They best start using a new calendar - can’t have year 1 starting with Christ - maybe from the beginning of the big bang. Let’s see - can we fit 10,761,544,322 on a calendar?
Also, get rid of all those nasty dollar bills that kids use to buy lunch with the “In God We Trust” and all. We’ll have to start issuing credit cards to children to draw from their parents bank accounts - hmmm - not a bad idea there - might find some other uses for such a card.
Land sakes - we can’t talk about the Pilgrims either - how about just talking about the nice, kind, and gentle Native Americans and how they did a war dance of thanksgiving to some non-descript god that doesn’t offend anyone with talk of right and wrong.
Declaration of Independence too? Why did they have to put God in that - now we have to all those history textbooks.
Let’s see. The Pledge is out. All schools that are named after people that were Christians have to be renamed. All authors that were Christians cannot be used in English class. All musicians that were Christians cannot be used in music. Who knows what influence they were operating under? They may be swaying you subconciously with their work - especially that Handel, Verdi, Bach, and Beethoven with all the masses and requiems and carols and stuff. No books published by Christian publishers.
President’s Day is out - Lincoln and Washington were Christians.
MLK Day - no chance - the guy was a minister and had degrees in theology for crying out loud. No Easter, Good Friday. No July 4th remembrances(see D of I above).
We cannot discuss anything involving the Supreme Court or our law system with all the oaths on the Bible and such and, my goodness, there is even pictures of Moses in the Supreme Court.
Math - nothing from Pascal - He was fine until that wager thing.
Playground time only when the kids cannot hear church bells.
No “God bless you’s” when someone sneezes. No “Jesus Christ” or “God” in vain. No “heaven’s sakes”. No “What the Hell’s”.
All kids name Peter, James, John, Philip, Andrew, Noah, Isaac, Jacob, Elizabeth, Mary, Margaret, Paul, Joseph, Mathew, Abraham, Rachel, Rebecca, Teresa, John Paul, Francis, Anthony, Sara, Noel, Gabriel, Gabriela, Johnnette, Patrick, Joshua, and Michael (for starters) have to be assigned school names - use name tags to make it easier.
Kids cannot go to Christian Hospitals if they get sick. Make sure the buses don’t traverse any streets with Christian names.
No Internet without a filter for Christian sites.
Did you check the janitor’s religious background?
This should get us started. Keep at it. As soon as we are completely dis-functional and incapable of learning, we will know for sure that we have cleaned God right out of the school.