Priest's Opening Remarks -Poor Taste?

[Brassring]

I’ve said it before, it must be dreadful for our clergy to always be under a microscope.

Agreed. Also, how dreadful must it be to feel an obligation to constantly have your eye on that microscope, and to feel such outrage and turmoil over petty trivialities.

For crying out loud, take a fiber supplement and get on with your (YOUR!) business.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’m Post-Vat. II, II, and still think it is entirely inappropriate.

Indeed, our spiritual health is of prior importance ()

I’ll concede it wouldn’t have been my first pick for an opening remark, whether at Mass, a wedding, or Thanksgiving dinner, but that is part of why I am thinking maybe the priest was worried and his worry made his judgment slip.

Of course, if he’s making these jokes on a regular basis then that’s a different story.

 

[friardchips]

I’ve said it before, it must be dreadful for our clergy to always be under a microscope.

Well, isn’t the simple thing to do, to not put oneself under it in the first place.

The OP was speaking of a particular happening and not priest-bashing.

From having come onto the thread, the OP is now probably aware of how to respond, hopefully less aggrieved, and consoled that others can empathize, to some degree.

However, the moral-thought police are not the ones who feel this was a remark unsuitable for when Mass has begun, but those who don’t, who are judging the posters who do.

Typical reverse-judgment in action.

 

[Brassring]

Well, isn’t the simple thing to do, to not put oneself under it in the first place.

The OP was speaking of a particular happening and not priest-bashing.

From having come onto the thread, the OP is now probably aware of how to respond, hopefully less aggrieved, and consoled that others can empathize, to some degree.

However, the moral-thought police are not the ones who feel this was a remark unsuitable for when Mass has begun, but those who don’t, who are judging the posters who do.

Typical reverse-judgment in action.

Solomonson, is that you, you rascal?!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

It’s very inappropriate. But nothing to freak out over. I don’t understand why after Mass you couldnt just say “father, perhaps no joke like that next time before you start Mass”.

Priests are adults, and people. They are not beyond criticism or making errors in judgement.

Not everyone should make a big deal out of every little thing. But nuanced feedback can be constructive.

Many of us struggle to have a priest at all. Even a toilet humoured one would be welcome in some places.

 

[tafan]

It is inappropriate, and should just be ignored, unless it is a recurring problem. All of us, at times, have made an inappropriate remark. And sometimes, someone points it out to us. But if we were having to get up and talk in front of people on a daily basis, we should be given a great deal of slack for the occasional mistake.

No need to say anything at all.

 

[steve_b]

That would probably be my mom’s reaction. I tend to shrug it off, having grown up in the post Vatican-II era where a priest or nun was doing something the old folks considered wack every other week. ( I’m also not concerned as to whether my reaction is considered “appropriate” or not; I’m past the age of caring about moral thought police when it comes to Mass.)

Don’t mistake free will for license.

 

[Faith1960]

If this was the biggest thing in your day to be concerned about, give thanks to God for your peaceful life. While you’re at it, you can pray (a) that the priest’s health is OK since he was out having a medical check and (b) that he develops a less groanworthy sense of humor.

Seriously, I can see turning to your husband and saying “oh what a dreadful joke, reminds me of something your Uncle Pete would tell at Thanksgiving dinner” and then moving on with your day. I can’t see why a 30-second joke would merit a whole forum thread to gather others’ opinions. Seems incredibly petty like most of the threads about “the priest did this or that thing, what do you think?” I’m beginning to think there should be a whole forum just for people to carp about little things priests do.

It was inapproriate but funny at the same time. I agree with the posters who said to not report it.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Here is the gist of Father’s opening remarks at Mass on Sunday: Well everyone, I’m back - I had a colonoscopy on Friday. A lot of people may say that I’m less full of it than usual."

I thought this was very inappropriate and it definitely didn’t help me to get in the proper frame of mind for Mass. Thoughts, anyone?

I hope he said this remark before Mass started! My priest comes forward before they process in and will ask if there are any visitors and then asks where they are from. If the priest made the comment at this point, I would still say it was too much
information and not that funny a joke, but if he said it after making the sign of the cross -

 

[Monte_RCMS]

He was able to make a joke out of a scary major life-threatening event.

Thanks be to God that he has been returned to good health.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

However, the moral-thought police are not the ones who feel this was a remark unsuitable for when Mass has begun, but those who don’t, who are judging the posters who do.

Typical reverse-judgment in action.

In that case, then I guess “Judge not, lest ye be judged” was the ultimate “reverse-judgment in action”.

If someone was bothered by the priest’s joke, and went to him after Mass as another poster suggested and said “Please, no more such jokes” we would not be essentially being invited to judge either the priest or the OP or the entire situation.

On the other hand, putting the event on the public Internet for dozens of people to see and asking for all of our opinions is inviting judgment. We are being asked to judge and tell the OP what we think of the joke or the situation. We have the choice of simply not saying anything, or saying “I like pie” (which I considered doing), or giving an opinion that in most cases is going to be judgmental of either the priest or the OP, as it’s a bit hard to give an opinion that is perfectly diplomatic and non-judgmental in a situation where one person’s remark or behavior has disturbed another. So it’s a bit contradictory to on the one hand ask for people’s opinions and on the other hand say “no judging! (unless maybe you agree with the OP, then you’re somehow not judging, you’re just agreeing!)”

 

[DeniseNY]

Well, isn’t the simple thing to do, to not put oneself under it in the first place.

The OP was speaking of a particular happening and not priest-bashing.

From having come onto the thread, the OP is now probably aware of how to respond, hopefully less aggrieved, and consoled that others can empathize, to some degree.

However, the moral-thought police are not the ones who feel this was a remark unsuitable for when Mass has begun, but those who don’t, who are judging the posters who do.

Typical reverse-judgment in action.

Of course, but the degree to which we see clergy criticized here over the most minute things is troubling.

 

[friardchips]

Of course, but the degree to which we see clergy criticized here over the most minute things is troubling.

Agreeing with you, in that one ought to think twice before complaining about clergy, online, or at least, in the way one does, and certainly, when one eventually knows the right course of action, to make sure that a certain course of action is taken, instead of persisting with complaints.

It is difficult to assess one thread in this way unless one is heavily involved in posting over an amount of time enough so to witness a rising number of complaints ensuing.

I have found the same with other subject matters, sometimes, when having been posting a lot, the same topics keep coming up over and over to such a degree that one begins to question as to whether there isn’t a problem somewhere.

Maybe the overall issue here is that we have to take responsibility for our own faith as another poster somewhat obscurely put forward.

One has options:

Pray for the priest (doable).
Speak to the priest (ooer).
Report the priest (this is a bit much in most cases).
Change churches (this as well, I really think, should not be an immediate choice).

But unless one thinks of such options then one can feel great tension.

Of course, another option is, we should also pray for ourselves, so that we have the right inner disposition to see people and things around us as God desires us to see.

 

[friardchips]

In that case, then I guess “Judge not, lest ye be judged” was the ultimate “reverse-judgment in action”.

God is God. Not us.

And this isn’t what is meant by the term.

Reverse judgment often comes in the form of rebuke on threads as if the poster’s intentions are known from their post when it is that their post simply expresses externally a question that comes from neutral ground.

If someone was bothered by the priest’s joke, and went to him after Mass as another poster suggested and said “Please, no more such jokes” we would not be essentially being invited to judge either the priest or the OP or the entire situation.

On the other hand, putting the event on the public Internet for dozens of people to see and asking for all of our opinions is inviting judgment. We are being asked to judge and tell the OP what we think of the joke or the situation. We have the choice of simply not saying anything, or saying “I like pie” (which I considered doing), or giving an opinion that in most cases is going to be judgmental of either the priest or the OP, as it’s a bit hard to give an opinion that is perfectly diplomatic and non-judgmental in a situation where one person’s remark or behavior has disturbed another. So it’s a bit contradictory to on the one hand ask for people’s opinions and on the other hand say “no judging! (unless maybe you agree with the OP, then you’re somehow not judging, you’re just agreeing!)”

We can judge a situation but not the person’s soul. I can say that so and so did something that was bad and that this person is acting badly and therefore…da di da…but I cannot wrote this person off as beyond hope. That does not mean I have to like the person and it does not mean that I have to spend time around that person. But it does command that I have to love that person (presumably by trying not to hold anything against them, most likely will involve praying for them, to not speak uncharitably about them - gossip etc…and even, hope the best for them). And I think it is charitable to seek advice on how to deal with a situation and to check one’s own thoughts alongside others. One can tell a charitable and well-intentioned post most of the time from one that is judgmental from how it is phrased. If the OP named the priest and then started using language that expressed hatred then this would indicate an issue requiring the assistance of Houston to deal with.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I have the same feeling as DeniseNY about it. I also was thinking of the posts from the “Charismatic Postures” thread by the priest yesterday who was noting the amount of criticism over relatively minor stuff directed at priests and liturgy on here, and indicating that this is not productive and is a reason why many priests do not recommend this forum or post here.

At the same time, we have threads being concerned over the shortage of priests. I think that the 'being under a microscope" - which is now magnified because this stuff isn’t even getting discussed just by parishioners who were at the Mass in question, but it’s on the Internet being broadcast to a worldwide audience - would be enough to drive a lot of men away from the priesthood. So on a macro level, stuff like this is not just about one priest who told one misguided joke. It’s about the way people act towards the priests who they should be making an effort to be kind to and support. That doesn’t mean that no one should ever privately tell a priest they didn’t care for something he did or said, but that’s different from taking a poll on the Internet about it.

Perhaps the OP did not mean to be unkind to the priest, but I don’t think the criticism on this thread has been particularly unkind to her either. When I see threads like this, I always want to just say something else that my mother and probably a lot of other old time Catholics would have said: “Offer it up.” YMMV.

 

[friardchips]

I have the same feeling as DeniseNY about it. I also was thinking of the posts from the “Charismatic Postures” thread by the priest yesterday who was noting the amount of criticism over relatively minor stuff directed at priests and liturgy on here, and indicating that this is not productive and is a reason why many priests do not recommend this forum or post here.

Personally, I feel we are all here to serve God. We are all part of the Church and have a duty of care towards it.

At the same time, we have threads being concerned over the shortage of priests. I think that the 'being under a microscope" - which is now magnified because this stuff isn’t even getting discussed just by parishioners who were at the Mass in question, but it’s on the Internet being broadcast to a worldwide audience - would be enough to drive a lot of men away from the priesthood.

It won’t, if they really have vocations.

So on a macro level, stuff like this is not just about one priest who told one misguided joke.

In the case of taking this one thread as it stands, then, it is just about one thread. If one is putting it in line with other things happening, then yes, a wider picture becomes apparent. However, false statistics can be drawn from doing this, and as such, it is better to simply take each thread as it comes. There are times in which the same posters keep bringing up the same questions or keep repeating the same kind of responses in threads, which are questionable and can easily be perceived as a growing concern.

It’s about the way people act towards the priests who they should be making an effort to be kind to and support.

Yes, I agree. That goes both ways.

That doesn’t mean that no one should ever privately tell a priest they didn’t care for something he did or said, but that’s different from taking a poll on the Internet about it.

Perhaps the OP did not mean to be unkind to the priest, but I don’t think the criticism on this thread has been particularly unkind to her either. When I see threads like this, I always want to just say something else that my mother and probably a lot of other old time Catholics would have said: “Offer it up.” YMMV.

Yes, good response, but the point being made, is that unless the poster knows to do this, then are they going to.

 

[Wesrock]

I do not think it aids worship in the context of being said during mass and in fact can be detrimental to the sentiment…

But priests are human, and Christ works through them anyway, and allows them to act in his role. Love your priests, and be wary of airing dirty laundry about them online, to avoid scandal with other Catholics and non-Catholics.

 

[Marie5890]

I’ve said it before, it must be dreadful for our clergy to always be under a microscope.

 

[dnu]

As one with an inflammatory bowel disease and one who has experienced the ten-hours-in-the-restroom-preparing for a colonoscopy before, I approve of that joke.

 

[friardchips]

As one with an inflammatory bowel disease and one who has experienced the ten-hours-in-the-restroom-preparing for a colonoscopy before, I approve of that joke.

That is very sad to hear, regarding your own personal issues, and too, your response to the ‘joke’.