Problems at work - Christian advice?

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JoyToTheWhirled

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I’m having a tough time at work as a senior colleague has really taken a dislike to me. She is quite an abrasive character, constantly negative and her attitude seems to have solidified towards me these past few weeks. My Lent has been an extremely challenging one!
My behaviour at work is professional, friendly and cheerful ( I work in retail) and I try to be optimistic every day, but by the end of my shift I really feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me and I usually cry on the way home. As well as trying to have a good attitude, I am praying for her too, though it is difficult to get beyond “Father, please bless her”. Does anyone have any advice about how to approach this in a Christian manner? It’s my first job in a very long time and I am floundering.
 
This is a tough situation – prayers for you! Sounds like you are handling it the best you can! Any chance of getting a different job? Hang in there!!
 
The more a soul voluntarily accepts the cross the pain turns into delight all in the mode of God’s will. See that you not only try to accept this but want more of it. This type of denial will always lead to benefit, either delight or deliverance.
 
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May have mentioned this before, but when we draw very close to God, the prince of lies tries very hard to get under our skin. Miserable people are just that. MIserable,. Pray for her, she has serious issues, and if it goes as far as harassment, documents, and report.
 
JoyToTheWhirled said:
I’m having a tough time at work as a senior colleague has really taken a dislike to me. She is quite an abrasive character, constantly negative and her attitude seems to have solidified towards me these past few weeks. My Lent has been an extremely challenging one!

My behaviour at work is professional, friendly and cheerful ( I work in retail) and I try to be optimistic every day, but by the end of my shift I really feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me and I usually cry on the way home. As well as trying to have a good attitude, I am praying for her too, though it is difficult to get beyond “Father, please bless her”. Does anyone have any advice about how to approach this in a Christian manner? It’s my first job in a very long time and I am floundering.
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Offer the other cheek. Okay, I know that sounds a bit naive, and simplistic. But Christ suffered way more than you or I have.

To back track, it’s not saying look Jesus suffered, and so on. Bear with me (which is what we have to do during Lent. Bearing the pains and burden in the world.)

Perhaps, when you can, go before the Blessed Sacrament, Tabernacle, and Presence of Jesus. Asking Him to deliver from all that is happening to you. So you don’t despair and become despondent. Which is easy to do this Lent. Believe me. I’ve seen it. It’s the time of testing for sure. But, we have hope because Jesus is our first hand witness to it. Thus why He suffered and died through it all. For therefore, our Hope awaiting us at Easter.

Jesus will step on the serpents head. Because, He is the seed of Mary, who is a descendant of the old Eve (the mother of all the living.) So our hope is still there. Also pray the Rosary. Ask Mary’s intercession and help this Lent. I know, it’s easy and over simplistic. But, Mary, as we see in Revelation, was in Labor Pang. That is key. What did the trials and suffering Mary, do? It kept her closer to God as the grace she was given: "The Lord is with you (i.e. Immanuel.) And Mary later attests: "God my Savior (i.e. Jesus.)

So take care, take hope, and courage in Jesus’s Real Presence this Lent. he is there. And Mary at your side. Don’t give up. Keep praying. Set time aside for Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration. He will hear your prayers. He listens. And Mary at your side, you are in good hands. Bring it to Him and offer it up.

Happy Lent! Be Joyous. Our Hope grows nearer, than being afar, as Lent moves forward to Easter.
 
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You are doing all the right things. Good advice from pianistclare. Sometimes we have to let things unfold, the situation might change for any number of reasons. And just remember, isn’t better to be the person being mistreated, than be like her? She can never undo her mean deeds. My heart goes out to you, I’ve been there.
I hope you have someone to talk to when you get home, and cry if it helps. I’m rooting for you, and will say my Rosaries for you.
 
I think @pianistclare offered the most practical advice. Don’t engage. Document everything so if you need to report you can, and hang in there.

For your own personal strength in this time, I will offer you the advice a confessor once gave me when I was dealing with an individual who was treating me very poorly; he suggested that when I was feeling very attacked and upset by this individual’s treatment of me, I should take a few minutes and meditate on Jesus on the cross, and how he accepted such terrible persecution even knowing not only that he was speaking the truth but that he could have defeated them - but he didn’t because his suffering was for so much greater good. Offer your suffering in that moment to Jesus and ask for the strength he had on the cross.

You’re in my prayers. I know how difficult this type of situation can be.
 
Consider the life of S. Gerard. He grew to be a great saint, because he saw God in the tailor he work for as an apprentice. The tailor treated him with fury. I guess those people who look to the heavens are other minded then the world’s ways. He believed he deserved the treatment. And wanted it because it was the will of God. Do your best! If I were there I would accept you the way you are and support you, so that we both can be like S. Gerard.
 
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Thank you all so much. The colleague in question is now on holiday for a few weeks. Unbeknownst to me, one of my colleagues made a complaint about this person’s recent behaviour to me and my manager requested I give more details to him today. He wasn’t very happy to hear about it and will be speaking to the negative colleague on their return. I feel like I have been given breathing space!
 
Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed by thy name…

etc on to

For give me my trespasses as I forgive (insert name of colleague)
Lead us not into temptation etc.
 
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That shows it wasn’t just all in your head. I would definitely just be very honest with your supervisor about what is happening, and I would also advise you (as a long time manager myself) to keep a written record. There is no Christian obligation for you to take abuse at work when it interferes emotionally or otherwise with your thriving and being an excellent employee at that job.
It is one thing at work to screw up and receive appropriate criticism that can help you do better. It is something completely different when you receive abuse by a colleague that is harassment. All workplaces have built in checks for this, but you must be candid about it with your supervisor. You can certainly do this in charity.
 
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Don’t put up with this. It’s bullying and harassment. Defend yourself. I’d balance Our Lord’s command to ‘turn the other cheek’ with the command to admonish sinners. This person is sinning against you and I think it’s only right that you admonish her. I’m sure you’d defend a work colleague who was being bullied. Love your neighbour as yourself also means that you should love yourself as much as you’d love your neighbour in this situation. If you’d come to the defence of a work colleague who was being harassed, I think you should come to your own defence.
 
Love your name on here by the way, lovely play on words.

Tough one, I’ll pray for you too. I think your prayer is a great start, also ask for graces for yourself. That’s the big one so you can act kindly in each instance. I find when I am cross with my neighbours for waking me up slamming doors and other trivialities I ask for grace to think kindly and fondly of them rather than the grouchy grumpiness my nature inclines too. I also ask God for opportunities to do nice things for them, in particular things they won’t know I have done or especially that anyone has done. So like little penances for my grumpiness and sweet offerings to help me be nicer in thought and action. It has come to my attention, no doubt via God, that in order to love my neighbour it would help to know them a little and God provides such opportunities for meeting in the corridor and a quick chat etc… So perhaps you could talk to your colleague and establish a rapport and maybe know one or two things about her so as to ‘like’ her then maybe it will have a twofold approach in that she may be less hard on you and you may come to like her and/or understand the hardness of her approach and appreciate her reasons (not necessarily like them) so helping you tolerate it with love rather than anger/stress. Ask God to help you set up these occasions and He will help you, then just wait, pray and act when give the chances. God bless you.

Just saw your update about someone reporting her for her behaviour. That sounds like she will get some comeuppance for her behaviour. She still needs your prayers and forgiveness. We can’t ever know what causes a person to behave this way. I’m glad you have a break from the upset and stress of all this though.
 
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Love this post. I agree. Don’t engage. Document and report, if appropriate.
 
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Listen to this - closely - you crying, that hits home.
I think this video is well done -
Let me know what you think -
private message me, if you want, would be cool.
 
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BoyGenius said:
Offer the other cheek.
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Turn the Other Cheek – What Could Jesus Have Meant? Social Justice
The reason for this thread is to come to a better understanding of Jesus’ injunction to “turn the other cheek.” Some interpretations – including possibly the most typical one – imply that we ought to present no obstacle to evil. That interpretation, however, just seems incorrect because it entails disarming oneself in the face of evil. Intuitively, there seems something wrong with that as a long term strategy regarding maintaining a just society. I will make use of a number of individual comm…
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ratio1 said:
The reason for this thread is to come to a better understanding of Jesus’ injunction to “turn the other cheek.”
Some interpretations – including possibly the most typical one – imply that we ought to present no obstacle to evil.
That interpretation, however, just seems incorrect because it entails disarming oneself in the face of evil. Intuitively, there seems something wrong with that as a long term strategy regarding maintaining a just society.
I will make use of a number of individual comm…
Click to expand...
Jesus didn’t cooperate with evil, but His Father’s desire for our Salvation. Thereby did He suffer under the test to hate His enemy. On the Cross, His words: “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”

He offered His entire, soul, body, blood, and divinity - Himself - for our evils, our sins, and our crimes.

When someone does injury to another person, it’s a revolt against God. For the person, whom they attacked, hurt, or injured, is in the image, and after God’s likeness. Thus, when you hurt, attack, or injure someone, you attack the image and likeness of God. And since they attacked the Son, they attacked God fully Himself in the flesh.

When Jesus was struck for doing Good, and not Evil. He did not cooperate with evil. Rather, because He suffered, He did not go along with it. Another example would be Saint Maria Gorretti. She did not cooperate with Alfonso, who was making sexual advances to her. Instead, she refused. And in her complete refusal, she was stabbed to death. She in her last words, departed, forgave him.

Doing good and justice to the other, whilst they do evil to you, is what Christ is meriting through His word, His Salvation, His Mercy, and in His Justice. As we pray the Our Father: “…lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.” That’s offering it all to God. When you turn the other cheek, and offer it up. One would offer it up for the Glory of God, Who is love itself. Thus not doing nor cooperating with evil. But for the salvation of one’s soul. And that is what Jesus meant by offering the other cheek.
 
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Perhaps you should take your comments to the other thread — which was the reason I posted this link so that people are aware other people are discussing this topic.
 
ratio1 said:
Perhaps you should take your comments to the other thread — which was the reason I posted this link so that people are aware other people are discussing this topic.
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The topic of this thread: “Problems at work - Christian advice?” So, when Christ said “offer the other cheek.” I think that He is Christ. And since Christian means a follower of Christ. Therefore that was the advice I gave from what Christ said.

So that is exactly what I gave. And thus is related.
 
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