Problems Confessing

[Doorbell]

I try to go to confessions once a month but I don’t feel comfortable confessing. I feel like the priest is judging me and I end up leaving there feeling worse about what I’ve done then before. I mean I really feel like the guy is just looking at me like ‘‘You again? Yeah, you’re going to hell’’. I don’t know what to do. I plan on going to confessions this coming Saturday but I’m nerves about it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, peace.

 

[GracedUpon]

Perhaps you could look for another priest at another parish to go to for confession?

Being fairly new to the Church, I haven’t gone to Confession too many times, but I’ve definitely had some less than satisfying experiences. The way you feel afterward can really be affected by how good of a confessor the priest is.

God bless!

 

[LB5]

I used to get SO nervous. I was so scared for the longest time to confess certain things, mainly sexual type sins. It felt REALLY good once I got it off my chest though and each time after that it comes easier. I have found that I don’t go to my regular church though if I am feeling embarrassed. I’ll go to a different church in my town and confess to a priest that I don’t see every single week.

And this may sound silly, but I wear like, muted colors when I go, too. Once I wore a hot pink jacket and I was the only person there wearing that wild color. I know the priest probably didn’t even notice, but when I went to confess, I felt like he’s there saying Ohhhhh, I can see the pink reflection, I know who this is!!! Ha ha. Silly, but it makes me that much more comfortable and anonymous.

 

[LilyM]

I try to go to confessions once a month but I don’t feel comfortable confessing. I feel like the priest is judging me and I end up leaving there feeling worse about what I’ve done then before. I mean I really feel like the guy is just looking at me like ‘‘You again? Yeah, you’re going to hell’’. I don’t know what to do. I plan on going to confessions this coming Saturday but I’m nerves about it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, peace.

For one thing, remember that if your priest was so convinced that you were hellbound, he would NOT give you absolution in the first place.

It sounds like you go to confession face-to-face. I wonder if it may help to go behind the screen instead? That way it would be easier to remember that it’s really Christ you’re confessing to, the priest is merely the vessel through which the confession and absolution takes place.

Do you really think if you were directly in front of Him in bodily form, pouring your heart out to Him about your sorrow for your sins, that He would be so judgemental? Why then should it matter what the priest thinks?

Now a priest who has been one for any length of time would’ve heard an awful lot of confessions, in and out of the confessional, at deathbeds and such - and it’d be rare to find one who hasn’t almost literally heard it all. In the grand scheme of things are your sins really that likely to leave an impression? (Could be a bit of reverse pride going on there - ‘oh no, my sins are SOOOO bad …’ )

 

[Doorbell]

For one thing, remember that if your priest was so convinced that you were hellbound, he would NOT give you absolution in the first place.

It sounds like you go to confession face-to-face. I wonder if it may help to go behind the screen instead? That way it would be easier to remember that it’s really Christ you’re confessing to, the priest is merely the vessel through which the confession and absolution takes place.

Do you really think if you were directly in front of Him in bodily form, pouring your heart out to Him about your sorrow for your sins, that He would be so judgemental? Why then should it matter what the priest thinks?

Now a priest who has been one for any length of time would’ve heard an awful lot of confessions, in and out of the confessional, at deathbeds and such - and it’d be rare to find one who hasn’t almost literally heard it all. In the grand scheme of things are your sins really that likely to leave an impression? (Could be a bit of reverse pride going on there - ‘oh no, my sins are SOOOO bad …’ )

Wow, thanks. Really. And i’ve tried to do the behind the little wall confession but I’m pretty sure he still recognized me because the light was on and the room is sooo small. And the catholic church I go to is the only one in my little town.

 

[Genesis12345]

Your concepts regarding the sacrament of confessions are wrong. The priest does not have that kind of attitude. And, he is not going to tell you that you are going to hell. He is representing Christ and the Holy Spirit is there, too. He is there as a spritual director and whatever you confess, he is trained to tell you in those area of concern. I congratulate you on going to confession, because I believe that many Catholics do not believe that sin exists any longer; although the church rule is once a year unless you are in mortal sin. Look at the graces you are receiving. Blot out from your mind about the priest. He doesn’t care who you are and you are not offending him,k it is God that you have offended. Keep on going to confession you will feel great!

 

[Salonika]

I try to go to confessions once a month but I don’t feel comfortable confessing. I feel like the priest is judging me and I end up leaving there feeling worse about what I’ve done then before. I mean I really feel like the guy is just looking at me like ‘‘You again? Yeah, you’re going to hell’’. I don’t know what to do. I plan on going to confessions this coming Saturday but I’m nerves about it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, peace.

Doorbell - I may be totally off beam but sometimes I project onto other people how I am feeling, sometimes I am correct but other times I am way off about how the other person feels. Maybe you’re doing a bit of this.

Also sometimes I find it useful to think now if this was someone telling me this - how would I feel about it? what would I say to them? Often I find I would be much more understanding, forgiving, accepting than I am off myself.

And yes, I can emphathise with your comment about becoming more aware of the sins you have committed when you confess. Sometimes it just hits.

 

[Blade_and_Blood]

Go to a different priest for confession… it would be easier if you didn’t go every week.

But, there is an alternative. Instead of going to a priest in discomfort, you can pray and confess in the comforts and privacy of your own home. Do what I do, and write a letter to God. When you’re done, you can tear the paper, burn it, or save it for your own benefit. You don’t need confessions on paper unless you’re about to receive communion or confirmation.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

 

[Kolbelover]

I would suggest making an appointment to see your priest outside the confessional and have a heart-to-heart with him…tell him that you are having trouble…be honest. Tell him that you desire to live according to Church teaching and WANT to receive reconciliation, but you are having toruble with the concept of “in persona Christi”

This is a pastoral issue, i think… If he is like most priests I know, he will be touched that you would seek him out and ask for his help understanding the Sacrament of Reconciliation better

Be not Afraid…

 

[Ad_Deum_1]

Go to a different priest for confession… it would be easier if you didn’t go every week.

This probably isn’t the best advice for you…

Frequent confession is definitely a GOOD idea and will not only flood you with Sacramental Grace but also it will allow you to become more comfortable with the situation. Confessing our deepest sins to anyone is always difficult - but remember you are confessing them to Our Lord. The priest must give you the option of a confidential confession so if you are noticing that “behind the screen” doesn’t allow for that, perhaps bring it up to the priest (outside of the confessional) and I’m sure it can be taken care of.

I use to have the same fears as you and so I started mentioning them in my confession. Not that they are sins, but the priest will really be able to help you out more if he knows what you’re going through.

But, there is an alternative. Instead of going to a priest in discomfort, you can pray and confess in the comforts and privacy of your own home. Do what I do, and write a letter to God. When you’re done, you can tear the paper, burn it, or save it for your own benefit. You don’t need confessions on paper unless you’re about to receive communion or confirmation.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

As for this… I’m not really sure what Blade and Blood was trying to say. You don’t ever need confessions on paper but if you are in the state of mortal sin then you definitely need a sacramental confession.

Bottom line - Don’t avoid confession just because things don’t seem satisfactory. Talk to the priest if you need to.

 

[Joannm]

I would suggest making an appointment to see your priest outside the confessional and have a heart-to-heart with him…tell him that you are having trouble…be honest. Tell him that you desire to live according to Church teaching and WANT to receive reconciliation, but you are having toruble with the concept of “in persona Christi”

This is a pastoral issue, i think… If he is like most priests I know, he will be touched that you would seek him out and ask for his help understanding the Sacrament of Reconciliation better

Be not Afraid…

I would agree with this. I too had a great fear of confession until I had a talk with a priest about it - outside of the confessional. It really made me feel better about it.

 

[puzzleannie]

I try to go to confessions once a month but I don’t feel comfortable confessing. I feel like the priest is judging me and I end up leaving there feeling worse about what I’ve done then before. I mean I really feel like the guy is just looking at me like ‘‘You again? Yeah, you’re going to hell’’. I don’t know what to do. I plan on going to confessions this coming Saturday but I’m nerves about it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, peace.

[Edited]
work on correcting your false assumptions about this sacrament and the rest will fall into place.
the priest does not remember what you said last month or last week, is is not offering any judgement except about your sins themselves, he does not have the time, energy or inclination to speculate or comment in this way. You are confessing to Jesus and being absolved by Jesus, the priest is the mediator. Do you really think Jesus things and reacts this way? Spend time on a good examination of conscience and improving your prayer and sacramental life and do not allow yourself to be dominated by these useless and harmful emotions. Pray before the Blessed Sacrament or a crucifix and mediate on Christ’s suffering and act of love and mercy on our behalf, and you will soon lose these destructive feelings.

 

[CatholiCommit]

Most people have trouble with cofessing to a Priest, however the Church can not stress enough how important it is to make a confession as often as we can when we really need to, you are not the only one with this problem.

Priest are there to hear your confession as a way to be able to help you spiritually and give you guidance should need help in specific areas, maybe you should tell your confessor that you have trouble with confession, He wants to help you but you have to be willing to speak.

No need to worry about the Priest judging you on your confession, he is there to help you, this might sound a little strange believe it or not most Priest are there to help, some people feel this way too, but that is not the case most of the time.

If there is another Priest you can go to for confession, then do that

 

[Jack_245814]

Well if a priest actually gives off a hostile attitude than it’d be good to just get another confessor. Remember, though, that priests work very hard for fairly little pay, so sometimes they can be grumpy. They might seem gruff or uninviting, but they’re probably not even thinking about you; it’s just a demeanor that some develop. It’s very possible that it’s all in your imagination.

That said, I really think that confession is meant to be humiliating - that is, it is meant to humble you before God. It is somewhat embarrassing to tell the darkest facets of your life to a near-stranger, but I think that the sacrament is set-up this way for a reason. Confession is one of the best weapons to use in the battle against Pride, the deadliest of sins.

Just say your sins. Don’t think about it, just blurt them all out like a grocery list (though you should be repentant, of course). The priest may want some additional information, usually he won’t. Priests will also often give you good advice as to how to battle your demons. And then there is, of course, the whole goal of Confession in the first place: reconciliation with God.

Confession can be an uncomfortable ordeal at times, to say the least, but it’s a necessary one. Satan wants your embarrassment and fear to override your duty . . . ignore his temptation. Pray for strength, and God will help you: just as He sent one of His angels to smite the armies of the Assyrians in answer to the humble prayer of Hezekiah, so will He help you overcome the love of pride that leads you away from the Confessional booth.

It’s something we all face; God will help

 

[Nickkname]

I try to go to confessions once a month but I don’t feel comfortable confessing. I feel like the priest is judging me and I end up leaving there feeling worse about what I’ve done then before. I mean I really feel like the guy is just looking at me like ‘‘You again? Yeah, you’re going to hell’’. I don’t know what to do. I plan on going to confessions this coming Saturday but I’m nerves about it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, peace.

I feel the same, but I try to get myself to remember: I’m not talking to a Priest, I’m talking to Jesus through a Priest.