Proposal ideas and question

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brgregmack

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To start, I’ve known my girlfriend for almost two years, have been friends for most of that time, and have been dating for the last 5 months (I thought I wanted to be a monk, and didn’t realize we flirted a lot, then came to at her sister’s wedding).

I know God wants us together for the rest of our lives. The biggest sign for me has been noticing that I feel the same peace and joy when I’m with her that I have felt in Eucharistic adoration. My plan has been to wait until our 1 year anniversary to propose, but I’m not sure I can wait that long.

So… I am asking for help on how to time it and ideas of how to do it.

Pax Christi
 
From what my husband said, he had planned what he would say and that he would go down on one knee etc. But when it came to it, he got all shy and fumbling with words and we were hugging and he was squirming and I didn’t realize he was trying to get to his pocket, so I hugged tighter. So, yeah, I remember it well, and I cherish the memory since I knew it was coming, but it sure wasn’t like he planned it.

Good luck!
 
I’m a bit in your shoes in that I knew my wife for years, was a decent friend with her but didn’t start dating her until I took her out for a beer and a soccer match on her 21st birthday. We instantly clicked and I proposed six months later.

What I did was take her out to all of our “firsts.” Relived the first real date at the same restaurant, took her to the place where we first me, went out to the area where we first kissed, then onto the place where we first said “I love you.”

I wrapped it up at the pier where we spent hours talking after that soccer match was over. That’s where I decided I needed to get to know this girl way more than I did. Right under that pier, under a full moon, I proposed.

That was about six and a half years ago and we’re expecting our third child in May!
 
My first recommendation would be to make sure she knows you are going to ask her. Not necessarily when and how, but if you’ve only been a couple for a few months, make sure the two of you have talked about getting married and are on the same page. It’s a discernment process for both of you, and if she hasn’t gotten to where you are yet, you’ll want to know that before planning to propose.

How to do it depends on what kind of person she is. For instance, if she doesn’t like attention, don’t do it in front of a bunch of people.
 
Lorelei12 said:
My first recommendation would be to make sure she knows you are going to ask her. Not necessarily when and how, but if you’ve only been a couple for a few months, make sure the two of you have talked about getting married and are on the same page. It’s a discernment process for both of you, and if she hasn’t gotten to where you are yet, you’ll want to know that before planning to propose.

How to do it depends on what kind of person she is. For instance, if she doesn’t like attention, don’t do it in front of a bunch of people.
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She definitely knows and we’ve talked about it before… plenty. In fact, I had a gut feeling when we finally started dating, knew she wasn’t where I was, and realized that we needed time to find out whether or not that gut feeling was correct. To further clarify where we are, the entire time we were flirting to all outward appearances we were acting very much like a couple. So while we’ve officially been dating for 5 months it feels like longer.
 
What a wonderful time in your life, so much to think about and look forward to. I hope she is Catholic as this won’t be as nice if she is not. How about Saturday Mass together, out to a nice dinner and when you are alone as you drop her off, get down on that knee the old fashioned way. It’s worked over and over again for years.
 
Wait a year. The first six months, you are on drug due to the overdose of love, then back to reality. Meaning, you will have more clarity about your intention if you wait at least a year.

Get to know each other as a couple then you will know. You need to talk about thing such money, children education etc…

Congratulations, i am happy for you!
 
Chantal25 said:
Wait a year. The first six months, you are on drug due to the overdose of love, then back to reality. Meaning, you will have more clarity about your intention if you wait at least a year.

Get to know each other as a couple then you will know. You need to talk about thing such money, children education etc…

Congratulations, i am happy for you!
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Don’t get me wrong. We’ve talked about a lot over the past couple months and that initial high wore off three months in. Besides we were acting like a couple long before we actually started dating, and my love for her has been a long time developing. If you count that time it’s been almost a year as it is. Also, it’s important to me to k ow how well we manage conflict, and I feel like enough has arisen to know that we can manage pretty well.
 
Do you attend Mass together? Go to the most beautiful church around, and after Mass, propose in the most beautiful spot in church.

I know someone who was proposed to under a statue of the Blessed Mother. 🙂
 
I am much more romantic and sentimental than my wife She was not the kind looking for the perfect proposal.

I simply asked. She said she would think about it (after knowing me for five years!) and then said yes, and we went ring shopping.

Getting engaged is serious.

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She’s definitely looking for a romantic proposal. (I kind of asked while cuddling the other night and she flat out said that wasn’t the way to ask).

I feel like I need to take it up a notch after our Valentine’s dinner, where I made her a nice candlelight dinner complete with tie and blazer and chocolate and a thank you note ate her table setting. How do I up it?
 
brgregmack said:
She’s definitely looking for a romantic proposal. (I kind of asked while cuddling the other night and she flat out said that wasn’t the way to ask).
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Interesting. In these days of equality between the genders, I find this surprising. So, after the wedding, she would expect you participate fully and equally with housework and child care, not consider her your property, be an equal partner, but you have to come up with some super romantic situation to ask HER to marry YOU?

You are marrying each other. It’s a partnership.

(Wow. When did I turn into a curmudgeon? You kids get off my lawn.)
 
There’s still a division of labor sometimes, even in this modern era. For instance, I do not cook. Almost ever. I only cook when it’s burgers or when my wife is either away or feeling ill. Otherwise, I do not cook dinner. Or lunch on the weekends. It’s not my job.

I also almost never vacuum.

The dishes, the trash, the laundry and straightening up the house, on the other hand, are basically mine all the time.
 
I think I have an idea… involving her little sister, dog, and our spot by the river:D
 
Yes. Her little sister is willing to help me. It’s all happening in April at our favorite spot by the river 😃
 
… so… I’m not very sneaky, and she’s already guessed where. Not sure I want to change the where, so how can I make the details a surprise and make it special???

Part of the idea is to have her sister waiting at our spot with a bouquet while we take our regular Sunday walk after Mass, I tell her why I’ve chosen that spot, then ask. Anything I could add?🤷
 
Even if this plan sounds fine, someone please let me know for peace of mind.
 
I thought about just saying “I’ll pray for you”, but that would seem to imply that I don’t have high expectations for your proposal, lol. It sounds good to me. I don’t think one can go wrong with taking a knee during a proposal, btw.

I’ll pray for you 🙂

God bless,
 
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