Progress! Advice needed

[28562]

I’m not going into all the details again, as I just don’t have the time…but they are there in other threads if anyone doesn’t know what I am talking about.

Last night, my wife gave me a gift of love. It was not an easy thing to do for her and I respect her feelings and I have a lot of compassion for the issues she is dealing with. I understand them (and myself) better and better on a daily basis. The fact that she went out of her way to do something that is not easy for her for the sole reason of making me happy and expressing love to me is an overwhelming feeling. I ALWAYS *know *that she loves me and always has…but today, I *feel *that love SO strongly. It is simply amazing. I can’t keep my mind off of her today and work is very difficult to focus on…
I have *known *for a while that it is not a physical thing that I need, it is all the emotions and love that goes along with it, but I have NEVER felt it as strongly as I do today. It is almost impossible to describe how loved I feel today–and it has nothing to do with anything physical…which is where one of her big hangups is. She has a hard time seeing it as more than just fulfilling a physical need. So, HOW can I help her to understand what this means to me and reassure her that it’s not her body that I crave? We need to get past this issue and I believe we’ll be on a road to healing. I just wish she could get in my body and feel the way I feel today for 5 minutes…then she would understand. This feels like the way it is supposed to feel!

Prayers and advice are greatly appreciated!

 

[Schieffelin]

I’m glad to hear things are getting better. Keep going to counseling and get a copy of Gregory Popcak’s book “Holy Sex!” and read it together. He discusses in detail exactly some of the issues your wife is facing with her view of sex.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I’m not going into all the details again, as I just don’t have the time…but they are there in other threads if anyone doesn’t know what I am talking about.

Last night, my wife gave me a gift of love. It was not an easy thing to do for her and I respect her feelings and I have a lot of compassion for the issues she is dealing with. I understand them (and myself) better and better on a daily basis. The fact that she went out of her way to do something that is not easy for her for the sole reason of making me happy and expressing love to me is an overwhelming feeling. I ALWAYS *know *that she loves me and always has…but today, I *feel *that love SO strongly. It is simply amazing. I can’t keep my mind off of her today and work is very difficult to focus on…
I have *known *for a while that it is not a physical thing that I need, it is all the emotions and love that goes along with it, but I have NEVER felt it as strongly as I do today. It is almost impossible to describe how loved I feel today–and it has nothing to do with anything physical…which is where one of her big hangups is. She has a hard time seeing it as more than just fulfilling a physical need. So, HOW can I help her to understand what this means to me and reassure her that it’s not her body that I crave? We need to get past this issue and I believe we’ll be on a road to healing. I just wish she could get in my body and feel the way I feel today for 5 minutes…then she would understand. This feels like the way it is supposed to feel!

Prayers and advice are greatly appreciated!

I have often wondered why God made men and women seem so different in this area. I say “seem” because really, we ALL get emotional satisfaction from sexual intimacy, it just seems that men desire differently than women.

Treat her like your queen today. Talk to her in intimate ways. Use words, gifts, gestures, all of the love languages at your disposal. You are going to have to SHOW her how happy you are, in ways that let her know it’s NOT just about the sex. Not going to be easy but you can do this.

If you can tell us, you can tell her.

 

[1inICXC]

I have often wondered why God made men and women seem so different in this area. I say “seem” because really, we ALL get emotional satisfaction from sexual intimacy, it just seems that men desire differently than women.

Treat her like your queen today. Talk to her in intimate ways. Use words, gifts, gestures, all of the love languages at your disposal. You are going to have to SHOW her how happy you are, in ways that let her know it’s NOT just about the sex. Not going to be easy but you can do this.

If you can tell us, you can tell her.

Great advice here and just wanted to add that I’m thrilled to hear this! Blessings!