Proper Dress and Behavior for Catholic Men

[William722]

It may not be bad to feel pleased at a compliment, but it is bad if you are dressing or acting in a particular way in order to get the compliment.

I agree that how we dress can send a message, but we need to be very careful about the message we want to send. Are we dressing up because we want to respect God, or are we dressing up because we want others to respect us for being respectful?

Lets be careful about making unproven associations. While certainly some dress standards can be linked to the the modern slackness in morals, I don’t think it is fair to broaden it to all current standards of dress. Many dresses and suits can be far more immodest than jeans and a decent shirt. In other words, it is easy to see why a woman might be judged to have lax morals if she is wearing a cocktail dress that is very short; it is not so easy to see the same thing if she is wearing loose fitting seat clothes. The latter might be slovenly, but it is probably more appropriate in church that the former.

I believe in trying to be neatly dressed for Church, but I also do my best to dress like who I am. I am a jeans kind of guy. I have worn a pair of jeans pretty much every day for the last 20 years and will probably continue to do so for the next 20. I wear neat jeans to Church, because that is who I am.

–
Bill

 

[JohnTrueHeart]

Hello Everyone,
Well since joining this group and reading the pros and cons of the subject, the whimsical and sterness of what WE think about APPRORIATE DRESS IN CHURCH FOR MEN... I am amazed and proud of all . To see the intelligence and thoughts in the subject shows me everyone has opinions. AND, that what a person feels comfortable in and how they feel when they dress for MASS is food for thought !! Different generations feel differently about their own way of paying respects to God in God's house , including how they dress. Whether you dress in jeans or slacks, that is fine. OR Ladies, in a pants suit or dress just be happy in yourself and honor the Lord !! God Bless everyone !!

 

[Extempore]

I was sifting through some of the FAQs on the SSPX website in response to another thread, and found this article which I think is relevant to our discussion and some food for thought on the issue:

Q: I know that there is a Catholic standard of modesty in dress for women. But is there also a standard of dress for men?

A: Absolutely there is, for exactly the same principles apply for men as for women.

Modesty is a moral virtue, and a part of the virtue of temperance, by which a person brings moderation to his outward and inward actions (inasmuch as they can be reflected by certain exterior signs), in order to keep them under the control of right reason (ST, IIa IIae Q. 160, A. 2). St. Thomas Aquinas lists four kinds of modesty in ordinary matters, that are obligatory for everybody:

1. One is the movement of the mind towards some excellence, and this is moderated by humility.
2. The second is the desire of things pertaining to knowledge, and this is moderated by studiousness which is opposed to curiosity.
3. The third regards bodily movements and actions (including words), which require to be done becomingly and honestly, whether we act seriously or in play.
4. The fourth regards outward show, for instance in dress and the like. (ibid.)

If all four aspects of modesty are equally important, there remains no doubt that the last two, which have no special name, are most commonly understood by the term modesty. Moreover, it is most especially the last that is referred to by modesty, on account of the disorder of fallen human nature, which is most easily overcome by a disordered attraction to the last kind of immodesty.

Clearly men have an equal duty as women to avoid provocative words or actions and to avoid any kind of dress that might show off their person or their body, leading to vanity. Like women, they are hence forbidden to display their bodies in public in an unseemly manner, or in a way that might produce a disordered attraction in the opposite sex. Men should always wear a shirt for gymnastics, and shorts should not be worn in public, but only be used for athletics, and should not be too brief or too tight.* Likewise, men should dress modestly for Sunday Mass, with shirt, tie, jacket, trousers, all of which symbolize a man’s sense of responsibility, leading his family by the orderly self-discipline of modest dress, and doing his duty in the true worship of God.*

 

[EvelynEVF]

I would just like to say, please, go ahead and wear your jeans and sneakers.

I just got home from a Mass where a couple of special occasions took place, so there were lots of guests. Everyone was very dressed up, men in suits and ties, etc. But one woman in the front row had obviously gone to great pains with her hair, full makeup, high heels. And a strappy black lace cocktail dress cut so low that we got to see three inches of cleavage even before she bent over. I feel bad for whichever man ministered the Eucharist to her.

I only wish she had been wearing jeans.

I guess it’s handy for you men, that your dress up clothes are inherently modest.

Really, of course, I prefer modesty and slightly dressed up, but if I have to pick one, I’d go with modest any day of the week.

 

[ChristinaM]

I have not read the whole thread, but I would like to add that a properly fitting belt is an essential item of attire at Mass. Today the church was crowded so we sat in the “overflow” chairs, which are open-backed metal chairs in rows quite close to one another. The young man in front of us was wearing low-slung jeans and it was not very pleasant to be treated to the sight of his boxers and “plumber’s crack” during the Mass! I don’t care about jeans per se, but please, other people do not wish to see your underwear in church!

 

[Eddie_Mac]

I have not read the whole thread, but I would like to add that a properly fitting belt is an essential item of attire at Mass. Today the church was crowded so we sat in the “overflow” chairs, which are open-backed metal chairs in rows quite close to one another. The young man in front of us was wearing low-slung jeans and it was not very pleasant to be treated to the sight of his boxers and “plumber’s crack” during the Mass! I don’t care about jeans per se, but please, other people do not wish to see your underwear in church!

You have no fashion sense.

My opinion is that most of those who want to wear jeans or other dress down clothes do it for the fashion sense, not for many of the other excuses including following St. Francis wallowing in the pigsty.

Eddie Mac

 

[LilyM]

You have no fashion sense.

My opinion is that most of those who want to wear jeans or other dress down clothes do it for the fashion sense, not for many of the other excuses including following St. Francis wallowing in the pigsty.

Eddie Mac

Fashion? I couldn’t give a hoot about fashion, nor could most of the people I know. We’ve got more important things to do with our lives, y’know.

Some brands of jeans or casual clothes might be fashionable, but they’re also advertised - so if I wear some designer brand it’s likely to be printed prominently across the butt or chest, or have a conspicious label on the outside. Few people I’ve seen at Mass wear such fashionable jeans or casual clothes.

In the case of the young (or young-at-heart) things in tight/lowcut/highcut/sheer whatevers, you have a point, but that’s a question of modesty and not of ‘dressing down’ or ‘dressing up’ at all - indeed the immodest clothes they wear would often be, to my eye, more ‘dressed-up’ than what most modestly-dressed people wear.

 

[Eddie_Mac]

Fashion? I couldn’t give a hoot about fashion, nor could most of the people I know. We’ve got more important things to do with our lives, y’know.

Some brands of jeans or casual clothes might be fashionable, but they’re also advertised - so if I wear some designer brand it’s likely to be printed prominently across the butt or chest, or have a conspicious label on the outside. Few people I’ve seen at Mass wear such fashionable jeans or casual clothes.

In the case of the young (or young-at-heart) things in tight/lowcut/highcut/sheer whatevers, you have a point, but that’s a question of modesty and not of ‘dressing down’ or ‘dressing up’ at all - indeed the immodest clothes they wear would often be, to my eye, more ‘dressed-up’ than what most modestly-dressed people wear.

I put in the smiley. Nothing fashionable about plumber’s crack or undershorts.

Eddie Mac

 

[Extempore]

…indeed the immodest clothes they wear would often be, to my eye, more ‘dressed-up’ than what most modestly-dressed people wear.

More proof that our culture has some serious issues.

 

[mchale]

You have no fashion sense.

My opinion is that most of those who want to wear jeans or other dress down clothes do it for the fashion sense, not for many of the other excuses including following St. Francis wallowing in the pigsty.

Eddie Mac

I think its important to remember here that any sort of clothes, dress up or dress down can be done for reasons other than modesty.

The important point, that many are making here, is that making a man wear a suit and tie or a woman a dress does not ensure modesty. A Man wearing a $1000 suit to Church is possibly not doing so for reasons of modesty; he might well hope that others notice his suit. Likewise a person in the latest $300 fashion jeans may also hope that people notice. On the other hand, a guy wearing a pair of Levis or Gap Jeans that fit appropriately may be just as modest as the guy wearing the $50 suit he found at the Thrift store.

–
Bill