Prior Marriages

[billcu1]

A woman is interested in me who is a Methodist. I am the Catholic party. I have never been married but she has been multiple times. I really don’t want to get married but in this type of a situation is the Catholic party all that matters? Do they want to know about the non-Catholics prior marriages?

Bill

 

[JamalChristophr]

Most definitely. If her marriages are not annulled, then she’s a married woman still.

Seems like a Danger Zone to me, Bill, I wouldn’t fly too close to the deck with this one, you’re likely to get burned, just an intuition.

 

[cena]

A woman is interested in me who is a Methodist. I am the Catholic party. I have never been married but she has been multiple times. I really don’t want to get married but in this type of a situation is the Catholic party all that matters? Do they want to know about the non-Catholics prior marriages?

Bill

Are any of her previous husbands still alive? If it was valid she’s still married to that guy.

 

[Auntie_A]

Your words: “a woman is interested in me” do not explain the other side: “are YOU interested in her?” Please spend some time looking at this question about her or anyone? You have every right to be suspicious about anyone who approaches you. Many humans do not always have a pure interest in us. It’s good to discern the truth before you get attached. She could be a very disturbed person who knows how to manipulate a man like you. Better to be a bit skeptical in this case. Her marriage “track record” is reason enough to be wary.

 

[1ke]

A woman is interested in me who is a Methodist. I am the Catholic party. I have never been married but she has been multiple times. I really don’t want to get married but in this type of a situation is the Catholic party all that matters? Do they want to know about the non-Catholics prior marriages?

Bill

Both parties must be found free to marry. If your friend has multiple prior marriages, she is not free to marry and each prior marriage must be examined.

 

[CaitlinSiobhan]

Your words: “a woman is interested in me” do not explain the other side: “are YOU interested in her?” Please spend some time looking at this question about her or anyone? You have every right to be suspicious about anyone who approaches you. Many humans do not always have a pure interest in us. It’s good to discern the truth before you get attached. She could be a very disturbed person who knows how to manipulate a man like you. Better to be a bit skeptical in this case. Her marriage “track record” is reason enough to be wary.

While I agree that it is always best to approach ANY relationship (romantic or otherwise) with discernment, I’m a little concerned about the “track record” portion of your post.
My best friend (who is not Catholic) is in her fourth marriage. On the outside, this would seem to be one of those scenarios where one might think she is “disturbed” or “manipulative”. But the truth of the matter is, none of the previous three divorces were either a) her “fault” or b) anything most people would have advised against.
I think that blanket statements are, at the very least, not helpful in these types of discussions, and at the worst, could be hurtful.

Also, the OP mentioned that he really did not want to get married. So I think this is a question he’s just posting out of curiosity.

 

[billcu1]

Your words: “a woman is interested in me” do not explain the other side: “are YOU interested in her?” Please spend some time looking at this question about her or anyone? You have every right to be suspicious about anyone who approaches you. Many humans do not always have a pure interest in us. It’s good to discern the truth before you get attached. She could be a very disturbed person who knows how to manipulate a man like you. Better to be a bit skeptical in this case. Her marriage “track record” is reason enough to be wary.

Am I interested in her not really. But I really don’t know what to say. She is showing me that I pretty much need to be a single guy. I wouldn’t mind going out sith someone 1 or twice a week to do something. Go to church, she likes bowling and activities. Other than that I have no need of a woman. I told her I am not looking for a relationship but wouldn’t mind company once a week. I really am not interested in dating period.

Bill

 

[billcu1]

While I agree that it is always best to approach ANY relationship (romantic or otherwise) with discernment, I’m a little concerned about the “track record” portion of your post.
My best friend (who is not Catholic) is in her fourth marriage. On the outside, this would seem to be one of those scenarios where one might think she is “disturbed” or “manipulative”. But the truth of the matter is, none of the previous three divorces were either a) her “fault” or b) anything most people would have advised against.
I think that blanket statements are, at the very least, not helpful in these types of discussions, and at the worst, could be hurtful.

Also, the OP mentioned that he really did not want to get married. So I think this is a question he’s just posting out of curiosity.

She says she has been abused and was tired of one man’s alcohol problem. But I don’t think he abused her he just couldn’t wise up to the alcohol problem. She is in counseling now. Sounds to me like they should’ve did marriage counseling too. I’m not interested but have agreed to go to her church and she is coming to the Sat. vigil at my Parish Saturday.

 

[billcu1]

Your words: “a woman is interested in me” do not explain the other side: “are YOU interested in her?” Please spend some time looking at this question about her or anyone? You have every right to be suspicious about anyone who approaches you. Many humans do not always have a pure interest in us. It’s good to discern the truth before you get attached. She could be a very disturbed person who knows how to manipulate a man like you. Better to be a bit skeptical in this case. Her marriage “track record” is reason enough to be wary.

She told me the first time we met that she had been married more than twice. She said that’s bad isn’t it? I said well it depends on the situation. Sometimes a person can get married too soon or young and not understand what they’re getting into. Sometimes you have to leave and abusive relationship. But I don’t think in the church that’s a right to remarry. I want to get away as soon as possible. But I don’t want to hurt her.

 

[otjm]

While I agree that it is always best to approach ANY relationship (romantic or otherwise) with discernment, I’m a little concerned about the “track record” portion of your post.
My best friend (who is not Catholic) is in her fourth marriage. On the outside, this would seem to be one of those scenarios where one might think she is “disturbed” or “manipulative”. But the truth of the matter is, none of the previous three divorces were either a) her “fault” or b) anything most people would have advised against.
I think that blanket statements are, at the very least, not helpful in these types of discussions, and at the worst, could be hurtful.

.

I would be inclined to disagree with you about your friend - no fault in the divorce. One marriage - maybe I could say that what should have been seen early on (as in, before the marriage) might possibly have been overlooked or ignored. Twice? That starts to stretch credibility. Three times? That seems Ito indicate a serious lack of discernment. Now a fourth marriage? And the same goes for the OP’s friend.

There are occasionally people who will say that they - and everyone else - had “no clue”; and that is always possible; but I can’t count the number of times I have heard comments from “I should have paid attention” to “Everyone warned me but I didn’t want to hear it” to variations on the same theme.

I am not trying to pick, but I have simply seen too many circumstances where people acknowledge that what happened later was not exactly latent as it all began.

 

[Auntie_A]

While I agree that it is always best to approach ANY relationship (romantic or otherwise) with discernment, I’m a little concerned about the “track record” portion of your post.
My best friend (who is not Catholic) is in her fourth marriage. On the outside, this would seem to be one of those scenarios where one might think she is “disturbed” or “manipulative”. But the truth of the matter is, none of the previous three divorces were either a) her “fault” or b) anything most people would have advised against.
I think that blanket statements are, at the very least, not helpful in these types of discussions, and at the worst, could be hurtful.

Also, the OP mentioned that he really did not want to get married. So I think this is a question he’s just posting out of curiosity.

In no way have I “blanketed” a statement but rather expressed a concern that he look deeper, practice skepticism, and be wary. This casts no aspersions on your friend, myself, or anyone who has experienced a break-up not of their own doing. It is a warning to look deeper and discern whether this person has good intentions, demonstrates good judgment and actually learns from her mistakes. The truth is, many “nice” people have serious relationship flaws that aren’t always apparent at the beginning. Your friend would probably agree with me?

 

[Jean_Anthony]

The question has been answered.