Promising to raise children outside the Church

[SarahR]

Can a catholic enter into a sacramental marriage to a baptized non-catholic Christian in the following scenario? I’ve searched for answers but come up empty-handed.

The catholic party promises (to the other person, just prior to becoming engaged) that any children would be raised in the other person’s church, NOT catholic.
At the pre-marriage meeting with the deacon the catholic signs the “solemn pledge”, but knows the only way the children will realistically become catholic is if the non-catholic converts someday. The catholic deacon does not ask any questions, just sees that the paper is signed. Marriage ceremony takes place with catholic deacon as witness to the vows.

This was a grave and deeply regretted error on my part back about 11 years ago, I was 21 or so and not practicing my faith at the time, blinded by “love” etc. <<editing to add: yes I know this basically amounts to lying to the deacon/church to get what I wanted >> Currently divorcing.

I’m wondering if this would be a case of “valid but illicit”.

I’ll ask my priest about this after the holidays, but would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks!

 

[1ke]

You need to talk to your priest.

I honestly don’t know if this lie might be a defect of consent/intent rendering the validity in question. Perhaps one of the canon lawyers will post on here. But, other than a canon lawyer weighing in on this I suggest you talk with your priest. The rest of us would merely be speculating.

 

[CatsAndDogs]

Can a catholic enter into a sacramental marriage to a baptized non-catholic Christian in the following scenario?

The catholic party promises (to the other person, just prior to becoming engaged) that any children would be raised in the other person’s church, NOT catholic.

At the pre-marriage meeting with the deacon the catholic signs the “solemn pledge”…

Contact a Canon Lawyer, which I think you can do, somehow, via CAF.

I’d say, with no authority whatsoever, that you didn’t enter into a sacramental marriage due to lying.

But check with a canon lawyer.

:shamrock2:

 

[FrDavid96]

All I’m going to say is this: When you begin your petition for the declaration of nullity, be SURE to put that on the form. As for any “expansion” on that, talk to the person who’s assisting you with completing the forms.

 

[puzzleannie]

objectively the Catholic party in the hypothetical case presented in OP committed a grave sacrilege by make a solemn promise when he signed that paper with the deacon with the intent to break it, and must confess that fact. Subjectively, there may have been all kinds of pressure put to bear at the time, or the Catholic party may have been misinformed as to the nature of the promise so there is no way except with a priest in confession for an individual to know if he actually sinned in a given situation. Such a person should see his priest at the earliest opportunity for pastoral counselling on this and related issues in his marriage. There is also no definitive way to judge the validity of a given marriage w/o laying all the facts before the priest and following his judgement, including a tribunal investigation if necessary.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Can a catholic enter into a sacramental marriage to a baptized non-catholic Christian in the following scenario? I’ve searched for answers but come up empty-handed.

The catholic party promises (to the other person, just prior to becoming engaged) that any children would be raised in the other person’s church, NOT catholic.
At the pre-marriage meeting with the deacon the catholic signs the “solemn pledge”, but knows the only way the children will realistically become catholic is if the non-catholic converts someday. The catholic deacon does not ask any questions, just sees that the paper is signed. Marriage ceremony takes place with catholic deacon as witness to the vows.

This was a grave and deeply regretted error on my part back about 11 years ago, I was 21 or so and not practicing my faith at the time, blinded by “love” etc. <<editing to add: yes I know this basically amounts to lying to the deacon/church to get what I wanted >> Currently divorcing.

I’m wondering if this would be a case of “valid but illicit”.

I’ll ask my priest about this after the holidays, but would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks!

You should speak with your priest after the divorce is final and explain the details to him.

 

[dans0622]

Dear SarahR,

Your situation is *almost *the same as one dealt with in one of my classes. In class, though, the other party was not baptised. That makes a big difference.

The answer to your question is “yes”–it is *possible *for a valid marriage to arise from the situation you presented to us. In order for a marriage to be invalid, there needs to be:

an impediment or
a defect in marital consent or
a defect in form

Did you have one of these problems? Well, the form seems ok. There weren’t any impediments, apparently. So, we are left with consent. This is always the hardest area to address without having lots of information and testimony. Based on what you said, I have my own opinion but it’s basically worthless, since there is more to your story. I could speak about a hypothetical situation but this isn’t hypothetical.

Anyway, this is a complicated case and you’ll need to talk to a canon lawyer in your diocese. He/she will need much more information in order to know how, exactly, to proceed.

God bless you.

Dan

 

[SarahR]

Yes, I have in the past year spoken to my priest about my grave error and received counseling about that. Specifically the issue about validity did not come up though.
Thank you for the responses thus far.

 

[dans0622]

Yes, I have in the past year spoken to my priest about my grave error and received counseling about that. Specifically the issue about validity did not come up though.
Thank you for the responses thus far.

That’s good. Your pastor, though, might not be able to give you a good answer about validity, if he is not trained in canon law. So, he may direct you to someone else working in the diocesan tribunal. Also, keep in mind that no process of actually declaring your marriage null will proceed until your civil divorce is finalized and the Church is sure that there is no chance of reconciliation between you and your husband. So, at this point, all you would get is advice/opinion…nothing formal.

Dan

 

[SarahR]

Yes Dan, thanks.
It was one of the reasons I had doubts, even on the wedding day. I have never been able to find more information about a situation like the one I got myself into. I’m fine with waiting to find out but have always been curious.