proper wording for Catholic wedding invitation

[PhiloMed]

It is important not to get so wrapped up in “how it’s always been done” that you forget that “how it’s always been done” presumed that the bride’s parents are hosting, that all of the people the groom wants to invite actually know his last name, and so on. If the guests need information that does not fit the “how it’s always been done” format, then people expect the format will be changed or expanded, not that the guests will be misled or left guessing.

We got around the “who is actually hosting” issue by phrasing it this way:

Bride’s mother requests the honor of your presence
At the marriage of her daughter
PhiloMed
to
CutiePie
Son of Mr and Mrs Pie

This way, everyone is mentioned.

Just another idea.

 

[Book_Worm]

It is important not to get so wrapped up in “how it’s always been done” that you forget that “how it’s always been done” presumed that the bride’s parents are hosting, that all of the people the groom wants to invite actually know his last name, and so on. If the guests need information that does not fit the “how it’s always been done” format, then people expect the format will be changed or expanded, not that the guests will be misled or left guessing.

Why would anyone who doesn’t even know who the groom is by his name be invited to a wedding?

 

[PhiloMed]

Why would anyone who doesn’t even know who the groom is by his name be invited to a wedding?

You’d be surprised.

I have been to weddings where the bride or groom didn’t even know people there, but their parents insisted that so-and-so be invited.

Sometimes it’s for professional reasons. I know physicians who invite every physician they work with or consult to their son or daughter’s wedding even though they have never met that child. It’s very awkward seeing mom or dad standing beside them in the receiving line explaining who this person is.

 

[Book_Worm]

You’d be surprised.

I have been to weddings where the bride or groom didn’t even know people there, but their parents insisted that so-and-so be invited.

Sometimes it’s for professional reasons. I know physicians who invite every physician they work with or consult to their son or daughter’s wedding even though they have never met that child. It’s very awkward seeing mom or dad standing beside them in the receiving line explaining who this person is.

Well, once you commit the etiquette faux pas of inviting people who don’t know your child’s name and the fact that he’s getting married to what should be a personal celebration, the matter of wording on an the invitation is a minor point.

 

[agapewolf]

Well, once you commit the etiquette faux pas of inviting people who don’t know your child’s name and the fact that he’s getting married to what should be a personal celebration, the matter of wording on an the invitation is a minor point.

I have plenty of 2nd cousins who in not regularly in touch with but been invited to their weddings because that’s what we do in my family. That’s not an etiquette foux pas

 

[Book_Worm]

I have plenty of 2nd cousins who in not regularly in touch with but been invited to their weddings because that’s what we do in my family. That’s not an etiquette foux pas

You don’t know your cousins’ names?

There’s a difference between not being in regular touch with someone and not knowing who they are.

 

[agapewolf]

You don’t know your cousins’ names?

There’s a difference between not being in regular touch with someone and not knowing who they are.

I don’t know some of my SECOND cousins names, and especially not their spouses.

 

[Book_Worm]

Well, if they have spouses, you’re probably not being invited to their wedding, and if they’re your second cousins’ children and you don’t know their spouses’ name, having the parents’ name on the invitation probably won’t clear up the identity for you.

 

[agapewolf]

There is no need to be snarky. Knock it off.

If they have spouses, it means they had a wedding…and I referenced the experience in my family. It is not am etiquette foux pas that I would have been invited to the wedding without knowing their names.

 

[Book_Worm]

I apologize if you found my reply snarky since it was not intended to be. I was merely trying to follow a logical train of thought.

There’s no need to be defensive. Knock it off.

 

[agapewolf]

and getting the last word with a smarmy comment veiled as a joke is also snarky.

 

[maryjk]

Well, once you commit the etiquette faux pas of inviting people who don’t know your child’s name and the fact that he’s getting married to what should be a personal celebration, the matter of wording on an the invitation is a minor point.

Sorry, everyone, but I am with Book Worm.

If you don’t know the names of the people that are getting married, maybe you shouldn’t be invited to attend.

I honestly figured stuff like that had fallen by the wayside. You know, inviting people to events to win points. I know it was common for those in the military. I know of a relative’s future MIL that wanted to invite pretty much everyone up the chain of command to the Sec of the Navy to the wedding. The parent’s of the bride put the kibosh on it. Well unless the parent’s of the groom wanted to count all of those people as part of their side.

Relatives? Wouldn’t you know their names? Really, how many weddings have you been invited to, where you (or your spouse) don’t know either party getting married? Not only you don’t know them, but you don’t even know their name? Maybe that is normal for a few families, but really? I can’t imagine it is common.

 

[agapewolf]

It is a gross assumption that inviting extended families where you are not familiar with some of the kids names is to “win points”… in fact…its insulting really.

 

[Book_Worm]

Ah, Agapewolf, it is so inspiring to see how you demonstrate the first part of your name. I was merely trying to lighten the mood somewhat. Obviously a wasted effort.

Maryjk, in my experience inviting people who do not even know you to your wedding has to do with “winning” something other than points.

And I notice Agapewolf very conveniently refused to answer your question as to how many times this has actually happened. I think I am like most people in that my address book (now on-line) contains the names of the children and grandchildren of my extended family and far-flung friends.

If I received an invitation from someone whose name I did not recognize and had no knowledge of an up-coming wedding from the family grapevine, I would wonder why I was being invited.

 

[agapewolf]

Yet another insult. Keep going… its getting amusing.

This has nothing to do with “demonstrating my name”.

This has to do with three times now you grasping in order to make a point that has been refuted by not only me but others as well. I don’t remember seeing the question as to how many times…

not many, but you called it an etiquette foux pas. and as I pointed out, it isn’t

And someone else claims its to win points. and as I pointed out-- thats insulting to assume that.

To sarcastically claim that I’m not “demonstrating my name” is now grasping even further that I thought possible. Sure— insult the person when you’ve been proven wrong.

What a joke.