Private School and food stamps ?

[maryjk]

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

Really?

You believe that giving or helping at a food bank is giving what is holy to DOGS!!

Sounds like you need to have a nice long discussion with your priest.

It also sounds like you need to find another ministry. Working at the food bank, obviously isn’t for you.

 

[CrossBro]

Really?

You believe that giving or helping at a food bank is giving what is holy to DOGS!!

Sounds like you need to have a nice long discussion with your priest.

It also sounds like you need to find another ministry. Working at the food bank, obviously isn’t for you.

Really now ?

Do you not get it ?- Of course after helping for years in a soup kitchen feed the poor alongside people who were down and out and not seeing any of these folks in their expensive SUVs dropping the kids off at private school I am sure you can see the frustration when these people go on the dole but are unwilling to downsize their own lives.

With their connections and education this is but a hiccup, two years down the road and they will be snubbing their noses again.

 

[maryjk]

Really now ?

Do you not get it ?-

Yes, I get it. But I don’t think you do.

Of course after helping for years in a soup kitchen feed the poor alongside people who were down and out and not seeing any of these folks in their expensive SUVs dropping the kids off at private school I am sure you can see the frustration when these people go on the dole but are unwilling to downsize their own lives.

With their connections and education this is but a hiccup, two years down the road and they will be snubbing their noses again.

So during this “hiccup” they should either starve or sell all of their possessions? They should pull their kids out of private school that has already been paid for. And they shouldn’t bother you at the food bank until they are living in their car (that they sold.)

How easy is it to downsize? Have you ever tried it? Do you know that it costs money to sell your house? That if you have to sell in a short period of time, you won’t get what it is worth? Have you tried to sell a used SUV? Think you will get enough money from it to buy a reliable car? Or are these people suppose to just go without a car? How do you look for a job without a car?

You remind me of people that told my husband that he could and should find a job at Lowes or Home Depot or the Lumber Yard. Of course, if my husband did that, he would have to stop looking for a job in his field. You see, once you have a job, that job doesn’t want you taking off for interviews. So if he got a job at Lowes, he would never have a chance to get a job in his field. And his job loss wouldn’t have been a year long hiccup.

 

[Hawkiz]

Really now ?

Do you not get it ?- Of course after helping for years in a soup kitchen feed the poor alongside people who were down and out and not seeing any of these folks in their expensive SUVs dropping the kids off at private school I am sure you can see the frustration when these people go on the dole but are unwilling to downsize their own lives.

With their connections and education this is but a hiccup, two years down the road and they will be snubbing their noses again.

I will patiently try again. The overwhelming response from this forum has been to suggest to you that you are jumping to conclusions and rushing to judgements about the people that you want to serve at the food bank. I am sorry that this isn’t the answer that you were seeking.
Who is playing the part of the snob? Is it the person who is willing to admit their need for help? Or is it the person who begrudgingly offers help, only to then question if the person asking deserves to receive his help? Or is it the person who presumes to know so much that he claims he can see the future two years down the road? As Catholics, we are called to serve those less fortunate than we. Period. We are not called to judge. We are not called to hold our personal haughtiness over those whom we serve. Can any of us imagine Mother Theresa scorning the poor that she served? And I know that she served longer than I ever have. Yet she never chastised others when they didn’t serve in the same way that she did! As your brother in Christ, I caution you to examine your own arrogance and your personal snobbishness. Intentional or not, your posts here on this forum have gone beyond asking for opinions and have crossed over into the realm of insults. I do not presume that you meant to call me or anyone else a snob or to otherwise make anyone feel unworthy of help. But it is fair to let you know that your posts have done exactly that: they have made me feel that you are calling me a snob and that I am somehow unworthy of food. I pray that this was an unintentional consequence of your posts. What type of car WOULD be acceptable for someone going to a food bank to drive? What type of clothing should they wear? Should I shower before I come and ask for your help - or would it be wrong of me to waste money on hot water before I come begging? Where do you draw the line on what I should spend my money on? Should I have abandoned my mortgage? If I had walked away from my house, and let it fall into foreclosure, I surely could have fed my family for many more months before I had a need for a food bank! We who have hiccups in our professions make the decisions that we feel are best for our families. I am sorry that you seem to have had a poor set of experiences in dealing with people who send their children to Catholic schools and drive cars that are seemingly unfitting for someone who needs public assistance. I am further sorry that you do not see the (presumably) wealthy of you past parish out on the front lines of the battle for the poor. I might suggest that (as others have done) rather than focus on what you do not see - you trust that the Lord will call those with seemingly better financial means to serve in His own way.
To address your original question again, I say - trust that Jesus is in control - even at the very food bank were you have chosen to serve, and then let go of your personal judgements of others. If you don’t feel that you can do that, then it may well be time for you to move on to a different mission field. You said that the food bank where you serve has rules about who can and who can not receive? Trust then that those rules are being followed. If you have reason to question if the rules are being broken - perhaps you should take that up with an administrator within that facility? Bottom line - thank you for your service to others - but if you can’t serve with charity, maybe you shouldn’t be serving at a charitable organization?

 

[Hawkiz]

God continue to bless you in your time of need. It has been a blessing that you were able to
keep your children in a Catholic school especially during this time. I will pray for a successful
job search and good part time jobs in the meantime.

Thank you! All prayers have merit and are very much appreciated!

 

[CrossBro]

Yes, I get it. But I don’t think you do.
So during this “hiccup” they should either starve or sell all of their possessions? They should pull their kids out of private school that has already been paid for. And they shouldn’t bother you at the food bank until they are living in their car (that they sold.)

How easy is it to downsize? Have you ever tried it? Do you know that it costs money to sell your house? That if you have to sell in a short period of time, you won’t get what it is worth? Have you tried to sell a used SUV? Think you will get enough money from it to buy a reliable car? Or are these people suppose to just go without a car? How do you look for a job without a car?

You remind me of people that told my husband that he could and should find a job at Lowes or Home Depot or the Lumber Yard. Of course, if my husband did that, he would have to stop looking for a job in his field. You see, once you have a job, that job doesn’t want you taking off for interviews. So if he got a job at Lowes, he would never have a chance to get a job in his field. And his job loss wouldn’t have been a year long hiccup.

Stand your ground, don’t lower yourself, you might become one of them.

I bet you pass homeless people on the street all the time and don’t even notice them.

See, the problem is you think someone who is poor is somebody who has a flat screen TV, three kids in private school, a five bedroom home, and two cars in the garage. They go between jobs and so have to lower themselves to food stamps for six months and ask for tuition deduction for their kids.

My idea of the poor is someone walking on a busy street in the rain in new years eve soaking wet watching all these people driving past going home to warm homes and a nice family dinner. This person most likely will be off the street when the police cycle him into prison. You don’t know or care these people exist.

This is why Sandra scoffed at the idea that the RCC was Church of the poor. She knows what I know, the RCC is the Church of the spoiled middle class pretending.

 

[maryjk]

Stand your ground, don’t lower yourself, you might become one of them.

I bet you pass homeless people on the street all the time and don’t even notice them.

You would be wrong. But I am sure you don’t want to hear that.

See, the problem is you think someone who is poor is somebody who has a flat screen TV, three kids in private school, a five bedroom home, and two cars in the garage. They go between jobs and so have to lower themselves to food stamps for six months and ask for tuition deduction for their kids.

No my problem is that I don’t think I should have to meet your definition of poor to receive help.

My idea of the poor is someone walking on a busy street in the rain in new years eve soaking wet watching all these people driving past going home to warm homes and a nice family dinner. This person most likely will be off the street when the police cycle him into prison. You don’t know or care these people exist.

You seem to think that you know know me pretty well. But you don’t. Just like you seem to think you know those people that come to the food bank.

This is why Sandra scoffed at the idea that the RCC was Church of the poor. She knows what I know, the RCC is the Church of the spoiled middle class pretending.

Someone doesn’t have to be living in their car or on the street to need help.

 

[Bonnie]

You don’t know or care these people exist.

And you know this - how? Your personal hot line to God? At least HE knows how often we have taken the homeless into our home, how often we have given our food to the hungry, how often we have given our clothes to those who need them, how often we have given them rides to church, gas stations, etc.

When was the last time YOU took in a homeless family and spent an evening treating and combing lice out of the children’s hair?

Maybe we don’t work at YOUR food bank, maybe we don’t even volunteer with established charities, but that doesn’t mean we don’t do the work that God sets out for us.

I don’t look down on any of these people as you seem to do - I am grateful that God has given us the resouces to help - no questions asked. (And we are by no means wealthy - we don’t even fall into the middle class! We are officially living at the poverty level - and have for years.)

 

[Hawkiz]

Amen! Dorothy Day is one of my heros.

Hawkiz -

You said it so well. Much better than my sarcasm.
We’ll be praying for you and your family.

Thank you for your prayers Bonnie - they are felt and appreciated! And I think that we are trying to communicate to a brick wall in CrossBro - I suggest that we focus on praying that the Lord will soften his/her heart to see that just because someone asks for help when they are afraid doesn’t mean that they are to be treated with scorn, or just because someone isn’t ‘poor enough’ doesn’t mean that they can’t be lifted up. I pray that CrossBro will see Jesus in all people from this moment forward - shoot - I pray that WE CAN ALL SEE JESUS IN EVERYONE AROUND US!

 

[MarkInOregon]

You are probably right, I probably am being unfair.

But life is not fair is it ?

I am paying taxes and not eligible for food stamps. I am paying for their food stamps and I was packing their food bank stuff for them, even carried it out to the car once in awhile,

I guess I should just keep quiet and say nothing, when I lose my job and they cycle me off the streets eating out of garbage cans and into the prison system, guess it will be on me because I forgot that they would help me out.

Your job, as is mine and any other Christians, is to do the will of the Father and to do it joyfully. It is not to judge others–whether they are struggling enough to get food assistance or whether they are doing enough in their life to help others. Why are you so bitter? If I give a guy on the off ramp a sack lunch–and he was just bilking me–what do I care? I did what I thought I was called to do–and I am not going to worry about it. I tried to provide food for the hungry. I can’t worry about whether the person was hungry enough or just trying to get a free ride. I’d prefer not to give to those who don’t truly need, but sometimes it will happen and I’m not going to lose sleep over it and stop giving or treat everyone with suspicion.

So what if you pay taxes. Most of us pay taxes. Our taxes go to all kinds of things. Our taxes help subsidize people who buy houses and obtain mortgages of up to a million dollars + 100k in equity debt. I think you should be more concerned about your tax dollars going to the guy buying a million dollar house than I do about them going to provide someone or some family with $31 dollars of food stamps each week–but that’s just me. The vast majority of those on assistance need it–if a few cheats get in so be it. Our tax dollars go to provide a bevy of tax breaks to the rich. Why does earning income from trading paper stock certificates earn me a better tax rate–than someone gets on the wages from their work? Why aren’t we concerned with that but only with some poor person getting food stamps?

I hope that you can find peace and joy, at some point, in doing what God calls you to do. All we can do is what God calls us to do and set an example. If we do it grumpily and with judgment we will attract no one. If we do it with love and joy hopefully we will attract others to want to help also. Hopefully our joy and peace and service will call others out of the secular world of self gratification.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[JanetF]

I have no problem helping those in need, but if someone has enough wealth to send their kids to private Catholic Schools while at the same time having to seek assistance from the government and charities, I wonder where our society is headed. My personal experience about most families who send their kids to private school is that they have the best SUVs, the best homes, and are the least likely to offer help in the soup kitchen.

More than anything I am interested in other people’s viewpoints and perceptions on this matter.

That’s a generalization if ever I’ve heard one. I sent my child to parochial school, I wasn’t on food stamps, but I would have been willing to sacrifice quite a bit to keep my child in that school. As many have pointed out, quite often grandparents foot the bills, or divorced dads.

 

[MarkInOregon]

What do you suggest ?

That we call them public schools ?

Whether they were meant to elite or not, they are, Otherwise the parents would not bother and the private Catholic school system would not always be bragging about test results.

Really? I bother, I struggle, to keep my kid’s in our Catholic school because I want them to go to mass, to confession, to have our faith reinforced and taught to them at school as well as at home. I don’t want to have to deprogram them from the messages/indoctrination they would receive at our publlic schools. I don’t send them there for the test scores. How 'bout we just call it our local Catholic school? Finally–Catholic schools run a large spectrum with regards to their academic prowess, though I am sure they all try to do their best-- as to do anything less would not be bringing glory to God.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[Bonnie]

It is not to judge others–whether they are struggling enough to get food assistance or whether they are doing enough in their life to help others. Why are you so bitter? If I give a guy on the off ramp a sack lunch–and he was just bilking me–what do I care? I did what I thought I was called to do–and I am not going to worry about it. I tried to provide food for the hungry. I can’t worry about whether the person was hungry enough or just trying to get a free ride.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

My husband had that experience once. He gave his lunch (and he couldn’t afford to buy another one) to someone who claimed he was begging for food money. Husband happened to look back and saw the man selling the lunch to someone else!

Fortunately, this didn’t deter my husband from continuing to help without judgment. He had previously found this gem in The Shepherd of Hermas:

1[27]:4 But clothe thyself in reverence, wherein is no evil stumbling-block, but all things are smooth and gladsome. Work that which is good, and of thy labors, which God giveth thee, give to all that are in want freely, not questioning to whom thou shalt give, and to whom thou shalt not give. Give to all; for to all God desireth that there should be given of His own bounties.

1[27]:5 They then that receive shall render an account to God why they received it, and to what end; for they that receive in distress shall not be judged, but they that receive by false pretence shall pay the penalty.

1[27]:6 He then that giveth is guiltless; for as he received from the Lord the ministration to perform it, he hath performed it in sincerity, by making no distinction to whom to give or not to give. This ministration then, when sincerely performed, becomes glorious in the sight of God. He therefore that ministereth thus sincerely shall live unto God.

It is not up to us to judge. That is usurping God’s authority.

 

[MarkInOregon]

** Oh gee, I know this is so wrong but…**
“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

Do you know what this means or refers to? I’d be currious regarding your understanding of the verse and how it applies to the discussion at hand.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[JanetF]

CrossBro, you are being very judgmental about others. Ex: Those ladies driving the SUV, what year is it? Is it paid for and 10 years old, did they buy it used, at a price that was better than what they might pay for a smaller car that wouldn’t be practical for their large family? Since it is paid for, if they traded it for a more “acceptable car” would the trade in be equal to the price of the new car? It may not be logical to take on a car payment for a more acceptable car. How cheap of a car does a poor person need to possess to meet your criteria.

They don’t work at your food bank…maybe they volunteer at a hospital, school, hospice, or maybe they have small children at home and rather than neglecting them, they spent most of their time with their children and give $$ to the charities of their choice. We are called to give time, talent and treasure, sometimes we give a lot of time, but little talent or treasure, sometimes we give a lot of treasure, and sometimes, we have neither the time or the treasure, and have to just share our talents.

Would you like to ask for a copy of a tax return from anyone that dares to enter a Food Bank or soup kitchen? Because they can only make so much $$ in order to “qualify” to be a customer?

Also, catholic schools are PAROCHIAL, not private. It’s not as if only catholics can enroll their children. Often times, the local catholic school has proven to provide a better education than the local public school. Take the City of St. Louis public schools–no way I’d send a child to public school in the city, so I’d sacrifice whatever it took for the education of my child. OTOH, living in the burbs, I happen to be in one of the best districts in the country, so my child is in public school, and I would sacrifice to keep her there as well.

One never knows what might be occurring in the life of a family at any given time, they may appear to have it all, but in fact are struggling to keep just the basics.

Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, might give you better insight.

Also, your description of a poor person fits a homeless person, but there are varying degrees of poverty, surely you understand that, oh wait probably not.

 

[MStauth]

Holly, Food stamp recipients are not necessarily the only people who qualify for food bank. Where I am we don’t ask anything. if you show up in line you get food. I know a Jewish man who comes when he needs it so you don’t even have to be Christian.

 

[Bonnie]

Not being able to believe that a Catholic, especially a Catholic who reads this forum, would espouse the non-Christian ideas that CrossBro has, I’ve begun to wonder if he’s a troll. He sounds like one of those Westboro people - the professionals of unmerited judgment.

Anyone else think so?