The means to the end are different, but the end - and the intent - are the same.
Yes! Well… almost yes!
The end of **both **NFP and of ABC is the spacing of births. We are in agreement here. The
overall intent, the spacing of births, is the same. Again, we are in perfect agreement here. I think we both agree that with NFP and ABC there is an overall attempt to mitigate the possibility of pregnancy during certain times in the marriage.
I contend, however, that the intent
during intercourse is different. This is why the NFP couple and the ABC couple employ different means. The means, as you said, are different.
While the NFP couple is having intercourse, there is no intent to interfere in the act, and they don’t. They are simply having intercourse with nothing done to mitigate current fertility or prevent transmission of sperm. While the ABC couple is having intercourse, there is intent to interfere in the act, and they do. They are simply having intercourse with something done to mitigate current fertility or prevent transmission of sperm.
At this point, I’m not making claims about morality, I am pointing out that there is a difference in intent and means during sex for the NFP couple and the ABC couple. The NFP couple is intending to have sex without using anything to mitigate current fertility while the ABC couple is intending to mitigate current fertility.
Now two questions arise:
- Is it okay to mitigate the possibility of pregnancy at certain times in the marital relationship?
- Is it okay to mitigate current fertility during intercourse?
I view NFP as I view ABC: each “frustrates God’s plan for human sexuality” in that each method is designed and practiced to prevent conception.
Hopefully we can agree that frustration of God’s plans for human sexuality is wrong… it appears you agree. If we don’t, then we need to have another debate but for the sake of understanding where Catholics come from on this, lets assume that it is wrong and immoral to frustrate God’s plans for human sexuality.
What is God’s plan for sexuality? Again, we could debate this, but Catholics say two things… complete self-giving love that unites man and wife (the unitive part) and openness to life (the procreative part).
Lets treat question two first. Is it okay to mitigate current fertility during intercourse? Does mitigation of fertility frustrate either of the two plans for sexuality? Clearly there is not a full gift of self if one’s current fertility is withheld from the other (there is no union). Also, since current fertility is withheld, there is an intent to **remove **the procreative nature of sex. Notice that I didn’t refer to what the couple “wants.” Both the NFP and ABC couple don’t “want” to get pregnant. What matters is that
during sex is that there is no **intent **to
interfere.
The first question. Is it okay to mitigate the possibility of pregnancy during marriage (is it okay to space births)? Does that frustrate God’s plan for sex? Well, certainly we can’t continuously mitigate the possibility of pregnancy for the duration of the marriage; this frustrates both the procreative and unitive parts and hence is immoral. Certainly, however, we aren’t expected to continuously get pregnant. To do so would be a serious lack of the virtue of prudence and would be immoral as well. We could never take care of all the children we had if we were expected to be continuously giving birth. Nor would that be healthy for the woman. We might almost say it is one’s duty to space births.
The Church asks us to discern God’s will for the number of children we have using prudence, reason, and charity.
Since practicing NFP is the only means to the end of prudently spacing births that preserves both of God’s plans for sexuality, it is the only moral option available.