Proper Dress and Behavior for Catholic Men

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Extempore

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At the good suggestion of the user eichenb:
eichenb2 said:
I suggest proprer dress and behavior for Catholic men needs to be addressed, too.
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Since no one else has started this discussion, I thought that I might as well jump in.

Especially pertaining to attire during Mass, I think it is fair to say that the standard of dress for men has also decreased significantly.

I am interested in hearing suggestions/sources for standards of attire and what tradition to say about the behavior and dress of good, Catholic men?

(As an aside, I noticed that the Brooks Brothers clothing stores carry a variety of etiquette books for men. Has anybody picked one of these up or can your recommend a Catholic alternative?)
 
I think this is a great idea. The dress at church is abysmal in my diocese. There seems to be no standard, not even for the eucharistic ministers or the altar servers.
TR

Since no one else has started this discussion, I thought that I might as well jump in.

Especially pertaining to attire during Mass, I think it is fair to say that the standard of dress for men has also decreased significantly.

I am interested in hearing suggestions/sources for standards of attire and what tradition to say about the behavior and dress of good, Catholic men?

(As an aside, I noticed that the Brooks Brothers clothing stores carry a variety of etiquette books for men. Has anybody picked one of these up or can your recommend a Catholic alternative?)
 
I have one rule that I do my best not to break. That rule is to wear a collar. In the summer, it is normally polo/golf shirts. In the winter it is dress shirts. Spring/Fall vary somewhat based on the day’s temperature and randomness.

The type of pants tend to vary. I have switched between clean, non-wrinkled jeans, khakis, and dress pants without a discernible pattern. However, it seems the Pastor at my local Parish gives me the stink eye in the Communion line when I am wearing jeans. At other nearby parishes, jeans for someone my age do not seem to be an issue.

I tend to avoid sneakers (tennis shoes).

Generally, I think it is an age thing. I am 22, therefore a well ironed dress shirt (not tucked in) with jeans appears better than it sounds. The younger tend to avoid jackets and ties. After that it is all over the place.

Overall, I think it’s best to avoid t-shirts, or like I said anything without a collar. At least with a collar, it looks like you tried. I definitely didn’t always follow this rule in college, but now it’s rather firm.
 
Let me begin from telling you the norm at the church I just left, a norm that shows love and respect for the Blessed Sacrament.

Men do not wear shorts in the sanctuary or chapel where the tabernacle is located.

Week day mass = long pants, clean shirt, comfortable shoes.

Sunday mass or vigil mass = Coat & tie.

In the church I now attend I see men in jeans, shorts, tee shirts with beer logos, etc on them…

The question is, how should we dress when we are in the presence of our Lord & Savior???

How would dress if you were invited to dinner at the White House? Shouldn’t the same or greater respect be paid to our God and King?
 
The “best” thing I’ve seen a guy wear in church is a shirt saying “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”
 
It’s very difficult for the prevailing culture not to be our cue for what’s appropriate, but at the very least we should ask ourselves if we would show up to a meeting with the President of the United States or an audience with the Queen of England dressed the way we go to Mass. If not, forget it, you’re being thoughtless about the presence of the King of Kings.

Most “white collar” companies still expect at least “business casual” now, so I certainly feel obligated to dress past that for Holy Mass. It’s at least a button-down shirt and a tie for most Masses. Then for Christmas and Easter and other major feast days, it’s a suit.

I don’t mean to incite this thread into the great wailing and gnashing of teeth that’s taking place on the thread about ladies’ attire, but at the very least can’t we all agree that it’s important to recognize that 1) we’re coming into the presence of God Himself and that therefore we should be wearing our “Sunday best” and that 2) the standard for that Sunday best probably ought not to be an increasingly slovenly and degenerate culture but something that our Catholic forebears in better times might recognize as appropriate attire?

Okay, there’s my $0.02 and that’ll buy you exactly nothing these days ;).

P.S. Kudos to WillB. Sorry, I didn’t see you post until I posted mine.
 
My mom never cared about what kind of pants I wore, but I was never allowed to wear T-shirts or shirts with pictures or logos to mass. A while ago, she saw some teens (who went to a Catholic high school) wearing shirts that said “Drain the Lizard–Spring Break 2008” with pictures of lizards standing at urinals, and she was pretty close to having a fit. Surprisingly, if she sees someone wearing a suit, she says something like “Why are they dressed in such expensive clothes?! Jesus didn’t wear anything like that!”
 
I can only say that the same IDENTICAL Moral Dress Code that Catholic women abide by should apply in EVERY respect to men abiding by it morally and diligently. Any why not ? If a man should be known to be of a gentlemanly character he should dress accordingly at every catholic mass. In my search on the Internet I could find nothing ( specific ) in relation to Moral Dress Code for Men exclusively except the following : A dress code is enforced for entry into St. Peter’s Basilica. The code is based upon what is considered “modest” and “appropriate” dress for visiting a Catholic church, and tourists and visitors are reminded of that, although St. Peter’s is an architectural and artistic monument, it is first a place of worship and prayer. The dress code forbids:
Code: 
* hats for lay men inside the basilica
* shorts/skirts above the knees
* sleeveless shirts
* shirts exposing the navel
* shirts for women that expose cleavage
* shirts which contain profanity
* excessive jewelry
 
Something to remember is, proper attire is to some degree, cultural. To that point, I include this link to the a poster describing what the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Manila, Philippines considers appropriate.

Some things are the same as the US, but some are not.

Paul
 
T700 said:
Something to remember is, proper attire is to some degree, cultural. To that point, I include this link to the a poster describing what the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Manila, Philippines considers appropriate.
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To some extent cultural, yes. But those are still slack standards (and I’m still smarting from the thread in which a devout priest in the Philippines was denied a requiem Latin Mass, so I am rather unimpressed by the adherence to traditional Catholic standards by the hierarchy in that country.)

Again, why not encourage Catholics of any culture to aspire to a higher standard than to the non-standards set by a rapidly degenerating culture? That cultures may be different is very true, but historically every healthy culture has had its people dress up for that which is important. It’s only our relativistic modern one that thinks such things don’t matter.
 
TIS said:
I have one rule that I do my best not to break. That rule is to wear a collar. In the summer, it is normally polo/golf shirts. In the winter it is dress shirts. Spring/Fall vary somewhat based on the day’s temperature and randomness.
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I follow this rule for myself as well.
 
Hehehe, I like this thread.

My brothers, the two that go to mass, wear suits most of the time or a dress shirt and tie (short sleeve if it is hot). They are still considered “young” though probably also considered “nerdy” 😃
As children my mother was more relaxed on dress code for the boys becuase dress pants or suits are more expensive, but kackies or cordoroy, with a sweater, dress shirt, or polo. I think this was a good standard for boys and men.
My husband, has a slightly relaxed standard, of a shirt with a collar and kackies or dress pants. I think this is an acceptable standard, it is modest, “dressy”, but allows for comfort, and budget. But his Sunday dress is still better than any other time, so I look at the effort involved.

I typically do not consider jeans appropriate dress for mass, unless it is a weekday/daily mass. Just the fact that there might be a reason why the person couldn’t change clothes (time, work, etc.) leads me to be more generous at weekday/daily or odd timed masses.

The reason I find this tread amusing is that when we were little my mother made us girls wear skirts to mass unless it was below freezing outside. (I had a rebellious older sister which is why the rule was so strict) So in a way I think the boys were guilted into wearing nicer clothes then they would have normally. 😉 (way to go mom). So now i consider the boys, all dressed up in their suits, better dressed than us girls, in our skirts and blouses.
 
:: Bookmarking this thread, plans to print it out and distribute it to her male friends who go to Mass looking like unmade beds::
 
Matrix_Refugee said:
:: Bookmarking this thread, plans to print it out and distribute it to her male friends who go to Mass looking like unmade beds::
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Yeah lol. I live in a VERY warm climate but I still don’t wear shorts or tank tops to Mass. So during the summer, I really hate seeing the guys in the shorts and t-shirts. At least make an effort.

In fact I don’t like shorts, period. On men or women, but that may be more of a personal preference. I like the collar standard someone mentioned above. When men dress up or at least try to make the effort, it’s very nice. 🙂
 
In high school, I went to a Catholic school, so I burned through all my khakis in the week. That meant that generally I’d be in windpants on an ordinary Sunday, with a hooded sweatshirt (never, ever, a t-shirt, though). I at least made sure that the hooded sweatshirt was only the one with the name of my Catholic school. I had the nice shirts, but not the pants to go with them.

Now that I’m in college, its khakis and a polo every Sunday, but windpants and a windbreaker when I can make it down to a weekday Mass (unless its a Holy Day of Obligation, in which case I wear the khakis and a polo).
 
Will_B said:
Let me begin from telling you the norm at the church I just left, a norm that shows love and respect for the Blessed Sacrament…How would dress if you were invited to dinner at the White House? Shouldn’t the same or greater respect be paid to our God and King?
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Hey Will, this is nothing against you personally, I have just heard the “God & King” line once too often.

Yes, He is my God & King, but he is also my daddy as well (Jesus uses “abba” for a reason). And my dad knows me. He knows when I dress up respectfully and when my dress is bull. He knows me, so He knows how I show respect for Him and how I don’t, and more importantly, I know it also.

The way someone dresses is not a measure of the love and respect they have for God or His house. I have seen too many people in rags who are devout and too many in suits who are a shell with no love inside. This is as bad as those who judge the measure of our brothers and sisters by how much they put in the collection plate or which Mass they attend.

If you want to measure the love and respect people have for God, look at the ones who are giving back, volunteering, stuggling to live the Gospel. I would rather have a bunch of T-shirt & jeans wearing long hair biker types at Mass who live the Gospel than a bunch of shirt and tie poser’s who do not. (Sorry for the stereotyping long hair biker types.)

If we want to debate our personal opinions as to what we would like to see everyone wear in Church, fine. But could we all please knock off the holier than thou judgements?

Thanks for letting me rant. We now return you to your thread.
 
TheDoctor,

You brought up some insightful and valid points. I’m not disagreeing with you, but here is something to consider:

Let’s say you were receiving the key to the city, and your son showed up at your award ceremony wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and unshaven (parked his Harley legally though ;)), and when questioned by your friends and coworkers, responds “My dad knows how much respect I have for him!”

Would you give him a “that’s my boy!” or a glare over the rim of your glasses? 😛

VC
 
I won’t enter a church if I’m not in a bear minimum of dress pants and dress shirt. To Sunday Mass, men should typically wear a suit and tie.
 
While “appropriate dress” concerns are valid, at least those whom we feel are not dressed “appropriately” for Mass, are THERE,… right ?

There is a heavy duty “biker dude” who attends Mass at my church. Some people take a dim view of how he dresses, which really isn’t objectionable by any means…it’s just “who” he is.

He sings BEAUTIFULLY, volunteers for just about everything, and mixes in just fine with everyone. He’s always clean and the young kids think he’s very cool.
 
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