Proper Funeral and Burial for a Catholic?

[Padres1969]

My departed Grandmother and Grandfather were both Catholics, probably not the best Catholics but my grandmother was devout enough to be scandalized when people, namely my grandfather, joked about the church. And my grandfather was devout enough to make jokes about the church that while funny he also believed (like that his going to 9 First Fridays as a teen earned him an indulgence (or as he put it, an express ticket to heaven )).

They both passed away in December 2013 and September 2014 respectively and were promptly cremated per their wishes. However as yet no further funerary rites were performed. My aunt, whose valid Catholic marriage had just ended due to my uncle’s gross and continuing infidelity, shortly before my grandmother’s stoke in December 2013, was and is still so stunned by the loss of her parents that she’s basically ignored that it happened. Their remains have remained at her house as they were after both of them were cremated (my grandfather reacted similarly in the short time he survived my grandmother). My dad isn’t much better choosing to let my aunt handle things in her own time and way. But at this point I’m starting to push for them to do something, Catholic or otherwise as it’s become disrespectful IMO to simply leave my grandparents remains lying around her house. I’ve even gone so far as to research a burial location at one of the military’s national cemeteries as my Grandfather was a WW2 vet and is entitled to burial there if we wish.

My question basically becomes, in general what would be proper Catholic procedure after death and what would be the proper procedure in a case such as this where any type of funerary rites have been delayed almost 2 years? Is a liturgy appropriate or needed? Would simply moving on to interment be more appropriate? I feel like if I come at my aunt and dad with a fully fleshed out plan of attack they might finally lay them to rest…

 

[fan312]

My departed Grandmother and Grandfather were both Catholics, probably not the best Catholics but my grandmother was devout enough to be scandalized when people, namely my grandfather, joked about the church. And my grandfather was devout enough to make jokes about the church that while funny he also believed (like that his going to 9 First Fridays as a teen earned him an indulgence (or as he put it, an express ticket to heaven )).

They both passed away in December 2013 and September 2014 respectively and were promptly cremated per their wishes. However as yet no further funerary rites were performed. My aunt, whose valid Catholic marriage had just ended due to my uncle’s gross and continuing infidelity, shortly before my grandmother’s stoke in December 2013, was and is still so stunned by the loss of her parents that she’s basically ignored that it happened. Their remains have remained at her house as they were after both of them were cremated (my grandfather reacted similarly in the short time he survived my grandmother). My dad isn’t much better choosing to let my aunt handle things in her own time and way. But at this point I’m starting to push for them to do something, Catholic or otherwise as it’s become disrespectful IMO to simply leave my grandparents remains lying around her house. I’ve even gone so far as to research a burial location at one of the military’s national cemeteries as my Grandfather was a WW2 vet and is entitled to burial there if we wish.

My question basically becomes, in general what would be proper Catholic procedure after death and what would be the proper procedure in a case such as this where any type of funerary rites have been delayed almost 2 years? Is a liturgy appropriate or needed? Would simply moving on to interment be more appropriate? I feel like if I come at my aunt and dad with a fully fleshed out plan of attack they might finally lay them to rest…

After they would have died, I assume they would have had a Catholic requiem mass, so they should have been cremated after the funeral. I think, as a family, you should intern them, since I assume that they have had the requiem mass. If no requiem mass was celebrated, then ask for one be celebrated in the presence of the ashes. (This is allowed, to my knowledge. Please correct me if I’m wrong.) The ashes should be reverently buried.

Hope this helped.

 

[Antegin]

You know who can help you even better than the parish priest? Your diocese’ Catholic Cemeteries. They will have a website you can google. It’s important to access CC for your diocese because while the catechism gives some direction concerning cremation, most instructions are the preview of the local ordinary.

Some of these minutia include:

• Urn vs vault
• If it is necessary to pour concrete in the grave
• How long the family can hold on to the ashes before burial. (Here in MD it can take 2 to 4 weeks just to get a gravedigger. National Cemetery wants 9 weeks even to bury a body. Our ordinary allows us to keep the remains until the grave has been opened, but does not allow the remains to be kept for the consolation of the bereft.)

 

[Catholic1954]

You know who can help you even better than the parish priest? Your diocese’ Catholic Cemeteries. They will have a website you can google. It’s important to access CC for your diocese because while the catechism gives some direction concerning cremation, most instructions are the preview of the local ordinary.

Some of these minutia include:

• Urn vs vault
• If it is necessary to pour concrete in the grave
• How long the family can hold on to the ashes before burial. (Here in MD it can take 2 to 4 weeks just to get a gravedigger. National Cemetery wants 9 weeks even to bury a body. Our ordinary allows us to keep the remains until the grave has been opened, but does not allow the remains to be kept for the consolation of the bereft.)

Give Holy Cross Cemetery a call, I’m pretty sure they have a section for veterans, or the pastor at the parish where they would have gone to a call The remains should be buried as soon as possible.

 

[Kielbasi]

*]How long the family can hold on to the ashes before burial. (Here in MD it can take 2 to 4 weeks just to get a gravedigger. National Cemetery wants 9 weeks even to bury a body. Our ordinary allows us to keep the remains until the grave has been opened, but does not allow the remains to be kept for the consolation of the bereft.

Cremains don’t have to be buried as deep as a casket. It is a lot less costly to the customer, one of the appeals of cremation If people in the same situation as the OP wish to have a grave marker placed, it can be placed immediately without the need of allowing the ground to settle.

 

[maryjk]

Since your grandfather was a vet, your grandparents can probably be buried at a National Cemetery.

Search on line for military.com

Contact them. They can tell you what is provided, and what isn’t. And how to set everything up. Then contact the nearest Catholic Church. And again, they can tell you what to do.

After you have all of that, sit down and talk to your aunt and father. Having all of your ducks in a row might help with getting them to do something.

 

[Padres1969]

Since your grandfather was a vet, your grandparents can probably be buried at a National Cemetery.

Search on line for military.com

Contact them. They can tell you what is provided, and what isn’t. And how to set everything up. Then contact the nearest Catholic Church. And again, they can tell you what to do.

After you have all of that, sit down and talk to your aunt and father. Having all of your ducks in a row might help with getting them to do something.

Sound advice. Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut, it’s very much appreciated. I’ve contacted the closest National Cemetery close to where they lived, which ironically is on Cape Cod where my grandparents always enjoyed vacationing. Just need to find a local Catholic church to talk to someone there about it and see what their procedures would be in relation to the cemetery.