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VanitasVanitatum
Guest
It is possible that she was in a wealthy family and sheltered, but didn’t develop any bad traits.
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MeganCecilia
Guest
I don’t like the way you speak about your wife 
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Rozellelily
Guest
Hearing from Australia (where I am living),
how Americans talk about this so openly sounds so amusing to us.
Guns are so non-existent here that to hear someone say “doesn’t your wife carry her own gun” makes me chuckle.
Back to the topic -
OP:
it all depends on how your wife perceives it.
I.e., does she share your views on modesty, religion, etc?
Were you aware of her viewpoints before you got married?
If you are already on the same page and you mention about her skirt, she will probably be fine, but if she has a different view on modesty “standards”, or perhaps doesn’t care about the concept of modesty altogether, then it is an issue.
For example, apparently the actor Mel Gibson would tell his (much younger!) wife what to wear and have a tantrum when she didn’t agree.
DON’T be one of those guys.
I think married couples of the older generations will often put (name removed by moderator)ut about each others outfits, hairstyle etc but I personally would not like it.
And as for that old “do I look fat in this” how should a man answer dilemma, try being Croatian. If we ask one of our guys this question they will just outright say yes, if they think you do!
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superhancpetram
Guest
I guess it’s just a very different culture. And I guess if it is true that nobody in Australia (or virtually nobody) is out there carrying a gun, then you perhaps don’t feel the need to carry one for self-defense. Wyoming has some of the most liberal gun laws in the US and one of the highest rates of gun ownership (most households in Wyoming have at least one gun).
I don’t know whether any of our British contributors can comment, but I have heard that in London there is a growing culture of people carrying knives for self-defense, and people who wouldn’t choose to carry a knife now carry one because they are afraid not to. Personally, I think that getting yourself into a knife fight is likely more dangerous than drawing a gun.
Of course, we don’t only have guns for self-defense; a lot of folks around here are hunters too.
I don’t know whether any of our British contributors can comment, but I have heard that in London there is a growing culture of people carrying knives for self-defense, and people who wouldn’t choose to carry a knife now carry one because they are afraid not to. Personally, I think that getting yourself into a knife fight is likely more dangerous than drawing a gun.
Of course, we don’t only have guns for self-defense; a lot of folks around here are hunters too.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
I tend to agree with Megan and LittleLady. To me, your posts about your wife do not speak about her in a respectful manner.
Having said that, I understand couples are all different and some of them do have an agreed-upon dynamic of one spouse telling the other what to do, even though it makes a lot of us uncomfortable because that is not our idea of a healthy relationship.
However, keep in mind that even if this works for you now, you might predecease your wife, or become incapacitated. You should encourage her to be self-sufficient and make and trust her own judgments, because some day she might have to. If she goes through her life relying on others to give her direction, then one day when you’re no longer there she might rely on the wrong person, with negative consequences.
Having said that, I understand couples are all different and some of them do have an agreed-upon dynamic of one spouse telling the other what to do, even though it makes a lot of us uncomfortable because that is not our idea of a healthy relationship.
However, keep in mind that even if this works for you now, you might predecease your wife, or become incapacitated. You should encourage her to be self-sufficient and make and trust her own judgments, because some day she might have to. If she goes through her life relying on others to give her direction, then one day when you’re no longer there she might rely on the wrong person, with negative consequences.
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RolandThompsonGunner
Guest
It’s very much a regional thing in the US. There are parts of the US where a woman carrying a pistol would be very strange and parts where it’s totally normal. Keep in mind that the US is huge; there are lots of relatively rural areas where law enforcement will be unable to respond quickly to an emergency. A friend of mine in Alaska has to keep a shotgun in his car not because he’s paranoid or looking for a fight but because running in a bear or a wolf is a very real possibility.
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ZemD
Guest
In defense of @childinthefaith, I feel like he’s being hung out to dry in this thread, I was extremely naive and frankly stupid about “real world” issues when my husband and I started dating at 17. My mom spoiled me as much as she could even though we were lower middle class, my husband was raised much less spoiled.
When we first got married there were lots of arguments from him correcting me. I was very arrogant and dumb at the same time, a really bad combination. Now that I’m a little older I realize, he was almost always right, and now I’m not so niave and can make better decisions independently, because of his direction.
If this man truly loves his wife, which I wouldn’t assume he does not, him correcting her and looking out isn’t a bad thing. And like someone else said all marriages are different!
When we first got married there were lots of arguments from him correcting me. I was very arrogant and dumb at the same time, a really bad combination. Now that I’m a little older I realize, he was almost always right, and now I’m not so niave and can make better decisions independently, because of his direction.
If this man truly loves his wife, which I wouldn’t assume he does not, him correcting her and looking out isn’t a bad thing. And like someone else said all marriages are different!
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
I think one concern here is that it’s been a long time since the wife in this case was a naive teenager; based on OP’s past posts, they have an adult child and are thus middle-aged. Even though a wife in middle age might still rely on her husband’s judgment for major things like financial matters, property matters etc, most women in middle age, especially those who have been married a long time, do not need their husband to tell them if an outfit has too short of a skirt or is otherwise inappropriate. At the very least, they’ve learned from his past instruction that he expects their skirt to be a certain length, without him needing to approve it every time wife gets dressed to leave the house.
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Rozellelily
Guest
Thankfully the climate here is different from in the USA. At least from what we see on the news from the US it seems more scary, but perhaps the media only shows certain things which makes it scarier that it is?
95 % percent of the population here does not own a gun, unless they are a farmer or a criminal.
Gun crime still happens occasionally, either due to domestic violence issues, or bikie gangs in certain areas, but it’s still relatively rare.
It works well for Australia, but I don’t know how I would feel about it if I lived in America. Things look to be getting out of hand in regards to protests, racial division, etc…
95 % percent of the population here does not own a gun, unless they are a farmer or a criminal.
Gun crime still happens occasionally, either due to domestic violence issues, or bikie gangs in certain areas, but it’s still relatively rare.
It works well for Australia, but I don’t know how I would feel about it if I lived in America. Things look to be getting out of hand in regards to protests, racial division, etc…
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Rozellelily
Guest
I’m very sorry to make light of your situation OP but this made me laugh. What does one do now lol?
It just shows how “confusing” this gender ideology truly is.
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Sarcelle
Guest
It’s his own words that show us what he thinks of her.
That she is naive and needs to be controlled to be protected.
This is why he wants to control how she dresses.
That she is naive and needs to be controlled to be protected.
This is why he wants to control how she dresses.
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Sarcelle
Guest
I don’t think we’re talking about a young blushing newly wed wife, but probably a couple in their 50s.
Sure it’s possible. But there are two sides to every story and we’re only hearing his. I think his wife at least deserves the benefit of the doubt.
In any case, if I found out my husband were talking about me the way the OP is talking about his wife, I wouldn’t be very happy about it, and I’m sure there are other wives (some on this thread) who feel the same.
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superhancpetram
Guest
Yes, not everyone who carries a gun actually wants to. I know a British/Australian bloke in Wisconsin who is a veteran of the Royal Australian Navy. He got his first gun this summer. Very reluctantly.
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dochawk
Guest
I once hired, as part of a state training program, a mother of grown children.
She didn’t know the difference between a square and a rectangle.
Seriously.
And once I explained and showed her, she still couldn’t catch on.
And when I went out of the office again, she pestered the other secretaries the rest of the afternoon asking which were which!
(we were dealing with square professional photo prints and 3x5 from the drug store . . .)
So there are people that get to that age without, well, being functional . . .
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