Probably breaking up with girlfriend later

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Layp3rs0n

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I am 31 she is 25. We like each other but she has no intention of trying to remain chaste. She keeps sending me to Confession by purposefully tempting me. I keep saying no, and she insists. She keeps apologizing but I no longer trust her. And so, I can’t do it anymore. I will be talking to her this evening. I hate that I have to break her heart. I think she’s in love with me. I am not handling this very well. It hurts me to. Please pray. Any advice is also appreciated.
 
Is she also Catholic? If not, it is very hard to have a relationship with someone who is not of the same faith, or no faith at all. You think she loves you. If she really did she would be respectful of your morals and religious beliefs. Her repetitive actions are proof that she does not. You yourself say she keeps tempting you. This is not a healthy relationship. God will lead you to the right women that has the same values as you do.

:signofcross:
God, help me to know that nothing can defeat me if I keep
myself humbly in contact with You. Grant me the
greatness of soul to confront my problems intelligently and
courageously. For this I thank You.
Amen

St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense against
the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we
humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the
Power of God, cast into hell satan and all the evil spirits who prowl
throughout the world, seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen

Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in
heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive
us our trespasses; as we forgive those who trespass
against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver
us from evil.
Amen

:signofcross:
 
Praying for you. It can’t be easy but please remember that your faith is the most important thing. Explain how you feel to her and that you really can’t carry on like this. Perhaps if she realises that you intend to finish with her she might change her ways. Try to discuss it calmly and not lose your temper.

Good luck - praying for you.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
When you say “purposely tempting”, do you mean she just doesn’t care about your moral convictions and is deliberately trying to cause you to sin? Or is she perhaps just getting as swept up into the moment as you are? You do say she apologizes, which is indicative of remorse.

It is good to avoid temptation and sin, so you have to do what you have to do. I would just spend some time reflecting and making sure that you don’t place all the blame on her rather than recognizing the things that you might be able to do to improve the situation.

I will say a prayer for you and for her. Break ups are hard. 😦
 
Layp3rs0n said:
I am 31 she is 25. We like each other but she has no intention of trying to remain chaste. She keeps sending me to Confession by purposefully tempting me. I keep saying no, and she insists. She keeps apologizing but I no longer trust her. And so, I can’t do it anymore. I will be talking to her this evening. I hate that I have to break her heart. I think she’s in love with me. I am not handling this very well. It hurts me to. Please pray. Any advice is also appreciated.
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This is more a common phenomenon in our time. My sister was noticing that with guys, by the third date, it was pretty much expected that it’d be sexual by then, if not before.

In olden times, of course, one generally waited till marriage.

I’ve talked to some guys who have told me that they want to remain chaste and if they do, the girl will interpret the lack of sex to mean the man doesn’t love them! Anyway, that’s what some MEN have told me!

It used to be women had to be the strong ones, but now, even men have to be quite strong.

I’m not sure how to best handle that. I will also listen to what others advise. You may be right in breaking it off, because if she won’t respect chastity now, how would you ever work with Natural Family Planning or anything else?

If she wants intimacy, I doubt she wants children at this point so probably was thinking of contracepting. So, there is also that.

You may have little alternative, sad as it is, because you don’t seem to be at all “on the same page” on major issues with regards to morality. You’d like help staying chaste, and she is not helping.

It’s hard now for anyone, man or woman, to find someone willing to be chaste. Good luck in your search!
 
I remember in one relationship, I didn’t want to have sex, and he was very outspoken, said if I wouldn’t, he didn’t want to be with me. So, we broke up over the issue of sex. Indeed, the pressure is on in today’s times to have it. One is considered more or less abnormal by resisting.

Even virgins in today’s society are often ridiculed. I remember being teased in school. They’d say things like, “Get thee to a nunnery!”
 
I like the person who said “Is she Catholic?” That is very important. It seems like she is not respecting you by “tempting you with the apple.” You on the other hand are in control of yourself, so you must resist the temptation and flee from the occasion of sin.
 
Sadly, many young women equate love with sex. This is where pop culture has led us.
If she is Catholic, I would suggest you ask her to watch some of the YouTube videos from Jason and Crystalina Evert and the Chastity Project.

They are excellent. If you think the relationship is worth salvaging, try watching the videos together.
God bless.
 
Definitely praying for you. I deeply admire and respect where you’re coming from with this.

Be stouthearted, wait for the Lord.
 
We are called to be the light of Christ to the world and this is especially true of dating.
By having sex before marriage, you are creating a bond before it’s time. God intended sex to happen only after you come before God, family, and friends and declare that you will stay together for life. This is because sex makes babies and God wants babies to have 2 parents, and because sex is the super glue that helps couples stick together through difficulties. Dating should be a time when you look at the other person soberly and chastely, to see if they would be a good life partner. Having sex makes it very hard to think straight and applies a bond before it’s time. Having sex makes it hard to break up, which might be the reason girls are going on the pill to avoid pregnancy but to establish a bond with their boyfriend so he wants to get married. With all the young women who are single and raising a baby by themselves, this idea isn’t working to the advantage of women or babies. Many hearts are broken along the way too. It’s smart to be chaste while dating and I hope that she will make the decision to be chaste in the future. You as well. Do you think you would be able to speak to her about this matter? Prayers will be said for both of you today.
 
PennyinCanada said:
We are called to be the light of Christ to the world and this is especially true of dating.
By having sex before marriage, you are creating a bond before it’s time. God intended sex to happen only after you come before God, family, and friends and declare that you will stay together for life. This is because sex makes babies and God wants babies to have 2 parents, and because sex is the super glue that helps couples stick together through difficulties. Dating should be a time when you look at the other person soberly and chastely, to see if they would be a good life partner. Having sex makes it very hard to think straight and applies a bond before it’s time. Having sex makes it hard to break up, which might be the reason girls are going on the pill to avoid pregnancy but to establish a bond with their boyfriend so he wants to get married. With all the young women who are single and raising a baby by themselves, this idea isn’t working to the advantage of women or babies. Many hearts are broken along the way too. It’s smart to be chaste while dating and I hope that she will make the decision to be chaste in the future. You as well. Do you think you would be able to speak to her about this matter? Prayers will be said for both of you today.
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We will be discussing things in a little over an hour. I have concluded this is not a salvageable relationship. She has told me she has no intention of changing. My stomach is churning. She is going to cry because I will not change my mind for her. I have always been the accommodating type. A wimpy “yes-man”. I greatly fear causing others pain. Yet I have to do this, and frankly I am afraid. The idea of causing heart break sickens me. I suffer from a christian desire to help gone awry. But I know this decision will help rather than hurt things. Still, the emotional toll at the moment is intense. Knowing that my words will cause her pain is so much.
 
Pain now, but possible years of heartache if she chooses the wrong person later due to misinterpreting sex for love. You are actually helping her.
She may not feel it, but this is the kindest, most loving thing you can do for her.
The TRUTH is always the most compassionate way.
God bless.
 
Layp3rs0n said:
We will be discussing things in a little over an hour. I have concluded this is not a salvageable relationship. She has told me she has no intention of changing. My stomach is churning. She is going to cry because I will not change my mind for her. I have always been the accommodating type. A wimpy “yes-man”. I greatly fear causing others pain. Yet I have to do this, and frankly I am afraid. The idea of causing heart break sickens me. I suffer from a christian desire to help gone awry. But I know this decision will help rather than hurt things. Still, the emotional toll at the moment is intense. Knowing that my words will cause her pain is so much.
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And what about the pain she’s causing you, and causing your soul? You must consider that, as well (as you obviously are). She’s not spending much effort worrying about your own personal well-being, your own convictions about your soul, how you are called to act as a disciple of Christ. She is disrespecting that in a major way.

Consider this while you’re hurting over ripping the band-aid off. The fact that you care so much about her feelings is a wonderful instinct on your part. You’re willing to torment yourself over the feelings and well-being of a person who is actively hurting you. That’s something awesome. Hold onto that-- but keep in mind that what you’re doing is ultimately in the best interest of everyone.

Perhaps this will open her eyes and one day she’ll have the courage to do the same as you.
 
Prayer for sexual purity

Jesus who have died for us, you have been raised,and you have married yourself to us; you have united everything that we are to yourself. We’re already one with you “in spirit”, and we await your return and our resurrection. whatever the future and fulfillment of sexuality is, it belongs to you. Until then, Lord Jesus, help us flee all forms of sexual immorality by fleeing to you. In our marriages, in our singleness, in our brokenness, in our need for repentance and healing, be glorified. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen!

:crossrc:

​
 
God be praised. She took it very well and shared my sentiments. our romantic relationship ended very amicably.
 
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