Private School and food stamps ?

[CrossBro]

You clearly did not get it at all.

I wasn’t “accusing” you of anything. I was making a point. Which you clearly ignored or missed entirely.

Go ahead and keep living in Self-Righteousville if you want. But it’s pretty lonely.

You point was to say that I was unfair in an assessment because I lacked personal knowledge of the affairs of activities of others.

My response would be to state that I was very active in that parish and knew many of the families I speak of. You got me on a small minority of them, some probably were on the bazaar committee, but trust me when I tell you, the vast majority of them were not.

 

[1ke]

You point was to say that I was unfair in an assessment because I lacked personal knowledge of the affairs of activities of others.

Unfair in your assumptions about those families of the past and the ones you are dealing with now.

My response would be to state that I was very active in that parish and knew many of the families I speak of. You got me on a small minority of them, some probably were on the bazaar committee, but trust me when I tell you, the vast majority of them were not.

Sigh. Still missing the point.

 

[CrossBro]

Unfair in your assumptions about those families of the past and the ones you are dealing with now.

Sigh. Still missing the point.

You are probably right, I probably am being unfair.

But life is not fair is it ?

I am paying taxes and not eligible for food stamps. I am paying for their food stamps and I was packing their food bank stuff for them, even carried it out to the car once in awhile,

I guess I should just keep quiet and say nothing, when I lose my job and they cycle me off the streets eating out of garbage cans and into the prison system, guess it will be on me because I forgot that they would help me out.

 

[Bonnie]

You know, CrossBro, instead of venting on an anonymous forum, perhaps you should confront those slackers in person. You could call a meeting and tell them something like this:

“Folks, I know all about you. I know that you all have more money and more time than you know what to do with. So from now on, I want to see you at my favorite charities. You can sign up right here.”

But then, you won’t take my advice because I’m one of those “slackers.” We get food stamps. I have never picketed an abortion clinic (I’ve never even seen one!). I don’t help out at the food bank or serve free meals. We drive a (gasp!) SUV. Does that mean I don’t do volunteer work? Not at all. I spend a lot of time doing volunteer work that helps others. And I haven’t seen you there. Not once.

 

[tafan]

You point was to say that I was unfair in an assessment because I lacked personal knowledge of the affairs of activities of others.

My response would be to state that I was very active in that parish and knew many of the families I speak of. You got me on a small minority of them, some probably were on the bazaar committee, but trust me when I tell you, the vast majority of them were not.

You may have known the school families in your previous parish, and they may have been predominantly upper middle class, but you do BOT know that about the families receiving food at the food bank. Around here, we have parishes with schools where the vast majority are well off, but 15 minutes away is a parish school where the vast majority are poor.

Having served on the financial aid committee of our parish school, I would guess that at least 1/3 qualify for food stamps. We have several families, who have an income below 20000/year. A couple of families have almost no income at all, their kids go for almost free, with donated used uniforms.

Don’t judge

 

[tafan]

Also, as a pastor once told us: do not use the word private when discussing catholic schools. Catholic schools are not meant to be elite, which is what that word makes them sound like.

 

[CrossBro]

Also, as a pastor once told us: do not use the word private when discussing catholic schools. Catholic schools are not meant to be elite, which is what that word makes them sound like.

What do you suggest ?

That we call them public schools ?

Whether they were meant to elite or not, they are, Otherwise the parents would not bother and the private Catholic school system would not always be bragging about test results.

 

[maryjk]

What do you suggest ?

That we call them public schools ?

Whether they were meant to elite or not, they are, Otherwise the parents would not bother and the private Catholic school system would not always be bragging about test results.

Parish School.

 

[tafan]

What do you suggest ?

That we call them public schools ?

Whether they were meant to elite or not, they are, Otherwise the parents would not bother and the private Catholic school system would not always be bragging about test results.

That we call them Catholic schools. That’s what they are, adding a second adjective really had no useful purpose.

You should go see the kids in my parish school, and the cars, nothing elite about it.

It is starting to seem like you have an axe to grind with catholic schools way beyond food stamps.

 

[TimothyH]

The majority of families at my daughter’s Catholic school are not rich. A few are very well off but most struggle to keep a decent car on the road and pay the tuition from month to month.

As others have stated, grandparents and divorced spouses often pay a significant portion of the bill.

There is also Grace Scholars in the state of Georgia.

-Tim-

 

[maryjk]

OP, based on what you have posted on this thread, it sounds like you are very bitter and resentful towards some of the people who use food banks. Perhaps, you should reconsider whether this type of volunteering/ministry is really a good fit for you. **My family has, at times, needed assistance from a food bank. It was humiliating enough having to ask for help; I can’t imagine how I would have felt thinking that the person helping me secretly thought I was an undeserving slacker who never helped anyone else. **Really, I think it would be best if you found another way to serve. Helping the poor in this way seems to be bringing out the worst, not the best in you. 1 Corinthians 13:3

I agree.

Many years ago, my son was attending a private school. (Not a parish school.) My in-laws paid for it. My husband had a good job; I was a SAHM.

Then my husband lost his job. He was out of work for a year.

Just over half way through that year, I received food from the food bank. I was driving a decent car, we owned our home. AND our son was attending private school.

BUT we hadn’t had income in over 6 months. And that food got us through the month.

But somehow, I am an undeserving slacker.

 

[CrossBro]

I agree.

Many years ago, my son was attending a private school. (Not a parish school.) My in-laws paid for it. My husband had a good job; I was a SAHM.

Then my husband lost his job. He was out of work for a year.

Just over half way through that year, I received food from the food bank. I was driving a decent car, we owned our home. AND our son was attending private school.

BUT we hadn’t had income in over 6 months. And that food got us through the month.

But somehow, I am an undeserving slacker.

If you had placed your son in public school would you have needed the help ?

 

[maryjk]

If you had placed your son in public school would you have needed the help ?

I wasn’t paying for the school. That was my point.

Even if I had been, tuition is paid before the start of school. So when he started school my husband had a job. Pulling out son out, wouldn’t have saved any money.

 

[dixieagle]

I think a lot of my anger and negative reaction towards learning that families receiving food stamps and food bank assistance comes from the fact that for five years in a previous city I volunteered weekly in a soup kitchen run by my parish.

Most of the people who volunteered looked like they could of used a hand out themselves. I would go to daily mass and see these parents in the most expensive late model sports cars and SUVs taking their kids to school.

Of all these parents, I can think of only one who ever volunteered to work to help feed the poor in the soup kitchen in five years. The service was provided right out of the school gymnasium/cafeteria, so it was not like it was a secret either.

Maybe you are right there is some truth that I am over generalizing or stereotyping and should not be judging everyone and everyone’s situation is different. But I was not overly impressed with the unwillingness of the upper-middle class in my previous parish to lend a hand to the poor.

Perhaps those same people you judge harshly are donating to the soup kitchen monetarily, or support their local Catholic Charities appeals. Unless you have seen their tax returns, you are in no position to know.

 

[TerryJT]

“The Gospel takes away my right forever to distinguish between the deserving and the undeserving poor.”

Dorothy Day

 

[Hawkiz]

I am one of these people right now. I lost my high paying job over six months ago. Our parish priest has waived tuition for our children after I went and humbled myself to speak with him. I didn’t ask for a handout, but asked that he delay billing me for tuition until I was able to pay again. He insisted that the parish lift this burden from our family and waived the full amount for the year. Did I ‘deserve’ to have my tuition waived? I doubt it - even though I have volunteered within the parish and my diocese for more than 20 years. But thankfully, my savior, my diocese, my parish, my family, and my children’s school have all decided to NOT give me what I ‘deserve’. I’m a sinner…I’m weak…and if it was up to me, I wouldn’t have been laid off, or I would have found a ‘better’ job the next day - but Jesus has something else in mind, so I submit to that (while looking for work daily, taking small odd jobs where I can, doing my part to keep my family afloat, and yes, accepting public assistance).
I know nothing about you except for what you have revealed on this forum - and you know nothing about me except for what I have revealed to you - so I will assume that you were asking for an honest assessment from the forum community: which seems to have been telling you that your over-generalization of those who take from the food bank is out of place. We do not know what circumstances have brought anyone to the door of the food bank - maybe some are “abusing the system”. But perhaps, just perhaps, some are in real need. As others have noted here, it takes a tremendous effort to swallow ones pride and go to a food bank in the first place…if you had told me even 1 month ago that I would be one of those people, I probably would have scoffed at the very idea…but the Lord has knocked me down off the pedestal I had myself up on. Believe me when I tell you that I worried for days about the scorn and shame that I would feel when I went to get that box of food…and it pains me to hear that I might have been right in thinking that everyone who handed me that food was judging me and looking down upon me. I would encourage you to return to your service at your food bank - with a joyful heart.
And I would like to praise the Lord that when I did humble myself - the Lord took away my fears and comforted my, shepherded my through the past few months of what otherwise would have been a pit of despair. I trust in Him to use me - even in the times that I don’t enjoy - for His Glory.

 

[TexCatholic4JMJ]

God continue to bless you in your time of need. It has been a blessing that you were able to
keep your children in a Catholic school especially during this time. I will pray for a successful
job search and good part time jobs in the meantime.

 

[Bonnie]

“The Gospel takes away my right forever to distinguish between the deserving and the undeserving poor.”

Dorothy Day

Amen! Dorothy Day is one of my heros.

Hawkiz -

You said it so well. Much better than my sarcasm.
We’ll be praying for you and your family.

 

[CrossBro]

Amen! Dorothy Day is one of my heros.

Hawkiz -

You said it so well. Much better than my sarcasm.
We’ll be praying for you and your family.

** Oh gee, I know this is so wrong but…**
“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

 

[CrossBro]

By the way, are really talking about the poor here when we are talking about people who own homes and nice cars and their kids are in private school and they are on food stamps ?