Processing my return to the Church

[Unique_name]

As to your house: contact a priest and explain the horrific crime and the odd spiritual happenings there.

We did that! Thank you.

 

[Legend]

I’d try looking at your time away from the church not as just being ‘bad’, but as part of a process and a journey.

You were missing something, and have found it. It’s not good to blame yourself for everything. Instead of looking back, look ahead to being a part of the church again, this time asa moe mature person. Yes, sins must be confessed, but you resolve not to commoi them again. Once you confess, you’re forgiven. Don’t dwell on past sins.

Just look forward to your new life.

Oh…on a practical note…if your cat hasn’t been neutered/spayed, have that done. Urine from an ‘unfixed’ cat always smells worse!

 

[GiftofMercy]

Our house was a murder scene.

I have lived in one house that had a triple murder and another that experienced pretty evil goings on. Love and blessings chases evil away and brings God into the house. Remember at Mass
“Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul will be healed”
Yes its about the soul but also about allowing God to enter your home and dwell there.

Strange things can be a coincidence. With your cat, please take it to the vet to run blood work and investigate for kidney and UTI issues. Is it male or female? Fixed or entire? And is it possible you have a rodent problem in the house somewhere?

What I am surprised by is the way I feel now.
You’d think I’d be bursting with joy or something but all I feel is depressed.
It means I have to come to terms with the fact that for seven years, I was wrong about something very important.

To heal we need to forgive those who have hurt us, and very importantly, to forgive ourselves. We make choices, some wrong, some right, some good some bad. We need to forgive ourselves for what we regard as wrong choices.
This does not mean though, that we are instantly happy and bursting with joy. It can still take a very long time to grief and process the hurt. Forgiveness is that first step. Please forgive yourself . You are not defective. You are a creation of God. You have worth in God’s eyes. God loves you.

 

[MarysLurker]

My depression lies in the knowledge that anyone (me) can put a great deal of thought, of reason, of prayer into discerning what the truth is, and be wrong.
Do you see the difference?

I’d imagine that’s how St. Paul felt. Often it’s the people who’ve made the most mistakes that turn out to be the greatest saints. I know it’s easy to say that but hard to actually apply it to yourself. It’s like a wound that takes time to heal.

The devil often tempts me by saying, “if only you had done things different.” I wasn’t raised a Catholic even though half my family is Catholic. Sometimes I get to regretting that I wasn’t raised in the Church, and wondering if my life could have been better had I been. But then I realize that we are the choices we make and the experiences we have. I would have been a different person. A lot of my friends who were raised in the Church have abandoned their faith. I could have been one of them. You have to learn to forgive yourself and accept who you are, and that God loves you and wants you to be who you are, right here and right now.

You mention depression several times. When I was going through a hard time in my life I was helped by St. Dymphna.. Ask her to help you if you feel like you can’t shake the down.

Congratulations again and God bless! Hang in there. Everything will work out.

 

[adf417]

My depression lies in the knowledge that anyone (me) can put a great deal of thought, of reason, of prayer into discerning what the truth is, and be wrong.

I started a thread a while back questioning this very idea and i dont think it ever went anywhere. The idea - can we actually reason our way away from God.

Sense we believe we cannot, through reason alone, reach God, that is without faith, for me it follows we cannot, through reason alone, leave God.

I would like to get others opinion on this given the current context-

Peace!!!

 

[Hobgoblin]

I can’t explain how you got it wrong while honestly seeking. People do this all the time though. Probably some pride, even if you couldn’t see it. Look at all the Protestant churches teaching conflicting things and all sincerly believe they are right. Even Catholics on this forum find things to disagree about. How can it be? I wouldn’t worry so much about it though. The important part is that you are back. I recently returned after 40 years. I rebelled in my heart around 7-8 and checked out completely by 11 after divorce destroyed my home life. Like you I was drawn to Protestantism as a teen and became convinced Catholicism was all wrong. Over the years I travelled through a variety of Protestant and Charismatic churches, spent time as an atheist, and was firmly agnostic when I was unexpectedly drawn back. It seems I was in the right spot at the start… 40 years wasted. Well, it could have been better spent for sure, but everything is a learning experience and all works together for good with those that love God.