Proper attitude towards alcohol and discernment

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Caesar

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I won’t dance around the subject here. As a 17 year old discerning a vocation to the priesthood, what should my attitude towards alcohol be?

It would be a lie to say that I have never drank. I’m 17, I have been to parties (although more and more I am finding them to be just plain disgusting), and I do (or did: prior to beginning to pursue a vocation) have a social life. And a teenage social life means alcohol.

I know that the Church does not condemn drinking alcohol, except in drinking for the wrong reasons. Is it wrong for me to drink now or in the future as one discerning a vocation?
 
Hey, if you do become a priest you’ll be drinking on a daily or near daily basis, so you may as well get used to the taste now 😉

Nothing wrong with enjoying the occasional social drink - most of the priests I know do so.
 
Caesar said:
I won’t dance around the subject here. As a 17 year old discerning a vocation to the priesthood, what should my attitude towards alcohol be?

It would be a lie to say that I have never drank. I’m 17, I have been to parties (although more and more I am finding them to be just plain disgusting), and I do (or did: prior to beginning to pursue a vocation) have a social life. And a teenage social life means alcohol.

I know that the Church does not condemn drinking alcohol, except in drinking for the wrong reasons. Is it wrong for me to drink now or in the future as one discerning a vocation?
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No you should not be drinking alcohol now. I do believe that the Church does condemn your drinking of alcohol as it is illegal.

When you are of age there is nothing wrong with some drinking as long as it is not in excess and not “for the wrong reasons”, as you put it.
 
What about smoking cigars? I do that every once in awhile, no drinking though. Is that ok?😦
 
I have a 19 year old who does not drink because there is alcoholism on both sides of the family. He is high risk. As one underage you should not be drinking now. But you also need to evaluate your risk factors.
 
You can have a social life and not drink. I did it…somehow I didn’t know of anyone drinking till senior year of high school. Maybe I was more sheltered…in any case, it is completely possible. I went to college and joined a sorority and still didn’t drink till I turned 21. Granted, it might be a little tougher for guys, but I know guys that have done it and they are some of the more “popular” guys I know. You can do it. I have faith in you. 👍
 
Caesar said:
I won’t dance around the subject here. As a 17 year old discerning a vocation to the priesthood, what should my attitude towards alcohol be?

It would be a lie to say that I have never drank. I’m 17, I have been to parties (although more and more I am finding them to be just plain disgusting), and I do (or did: prior to beginning to pursue a vocation) have a social life. And a teenage social life means alcohol.

I know that the Church does not condemn drinking alcohol, except in drinking for the wrong reasons. Is it wrong for me to drink now or in the future as one discerning a vocation?
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at 17 you should not be using alcohol, it is illegal, which means it is also sinful. If your social life revolves around alcohol, whether you are 17 or 37, you need to get some new friends. The Church does condemn breaking civil laws regarding drinking.
 
Your attitude towards alcohol should be the same as any other good Catholic’s. Don’t drink it when under age. If you have drank it, go to confession and resolve to not drink while under age any more. When you are old enough, enjoy in moderation if you so desire, as it is not a sin to drink in moderation. Similar sort of thing goes for cigars. However, I think there is research that says that cigars are bad for your health, you may want to consider. Good luck with your discernment.
 
Flopfoot said:
Your attitude towards alcohol should be the same as any other good Catholic’s. Don’t drink it when under age. If you have drank it, go to confession and resolve to not drink while under age any more. When you are old enough, enjoy in moderation if you so desire, as it is not a sin to drink in moderation. Similar sort of thing goes for cigars. However, I think there is research that says that cigars are bad for your health, you may want to consider. Good luck with your discernment.
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Ok, thanks for the info, although it wasnt me who asked about cigars 😉

I dont smoke and I already has lung problems to begin with. No point on making it worse.
 
Well I myself rarely drink, and even when I do its not to the extent that I would get drunk. For the most part alot of things are allowed so long as it is in moderation 🙂
 
My favorite move quote:
“This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption… Beer!”
  • Friar Tuck, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves,
Our Lord was called a glutton and a drunkard, His first miracle involved 6 large stone jars of wine, He turns wine into His body, blood, soul and divinity; surely there are times to partake!
 
Hey there,

Everyone answered your question quite well. I just wanted to comment on one thing you said…
Caesar said:
It would be a lie to say that I have never drank. I’m 17, I have been to parties (although more and more I am finding them to be just plain disgusting), and I do (or did: prior to beginning to pursue a vocation) have a social life. And a teenage social life means alcohol.
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Discerning a vocation to the priesthood does not mean you don’t get to have a social life. No one is requiring you to cut your social ties and stop talking to your friends. In fact, if you have a good group of friends who are supporting you and helping you in your discernment, you need to stick with them. They’ll be a great asset as you go through the process and figure things out.

As far as ‘a teenage social life means alcohol’… My high school days were only a few years ago, and there was a lot of alcohol around back then (and a lot of other stuff, too). And there’s a lot of pressure to drink. But seriously, you don’t have to. I didn’t, and a lot of other people (more than you’d expect) didn’t either. It’s going to sound cliched and corny, but the people who are really your friends won’t pressure you to drink and won’t care if you refuse. Those who want to practically force it on you are the ones to avoid, because once they get you doing that, they won’t hesitate to pressure and force you to do something else, and will probably pressure you harder on the next thing.

My rule was always simple. When I was with a small group of my close friends, and some of them were having a drink or two (usually with parent’s permission), I would hang around and just not drink. When I was in a larger group, or with people who are drinking to get hammered/throw up/pass out, I took off. Don’t need to be around that.

Just be patient. You’ll be 19 soon enough… 😉
 
Caesar said:
I won’t dance around the subject here. As a 17 year old discerning a vocation to the priesthood, what should my attitude towards alcohol be?

It would be a lie to say that I have never drank. I’m 17, I have been to parties (although more and more I am finding them to be just plain disgusting), and I do (or did: prior to beginning to pursue a vocation) have a social life. And a teenage social life means alcohol.

I know that the Church does not condemn drinking alcohol, except in drinking for the wrong reasons. Is it wrong for me to drink now or in the future as one discerning a vocation?
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The more the merrier is my philosophy…Drink away!

Just kidding. First, I would say that as a person under 21 you should not be drinking. I realize this is difficult when attending parties and such, but I can say from experience that it is definitely entertaining to be part of a small group of people who is sober at a party where everyone else is drunk. Makes for some good stories and maybe even some good blackmail info. 😉
 
Here is another vote for 17 year olds should not drink and should not be condoning drinking by other 17 year olds. Believe me, I know that this puts a damper on the social life. Starting a life of alcohol abuse that young can put a damper on life, period.

I do not only mean to point out that teens who drink are far more likely to die in a car accident. I do not only mean that one of your friends could be like the teen in Portland, who was tragically killed by police after he got drunk when depressed, got so out of control after his friends took him home that his mom called 9-11, and then was shot when he refused to drop the knife he was holding when he turned back towards his parents’ front door.

There is a big discussion here in Portland about how the police might train differently to prevent similar tragedies, as well there should be. There is practically no question that if that young man, a nineteen-year-old just graduated from high school, had not been drunk that night, he would be alive today.

No, I also mean that adolescence is when many alcoholics are made. If you don’t drink, there will be someone for those who would abstain if they weren’t the only ones doing so to socialize with. If you don’t drink, there will be someone who is the example that defies the lie, “Everyone does it, it must be okay.”

Underage drinking is not OK. Nobody of any age, IMHO, should drink if they think their social life in any way requires it. My dad is nearly eighty years old and has a bourbon and a beer nearly every day for most of his entire adult life. I have never seen him drunk, and I don’t know anyone who has. He says that anyone who can’t give up alcohol entirely for Advent and Lent shouldn’t drink at all. He’s right.

If you think you have a vocation for the priesthood–and I hope you do!–think about that. At any rate, you have a vocation to witness the Gospel, by virtue of your baptism. Most often, that witness will be to other Catholics, and their witness will be to you. Think about that, too.
 
Hey Caesar! Have you ever thought about this?

pioneertotal.ie/pioneer/fc?action=intro

My husband and I do this. I had the same worries. I finally concluded it was a stupid thing to get all scrupulous about and just gave it all up for the intentions of the society. You can do it on a short term basis, too. Plus, hello, a cool pin to wear!👍
 
Trelow said:
Legal age in Canada is 18 or 19 depending on the province.
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That does not change the fact that at 17 one drinks alcohol in violation of the law.

I would think that this could (and maybe should) be used as a sign that either the vocation to the religious life is not present or that one has some maturing to do.

If one would casually disregard a civil law to socialize (and one can assume that this is done to “feel good”) then why should it be believed that one would keep all the vows, promises, and laws that are a part of religioius life especailly when some of them involve personal sacrifice and are not of the “feel good” sort.
 
justme said:
I would think that this could (and maybe should) be used as a sign that either the vocation to the religious life is not present or that one has some maturing to do.

If one would casually disregard a civil law to socialize (and one can assume that this is done to “feel good”) then why should it be believed that one would keep all the vows, promises, and laws that are a part of religioius life especailly when some of them involve personal sacrifice and are not of the “feel good” sort.
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Nah, I think that is a little harsh. He probably will break his vows on many occassions. I break mine sometimes when I am short with my husband, when I get neglectful or resentful and what-have-you, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a calling to a married vocation. Self discipline improves over time with practice and dedication.
So, Caesar, just stop drinking. It is stupid for such an intelligent young man to drink. And think of how nice a bouquet it would make for Our Mother if you offered up those temptations when you are in a near occasion when alcohol is offered and you decline.
Wow. I am so a mom!
 
Whoa, slow down there… Jumping to a lot of conclusions, aren’t we? Let’s go point by point…
justme said:
That does not change the fact that at 17 one drinks alcohol in violation of the law.
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No, the drinking age in Canada is irrelevant to the fact that he’s 17 and drinking. All that poster was pointing out is to all the people saying, ‘wait until you’re 21 and legal,’ that he only has to wait until he’s 19 and legal. That post was an aside, not the topic.
justme said:
I would think that this could (and maybe should) be used as a sign that either the vocation to the religious life is not present or that one has some maturing to do.
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Or maybe it’s a sign that he is maturing and he is taking his discernment and calling seriously. Remember, he didn’t come here to say he plans to drink no matter what the law says. He came here to admit that he’s done it in the past, and isn’t sure that he should continue. Sounds like he’s realizing that breaking civil law is wrong in this situation, and was looking for advice on/confirmation of his suspicions.
justme said:
If one would casually disregard a civil law to socialize (and one can assume that this is done to “feel good”) then why should it be believed that one would keep all the vows, promises, and laws that are a part of religioius life especailly when some of them involve personal sacrifice and are not of the “feel good” sort.
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This paragraph was a bit much… Number one, you cannot assume he or anyone else drinks to ‘feel good’. Some do, absolutely, but that’s not the situation Caesar described. He’s talking about high school, parties, and ‘fitting in’, a much different situation. Sounds more like he drinks because, “I don’t want to stand out or become an outcast,” rather than, “I’m trying to feel good.” To assume that anyone who drinks is doing it to “feel good” or any other reason is a big assumption.

Number two, it’s a big jump to say, “Since you haven’t followed this civil law,” then, “how can we believe you will ever live up to your vows?” You’re comparing apples and oranges here. There are many civil laws which, while they exist for a purpose, are routinely broken or ignored or forgetten for many different reasons. By this logic, anyone who has ever sped 5 miles over the limit, jaywalked, crossed against the light, taken home a pen from work, or whatever, could never be trusted to live up to any promise or vow. So that takes care of just about everyone… It’s ridiculous to compare not following a minor civil law (no matter how necessary or appropriate it is) with not living up to a lifetime promise to God.
 
I would like to clarify a few things since there have been a few posters who have misunderstood me.

First of all, some of you seem to assume that when I said I have drank alcohol in the past, that means that I am currently drinking on a casual basis. That is not true (in fact, I have never drank on a casual basis). In my first two years of high school I went to a few parties with friends- but even then, before I began pursuing a vocation to the priesthood, I realised that this was wrong.

Because my grandparents are from Germany and Austria, I was raised with a much more European view of alcohol. I was raised from a young age with a glass of wine at the dinner table, as I got older some brandy or beer (German beer at that!) was fine once in a while. But never in excess, never alone, and never quickly. It was a social occaision among family.

Here in North America, we have a very differant view of alcohol. Among many people here, especialy my age group, the point of alcohol is to drink as much as you can, in as short a time space as you can, get roaring drunk and make an idiot of yourself in front of all your friends. I prefer the European take on it ;).

So, let me clarify:
  1. I do not drink casualy.
  2. I do not drink to “feel good”.
  3. Drinking has not led me to use drugs.
  4. I do not believe that drinking alcohol to an excess or to “feel good” is ever correct.
 
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