Priests Too Busy for Confession?

[AKDee]

I think you’re making a bit of an assumption that the priest has nothing on his schedule to prevent him from hearing unscheduled confessions.

While I do agree he should make time, you may be sharing your pastor with another parish (or more), he may do work for the diocese when he’s not working at the Parish, etc. Our last pastor was not only our Parish Priest but he also ran the Tribunal for our Diocese. Our current pastor is also the Archbishop of our Archdiocese, so he’s quite a busy man as well.

I would ask again, but also take the time to pray for your Pastor - we should always pray for our priests, but your pastor may also be very busy and the prayers may help.

 

[Aim4TheMark]

I think you’re making a bit of an assumption that the priest has nothing on his schedule to prevent him from hearing unscheduled confessions.

While I do agree he should make time, you may be sharing your pastor with another parish (or more), he may do work for the diocese when he’s not working at the Parish, etc. Our last pastor was not only our Parish Priest but he also ran the Tribunal for our Diocese. Our current pastor is also the Archbishop of our Archdiocese, so he’s quite a busy man as well.

I would ask again, but also take the time to pray for your Pastor - we should always pray for our priests, but your pastor may also be very busy and the prayers may help.

Sorry, this wasn’t an unscheduled confession but rather an attempt to schedule one. And I wasn’t told he was too busy this week or this month and would be available later - but he was flat out too busy to hear confession.

Sure, I understand priests have other responsibilities, but as someone else mentioned, there should be priorities. As far as I understand it, a priest’s primary responsibility is to minister to his parish. If he’s too busy to do that, then why even have him as a priest? What good is a shepherd who’s too busy to watch after his sheep? The Church should take any non-priestly duties and assign them to someone else so the priests can do those duties that only a priest can do. If there’s a shortage of priests, then the Church should devise strategies like these.

Returning to the Catholic church has been a very lonely experience for me. The priests, deacons, and religious at the church seem so distant from the parishioners that the only way to learn about the faith or try to get closer to the church is by reading books or searching for answers on the Internet. It’s no wonder so many people leave the Church for evangelical faiths where people are made to feel at home and the pastor is very involved in the community. And Catholic priests lament how the pews are empty - while they don’t even have time for the few people left.

Nothing will ever shake my faith in God, but experiences like these make me question the Church. I’d love to talk with someone in the clergy about it - but they’re too busy. I guess I should just be happy to go to Church, pay my dues, and take care of any other spiritual needs on my own.

 

[AKDee]

Sorry, this wasn’t an unscheduled confession but rather an attempt to schedule one. And I wasn’t told he was too busy this week or this month and would be available later - but he was flat out too busy to hear confession.

Sure, I understand priests have other responsibilities, but as someone else mentioned, there should be priorities. As far as I understand it, a priest’s primary responsibility is to minister to his parish. If he’s too busy to do that, then why even have him as a priest? What good is a shepherd who’s too busy to watch after his sheep? The Church should take any non-priestly duties and assign them to someone else so the priests can do those duties that only a priest can do. If there’s a shortage of priests, then the Church should devise strategies like these.

Returning to the Catholic church has been a very lonely experience for me. The priests, deacons, and religious at the church seem so distant from the parishioners that the only way to learn about the faith or try to get closer to the church is by reading books or searching for answers on the Internet. It’s no wonder so many people leave the Church for evangelical faiths where people are made to feel at home and the pastor is very involved in the community. And Catholic priests lament how the pews are empty - while they don’t even have time for the few people left.

Nothing will ever shake my faith in God, but experiences like these make me question the Church. I’d love to talk with someone in the clergy about it - but they’re too busy. I guess I should just be happy to go to Church, pay my dues, and take care of any other spiritual needs on my own.

By unscheduled I meant outside the hours of normal confession, but perhaps your Parish does not have normal confession hours? If not, that is a real problem.

I completely agree that Priests should prioritize the sacraments, including the sacrament of reconciliation. I was merely pointing out that there may be very good reasons why your priest is stretched thin.

I’m sorry for the experience you’re having. I just joined the Church at Easter and have been fortunate to be in an active and busy Parish. We have the sacrament of reconciliation every Saturday 3:30pm-4:30pm, and last Saturday so many people showed up that even with two priests hearing confession it ran over by 45 minutes.

I am always amazed at how many volunteers we have, though. It seems like everyone but the priest and church secretary are volunteers and there are dozens of them. The Deacons, faith formation leader, child care, grounds keepers, janitorial, sacristans, altarboys, lectors, choir, etc- all volunteers. Our Parish would fall apart without all the volunteers. It takes a lot of people to make a Parish run. Perhaps your Parish Priest doesn’t have as much help?

Like others said, if you truly don’t feel this Parish is a good fit and there is another nearby you could go to, you can switch. Different Parishes have different vibes.

 

[utah_rose]

I have recently returned to my Catholic faith and have been going to mass weekly at my local parish. Over they past year, I’ve been becoming closer and closer to my Catholic faith, reading daily on the topic and trying to more strictly adhere to the Church’s teachings. One thing I’ve been severely behind on though is going to confession. The last time I went was about ten years ago, but when I told the priest I was married outside the Church, he told me he wouldn’t hear my confession until I addressed that sin - which I did by having my marriage blessed by the Church later that year. The last time I went to confession before that was when I was a child.

Anyways, since it’s been so long and I possibly have a lot to discuss, I thought I’d make an appointment. I called the parish office, asked to arrange a time for confession, and was told someone would call me back. Later that day the pastor’s secretary called me back and said he was too busy to hear confession, but maybe the associate pastor had time and asked for my email address so he could contact me. That was Monday morning and I haven’t heard anything yet; I was hoping to go this week, but maybe I have to wait a few weeks to see if someone calls or emails me back, or if I have call them again and bug them.

How is it that a priest is too busy to hear confession? We have three masses a week at the parish (and most masses are said by priests from other parishes… I see the head pastor say mass once every few months, and the associate pastor maybe once a month), the pews are about 20% full, and there are almost no ministries or activities held during the week. What are they busy doing?

I’m really tempted to find another parish, but maybe I’d have the same problem there. Should I maybe call nearby parishes and see if I can find a priest elsewhere to hear my confession?

Thanks,

Mark

I’d try another parish too, but I’d mention this to your pastor. He may or may not have been too busy to hear your confession, but sometimes the parish secretary takes it upon herself or himself to define whether a priest is too busy. I too am a revert and ran into the same problem in Holy Week. I was lucky though to at least get my confession heard by another priest at another parish. I’d been away for 20 years. Your pastor may want to inform the staff that this is serious stuff and sending an email is ridiculous. Plus, some people either don’t have computers or are unable to receive emails.

I know that priests are busy and there’s a shortage of them but I wonder if some aren’t taking this sacrament seriously, particularly for reverts, and if some of them need to think of priorities.

 

[InThePew]

Sorry, this wasn’t an unscheduled confession but rather an attempt to schedule one. And I wasn’t told he was too busy this week or this month and would be available later - but he was flat out too busy to hear confession.

Sure, I understand priests have other responsibilities, but as someone else mentioned, there should be priorities. As far as I understand it, a priest’s primary responsibility is to minister to his parish. If he’s too busy to do that, then why even have him as a priest? What good is a shepherd who’s too busy to watch after his sheep? The Church should take any non-priestly duties and assign them to someone else so the priests can do those duties that only a priest can do. If there’s a shortage of priests, then the Church should devise strategies like these.

You’re right in saying that a priest’s primary responsibility is to minister to his parish although such ministry can take many diverse forms and isn’t always necessarily pastoral. Still, provided there is some flexibility on the part of the penitent, then there should always be time for confession outside of regularly scheduled hours. That said, sometimes parish secretaries (and some priests as well sadly) don’t always appreciate this. As well, phone messages may not be passed or or may simply slip off of the radar so to speak. So my recommendation to you would be to chase up the parish priest (or any priest at the parish for that matter) about scheduling an appointment - ask and keep on asking! I’ve phoned parishes and asked if I could come by in the next 10-15 minutes for the sacrament of reconciliation. I’ve also just asked a priest (when he didn’t seem too busy) and never been refused. If that fails, or you just get too frustrated, then call the neighbouring parishes.

 

[SuperLuigi]

Mark:

As was advised before, please go outside of the parish for this Confession if you can.

 

[thequeen]

Mark:

As was advised before, please go outside of the parish for this Confession if you can.

You have a point Superluigi. I rarely ever go to my own parish for confession.

 

[JRS_88]

When I came back to the Church, I made an appointment, but I didn’t have any problem getting in. I think I waited like 4 or 5 days, which I thought was reasonable since I knew the priest not only handled the parish, but he taught at the Catholic high school and said their masses.

Recently, I looked around on masstimes.org, found some of the local parishes and made a list of their times for confession. It’s helpful.

 

[brad90956]

I had a similar problem a couple weeks ago. Our parish priest was on vacation for 10 days and the visiting priest was not hearing confession. I really needed to go to confession during the week because I committed a mortal sin and wanted to receiving the Eucharist on Sunday. I searched (on line) all the local parishes and found one that hears confessions during the late afternoon and I went to that one.

I also just returned to the Church this year after a 30 year absence. I thoroughly examined my conscious and had so many sins I had to write them down on a piece of paper and take it with me to confession before Mass. After I told my priest it had been over 30 years since my last confession I asked him if it was alright if I read my sins from the paper that I brought. He was fine with it and I just went through the long list of sins (crying the whole way through) and when I finished I just let out a huge sigh. My priest told me it was a great confession and welcomed me back to the church.

I wouldn’t worry about making an appointment for confession. Just go when church offers it and if it takes a long time…so what. You are there for a very important reason. The only other option to search for another parish to hear your confession.

 

[Casilda]

sometimes the parish secretary takes it upon herself or himself to define whether a priest is too busy.

That is the problem I encountered. In one very large parish, one of the part time secretaries was also the rcia director, the one who organized retreats, her name was under a lot of groups as THE contact person. She was vehemently unhelpful. The parish’s thorn. I call such persons, the devil’s gatekeeper. So it may not be the priest, but those hovering around him, keeping him isolated from those seeking his guidance.

If you’ve seen Lord of the Rings movies, the King of Rohan, King Theoden was surrounded/smothered by such an advisor, Wormtongue.

 

[TimothyH]

Mark:

As was advised before, please go outside of the parish for this Confession if you can.
thequeen;13163140:

You have a point Superluigi. I rarely ever go to my own parish for confession.

But you have a right to receive the sacraments at your home/territorial parish.

According to canon law, baptism is supposed to be done at your territorial/home parish. Matrimony cannot be done anywhere other than your home parish without prior permission. Funerals, though not a sacrament, are treated like baptisms - the norm according to canon law is to do them in your territorial parish.

Reference canonlawmadeeasy.com/2008/04/11/parish-registration/

Here are a few canons:
vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P4B.HTM
vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2V.HTM

-Tim-

 

[drforjc]

I wouldn’t worry about making an appointment for confession. Just go when church offers it and if it takes a long time…so what. You are there for a very important reason. The only other option to search for another parish to hear your confession.

So what? How about all the other penitents that may not get heard? They may be there for very important reasons too.

 

[TimothyH]

So what? How about all the other penitents that may not get heard? They may be there for very important reasons too.

There are ways around this.

I made a 37 year confession on an ordinary Saturday afternoon. I went down to the Church with two pages of sins written down, got in line with everyone else and told the priest that it was first confession in almost four decades.

The priest went through the 10 commandments with me. It took only a few minutes. He then asked me what I struggled with especially and I told him my habitual sins. He absolved me and it didn’t take long at all. I made a general confession later by appointment.

My point is that it is not always necessary to wait for an appointment. The intent to confess all your sins is enough even if they are not vocalized. The important thing is to receive the sacrament and if the priest is experienced enough he will know what to do.

-Tim-

 

[AKDee]

So what? How about all the other penitents that may not get heard? They may be there for very important reasons too.

It might be helpful to view such an instance with some Christian charity and think that perhaps that person needed it more than you, or at least as much as you. And perhaps they don’t have the ability to come any other time. I haven’t seen an instance where one person’s long confession prevented anyone else from receiving the sacrament of reconciliation. I was once behind a guy that took 15 minutes to confess. He was pretty embarrassed. He had tried to get me to go before him but I thought he was just being chivalrous and declined. Had I known he would be embarrassed by the length of his confession I would have gone first. But that didn’t keep anyone from getting to confess that day. The past two weeks at my parish, I"m not sure what’s going on but we’ve had a huge number of penitents. More than those before Easter or Divine Mercy Sunday. Both our priest and our Archbishop were hearing confessions. Even so, last Sunday confession ran 45 minutes over to accommodate everyone. That said, they did get to everyone, and Father had 15 minutes left to prepare for Mass.

 

[ccmcmg]

You have a point Superluigi. I rarely ever go to my own parish for confession.

Although I would love to have a trusted confessor to see regularly (and I may have found one now, albeit accidentally), let’s remember that’s Jesus that we are confessing our sins to, through the parish priest. We meet Jesus in every confessional we visit, no matter where or in what language. Thanks be to God!

 

[TimothyH]

Although I would love to have a trusted confessor to see regularly (and I may have found one now, albeit accidentally), let’s remember that’s Jesus that we are confessing our sins to, through the parish priest. We meet Jesus in every confessional we visit, no matter where or in what language. Thanks be to God!

Of course we meet Jesus in the confessional but It is better to have a consistent confessor for the same reason one has consistency in their doctor or dentist.

-Tim-

 

[eamonnroma]

A priest is ordained to offer the sacraments. Anything else is secondary.

 

[MomaMary8]

Do you have a center of Opus Dei nearby? They have a charism for confession and I’m sure a priest would be available to hear your confession.

I think more and more, we need to adjust our way of thinking. We are very accustomed to our priest keeping the activities, sacraments and parish life active and welcoming to new members and to our returning brothers and sisters. With the shortage of priests, it is up to us lay people to find ways to welcome home our new members. We need to pick up the slack so our priests can focus on the sacraments. In less than 15 years our active parish will have gone from 2 full time priests & 3 deacons to a part time priest and two elderly permanent deacons.