Problem, please help

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angell1

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hi everyone,

so I’ve posted before about sometimes not being to go to mass during sports tournaments. my parents are the ones who coach the team so I tried to bring it up with them. I want to try to make a more genuine effort this year. the problem is that they got really mad, said I was selfish and I wasn’t allowed to leave the team and goo off by myself. and that if I started doing that, then everyone would just go do their own thing too.

there are other issues too, sometimes scheduling is very difficult. plus it’s really ahrd for me to get around a new city. since I’m visually impaired, I can’t exactly just look at a map or find a church building very easily. plus sometimes weather issues or taxis are unavailable.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t like missing mass. I guess I could get dispensed but I feel like it’s a poor excuse. it’s just sports, I mean it does supply some income for me so I guess it’s kind of like working.

any ideas? I talked about quitting and they said I wasn’t committed to anything and they’re just really angry. my dad is technically catholic but he just doesn’t understand this. and my mom says I’m a bad example and inflexible on this and I’m the reason that she doesn’t want to get baptized and that beliving in god is not just about going to church. and how she’s a better person than me despite not being Christian.

I don’t know what to do. they also threatened to kick me out if I quit the team which I can’t afford to have happen right now.
 
Can you go to Mass on a Saturday evening, you might have to wait until your old enough to leave home to practise a Good Catholic Life, why don’t you talk to your local priest for starters, as there might be other things going on in the Church mid week that you might like to attend. Pray to the Lord, He understands.

All Blessings upon you.
 
My idea is always the same. Get a Spiritual Director to ask about these problems that you are reluctant to resolve.
Sorry dear. I will pray for you, I will.
You are in college. You need to start taking hold of your life. I understand that you are dependent on your parents because of your disability, but they have a duty to respect you as a person. Talk to your priest. You always say it’s not possible.
It’s time. Just do it.
 
Greetings,
Maybe while living at home and since your folks are not cooperating with your being able to attend mass in the physical sense you could attend mass on ewtn if you have that available to you on television. This may be your cross to bear so to speak and is certainly a good teaching for humility, patience, and compassion. Hope you find your way on the journey. Blessings.
 
pianistclare said:
My idea is always the same. Get a Spiritual Director to ask about these problems that you are reluctant to resolve.
Sorry dear. I will pray for you, I will.
You are in college. You need to start taking hold of your life. I understand that you are dependent on your parents because of your disability, but they have a duty to respect you as a person. Talk to your priest. You always say it’s not possible.
It’s time. Just do it.
Click to expand...
Perhaps the op can also branch out socially at school to meet new friends and develop interests outside of the family.
 
If you are 18 or older it is time to leave home. If it is too expensive in the city or state you live in now, look into going to another state where it is not that expensive. Also, check into what kind of assistance you can get as a person who is visually impaired.

If you are still a minor, start saving your money for the move out. You are obligated to obey your parents while living at home. But once you are an adult you are free to go. Don’t let fear hold you back. And if you have too, work two jobs to get started. I did, so did my sister. It can be done.

It is not easy, but in the long run it is better to start your own way of life if your family cannot let you practice your faith.
 
Hi angell,

Dear one, I would definitely talk to your pastor/parish priest about what is happening, too.

If you can’t get to Mass, could you see about getting on your parish’s home call list, so that you could receive the Eucharist at home? That would be an option. Another option would be to see if someone from your parish lives in your area and could pick you up and perhaps give you a ride to Mass? These are just some suggestions I am putting out there for you.

Prayers said for you.

God bless you.
 
For the well meaning folks (including the OP) who are considering a dispensation or Mass on tv…
those are extreme instances for people with extreme issues. Like ill and homebound. Like you must work on weekends so support your family.

If the OP is well enough to go to a sports event, there is no excuse for missing Mass. There would be no “dispensation” granted. She is not, to our knowledge terminally ill or bed bound, so Mass on tv would not replace her obligation. Maybe it would make one feel better, but if one is well enough for sports, jobs, college, and can go, one must go.
Now, if one cannot drive and your parents refuse to take you, there is no bus line, there is no sin incurred. But after a certain age…:whistle: you have to be your own person.

This is precisely why this is best addressed by a priest. I doubt a parent would look a priest in the eye and say the sports team comes first.

Even if the parents refuse to speak with the priest, there is nothing stopping the OP from beginning a dialog about this, and many other issues at home and at school that need to be addressed and resolved somehow. It’s not disrespectful to parents to seek out counsel from a priest.
 
sorry, I should probably specify.

this is only a problem if we go out of town for something

which is already difficult to find a place to go to mass if I have to go by myself since I don’t know my way around new cities.

i have talked to a couple of priests, they make it seem like no big deal. I’m sure i could get the dispensation pretty easily since apparently just reasons for being away include fear of getting lost which i definitely do have and unfamiliar with one’s area which is also a problem.

this has nothing to do with living at home. i can go to mass in my own city whenever i want

i thought my parents would be understanding at least as the coaches but clearly I’m wrong
 
So…this is another “problem” that you have decided already it’s not really a problem? :rolleyes:

At any rate,
The next time they say you have not committed to anything, say
“yes I have. I’m committed to being a practicing Catholic and it’s important to me”.
 
angell1 said:
i have talked to a couple of priests, they make it seem like no big deal. I’m sure i could get the dispensation pretty easily since apparently just reasons for being away include fear of getting lost which i definitely do have and unfamiliar with one’s area which is also a problem.
Click to expand...
You’ve gotten the best reply for your situation from a couple of priests. Who are we when you have priests to guide you? Be at peace.
 
pianistclare said:
So…this is another “problem” that you have decided already it’s not really a problem? :rolleyes:

At any rate,
The next time they say you have not committed to anything, say
“yes I have. I’m committed to being a practicing Catholic and it’s important to me”.
Click to expand...
when did i decide it wasn’t a problem?

i don’t understand what you mean.

you suggested that i talked to a priest, which i have done. it was made to seem mlike it wasn’t really a big deal
 
angell1 said:
sorry, I should probably specify.

this is only a problem if we go out of town for something

which is already difficult to find a place to go to mass if I have to go by myself since I don’t know my way around new cities.

i have talked to a couple of priests, they make it seem like no big deal. I’m sure i could get the dispensation pretty easily since apparently just reasons for being away include fear of getting lost which i definitely do have and unfamiliar with one’s area which is also a problem.

this has nothing to do with living at home. i can go to mass in my own city whenever i want

i thought my parents would be understanding at least as the coaches but clearly I’m wrong
Click to expand...
So, your own priests with whom you spoke have said that your missing Mass when your parents take you out of town for your and their work is not a problem.

Is your problem that you are asking for help with what to do when you miss Mass? We have times when we miss Mass and we have 1. Watched a recorded Mass; 2. prayed more; 3. read the Mass readings for that Sunday and also the homily Fr Charles Pope puts on his blog at the Archdiocese of Washington DC.; and I am looking into watching the Mass live. (Ask if you would like links to any of these.)

Or, are you asking about how to handle your parents’ attitude towards your Faith and towards you? There seem to be some difficulties there, too.

Are there other Catholics on the team(s)?
 
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