Prolife obituary for miscarriage

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Hi, dkoinzan. I just found this thread today, & I have been so moved by it. I loved your obituary tribute to your beautiful son. It is so touching, & has such a powerful pro-life message. I agree with you & the other people posting here that it is sorely needed in our culture of death. A year or two ago, a woman who had suffered a miscarriage wrote to Anne Landers for help. Anne expressed sorrow for her loss, but went on to say something about the loss of her pregnancy. She then compared this to the pain of infertility & said it’s so difficult when someone so wants a baby & “can’t produce one.” I went ballistic, then I calmed down & wrote her the most charitable E-mail I could. I mentioned our contraceptive mentality, though, so I’m sure she considered me a freak. She certainly didn’t print my rebuke. That couple lost a baby, not a pregnancy! Can you imagine our great- grandparents discussing infertility as being “unable to produce one”?
Embryos are objects for our gain, whether it’s therapeutic cloning or an actual human embryo bank in San Antonio…Anyway, I so agree with you & appreciate your witness that you are continuing to give. 10 years ago my husband & I suffered a miscarriage at 12 1/2 weeks. (I think we mention the # of weeks because it has meaning for some people, & is one of the prescious few details we have of our children. I don’t agree with the sentiment that the farther along you are the deeper your pain is- I think that’s a very individual thing…) I can’t imagine your family’s pain losing two children in 1 year, & I will pray for you.
luvmyblessings, Monicad, holly potter’s family & the Dad who’s wife just miscarried are also in my prayers. holly potter, your poem is beautiful! It will make your mom cry “happy tears” like it did me…
 
Baby Joseph’s Due Date is April 13th. Pray for me and my family as we draw closer
 
dkoinzan said:
Baby Joseph’s Due Date is April 13th. Pray for me and my family as we draw closer
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We definitely will be praying for you and your family, with the help of your little saints Joseph and Theresa!
 
I was only 4-5 weeks pregnant with Bella Marie when I miscarried. Her father and I had split up when I found out I was pregnant. This was in 03. He didn’t find out about Bella until a year or so ago. I just didn’t have the strength to tell him. He is still mourning, as am I. I thought I had “moved on” (what a term…) until Good Friday.
My prayers are with you.
 
PatienceAndLove, I’m really sorry for your loss. You were suffering with Jesus & Mary on Good Friday & They remain closest to in your pain. Bella Marie is a beautiful name for a beatiful baby. All of heaven loves her & is grateful to you for every day that you are able to shoulder your cross.

dkoinzan, you are also taking part in the redemptive power of suffering. I will say a prayer for you & your family today on your Baby Joseph’s due date.
 
PatienceAndLove said:
I was only 4-5 weeks pregnant with Bella Marie when I miscarried. Her father and I had split up when I found out I was pregnant. This was in 03. He didn’t find out about Bella until a year or so ago. I just didn’t have the strength to tell him. He is still mourning, as am I. I thought I had “moved on” (what a term…) until Good Friday.
My prayers are with you.
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It has to be hard to go through the death of a child alone. I am so sorry. I should have responded sooner. I will pray for you. I don’t move on, so to speak. My babies are my babies, from the biggest to the littlest. I don’t move on, I learn to love more. It is odd how my love for Joseph Marie and Theresa has grown just as the love for all my children has. What has really struck me lately is that so many people in the prochoice movement say they want the choice. Ok… I want the choice to give birth to live babies. I have seen the pictures of the babies disguarded from abortion and they look just like the dead babies I gave birth to and wanted desparately to keep alive.
 
dkoinzan said:
Baby Joseph’s Due Date is April 13th. Pray for me and my family as we draw closer
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I am so sorry to read about your loss, and yes, I will be praying for you. When we had our last miscarriage, as the day of Gerard’s due date drew near, the pain seemed unbearable. This was supposed to be a time of great rejoicing, getting the bags and baby’s 1st outfit all packed, timing contractions, etc. All that I had was a baby in a grave. I couldn’t kiss his check, or tuck him in, even once, and it tore me apart. I know how hard it is to endure the loss of a child through miscarriage. After I had my first one, a week later I was talking to a friend, and started crying. Her response? You are still crying about that??? I felt like there was something wrong with me that I would still be so sad. She apologized years later, which helped. I couldn’t understand why I was so sad, why I couldn’t sweep my pain under the rug. Then one day, as I was flipping through tv channels, a woman on a Christian show was talking about her miscarriage. She was saying that people don’t understand what you are going through - I didn’t before mine. She pointed out that as soon as you find out you are pregnant, you are excited, trying to figure out if it is a boy or a girl based on how you are feeling, you are picking out names, dreaming about holding them, longing to feel that first kick. Then, you have them in Kindergarton, on their first date, graduated from high school, and then their wedding day - the most beautiful bride or handsome groom in the world- or even a religious on their final vows day, and soon if they are married, they are bringing your sweet grandbabies to you to hold and care for. You dream of all of these things, and are so excited at this new life and plans that have become such a part of you, and then one day, it is gone. That child is gone, with all of the hopes and dreams for their future, and you are left with such an empty place, a hole in your heart that nothing else can ever fill, because that place in your heart was reserved just for them and their lives. And, they were perfect and beautiful, because they are your baby 🙂 So, it is normal to grieve their loss, because you have lost a part of your life and heart forever. Yet, in dealing with my own losses (3 children), I have learned that there are some spiritual truths to our children’s short lives.
God placed them in our lives, and they carried out their task, and now they are gone to Heaven with Him. God put them in our hearts for the time that they needed to be here, and now they are gone to their reward. I really feel that our children pray for us. When I am down sometimes, I will see twins (our 1st miscarriage was twins), or I see the name Gerard, and I just know that these are God’s signs that they are praying for me/us. Before I had my first miscarriage, I tried to be a good person, smile at people, be kind, etc. But after I lost them, I became determined that I had to get my soul right with God so that I could be with them at last in Heaven, along with my other children. I know that they prayed for me to get right in my own spiritual life so that I could be with them when I died:)
We cry for them, and long for them on this earth, but they are most likely sad for us that we are not in Heaven yet, enjoying the peace and love of Heaven with them. They are our successes, they are our blessings, they are our victories! We are blest to have had them!
We suffer down here with sickness, heartache, etc., they don’t 🙂
When I became pregnant with Gerard, God said one word to me. “Triplets.” So, when we went in for a first ultrasound, I just knew that I was pregnant with triplets. But, there was only one baby. After he had died, as I was laying on the couch a few days later, God said “You have triplets in Heaven.” I know that He did that for me so that I didn’t blame myself for his loss. It was just his time to be with God.
I got into my Bible as I struggled and tried to come to terms with the loss of my beautiful babies. One of the verses that I came across said “The death of the righteous is precious in the sight of the Lord.” I couldn’t figure that out for the longest time. Then, a couple of months ago, God hit me with the realization of what that meant! When our babies our born, we gasp and ooooh and aaahh over how beautiful and precious they are are. In Heaven, they do the same thing with us when we are born into our new lives with God! God, and Mary, the angels and saints all gasp, and ooohh and aahhh over how beautiful and precious we are! We are truly born into new life 🙂
God is so good, and I long for the day that I can at last be with all of my children in Heaven, since a part of my heart and dreams are already there with the Church Triumphant.

God bless you so much. He is with you. Trust in Him to get you through this. Your sweet babies are praying for you as well. Let all of them comfort you 🙂
 
What a beautiful post, Jesus1. I’m really sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage as well, & I can’t imagine losing more than 1 baby as you & dkoinzan have. I can tell that God is working through you.
 
There are times when I can feel little Joseph and Theresa so close to me. I know they have reached heaven and are storming heaven for their earthly Momma. I know I am blessed to have two little Saints. Sometimes these two children give me great peace. They are a blessings. Sometime I feel increadible sorrow because I can’t hold them and smell them and feel them in the same way I can with their brother and sisters. I know how precious life is. I know there are no replacements for a life. I now know with all my heart how priceless every single person is. It is amazing that each person was given life for the salvation of the world. All of us have a part to play. The day I was conceived was not by chance. The day in witch each soul was give life was in God’s design. How Awsome!!!
 
v1gilbert said:
I thought the Feast of the Holy Infants was to pray for the babies killed by Herod. If it is applicable to miscarried and aborted babies please respond back. My wife just miscarried over Thanksgiving and I really feel this feast day could help me to commemorate my baby annually.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Please tell your wife that my prayers are with both of you. Be gentle with yourselves during this time. When I first had a miscarriage, I felt like I would never be able to be happy again, but there will come a day where it gets easier.
Keep your eyes on God during this time, and ask your little angel to pray for you, and us!

God bless
 
mmm1 said:
What a beautiful post, Jesus1. I’m really sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage as well, & I can’t imagine losing more than 1 baby as you & dkoinzan have. I can tell that God is working through you.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sorry for your loss as well

God bless
 
Baby Joseph’s due day was April 13th. I ask St. Theresa for a rose to say that my baby was in heaven. I recieved a rose bush from a friend.

Baby Theresa’s headstone was installed this week. She was stillborn last Mother’s Day.

Pray for me and my family. We hope to spend Mother’s Day working on our memorial garden.
 
dkoinzan said:
Baby Joseph’s due day was April 13th. I ask St. Theresa for a rose to say that my baby was in heaven. I recieved a rose bush from a friend.

Baby Theresa’s headstone was installed this week. She was stillborn last Mother’s Day.

Pray for me and my family. We hope to spend Mother’s Day working on our memorial garden.
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You are all in my prayers. God bless you for your being open to life like you are. When I lost my children, I had opened myself up to God’s will, to the gift of all life, not just what was convenient for me. Then, I realized that by saying yes, I also said yes to the possibility of miscarriages/loss as well. Each and every one of us is here on this earth to carry out our purpose - to get ourselves and our loved ones to Heaven. Some of us are called to do our job, and we are finished after just a couple weeks or even months in our Mother’s wombs, and then some of us are called to live it out for 100 years or more. As we contemplate the early loss of our loved ones, just be at peace that God is truly in control, and that He knows what is best for us, but even more importantly, our littlest loved ones. Sometimes in my own life, we are going through a hard time of waiting for job situations, etc., but then it hit me one day, it isn’t always about me -even though I learn a lot during that time by staying close to God, reading His Holy Word and going to daily Mass, it is also for our children. God has done the most loving thing possible for our sweet ones in Heaven as well:) We have to trust His perfect will for them.
By being open to life, you have endured the loss of your sweet unborn babies, but, I praise God for you, because you gave those children a chance to be alive, and to finally be at peace with Him in Heaven. There are so many people (I was one of them when I first got married - so I feel like I can freely say this), who feel like they are in charge, and they are only going to have their perfect number of children, and no more. I’ve asked people since then what if God wants them to have 4 children? What then? They just don’t care about God’s will. Perhaps these people are obedient, and have their 4 children, but only 2 live. They endure the early loss of their other 2, but, they have the peace and comfort of knowing that they are perfectly in the will of God. Since I opened myself up to His will for the number of children that I have, I have so much more peace with myself, I like myself more knowing that God is happy with me. When people are rude to me about the number of children that I have, I still have such an abiding peace within myself, knowing that I only have to please one, and that is our Heavenly Father! So, praise God that He gave you the grace, the true gift! of being obedient and open to all!! of the children that He wanted to bless you abundantly with:)
So, praise God through your tears, I do that lots as well
Plus, a part of you now resides in Heaven, we are one inch?(if that could be a good term) closer to being with God and our loved ones again.

God bless you again:thumbsup:
 
It occured to me that God had us struggle to give birth, so to struggle with the death of these children is only natural. I am so thankful for all my children. Thank you Jesus1. It is so seldom in the course of the day do I get encouraged to be open to life. Most people have the idea that the deathes of these two babies is God’s way of saying no more children. I know that God never has asked anyone to be closed to life. I am willing to have as many children as God wills. I began hormone tests today. I pray that God’s will be done.
 
dkoinzan said:
It occured to me that God had us struggle to give birth, so to struggle with the death of these children is only natural. I am so thankful for all my children. Thank you Jesus1. It is so seldom in the course of the day do I get encouraged to be open to life. Most people have the idea that the deathes of these two babies is God’s way of saying no more children. I know that God never has asked anyone to be closed to life. I am willing to have as many children as God wills. I began hormone tests today. I pray that God’s will be done.
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It takes true courage to continue to be open to life, especially after the loss of your 2 little ones. You are truly a witness to me as well.
I will be praying for blest results with your hormone tests:)

God bless, and keep the Faith, the best place to be (even if not the easiest), to be in the arms of our Dear Lord, and His wonderful Catholic Church:thumbsup:
 
Today I found myself wondering through the baby items. I miss those precious babies. Holding their lifeless bodies was the hardest thing I have ever done. How anyone could deliberately kill an unborn child is unfathomable. I know in my heart those children are in heaven, and that is consolation, but I still miss them. Sometimes I miss them so much that it hurts to breath. I can’t even fathom what it would be like for a women who chose to kill her child. The pain would be unbearable.
 
After dealing with our last miscarriage, a little boy in my second trimester, I went to Confession a lot!!! One time, I told the priest that I just couldn’t seem to bear the pain of my loss at time, it was so great. He told me that it is much worse for women who have abortions, which surprised me. Yet, it makes sense, since miscarriage is something forced upon you, while in abortion you choose the death of your own flesh and blood. In talking now with several women who have come back to the Catholic Faith after having abortions, they say that they know that through dreams, private revelations, etc, that their babies have prayed them into the Catholic Faith after their deaths. It is hard for them when they realize what they have done, but their depth of sorrow and contrition when God gives them the grace to realize what they have done, and to still see how their own children forgive them, love them and pray for them is an amazing thing. Now these women speak openly about their experience and tell women not to have abortions. I just see how through our prayers for these women, God can soften their hearts and turn something so ugly and horrible into something so healing and helpful to so many others.
When you think of your loss, perhaps offer it up so that women that are abortion-minded will choose life for their unborn babies. You might just end up saving quite a few people physically and spiritualy through their change of hearts. God can work in mysterious ways.
God bless you. Also unite your suffering and loss to the suffering she endured on Jesus’s way to Calvary. Talk to her. She understands everything that you are experiencing and dealing with.
 
dkoinzan said:
Today I found myself wondering through the baby items. I miss those precious babies. Holding their lifeless bodies was the hardest thing I have ever done. How anyone could deliberately kill an unborn child is unfathomable. I know in my heart those children are in heaven, and that is consolation, but I still miss them. Sometimes I miss them so much that it hurts to breath. I can’t even fathom what it would be like for a women who chose to kill her child. The pain would be unbearable.
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i have thought of you recently. i am so sorry that your grief is so strong. having so many things surrounding you may hurt more now, but you will be assured that you will be able to truly grieve by being presented with it on a daily basis. it wont be something that comes out later that was never dealt with.

i lost my first child, a son, Devin, when he was 2 mos old just over 17 years ago. losing a child is the toughest pain and sorrow that a person can ever experience. i still feel sorrow, and for many years it was impossible to see diaper commercials, etc… I have gone on to birth 3 daughters and they are so precious to me.

Find refuge in your children- they will get you through. God remains our strength, and through Him, we can do great things.

May God bring peace to your family.
 
We lost our baby Noel in December 2006. I was 12 weeks pregnant but his/her tiny body was only measuring 7 weeks, 5 days on the ultrasound. We buried him/her at our city’s local Catholic cemetery and had a graveside service for him/her, as well as a memorial Mass.

I miss him/her every day. 😦

Prayers for all parents who have lost a child, born or unborn.
 
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