Prostatitis, masturbation, and confession

[esieffe]

I have suffered most of my life, even when I was in my late teens with enlarged prostate problems. In my 20s I went to a Urologist who treated my Uncle with the same problem. He told me that I needed to maintain the same number of “experiences” a week, not more not less. Not following this advice led to Prostatitis. This meant that I had to take an antibiotic to cure the condition.

Prostatitis, which I suffer from even today off and on has an embarrassing result, and that is loss of the ability to empty my bladder completely, and the possibility of a urine stream after I have “zipped up” and left the bathroom. I have been given comments about this from co-workers and others.

All of this has left me with a fear of prostate cancer. I have even gone as far as to consider adult diapers, which is a bit depressing and slightly humiliating.

I have discussed this with a Priest, and they have said they are not sure how to advise me. So I have opted to masturbate VERY infrequently, and to be on the safe side, I confess it. I am not married as I have a slight touch of aspergers syndrome. I would drive my wife slowly crazy if I got married.

Now here are my thoughts on masturbation. It is a slippery slope. When I was a child and did this, I felt guilty afterwards. I grew up as an Episcopalian, so there was no guilt imposed on me, yet I felt it. No one told me it was wrong, yet I knew somehow it was.

To do this act, you often have to conjure up images that are very impure. This is the conundrum if you will. I pray that God takes all of this under consideration. Till I receive satisfactory dispensation for this, I have no choice but to treat this situation as mortal sin, and hope that I do not die between confession and the act, which I keep to a minimum, which is not so hard to do at the age of 52.

Question: Should I continue with this pattern and yet treat it as mortal sin? This means I have to go to confession at least two to three times a month. I am willing to do that. Should I have my prostate removed? I would rather do that then spend an eternity in hell.

Blessing

 

[boomerang]

Hello esieffe. I’m sorry about your health issues, I know prostatitis is miserable. I may get rocks thrown at me for saying this, but if I were you, I would do as your doctor says, then do the Divine Mercy devotion. Go to confession on Divine Mercy Sunday and ask for forgiveness. Trust in the Lord, and throw yourself on His mercy.

Our Lord said to St. Faustina: “I desire that the Feast of Mercy be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which grace flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet.”

ewtn.com/devotionals/mercy/feast.htm

 

[Dancer1409]

I’m not completely sure how to answer your question. I guess I would recommend talking to a priest or maybe even trying to talk with a bishop about it if none of the local priests could answer it. I’m not sure confessing a sin with the intent to do it again qualifies as making a good confession though. I am praying for you. it sounds like you have a tough cross to bear.

 

[CaptainPicard]

Real tough situation.
There isn’t any dispensation anybody can give you for sin, but one thing to consider is that not all gravely immoral actions are necessarily mortal sins. The guilt incurred by the sinner can have mitigating factors. While this is true of any sin, in paragraph 2352, the catechism talks specifically about masturbation and possible mitigating factors. It states the sin might not be mortal for young persons because the force of habit and their immaturity is taken into account when judging their guilt. Your condition could very possibly mitigate the guilt that you incur.

But I have to think there might be other treatments and maybe you should try another doctor. A quick google search shows that alpha blockers could help by relaxing the muscles in that area. My uncle had surgery for, I think, that exact same thing. If I recall correctly, they removed part his prostate. Although the results weren’t awesome. Now he can’t hold it for any amount of time, so he always has to sit close to the bathroom. But I believe the original problem was fixed. At any rate, I would recommend doing more research and seeing another doctor, particularly a specialist in the field.

 

[OurLadysServant]

Ask your doctor and a few doctors whether this is essential for you medically . What are the side effects of not doing this?

Then if they say it is medically necessary. Then go to a few priests, or pastors, or bishops, tell them what your doctors say and ask them: ‘What do you recommend I do?’

Submit it to the medical professionals and then to the church.
Then you will have your research done and will have received the advise from God’s chosen shepherds.

 

[Perfume]

Hello,

Lots of people here may not agree with me but i don’t see the sinfull act on your masturbating in these conditions.

Plus, masturbatins is scientifically classed as a natural need, hardly controlled on will. This kind of need come and go without asking for permmissions. According to me, as long as u do not wrong anyone, even your self, there’s no wrong on doing so.

I may even add, as it is a medical needs suggested by pros, not doing it may harm your health. I see this as perrishing God’Temple. This is your body’s need. Asking your to do surgery when it’s not required is just cruelty and judgmentalism. I don’t see the love concept on that.

Torturing yourself is not an act of faith. Just, take care to act considerately to others and their good.

 

[Ophelia23]

Hello,

Lots of people here may not agree with me but i don’t see the sinfull act on your masturbating in these conditions.

Plus, masturbatins is scientifically classed as a natural need, hardly controlled on will. This kind of need come and go without asking for permmissions. According to me, as long as u do not wrong anyone, even your self, there’s no wrong on doing so.

I may even add, as it is a medical needs suggested by pros, not doing it may harm your health. I see this as perrishing God’Temple. This is your body’s need. Asking your to do surgery when it’s not required is just cruelty and judgmentalism. I don’t see the love concept on that.

Torturing yourself is not an act of faith. Just, take care to act considerately to others and their good.

I would try to keep advice on a Catholic form at least moderately in line with what the Catholic Church teaches. It is irresponsible to advise others to sin just because you personally disagree with Church teaching. There is thankfully a separation between our opinions and the Truth of the Church.

With that said, OP, I would advise speaking with a Catholic doctor. Talk to your church and friends in your parish for recommendations. Of course you don’t have to talk to parishioners about your medical questions–I just mean to ask around about a good doctor based in our Faith. They are harder to find, but they are out there. You may possibly want to speak with a doctor who focuses on NFP (Natural Family Planning) because there are prolonged periods of abstinence within that field that can and have caused prostatis.

It’s so much easier said than done, but put your faith in God. My prayers are with you! You are valued, you are loved, you are necessary to the body of Christ and thus necessary to all of us. God be with you!

 

[truetofaith]

I have suffered most of my life, even when I was in my late teens with enlarged prostate problems. In my 20s I went to a Urologist who treated my Uncle with the same problem. He told me that I needed to maintain the same number of “experiences” a week, not more not less. Not following this advice led to Prostatitis. This meant that I had to take an antibiotic to cure the condition.

Prostatitis, which I suffer from even today off and on has an embarrassing result, and that is loss of the ability to empty my bladder completely, and the possibility of a urine stream after I have “zipped up” and left the bathroom. I have been given comments about this from co-workers and others.

All of this has left me with a fear of prostate cancer. I have even gone as far as to consider adult diapers, which is a bit depressing and slightly humiliating.

I have discussed this with a Priest, and they have said they are not sure how to advise me. So I have opted to masturbate VERY infrequently, and to be on the safe side, I confess it. I am not married as I have a slight touch of aspergers syndrome. I would drive my wife slowly crazy if I got married.

Now here are my thoughts on masturbation. It is a slippery slope. When I was a child and did this, I felt guilty afterwards. I grew up as an Episcopalian, so there was no guilt imposed on me, yet I felt it. No one told me it was wrong, yet I knew somehow it was.

To do this act, you often have to conjure up images that are very impure. This is the conundrum if you will. I pray that God takes all of this under consideration. Till I receive satisfactory dispensation for this, I have no choice but to treat this situation as mortal sin, and hope that I do not die between confession and the act, which I keep to a minimum, which is not so hard to do at the age of 52.

Question: Should I continue with this pattern and yet treat it as mortal sin? This means I have to go to confession at least two to three times a month. I am willing to do that. Should I have my prostate removed? I would rather do that then spend an eternity in hell.

Blessing

Didn’t we have this debate under another Topic Heading?

 

[Scottgun]

Catholics cannot reasonably or morally counsel someone to commit an intrinsicly and gravely disordered act under the rubric of less-than-full culpability. The choices are:

1. Find a good Catholic doctor (or at least one respectful of your conundrum) that can explore non-sinful methods of relief.
2. Bear the cross.

Now before some chucklehead chimes in with “easy for you to say!” I say sometimes a hard teaching is a hard teaching with no way to finesse it–it’s still the truth no matter who tells you.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

If a woman can take the pill for medicinal reasons, why can’t a man masturbate for medical reasons? If a priest can’t help you, talk to your bishop.

 

[Ignatius]

I have suffered most of my life, even when I was in my late teens with enlarged prostate problems. In my 20s I went to a Urologist who treated my Uncle with the same problem. He told me that I needed to maintain the same number of “experiences” a week, not more not less. Not following this advice led to Prostatitis. This meant that I had to take an antibiotic to cure the condition.

Prostatitis, which I suffer from even today off and on has an embarrassing result, and that is loss of the ability to empty my bladder completely, and the possibility of a urine stream after I have “zipped up” and left the bathroom. I have been given comments about this from co-workers and others.

All of this has left me with a fear of prostate cancer. I have even gone as far as to consider adult diapers, which is a bit depressing and slightly humiliating.

I have discussed this with a Priest, and they have said they are not sure how to advise me. So I have opted to masturbate VERY infrequently, and to be on the safe side, I confess it. I am not married as I have a slight touch of aspergers syndrome. I would drive my wife slowly crazy if I got married.

Now here are my thoughts on masturbation. It is a slippery slope. When I was a child and did this, I felt guilty afterwards. I grew up as an Episcopalian, so there was no guilt imposed on me, yet I felt it. No one told me it was wrong, yet I knew somehow it was.

To do this act, you often have to conjure up images that are very impure. This is the conundrum if you will. I pray that God takes all of this under consideration. Till I receive satisfactory dispensation for this, I have no choice but to treat this situation as mortal sin, and hope that I do not die between confession and the act, which I keep to a minimum, which is not so hard to do at the age of 52.

Question: Should I continue with this pattern and yet treat it as mortal sin? This means I have to go to confession at least two to three times a month. I am willing to do that. Should I have my prostate removed? I would rather do that then spend an eternity in hell.

Blessing

Have you seen a urologist who is in line with Church teachings? If not, he might have an approach that alleviates the problems engendered by the prostatitis without having causing the moral issues.

It is always a good idea to get a second opinion on serious medical issues anyway.

 

[esieffe]

I would try to keep advice on a Catholic form at least moderately in line with what the Catholic Church teaches. It is irresponsible to advise others to sin just because you personally disagree with Church teaching. There is thankfully a separation between our opinions and the Truth of the Church.

With that said, OP, I would advise speaking with a Catholic doctor. Talk to your church and friends in your parish for recommendations. Of course you don’t have to talk to parishioners about your medical questions–I just mean to ask around about a good doctor based in our Faith. They are harder to find, but they are out there. You may possibly want to speak with a doctor who focuses on NFP (Natural Family Planning) because there are prolonged periods of abstinence within that field that can and have caused prostatis.

It’s so much easier said than done, but put your faith in God. My prayers are with you! You are valued, you are loved, you are necessary to the body of Christ and thus necessary to all of us. God be with you!

Hi, I was concerned about starting this thread for the reasons you listed, so I pray no harm is done, and that people who do not have this condition, use this as an excuse to “run wild” with it. I pray they consider the context of my post carefully.

That being said, I have asked about a Catholic Urologist in my Parish which has over 4000 yes, 4000 families. So far, no go. The frequency with which this happens is not often. Medications I already take sort of dampen the fires, so to speak already.

The exam for this is dreadful. And the end result has been the same. Antibiotics and the usual advice. I must also say that cancer runs through my family, though so far, no prostate cancer. It is usually another type and strikes in later years.

Thank you for your thoughts.

 

[esieffe]

Catholics cannot reasonably or morally counsel someone to commit an intrinsicly and gravely disordered act under the rubric of less-than-full culpability. The choices are:

1. Find a good Catholic doctor (or at least one respectful of your conundrum) that can explore non-sinful methods of relief.
2. Bear the cross.

Now before some chucklehead chimes in with “easy for you to say!” I say sometimes a hard teaching is a hard teaching with no way to finesse it–it’s still the truth no matter who tells you.

There are worse crosses to bear, I also have to take care of another family member who suffers from a mental disorder, and a broken, banged up body both of which make it difficult for him to find work. I have a full time job and a part time job, and still making ends meet is very tough. I have offered all of this up to God. I have also talked to several priest who are hesitant to offer spiritual advice due to the medical issues.

 

[esieffe]

If a woman can take the pill for medicinal reasons, why can’t a man masturbate for medical reasons? If a priest can’t help you, talk to your bishop.

That is what some of the laity I interact with at Church, who are friends have said. Antibiotics are not a long term answer for obvious reasons. Not only that, Id rather have a root canal than go through another prostate exam.

 

[esieffe]

Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful replies. The overall problems with the physical side of this issue have worsened since my conversion, however… becoming Catholic has saved my life in so many ways.

I embrace all the teachings of the Church. With what I have gone through as a caregiver over the past five years, my becoming a part of the Universal Church has brought be out of despair, and the weight of lifelong sin has been removed. Being Catholic is a way of life, whereas, at least for me, everything else was just a Sunday.

Blessings to all.
-E

PS: I have done the Novena of Divine Mercy. I always feel great peace afterwards, and while I do the regular rosary, I feel the same. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

 

[Ophelia23]

Hi, I was concerned about starting this thread for the reasons you listed, so I pray no harm is done, and that people who do not have this condition, use this as an excuse to “run wild” with it. I pray they consider the context of my post carefully.

That being said, I have asked about a Catholic Urologist in my Parish which has over 4000 yes, 4000 families. So far, no go. The frequency with which this happens is not often. Medications I already take sort of dampen the fires, so to speak already.

The exam for this is dreadful. And the end result has been the same. Antibiotics and the usual advice. I must also say that cancer runs through my family, though so far, no prostate cancer. It is usually another type and strikes in later years.

Thank you for your thoughts.

I do hope you see that the first half of my comment (Which was a little chastising, I will admit) was directed toward another person and not to you. I think you’ve posed a very fair question.

God be with you!

 

[esieffe]

I do hope you see that the first half of my comment (Which was a little chastising, I will admit) was directed toward another person and not to you. I think you’ve posed a very fair question.

God be with you!

Not to worry. It too was an important point. I have had this question on my mind for quite some time, but never posted it for that very reason, but one glass of wine was all it took to overcome my hesitation and give in to my concern. This afternoon, I even considered asking the mods if they would consider taking it down, but then again, if someone takes it out of context and twists things around, then it is on them. One could do that with any post I suppose.

I wonder if God has simply given me a puzzle to solve. It was very kind of you to respond, though I thought it might have been directed at someone else. A dose of caution needed to be added to the conversation, so thank you for that!

Happy Thanksgiving and blessings-
-E

 

[underacloud]

This sounds like an awful thing to endure, so I am sorry you have to deal with this. That said, too much advice so far in this thread of off-target.

Till I receive satisfactory dispensation for this…

No such thing. No priest can dispense you to commit grave sin.

I have no choice but to treat this situation as mortal sin

Sure - in which case you must stop.

and hope that I do not die between confession and the act, which I keep to a minimum, which is not so hard to do at the age of 52.

Two problems here:

a) your confession is not valid if you intend to continue to commit the sin.

b) you are placing fear of prostate cancer ahead of fear of hell. This is simply absurd.

Should I have my prostate removed? I would rather do that then spend an eternity in hell.

That’s a medical issue, but at least in this comment you have recognised that your spiritual wellbeing is more important than your physical wellbeing.

 

[CaptainPicard]

Hi, I was concerned about starting this thread for the reasons you listed, so I pray no harm is done, and that people who do not have this condition, use this as an excuse to “run wild” with it. I pray they consider the context of my post carefully.

That being said, I have asked about a Catholic Urologist in my Parish which has over 4000 yes, 4000 families. So far, no go. The frequency with which this happens is not often. Medications I already take sort of dampen the fires, so to speak already.

The exam for this is dreadful. And the end result has been the same. Antibiotics and the usual advice. I must also say that cancer runs through my family, though so far, no prostate cancer. It is usually another type and strikes in later years.

Thank you for your thoughts.

I think we’ve established two things. You shouldn’t sin and you shouldn’t just watch your prostate deteriorate.

That said, it seems to me that you need to spread your net much wider in terms of your healthcare.

I was recently diagnosed with a semi-serious health condition. This is what I did. I read everything I could about it online. I came across some good advice, some bad, but eventually I became knowledgeable enough to know what sort of treatment would work. I then sent messages to a host of different surgeons over a span of two states, based on an online directory I found online. I now have found one doctor with which I will make an appointment with tomorrow and I’m confident that he’ll give me the best chance of success at healing. I know what he’s capable of doing, I’ve read his reviews on line, I’ve read an in-depth description of somebody who he performed the exact same procedure on that I need.

Every major illness has an online community where you can go to learn and discuss.
Here’s one for prostatis:
prostatitis.org/
and the associated community forums: forum.prostatitis.org/viewforum.php?f=2&sid=399c0ecb47fb0ffe8af4e768e14b0b06

Hope this helps. I’ll pray for you.