Problems with baptism, need suggestions

[helloWorld]

My wife and I have been attending the Basilica of St. Josephat in Milwaukee regularly for about two years. When I say regularly I mean every sunday, holy days of obligation, the occassional morning mass, bi or tri-weekly cofession, as well as contributing to the sunday collection and parish food pantry. So needless to say my wife and I considered the Basilica to be our home parish, despite having never formally registered there nor anywhere for that matter. We never saw the necessity to formally register and endure the extra hastle that comes with it in order to participate in parish life.

But then with the birth of our first child a month ago we knew from the bulletin that we would have to register to have our daughter baptised. Paraphrased the bulletin stated that basicly we had to register and attend a class and that baptisms usually took place on the second and fourth sundays of the month. But after registering we were told we had to pay a $50 dollar membership fee and be members for six months, the bulletin said nothing about this. It didn’t matter that we had been more active than probably half of it’s registered members (I’m making it up when I say more active than half, but I don’t see this as necessarily being a stretch) we still couldn’t have our child baptised until we were officailly registered for six months. To make it worse the six months doesn’t end until March during lent, which they don’t do baptisms during so we have to wait until easter.

We absolutely can’t believe this. Not only are they essentially making us pay for our child to recieve the sacraments, but they’re making us wait seven months to baptise our child when canon law states it should be done in first few weeks. “Can. 867 §1 Parents are obliged to see that their infants are baptised within the first few weeks. As soon as possible after the birth, indeed even before it, they are to approach the parish priest to ask for the sacrament for their child, and to be themselves duly prepared for it.”. Sure my wife and I are at fault that it wasn’t done during the first month, but we surely thought we would be able to get her baptised within two. And to make things even worse both my wife and I called and apparently talked to the same lady about it becuase our experience was almost identical. The lady wasn’t outright mean, but definately cold and seemed to have little concern for anything we had to say. Felt like I was talking to a government employee. Never would have expected to be treated like that by someone who worked in the parish offices.

So now my wife and I don’t know what to do and our looking for some suggestions? Waiting seven months to baptise a newborn baby in a familty that is very much practicing Catholics is out of the question. And while paying $50 dollars to join the parish isn’t a huge deal, we already paid it, it certianly seems to out of line with Catholic teaching to require such a fee and I don’t think anybody else should have to do so. Any suggestions on what to do or if anyone knows of any good parishes in the Milwaukee area that do stict to the teachings of the church without making us jump through hoops to get our child baptised in a timely manner please let us know.

 

[tamccrackine]

I’ll keep your family in my prayers.

I would talk to the priest himself and if that doesn’t work, I’d probably send a note or call the bishop. But I’d first try to find out why the requirements… I know, stupid question coming, but can people that are registered in the parish vouch for you? I’m not sure how large your parish is, but surely someone can say “yeah, they come all the time, help out here, here and here.” That’s got to stand for something.

Good luck with all this. Makes me glad that we’re military and our priests work with the families when it comes to the Sacraments.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My wife and I have been attending the Basilica of St. Josephat in Milwaukee regularly for about two years. When I say regularly I mean every sunday, holy days of obligation, the occassional morning mass, bi or tri-weekly cofession, as well as contributing to the sunday collection and parish food pantry. So needless to say my wife and I considered the Basilica to be our home parish, despite having never formally registered there nor anywhere for that matter. We never saw the necessity to formally register and endure the extra hastle that comes with it in order to participate in parish life.

But then with the birth of our first child a month ago we knew from the bulletin that we would have to register to have our daughter baptised. Paraphrased the bulletin stated that basicly we had to register and attend a class and that baptisms usually took place on the second and fourth sundays of the month. But after registering we were told we had to pay a $50 dollar membership fee and be members for six months, the bulletin said nothing about this. It didn’t matter that we had been more active than probably half of it’s registered members (I’m making it up when I say more active than half, but I don’t see this as necessarily being a stretch) we still couldn’t have our child baptised until we were officailly registered for six months. To make it worse the six months doesn’t end until March during lent, which they don’t do baptisms during so we have to wait until easter.

We absolutely can’t believe this. Not only are they essentially making us pay for our child to recieve the sacraments, but they’re making us wait seven months to baptise our child when canon law states it should be done in first few weeks. “Can. 867 §1 Parents are obliged to see that their infants are baptised within the first few weeks. As soon as possible after the birth, indeed even before it, they are to approach the parish priest to ask for the sacrament for their child, and to be themselves duly prepared for it.”. Sure my wife and I are at fault that it wasn’t done during the first month, but we surely thought we would be able to get her baptised within two. And to make things even worse both my wife and I called and apparently talked to the same lady about it becuase our experience was almost identical. The lady wasn’t outright mean, but definately cold and seemed to have little concern for anything we had to say. Felt like I was talking to a government employee. Never would have expected to be treated like that by someone who worked in the parish offices.

So now my wife and I don’t know what to do and our looking for some suggestions? Waiting seven months to baptise a newborn baby in a familty that is very much practicing Catholics is out of the question. And while paying $50 dollars to join the parish isn’t a huge deal, we already paid it, it certianly seems to out of line with Catholic teaching to require such a fee and I don’t think anybody else should have to do so. Any suggestions on what to do or if anyone knows of any good parishes in the Milwaukee area that do stict to the teachings of the church without making us jump through hoops to get our child baptised in a timely manner please let us know.

Well the woman you talked with probably gets 20 calls a week from people saying that they are Catholic and want their child Baptized.

I find it interesting that you know the Canon about Baptism but didn’t know that every Catholic must be registered in a parish, usually at least in the diocese they live in.

It is not uncommon for a parish to refuse Baptism, Childrens Sacraments, Marriage, Funerals to someone who is not registered in the parish.

Paying a registeration fee does not sit well with me however.

It may be their way of keeping people from showing up at the door requesting the Sacraments and then disapearing.

 

[helloWorld]

Well the woman you talked with probably gets 20 calls a week from people saying that they are Catholic and want their child Baptized.

I find it interesting that you know the Canon about Baptism but didn’t know that every Catholic must be registered in a parish, usually at least in the diocese they live in.

It is not uncommon for a parish to refuse Baptism, Childrens Sacraments, Marriage, Funerals to someone who is not registered in the parish.

Paying a registeration fee does not sit well with me however.

It may be their way of keeping people from showing up at the door requesting the Sacraments and then disapearing.

Poorly catechized growing up as most everyone else in my generation. So I became catechized with ewtn, relevant radio, and particularly Father Carapi in the last 3-4 years. Additionally I went from doing my undergraduate work in kansas city to coming to milwuakee for grad school. So that is why I tend to know something about baptism and not much about registration. Church registration is not discussed on relevant radio or ewtn like other issues/teachings are, in addition to being something students tend not to worry about.

 

[Philothea_2.0]

Well, I guess it’s too late now because you are already registered at the Basilica, but couldn’t you find out which parish you actually live in and talk to the priest there about the situation? I would think you’d get a more personal touch by talking to your local priest. Sounds like the Basilica may simply be too big to bend the rules – if they do it once, they have to do it for everyone, and the chaos created would be considerable.

 

[puzzleannie]

My.

We absolutely can’t believe this. Not only are they essentially making us pay for our child to recieve the sacraments, but they’re making us wait seven months to baptise our child when canon law states it should be done in first few weeks. .

If you baptized your child in your geographic parish, or in the parish where you are actually registered, you would not have to wait. You have chosen to change parishes, but you did not want the “hassle” of registering (filling out a form and accepting a box of envelopes is the probably extent of that hassle). Since you object to paying even the minimal amount of $1 a week in support of the parish, which is what they are asking, I assume that like many Cahtolics you want to worship in a space with lights, heat, AC, bathrooms and a roof that doesn’t leak, but you feel not obligation to contribute financially, even in a minimal token way, to proving that.

That being said, I suggest calling the department of the diocese that governs liturgy and sacraments and asking for a ruling on the particular law of your diocese (which intereprets and applies canon law). In this diocese parishes may not require parents to register if they reside within the boundaries in order to baptize a child, enroll in CCD etc. Nor are they allowed to apply any test of financial support.

also, I would make sure to speak to the pastor of the parish where you will baptize, not just the secretary. She is reading the requirements from a sheet of paper. He is the one who actually makes the decisions.

 

[Brenda_V]

As always Puzzleannie put the $50.00 registartion fee into perspective .

Now I am going to wonder about why you didn’t want to register either 2 years ago. The only hassle is getting a box of envelopes, mailings from the Parish for things that don’t end up in the Bulletin etc. Sounds like a win-win situation to me - but the horse is out of the barn so to speak and you are now registered.

The problem here is the Parish you have been attending has no written evidence of your attendance and support. So, you are now registered and have been told the “rule”, next time you call the office ask to speak with the Priest and ask him how you can have your baby Baptised soonere rather than later and don’t balk at the classes you must attend - you have no idea how many people I talk to who have balked at them and have no clue what the basics of the Sacrament of Baptism are all about! An interview with the Priest might get you “out of” the class as you can prove your knowledge (remember you even admitted you were poorly catechised so you might not have gotten all the information you need from your sources - you might have missed it or not really paid attention because at the time it wasn’t pertinent to you etc.)

So, like everyone else so far I am suggesting you call and set up an appointment with the Priest and express your concerns to him about the lengthy delay in getting baby baptised and then do what he tells you to do!

Brenda V.

 

[TAS2000]

I am from the general area, and the OP isn’t talking about just any local parish. The Basillica of St. Josaphat is HUGE, and very ornate, picturesque, however you’d want to say it. The Archbishop is there frequently, (and I can’t blame him since they destroyed the Cathedral in the renovation). From their website:

“The Basilica of Saint Josaphat is a Minor Basilica created by Pope Pius XI in 1929 (the third church so honored in the USA). It fulfilled the necessary characteristics required by the Church to be so designated. Namely: it is a place of pilgrimage and special devotion, it is a center of historic significance for the Faith, and it is architecturally and artistically qualified for such an honor. Patterned after St. Peter’s in Rome, it has all the elements of a classical Romanesque basilica. It is recognized by the city of Milwaukee as an officially designated landmark.”

Thousands of people go there, so unless the OP is SUPER involved (like spends 40 hours a week there) and on every commitee, I doubt anyone would know who he was. There is not one priest, but many, so I don’t know if he’d even be able to “talk to the pastor”. They recieve hundreds of requests for sacraments there from people who just want the location, so I can understand the hardline the staff person took. I have a friend who used to Cantor there regularly before she moved. I doubt anyone other than the music ministers even knew who she was, despite being there constantly. Certainly not all of the priests.

I can totally understand the policy of registration, although I know nothing about the “fee”. There would be no other way they could have even a modicum of faith that you would intend on being serious about the sacrament, rather than just another “I love the pretty church for the pictures” sort.

 

[puzzleannie]

one other point worth noting for parents and prospective parents and godparents, you can take the pre-baptismal class at any parish, and you can take them before the child is born. In this diocese you receive a card stating you have completed the classes, and they are “good” for at least 3 years. It is a good idea to get this out of the way before the birth, since you will be so busy, and possibly taking time to recuperate, afterward.

 

[helloWorld]

Well, I guess it’s too late now because you are already registered at the Basilica, but couldn’t you find out which parish you actually live in and talk to the priest there about the situation? I would think you’d get a more personal touch by talking to your local priest. Sounds like the Basilica may simply be too big to bend the rules – if they do it once, they have to do it for everyone, and the chaos created would be considerable.

I live just over five minutes from the basilica. Pretty sure it’s the closest parish to me.

 

[helloWorld]

As always Puzzleannie put the $50.00 registartion fee into perspective .

Now I am going to wonder about why you didn’t want to register either 2 years ago. The only hassle is getting a box of envelopes, mailings from the Parish for things that don’t end up in the Bulletin etc. Sounds like a win-win situation to me - but the horse is out of the barn so to speak and you are now registered.

The problem here is the Parish you have been attending has no written evidence of your attendance and support. So, you are now registered and have been told the “rule”, next time you call the office ask to speak with the Priest and ask him how you can have your baby Baptised soonere rather than later and don’t balk at the classes you must attend - you have no idea how many people I talk to who have balked at them and have no clue what the basics of the Sacrament of Baptism are all about! An interview with the Priest might get you “out of” the class as you can prove your knowledge (remember you even admitted you were poorly catechised so you might not have gotten all the information you need from your sources - you might have missed it or not really paid attention because at the time it wasn’t pertinent to you etc.)

So, like everyone else so far I am suggesting you call and set up an appointment with the Priest and express your concerns to him about the lengthy delay in getting baby baptised and then do what he tells you to do!

Brenda V.

I have no problem with classes, my problem is with a seven month wait, which is not right.

 

[helloWorld]

If you baptized your child in your geographic parish, or in the parish where you are actually registered, you would not have to wait. You have chosen to change parishes, but you did not want the “hassle” of registering (filling out a form and accepting a box of envelopes is the probably extent of that hassle). Since you object to paying even the minimal amount of $1 a week in support of the parish, which is what they are asking, I assume that like many Cahtolics you want to worship in a space with lights, heat, AC, bathrooms and a roof that doesn’t leak, but you feel not obligation to contribute financially, even in a minimal token way, to proving that.

That being said, I suggest calling the department of the diocese that governs liturgy and sacraments and asking for a ruling on the particular law of your diocese (which intereprets and applies canon law). In this diocese parishes may not require parents to register if they reside within the boundaries in order to baptize a child, enroll in CCD etc. Nor are they allowed to apply any test of financial support.

also, I would make sure to speak to the pastor of the parish where you will baptize, not just the secretary. She is reading the requirements from a sheet of paper. He is the one who actually makes the decisions.

I will definitely look into this. Thank you for pointing that out. Thank you everyone for your points of view and comments. Different perspective is good.

 

[MusicMan]

Since you object to paying even the minimal amount of $1 a week in support of the parish, which is what they are asking, I assume that like many Cahtolics you want to worship in a space with lights, heat, AC, bathrooms and a roof that doesn’t leak, but you feel not obligation to contribute financially, even in a minimal token way, to proving that.

Um, the OP did state that they regularly give to the Sunday collection.

 

[helloWorld]

If you baptized your child in your geographic parish, or in the parish where you are actually registered, you would not have to wait. You have chosen to change parishes, but you did not want the “hassle” of registering (filling out a form and accepting a box of envelopes is the probably extent of that hassle). Since you object to paying even the minimal amount of $1 a week in support of the parish, which is what they are asking, I assume that like many Cahtolics you want to worship in a space with lights, heat, AC, bathrooms and a roof that doesn’t leak, but you feel not obligation to contribute financially, even in a minimal token way, to proving that.

I didn’t have the chance to comment on this earlier, but I would like to do so now. As I said above actually paying $50 is not a big deal to my wife and I. However the principle of charging someone $50 to join a Catholic Church is absolutely ridiculous. Maybe you have not been exposed to low income families, but $50 is a huge hurdle to a lot of people. And the basilica isn’t exactly in a middle class neighborhood. I would guess there is a very small percentage of parishioners who do live in the immediate area, being that it resides in what has now become mostly hispanic neighborhoods and weekend masses are dominated by caucasions. There are enough people out there who have been financially enoughed blessed, including my wife and I, that no one should ever be obliged to pay a fee up front to register for a parish.

I’m pretty sure the basilica would be considered my geographic area. My drive is a little over 5 minutes. I came to Milwaukee a couple years ago for grad school and have set up permanent residence here. So no I didn’t actually decide to just up and change parishes. Registering never occurred to me as something I needed to immediately do. No one asked if I was registered when I came to mass or confession nor did they ask when I contributed to the sunday collection or the parish food pantry. It wasn’t a big deal in any of these cases. The bulletin simply says I need to attend a class and register. Nothing about a six month waiting period. Had I known this I would have been registered earlier in order to have my daughter baptised in a timely manner.

 

[TAS2000]

The Basillica is also about 15 minutes drive away from White Fish Bay, the lakefront, and a whole lot of other VERY upperclass areas. So if the “immediate area” is limited to 5 minutes, then yes, basically only hispanics would go there. However, as already stated, the Basillica is not just “a church” it is a historical landmark, and one of only about 50 some Basillicas in the US. There is going to be a ton of people who come and go just for a mass, rather like a tourist attraction. Also, there are AT LEAST a dozen different catholic parishes within 5 miles of the Basillica. It isn’t your only choice.

This sounds a lot like the argument once again is “I want to do this, but the mean old church has all these rules!” We go through this with weddings all the time too. Couple spends 2 years planning a wedding, rents the hall, get flowers, balloons, cakes, caterer, dress, and everything else, THEN finally comes to the church and demands to be married on such and such date because all the plans are arranged, only to find out they have to be …GASP, SHOCK!!! REGISTERED members of the parish, take a class that can last months, AND, can you believe it!!! Attend MASS regularly before hand to prove they are serious. It is readily known and accepted that there is a 2 year waiting list to use the hall at the country club, but the church should be ready to bend over backwards, for free, anytime they want, because after all, its CHURCH! OK, sorry rant over, and that was heavily laced in sarcasm as well.

Basically, the OP knows cannon law well enough to quote it: “Can. 867 §1 Parents are obliged to see that their infants are baptised within the first few weeks. As soon as possible after the birth, indeed even before it, they are to approach the parish priest to ask for the sacrament for their child, and to be themselves duly prepared for it.”. but convieniently fasils to grasp the bold part where they should have been preparing for this LONG before the actual birth. A six month wait would be long over by the time of the actual birth had they cared enough to look into this earlier. Now the church is a big bad heavy for not hopping to it with a few weeks notice, from some guy they never heard of who wants to skip the prep stuff just because he says he is a good guy. NOWHERE else would that fly, not even renting the local Mc Donald’s for a birthday party, but because it is church, it should be different.

Also, did you ask what the $50 fee was for? MANY times we hear on these boards where people will say they had to pay a fee, when really it is a suggested dontaion that will be readily waved in cases of hardship. Was the fee for registration, or for the baptism classes? Was it to help cover the costs of the envelopes? the bulletin?

This whole thread is full of holes. If you want any sort of realistic solution, you need to talk to someone seriously at the parish. Not just a quick call, but make an appointment and really explain the situation. That’s the only way you are going to get this resolved.

 

[MusicMan]

Is a membership fee or registration fee even allowed under Canon Law? Charging a fee to register in a parish, when Catholics are supposed to be registered, seems really improper.

 

[helloWorld]

The Basillica is also about 15 minutes drive away from White Fish Bay, the lakefront, and a whole lot of other VERY upperclass areas. So if the “immediate area” is limited to 5 minutes, then yes, basically only hispanics would go there. However, as already stated, the Basillica is not just “a church” it is a historical landmark, and one of only about 50 some Basillicas in the US. There is going to be a ton of people who come and go just for a mass, rather like a tourist attraction. Also, there are AT LEAST a dozen different catholic parishes within 5 miles of the Basillica. It isn’t your only choice.

This sounds a lot like the argument once again is “I want to do this, but the mean old church has all these rules!” We go through this with weddings all the time too. Couple spends 2 years planning a wedding, rents the hall, get flowers, balloons, cakes, caterer, dress, and everything else, THEN finally comes to the church and demands to be married on such and such date because all the plans are arranged, only to find out they have to be …GASP, SHOCK!!! REGISTERED members of the parish, take a class that can last months, AND, can you believe it!!! Attend MASS regularly before hand to prove they are serious. It is readily known and accepted that there is a 2 year waiting list to use the hall at the country club, but the church should be ready to bend over backwards, for free, anytime they want, because after all, its CHURCH! OK, sorry rant over, and that was heavily laced in sarcasm as well.

Basically, the OP knows cannon law well enough to quote it: “Can. 867 §1 Parents are obliged to see that their infants are baptised within the first few weeks. As soon as possible after the birth, indeed even before it, they are to approach the parish priest to ask for the sacrament for their child, and to be themselves duly prepared for it.”. but convieniently fasils to grasp the bold part where they should have been preparing for this LONG before the actual birth. A six month wait would be long over by the time of the actual birth had they cared enough to look into this earlier. Now the church is a big bad heavy for not hopping to it with a few weeks notice, from some guy they never heard of who wants to skip the prep stuff just because he says he is a good guy. NOWHERE else would that fly, not even renting the local Mc Donald’s for a birthday party, but because it is church, it should be different.

Also, did you ask what the $50 fee was for? MANY times we hear on these boards where people will say they had to pay a fee, when really it is a suggested dontaion that will be readily waved in cases of hardship. Was the fee for registration, or for the baptism classes? Was it to help cover the costs of the envelopes? the bulletin?

This whole thread is full of holes. If you want any sort of realistic solution, you need to talk to someone seriously at the parish. Not just a quick call, but make an appointment and really explain the situation. That’s the only way you are going to get this resolved.

Did you have a bad day? I tell my story, raised a couple objections (registration fee and seven month wait for baptism), and asked for suggestions of what to do and for information regarding other parishes in the area. And you come back with that. My story is full of holes??? You pulled a CNN job on what I wrote, twisting it, adding your assumptions and then piecing it together in order to fit what I’m betting was a preconcieved argument before you even finished reading everything I wrote.

In the first paragraph what are you arguing about? You’ve taken two seperate topics that I was talking about and combined them into one to argue I don’t know what. A quick glance will show you that I mentioned “hispanic neighborhood” in the first paragraph and “five minutes” in the second. The fact that it was seperate paragraphs should be an indication that they weren’t on the same topic.

My mention that I was about five minutes from the Basilica was in response to the person who questioned why I didn’t baptize my child in my geographic area. It had nothing to do with saying the immediate area was limited to five minutes. According to google maps I live 2.4 miles from the basilica. Add a couple stop lights to that 2.4 miles and that’s just a little over five minutes, which I believe makes it my geographic parish.

The comment about the basilica being in a low income hispanic neighborhood was made to demonstrate how ridiculous a $50 dollar registration fee is. The church is for the most part encircled by low income hispanics, yet few attend mass there. And while there are probably many reasons for this, I was trying to get at that a $50 dollar registration fee is a hurdle to alot of these people. And before you go assuming I don’t know anything about low income hispanics, I have you know that I happen to be married to one.

No I didn’t ask what the $50 dollars was for. It doesn’t matter to me what it’s for, it is uncalled for. You said yourself middle-upper class people drive from all over to attend the basilica. You telling me these people do not donate enough to cover the bills and prevent a $50 registration fee. The sept 16-17 collection netted them $7,751.00 according to the bulletin, which doesn’t sound like a struggling parish to me. And maybe I’m wrong and it was really only a suggested donation. I just found the envelope that said $50 dollar REGRISTRATION FEE on it to be quite convincing, but maybe I’m just gullible.

If you noticed above I did my research and referenced google maps and the church bulletin to support my points. Hmmm…perhaps I did my research and looked up the cannon law on baptism to support my objections of waiting seven months for baptism. Yes I was aware that parents are suppose to do baptise their children soon after birth as I think I mentioned that I am a regular listener/viewer of relevant radio/ewtn. No I did not know word for word what the cannon law said prior to this. I used google to find exactly what it said. I thought you would prefer to see the actual cannon law than to just have me say ‘the church says children are suppose to be baptized soon after birth’.

My wife and I informed the church(meaning scheduled it with them) and the priest over a year in advance of our wedding. A little less than a year out we approached the priest about starting marriage prep and were told to wait a few more months before starting. We ended up meeting with the priest 4-6 times. He informed us that he was making it optional whether we attended the class that the parish required to be married. We attended anyway. Does this sound to you like I would not have expected to have to attend preparation for baptism. And did I not state earlier that registration never seemed like something that needed to immediately be done. Pretty sure somewhere above I also mentioned what the bulletin stated about baptism. And despite that fact I’m pretty sure someone will come along and say something like ‘he knows what the bulletin says but he doesn’t know he’s suppose to be registered with the parish’, I’m going to qoute the bulletin exactly.

“Sacrament of Baptism
Parents must be registered parishioners and after attending a preparation class, may schedule their child’s Baptism. The Baptisms usually take place during a Sunday Mass on the second Sunday of each month and after the 12:00pm Mass on the fourth Sunday of each month. Adults seeking Baptism and/or entry into the Catholic Church are invited to participate in the parish RCIA program.”

Did you read that. Registered member and attend preparation class. Nothing about six month wait. Had it said six month wait I would have registered six months ago. I register, attend one time class, and I can have my daughter baptised. That’s what it says. However you’re right I should have intuitively known that I would have to wait six months for registration to have an infant baptised. The period in her life where she is the most vulnerable and she is going to have to wait seven months to be baptised? Perhaps I missed were it stated one shall wait six months after registration before their baby can be baptised in the Catechism.

To finish up I never said the basilica was my only choice. I said it was the parish that my wife and I had made our home over the last two years. And I also recall asking for suggestions about parishes in the Milwaukee area. But maybe I should just take you advice and pick one out. I mean there are dozens of parishes on the south side all of which are guaranteed to promote solid catholic teachings and to be loyal to the magisterium. Man it was crazy of me to come to a catholic forum and to share my story which is entirely full of holes in the first place an effort to recieve some actual advice from other catholics about something that is weighing heavily on our family’s hearts, when we could just go to any parish down the street and have everything solved. I mean I’m just trying to pull a fast one on the old catholic church in the first place making up stories as I go along. Crazy me. Thank you for your support. And that was heavily laced with sarcasim as well.

 

[Julianna]

Did you have a bad day? I tell my story, raised a couple objections (registration fee and seven month wait for baptism), and asked for suggestions of what to do and for information regarding other parishes in the area. And you come back with that. My story is full of holes??? You pulled a CNN job on what I wrote, twisting it, adding your assumptions and then piecing it together in order to fit what I’m betting was a preconcieved argument before you even finished reading everything I wrote.

In the first paragraph what are you arguing about? You’ve taken two seperate topics that I was talking about and combined them into one to argue I don’t know what. A quick glance will show you that I mentioned “hispanic neighborhood” in the first paragraph and “five minutes” in the second. The fact that it was seperate paragraphs should be an indication that they weren’t on the same topic.

My mention that I was about five minutes from the Basilica was in response to the person who questioned why I didn’t baptize my child in my geographic area. It had nothing to do with saying the immediate area was limited to five minutes. According to google maps I live 2.4 miles from the basilica. Add a couple stop lights to that 2.4 miles and that’s just a little over five minutes, which I believe makes it my geographic parish.

The comment about the basilica being in a low income hispanic neighborhood was made to demonstrate how ridiculous a $50 dollar registration fee is. The church is for the most part encircled by low income hispanics, yet few attend mass there. And while there are probably many reasons for this, I was trying to get at that a $50 dollar registration fee is a hurdle to alot of these people. And before you go assuming I don’t know anything about low income hispanics, I have you know that I happen to be married to one.

No I didn’t ask what the $50 dollars was for. It doesn’t matter to me what it’s for, it is uncalled for. You said yourself middle-upper class people drive from all over to attend the basilica. You telling me these people do not donate enough to cover the bills and prevent a $50 registration fee. The sept 16-17 collection netted them $7,751.00 according to the bulletin, which doesn’t sound like a struggling parish to me. And maybe I’m wrong and it was really only a suggested donation. I just found the envelope that said $50 dollar REGRISTRATION FEE on it to be quite convincing, but maybe I’m just gullible.

If you noticed above I did my research and referenced google maps and the church bulletin to support my points. Hmmm…perhaps I did my research and looked up the cannon law on baptism to support my objections of waiting seven months for baptism. Yes I was aware that parents are suppose to do baptise their children soon after birth as I think I mentioned that I am a regular listener/viewer of relevant radio/ewtn. No I did not know word for word what the cannon law said prior to this. I used google to find exactly what it said. I thought you would prefer to see the actual cannon law than to just have me say ‘the church says children are suppose to be baptized soon after birth’.

My wife and I informed the church(meaning scheduled it with them) and the priest over a year in advance of our wedding. A little less than a year out we approached the priest about starting marriage prep and were told to wait a few more months before starting. We ended up meeting with the priest 4-6 times. He informed us that he was making it optional whether we attended the class that the parish required to be married. We attended anyway. Does this sound to you like I would not have expected to have to attend preparation for baptism. And did I not state earlier that registration never seemed like something that needed to immediately be done. Pretty sure somewhere above I also mentioned what the bulletin stated about baptism. And despite that fact I’m pretty sure someone will come along and say something like ‘he knows what the bulletin says but he doesn’t know he’s suppose to be registered with the parish’, I’m going to qoute the bulletin exactly.

“Sacrament of Baptism
Parents must be registered parishioners and after attending a preparation class, may schedule their child’s Baptism. The Baptisms usually take place during a Sunday Mass on the second Sunday of each month and after the 12:00pm Mass on the fourth Sunday of each month. Adults seeking Baptism and/or entry into the Catholic Church are invited to participate in the parish RCIA program.”

Did you read that. Registered member and attend preparation class. Nothing about six month wait. Had it said six month wait I would have registered six months ago. I register, attend one time class, and I can have my daughter baptised. That’s what it says. However you’re right I should have intuitively known that I would have to wait six months for registration to have an infant baptised. The period in her life where she is the most vulnerable and she is going to have to wait seven months to be baptised? Perhaps I missed were it stated one shall wait six months after registration before their baby can be baptised in the Catechism.

To finish up I never said the basilica was my only choice. I said it was the parish that my wife and I had made our home over the last two years. And I also recall asking for suggestions about parishes in the Milwaukee area. But maybe I should just take you advice and pick one out. I mean there are dozens of parishes on the south side all of which are guaranteed to promote solid catholic teachings and to be loyal to the magisterium. Man it was crazy of me to come to a catholic forum and to share my story which is entirely full of holes in the first place an effort to recieve some actual advice from other catholics about something that is weighing heavily on our family’s hearts, when we could just go to any parish down the street and have everything solved. I mean I’m just trying to pull a fast one on the old catholic church in the first place making up stories as I go along. Crazy me. Thank you for your support. And that was heavily laced with sarcasim as well.

My heart goes out to you and your family. The $50 is ridiculas and you and your wife were very gracious about paying it. Both of my children were baptized around 10 months of age. We were registered at the parish. We knew we had to attend baptism prep classes, my sister, the Godmother also attended, my DH brother could not, but we rec’d a letter from his parish priest in Detroit. Our problem wasn’t the church building, it was the priest. We wanted the priest that married us, to baptize our son. What a nightmare. Letters, permissions, paperwork, just to have a baby baptized 30 miles away. I was glad the priest that married us, made it clear to the priest at our parish, that it was just a small thing and to get over it. Our new priest was a crumudegeon and possibly bi polar… So anyway our son was baptized by the priest we wanted. When it came time for my daughter, a new priest (a breath of fresh air) came to the parish, and he decided he wanted baptisms done “during” mass. My DH and I wanted it private on a Saturday afternoon. Our new parish priest was very gracious and asked if Monsignor would help us out. He was delighted…it was a win win. (by that time the priest who married us had was sent further away)

It all depends on who is running things as to how they go. I am sorry you all had to go through the red tape. Been there, done that. I understand what you all meant by hassles. It’s not about the envelopes, or mailings. I get ya.

As for canon law…it is weilded heavily on these forums. I have had several whacks of it myself. But I’m a weeble, I just pop up again.

 

[Marian_Carroll]

For those using the “backquoting” option in their posts please give a look-see to: Forum Rules-Conduct #5. “Do not post lengthy replies (especially replies that consist largely of quotes from an earlier message).” and post accordingly.

Thanks for your help.

 

[axolotl]

The sept 16-17 collection netted them $7,751.00 according to the bulletin, which doesn’t sound like a struggling parish to me.

It does to me. My modern parish needs $18,000 a weekend to keep up with expenses. I’m sure a grand church like that would cost even more to heat and maintain.