Proper Mortification

[NonExcidet]

Hello there,

I have a question that has been bothering me for some time. I am in a weird situation where in a prayer I promised God that I would mortify myself of coffee entirely. Needless to say I failed and I feel bad whenever I even let myself have a cup. I feel as though I am sinning? Have I sinned? Am I being scrupulous and is there a proper way of engaging in mortification which I may have overlooked in my zealousness?

Thanks
NON-EXCIDET

 

[Basilios]

Hello there,

I have a question that has been bothering me for some time. I am in a weird situation where in a prayer I promised God that I would mortify myself of coffee entirely. Needless to say I failed and I feel bad whenever I even let myself have a cup. I feel as though I am sinning? Have I sinned? Am I being scrupulous and is there a proper way of engaging in mortification which I may have overlooked in my zealousness?

Thanks
NON-EXCIDET

Laudetur Jesus et Maria semper Virgo!

Tell it to a priest in the confessional and be as honest about it as possible (i.e.intention of promise, why you made it, etc). If you feel you’ve sinned tell that to the priest too and just say what is in your heart: that you would never intentionally offend God and that you trusted in yourself rather than Him by making a promise you weren’t able to keep. Something like that, I don’t know. I’ve been in your situation before and I can tell you that the priest told me I didn’t sin mortally but that in the future promises of any kind need to be made with discretion and permission from the confessor.

As for the proper way of being mortified, I am the least qualified person to give advice. All I know is that no amount of mortification will sanctify you if the inner life of your soul isn’t animated with a love of Our Lord. Here are two sermons on mortifcation by some good traditional priests from AudioSancto. I really hope they help you.

No sanctification without mortification

Fire, Flesh, and Bronze: The Three Hearts of a Christian

God Bless you +

 

[TiggerS]

A promise to God is no light matter and such a promise should never be made lightly. Whether you have sinned or not would depend on how you understood your promise at the time of making it and its’ serious nature. Also taken into account would be what you actually promised. Breaking a promise not to drink coffee is not grave matter I would think. At the very most it would be venial sin, if indeed that. It is best subjected to Father in Confession who will ask necessary questions and advise you. As to whether you are scrupulous or not is another matter for Confession - and to listen to what Father has to say and follow his advice if given and in all instances.

The very best thing to do in failure, is simply to begin again with confidence in the Loving Mercy of God - and without bashing yourself all over the place, which displays a lack of confidence and trust in His Loving Mercy. Or you could ask Father in Confession to release you from your promise. If you desire to continue in your promise, simply mention your failure to Father in Confession along with any other concerns, and simply begin again. While hopefully you will have had confidence in Jesus and His Mercy and begun again before your actual confession.

carmelitesofeldridge.org/vilma5b.htmlTherese of Lisieux: "If you can bear in peace the trial of being displeasing to yourself, you offer a sweet shelter to Jesus. It is true that it hurts you to find yourself thrust outside the door of your own self, so to speak, but fear not; the poorer you become, the more Jesus will love you.12… "
…“Today we recognize that excessive fear of sin can be lack of acceptance of one’s fragile humanity; a form of disguised narcissism. Even the smallest sin is unbearable when the self needs to be perfect and the goal is self-sanctification. Through years of struggle with her own fragility, Thérèse finally comes to the graced conclusion–extraordinary for her time–that her daily faults are not important in her life with God.7 Such an attitude was virtually unheard of in devout French circles. Her lack of illusions in regard to what it is to be human, allows her to come to such freedom that she can assign her imperfections no more importance than they deserve. She awakens to the truth that God is not concerned about the limitations of being human, but about love. (A, p. 174).”…“Persistent experiences of her weakness put her in the position either to despair of holiness or to abandon herself entirely to God. She delights in the Gospel story of the workers in the vineyard who begin at the twelfth hour and yet receive the same reward as the others who have borne the burden of the day’s work. Like the good thief and the Holy Innocents, Thérèse would steal Heaven.”

 

[TiggerS]

Mortification can come about in most every single day. We stop and speak to a person we would rather avoid. At coffee break, to go without sugar now and then. At dinner, now and then, we dont have a desert. Mortification is to do what is the more virtuous in a given situation when the less virtuous is the more attractive. We deny self in some way. But if one is going to be scrupulous about things and mortification becomes a point of anxiety and much concern, then mortification might best be avoided (a scrupulous soul will not find this easy at all!) - or confined to something that a spiritual director or regular confessor has advised.

The very best advice in all the matters under discussion is to talk with a spiritual director about it all, or to speak with Father in Confession - even make an appointment with him outside of Confession. I think probably you might have a few issues to sort through.

 

[mountee]

Do yourself a favor and take advantage of the healing power of confession, let the priest guide you through the examination of what is really the issue here. And, when you make a promise to anyone, but especially God, only do so when you can fulfill the promise. God understands your intent and will help you fulfill your promise, just ask Him!

 

[losh14]

Welcome welcome to these poor boards!

I am in a weird situation where in a prayer I promised God that I would mortify myself of coffee entirely. Needless to say I failed and I feel bad whenever I even let myself have a cup. I feel as though I am sinning? Have I sinned? Am I being scrupulous and is there a proper way of engaging in mortification which I may have overlooked in my zealousness?

Strictly speaking, no there is no sin. You have broken a promise, which is an agreement you yourself made with the Lord, but it falls short of the gravity of sin because there is nothing sinful in drinking coffee. Apologize to the Lord, ask for His forgiveness, and ask Him to point you to something that is more within reach. We all strive to be saints, but few of us are there already. The Lord does not ask us for perfection, but reaches us where we are and moves us from there. To the young man who held all of Torah since his youth, the Lord asked him to give up his possessions. To the thief on the cross next to the Lord, he accepted his faith without asking anything further, and promised him Paradise that very day.

Remember the Lord’s daily call to us in Lk 9:23-24 -

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

 

[TimothyH]

Hello there,

I have a question that has been bothering me for some time. I am in a weird situation where in a prayer I promised God that I would mortify myself of coffee entirely. Needless to say I failed and I feel bad whenever I even let myself have a cup. I feel as though I am sinning? Have I sinned? Am I being scrupulous and is there a proper way of engaging in mortification which I may have overlooked in my zealousness?

Thanks
NON-EXCIDET

Mortification should bring you closer to God. That is the purpose of mortification, to draw you to God. If it does not do that then it is self-punishment and your spirit will rebel.

Ask yourself, is your desire to quit coffee cold-turkey drawing you closer or further from God?

We are supposed to replace what we give up with prayer.

-Tim-