Proper etiquette for hosts regarding guests who can't live without 'the game'

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Armor_of_Light

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People love sports. I get it…

When we go to local family functions, there is always at least 1 TV on playing ‘the game’ You know…the game is always on and always super important. Which is cool I guess…I don’t have to watch it and it isn’t my house.

But, what about when people, in addition to people from a different side of the family come for a party at my house? We don’t have the TV on at all because:
  1. We don’t get to see some of them very often.
  2. We couldn’t care less about sports.
And…there is complaning going on because of it! Gotta watch the game!! GAME GAME GAME.

Is it bad manners to refuse the guests their beloved game? And if so, does that then give me the leeway to turn off the TV when I’m at their house?

Thanks
 
Ahh yes. Good point.

Baptism get together after the ceremony. And, all my side of the family came great distances (like 5-12 hours) to attend.
 
If you know they are going to want to watch the game, can you plan the party for another time?

I live in a college town. If you plan a party during a big game and you don’t have the game on … people will leave. That’s just the way it is.
 
maryjk said:
If you know they are going to want to watch the game, can you plan the party for another time? I live in a college town. If you plan a party during a big game and you don’t have the game on … people will leave. That’s just the way it is.
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Well, that is my point!
There is ALWAYS a game on that people can’t live without. ALWAYS.
college, pros, local, national, liitle leagues, spring, summer, winter, fall, re-runs of things in 1982, post-game shows, analysis shows, fantasy league shows, etc…

Everthing in between except for the WNBA!! And soccer.
 
Okay that does help!

Now, obviously there is going to be a meal involved… probably cake, etc… a “formal moment” where everyone is gathered, prayers are said, meal is eaten… then relaxing as socializing… correct?
I think that time should be sacred, of course.

But, if this is truly a good opportunity for family to gather and socialize and laugh and spending bonding time together… yeah, go ahead and turn on the game in the den or the garage and let them have at it! For many, games really BOND family members. Don’t turn this into a battle of what’s more important… let it be an opportunity for love and sharing and bonding - in the multiple ways that many like to share those times.
Probably not in the main family room… but in a side room - I don’t have a problem with that.
 
Turn on the TV in a different room. The people who want to watch and socialize there can, and you and the others who don’t want to watch can hang out elsewhere. And during commercials and halftime the game people will probably float in and out to chat, and some of the non game people will pop in periodically to check scores, watch a few plays, and chat.

It’s easy, no one is offended, you’re polite, and it works well. I just described every Thanksgiving I’ve ever been to.
 
Em_in_FL said:
Okay that does help!

Now, obviously there is going to be a meal involved… probably cake, etc… a “formal moment” where everyone is gathered, prayers are said, meal is eaten… then relaxing as socializing… correct?
I think that time should be sacred, of course.

But, if this is truly a good opportunity for family to gather and socialize and laugh and spending bonding time together… yeah, go ahead and turn on the game in the den or the garage and let them have at it! For many, games really BOND family members. Don’t turn this into a battle of what’s more important… let it be an opportunity for love and sharing and bonding - in the multiple ways that many like to share those times.
Probably not in the main family room… but in a side room - I don’t have a problem with that.
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👍

I agree, don’t make this a battle and don’t set out trying to prove that what you want takes precedence over what they want.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Turn on the TV in a different room. The people who want to watch and socialize there can, and you and the others who don’t want to watch can hang out elsewhere. And during commercials and halftime the game people will probably float in and out to chat, and some of the non game people will pop in periodically to check scores, watch a few plays, and chat. It’s easy, no one is offended, you’re polite, and it works well. I just described every Thanksgiving I’ve ever been to.
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We only have 1 TV in the living room. Most people have more, I know. My brother (who literally starts shaking if he isn’t watching or talking about sports) has 17 TV sets. And a bad marriage.

So…lemme get this straight so far… Sports fans get to dictate:

The tone of the event
The time of the event
The day of the event
The duration of the event

Nobody can go without sports for an afternoon, and I’m a rude host for not hooking them up with their favorite thing in the whole wide world. Or, how about people who want to watch the game and know there is a family gathering taking place, record the game for later viewing? They all have DVR’s…
 
Armor_of_Light said:
We only have 1 TV in the living room. Most people have more, I know. My brother (who literally starts shaking if he isn’t watching or talking about sports) has 17 TV sets. And a bad marriage.

So…lemme get this straight so far…

Sports fans get to dictate:

The tone of the event
The time of the event
The day of the event
The duration of the event

Nobody can go without sports for an afternoon, and I’m a rude host for not hooking them up with their favorite thing in the whole wide world.

Or, how about people who want to watch the game and know there is a family gathering taking place, record the game for later viewing?
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BlueEyedLady said:
👍

I agree, don’t make this a battle and don’t set out trying to prove that what you want takes precedence over what they want.
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Armor_of_Light said:
We only have 1 TV in the living room. Most people have more, I know. My brother (who literally starts shaking if he isn’t watching or talking about sports) has 17 TV sets. And a bad marriage.

So…lemme get this straight so far…

Sports fans get to dictate:

The tone of the event
The time of the event
The day of the event
The duration of the event

Nobody can go without sports for an afternoon, and I’m a rude host for not hooking them up with their favorite thing in the whole wide world.

Or, how about people who want to watch the game and know there is a family gathering taking place, record the game for later viewing?
Click to expand...
Here’s the thing about hosting. When you host you are in effect saying “Come over to my house for the afternoon and let me make you comfortable and happy” not " Come over to my place for an afternoon so that you can do what I want when I want you to". You know that your guests would be more comfortable and happy with the game, so it is your job to try to make that work, especially when it isn’t just one or two, it’s a whole group of guests. It’s just etiquette. Your tone and the things you are bringing up kind of make it sound like you’re looking down on your guests, and that isn’t right either.

Set your TV up in a bedroom and send the sports fans there.
 
Armor_of_Light said:
We only have 1 TV in the living room. Most people have more, I know. My brother (who literally starts shaking if he isn’t watching or talking about sports) has 17 TV sets. And a bad marriage.

So…lemme get this straight so far…

Sports fans get to dictate:

The tone of the event
The time of the event
The day of the event
The duration of the event

Nobody can go without sports for an afternoon, and I’m a rude host for not hooking them up with their favorite thing in the whole wide world.

Or, how about people who want to watch the game and know there is a family gathering taking place, record the game for later viewing?
Click to expand...
Now take a step back… I can tell this is a heated issue for you.

We’re not “crazy” sports fans… at all… but we do enjoy a good game. And I’m with you on limited number of TV’s - I get that.

*But can there be ANY compromise? At all? *
Maybe (crazy idea)… consider moving the set to a back room or bringing a portable little TV in for the guys to take out to the back porch?
The brother with tons of TV’s… he’s got to have a nice portable option. ASK him! Tell him you’d like to really focus on family vising inside… but he’s welcome to bring a smaller set to put out on the porch if they want to watch the game!

Just find a happy compromise. It doesn’t have to be a “dictation” from one side or the other. :rolleyes:
 
Let me put it this way…

Thanksgiving tradition in my family has always been to watch the parade while the cooking is happening…
Then… marriages happen and traditions “change”… and one family doesn’t watch TV AT ALL… zero, no outside media… NO COMPROMISE.

Kinda wrecks the whole day when it’s been something just fun and benign to the rest of the family for decades. :o

Compromise… just a little.

“Dictators” on any side tend to really RUIN the moment.
So send the game to a back room. 👍
 
OP, I totally get where you are coming from. Didnt want you to think you are the only one that feels that sports SOMETIMES need to be set aside whether you are visiting or doing the entertaining. (Obviously, The Stupid er, :rolleyes: Super bowl cannot be ignored. And yes, maybe even a little bit on Thanksgiving is okay too.) But come on people. If you can’t be at someone else’s house without watching TV? Maybe you should bow out. Please DO tell the host why though. “I am sorry Armor, the (insert name here) game is just more important to me than your child’s Baptism party. However, if you can reschedule it for sometime when there are no games on, I might be able to make it.” 😉

But to be fair, why stop at sports? Or rather why just sports? Would it be rude for me to insist on watching Say Yes to the Dress as long as 3 other people want to watch it too? 😃

Armor, perhaps your TV won’t work when they come over. Mysteriously. :whistle: Because you flipped the switch in your circuit breaker…
 
If you want them all to attend the next event you have, you should not make them choose between you and the game. Also, if they really want to see the game, you will find that half your guest will slip out “to get something from the store” and head to the local tavern.

In my family events are scheduled around game time or arrangments are made so sports fans will have a comfortable location to gather for the game.
 
Yeah Yeah…

I’ll lighten up a bit for next time. I just don’t get it…
You all are correct. I knew who I was inviting and could have moved the TV. I was not thinking about that at the time…I was menu planning and cooking. There was a good delegation in the kitchen as well, all talking about grown-up things.

OK Next time…Sports bar in the family room. Got it.

Thanks!

GO STATE! Or whoever the heck is playing… 👍
 
As an attentive host, it wouldn’t hurt to accomodate your guests by setting up the tv for the game in another room and leave them to it. If it really, really, really bugs you, then you can unplug the the thing, take it over to a neighbor’s for the day and apologize not having a tv at this time. 🤷
 
Armor_of_Light said:
We only have 1 TV in the living room. Most people have more, I know. My brother (who literally starts shaking if he isn’t watching or talking about sports) has 17 TV sets. And a bad marriage.

So…lemme get this straight so far… Sports fans get to dictate:

The tone of the event
The time of the event
The day of the event
The duration of the event

Nobody can go without sports for an afternoon, and I’m a rude host for not hooking them up with their favorite thing in the whole wide world. Or, how about people who want to watch the game and know there is a family gathering taking place, record the game for later viewing? They all have DVR’s…
Click to expand...
WHOA!!!:eek:

There’s a lot more going on here than just people watching a game and your comment about your brother and his marriage speaks volumes(in my opinion) about where you’re coming from!!

As other posters have said, choose your battles – know what they are like – or just don’t invite them!
 
coachdennis said:
WHOA!!!:eek:

There’s a lot more going on here than just people watching a game and your comment about your brother and his marriage speaks volumes(in my opinion) about where you’re coming from!!

As other posters have said, choose your battles – know what they are like – or just don’t invite them!
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Well, yeah my brother bugs me a bit…I have a tendency to vent online. Shocker.

But, no it really is about people not being able or willing to put the love of sports aside for special occasions. And I do mean special (see previous description) not the standard Sunday family dinner at FIL’s house.
 
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