “why buy vestments that are only used once or twice a year”. Many parishes (if not most in my area) buy rose vestments that are very specifically used on 2 Sundays per year. Black vestments can actually be worn more often than rose, but few people would balk at a parish buying rose vestments.

Personally I think for many people they see too much association with the Tridentine mass which required the use of black for all requiem masses (as well as parts of the Good Friday and Easter Vigil liturgies if I remember correctly).
 
Usige said:
Personally I think for many people they see too much association with the Tridentine mass which required the use of black for all requiem masses (as well as parts of the Good Friday and Easter Vigil liturgies if I remember correctly).
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I think the real issue is that too many people today want to pretend their loved ones are going straight to Heaven and skipping purgatory (if they even believe in purgatory)
 
Interesting. At all the funerals I’ve been to/ served, it has always been white. I wonder how this varies by parish/diocese.
 
phil19034 said:
I think the real issue is that too many people today want to pretend their loved ones are going straight to Heaven and skipping purgatory (if they even believe in purgatory)
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My pastor and I had a discussion several years ago along the same line. He was bemoaning how many people used funerals as mini-beatifications and how few people asked him to offer Mass for the repose of the souls of the deceased.

I said, “Well, if you think of it we use white for funerals, baptismal garments, and the feasts of saints so its not really surprising that people start to link white to a celebration of those who are washed clean and are in heaven.” That got him to start to wear violet for All Souls and then finally black the last couple years. The first year he wore black, he talked about why he wore white for All Saints and black for All Souls as a reminder that we need to pray for the dead.

He still uses white vestments and pall for funerals and talks about the white casket pall being like a baptismal garment, but he is open to using violet and black vestments if requested. Most people I think simply don’t even consider the color of vestments and wouldn’t even think of those as an option, but at least he doesn’t balk at the idea.
 
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