Let’s face reality.
The priest is married to the Church, as he should be. He is on call at all hours. He spends regular hours every day of the week celebrating Mass, sometimes more than once. He hears confessions on regular times and upon appointments. He counsels people, he teaches, he is an administrator. He responds to complaints and compliments, and in all of that he needs time for prayer, reflection, retreat, and time to focus on the Lord all by himself.
Speaking as a woman, the reality is that I would not want to be married to the priest. If I were the wife of one man, I want to be first in his life, not last on the list behind everyone else in the Church. I would need my provider, I would need a shoulder to cry on when I get home from work, and if that work is the parish, then I would need my husband to spend time being my husband.
Jesus said that we cannot serve two masters, and indeed, marriage is a “master” because it is a covenant with God. Holy Orders is a covenant with God. How can we force one human being to choose between his God and his wife?
Simple…we don’t give him that choice because it would tear him apart.
The priesthood is not a career…it is a way of life. Priests die to the world in favor of service to God, wheras a husband and wife die to others in order to be of service to each other in cooperation with God.
The fruit of the marriage between the Church and the priest is the growing spirit of the individual parishes, the children brought up properly in the sacraments, etc.
The Church is the wife of the priest, and in the sacrament of Holy Orders we see the marriage ceremony before our eyes and understand that the new priest is married to US, the laity. He is our spiritual father, he is our earthly shepherd and in order for him to fulfill his vows, he needs both our support and prayers (we his spiritual family) and to NOT have the complication of a wife.
Marriages in which the wife comes second to the job don’t last. Usually the person who gives his life to his career is called a “workaholic”. That’s why the priesthood is not just a job. It’s not a 8-5 deal. It is a calling and a serious committment.
I have a friend who is a pastor for a Protestant denimination, and says he was called. However, although he now does teh occasional wedding and funeral, he is no longer in active ministry nor is he the pastor of any church. He complained about the calls at all hours and having to be at the service of others constantly. He became tired of it and decided to pick and choose when he would serve the Lord.
So is he “Called” or is it the man who gave his vows to God alone and who serves for life, like it or not?
Marriage and Holy Orders are similar sacraments with the same basic principal.
God bless our Priests and leave them alone! Believe it or not, they are happy in their celibacy, even when it is difficult!
