Procedural question regarding stipend for baptism

[AnotherChance]

We are having a private baptism for our infant. I understand that it is customary to provide a stipend for the priest. How should we give this to the priest? Should we give it to him at the preparation meeting we are having next week? Or on the day of the baptism before or after the actual event? Or some other way?

I appreciate all of the help I have received on this forum. As a convert, there is so much that I don’t understand, especially in terms of customs that just seem to come naturally to those raised in the faith.

 

[kristie_m]

I make it a point to do it the day of the baptism, before the actual event takes place. The stipend is really more of a gift, than a payment for services rendered.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

We are having a private baptism for our infant. I understand that it is customary to provide a stipend for the priest. How should we give this to the priest? Should we give it to him at the preparation meeting we are having next week? Or on the day of the baptism before or after the actual event? Or some other way?

I appreciate all of the help I have received on this forum. As a convert, there is so much that I don’t understand, especially in terms of customs that just seem to come naturally to those raised in the faith.

A thank you note after the Baptism is usual here, it can contain a personal gift of some sort. A small stipend ($) is usual but it could be something else.

 

[Joannm]

In our parish we ask for a voluntary donation to the parish. Most give something but the amount varies. The priest gets a stipend from the parish not from the parents of the infant whether or not the parents give a donation. So if the parents give a stipend to the priest that would be on top of what he gets from the parish. Since mostly all of our private baptisms are done by visiting priests, they do not get a stipend from the parish, so I would guess a gift stipend is in order.

 

[StrawberryJam]

If someone is going to do music for this, should something be given for them also?
I know one lady in the parish I go to gave an envelope to the woman who played violin for her child’s baptism in addition to the priest.

 

[kristie_m]

If someone is going to do music for this, should something be given for them also?
I know one lady in the parish I go to gave an envelope to the woman who played violin for her child’s baptism in addition to the priest.

I think it would depend on whether you do it during a Mass or not. If it is during a Mass, and the regular choir is present, I would so no, not necessary. However, if you are having a musician come in just for the baptism, then yes, a gift would be appropriate.

 

[AnotherChance]

Thanks everyone. It appears that I could either give the stipend to the priest before, or in a thank you note after. I was not aware that it would also be good to give a separate donation to the church itself. My uncle (by marriage) is going to be the godfather, as he is the only practicing Catholic that we know. So this will actually be the first child baptized Catholic in my fallen-away Irish side of the family in at least two generations.I would appreciate any prayers for this infant, Benjamin Xavier.

 

[zab]

Thanks everyone. It appears that I could either give the stipend to the priest before, or in a thank you note after. I was not aware that it would also be good to give a separate donation to the church itself. My uncle (by marriage) is going to be the godfather, as he is the only practicing Catholic that we know. So this will actually be the first child baptized Catholic in my fallen-away Irish side of the family in at least two generations.I would appreciate any prayers for this infant, Benjamin Xavier.

There is no need to give a separate donation to the church particularly if this is the church that your regularly attend and support (unless of course if you really want to.)

 

[MusicMan]

When I was in high school, I played Taps for a number of Veterans’ funerals. When I got to the gravesite, the Funeral Director greeted me, and shook my hand. Tucked between his thumb and the palm of his hand was my stipend for playing. No one knew but us. A very informal, but exceptionally subtle way to handle it.

When my daughter was baptized, I employed the same method to give our priest our stipend/gift. Most successful, and again, oh, so subtle.

 

[Joannm]

There is no need to give a separate donation to the church particularly if this is the church that your regularly attend and support (unless of course if you really want to.)

It still is a good idea since the parish has expensed involved whenever the church is used outside of regular times. In our parish we pay the sacristian, sometimes clean up is needed, then there are the candles and bibs and we also give out holy water in little bottles. There is also the expense of materials for the prep class. So a small donation to the Church would be appropriate.

We ask all baptism families for a donation. It runs the gammut from 10 - 500 dollars, whatever one feels like giving. Only a few don’t give and those are usually the people who never come to church.

 

[StrawberryJam]

Thoughts for Benjiman Xavier going out to your family during this time, and you will find the way. I am very happy for your family that this child is so loved to worry so much over it’s very first moments of life. This child has good people that love him. That should be enough for anyone, let alone the very loving Jesus who you intrust him to. Don’t worry so.
Enjoy this baby and learn to see life through a child’s eyes. When you do that, nothing is ever the same again.