Protestant-centric Ceremony

[Thunderbird]

Lord knows I probably won’t have to worry about this issue for a long time but I thought I’d throw this out there anyway as a sort of FYI.

I come from a strongly baptist background. My mother (a minister of the baptist faith) has been more or less accepting with my choice to join the CC. At the very least, she hasn’t disowned me.

Thing is, I know that when I get married (whenever that is), she is going to want me to have the ceremony back in DC at the church where I grew up. Naturally, said church is Baptist. It’s going to be a trial to get her to change her mind so I’m wondering if it’s possible for two catholics to get married in a Baptist Church. I’m pretty sure that if I were to have the ceremony in a Catholic Church, she probably won’t attend.

Like I said, I won’t have to worry about this issue for a long time but curiosity is driving me to ask now anyway.

So, what do you guys think?

-Thunderbird

 

[lizaanne]

What do I think? That you will be an adult, a Catholic, and will be able to make your own decisions regarding when and where you are to be married.

No - you may not be married in any other location but a Catholic Church. Unless you get approval from your Bishop, and I can’t imagine any Bishop giving approval to be married in a Baptist place of worship because someone’s mom is having a fit over it.

When that day comes for you it will be a moment for you to live the example to your family of being Catholic. That means following the law of the Church - Christ’s only legitimate Church.

~Liza

 

[1ke]

Thing is, I know that when I get married (whenever that is), she is going to want me to have the ceremony back in DC at the church where I grew up. Naturally, said church is Baptist. It’s going to be a trial to get her to change her mind

She has no say in the matter, actually. You are an adult. You make your marriage preparations in consultation with your future spouse and your priest.

Everyone else is an invited guest, who can like it or lump it. Including family.

so I’m wondering if it’s possible for two catholics to get married in a Baptist Church.

No.

Catholics must marry in the Catholic form-- in the parish Church of the bride or groom, with a priest/deacon and two witnesses.

For two Catholics to marry in any way other than those set out in canonical requirements regarding the place of marriage requires the *Bishop *to give a dispensation-- and this would be highly unlikely. The bishop might give a dispensation in a mixed marriage situation, but when both parties are Catholic… no, don’t count on it.

I’m pretty sure that if I were to have the ceremony in a Catholic Church, she probably won’t attend.

That is her loss.

Like I said, I won’t have to worry about this issue for a long time but curiosity is driving me to ask now anyway.

So, what do you guys think?

I think you are:

(a) an adult who is not under the authority of their parents
(b) a Catholic
(c) too worried about what your mother thinks and does

When it comes time for you to marry, your concern should be on the Sacrament not on your mother’s issues.

 

[Thunderbird]

Ehh that’s what I thought. And really, you’re absolutely right and I know you’re right. It’s just that I’ve never been much of a confrontational person and that will probably be the second most confrontational thing I would be doing in my life.

Guess I’ll cross that bridge when I reach it. Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut, guys.

 

[kage_ar]

Question here - will you be the bride or the groom?

Weddings usually takes place in the home Parish of the bride.

 

[Thunderbird]

Bride, and that’s what I’ve heard but in the case of a fellow exRCIAer the ceremony is being held at his catholic church and not hers…which kinda threw me for a loop.

 

[BlestOne]

It is easier to get a dispensation to have a Baptist minister co-celebrate… as in do the readings and other parts of the ceremony than to get a dispensation to have a Baptist wedding… something to think about.

 

[kage_ar]

Bride, and that’s what I’ve heard but in the case of a fellow exRCIAer the ceremony is being held at his catholic church and not hers…which kinda threw me for a loop.

It is not a “have to”, just custom. Sometimes they are held in the home Parish of the groom.

Sounds as if you have moved away from your mom - so, you join your local Parish and it will become your home Parish. You can get married there

 

[lizaanne]

Ehh that’s what I thought. And really, you’re absolutely right and I know you’re right. It’s just that I’ve never been much of a confrontational person and that will probably be the second most confrontational thing I would be doing in my life.

Guess I’ll cross that bridge when I reach it. Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut, guys.

Actually, this would be a great time to start mentioning little things like this to your mom to soften the blow.

Something along the lines of: Mom, my new Church is so beautiful, it would be a lovely place for a wedding one day. ----And see how that one flies.

Better to bring things like this up before they have the potential to become very personal and emotionally charged when real events are involved. Just start letting her know that you are no longer Baptist, and weddings, baptisms (of BABIES), and other events will be happening in YOUR Faith and not hers.

~Liza

 

[Phemie]

Lord knows I probably won’t have to worry about this issue for a long time but I thought I’d throw this out there anyway as a sort of FYI.

I come from a strongly baptist background. My mother (a minister of the baptist faith) has been more or less accepting with my choice to join the CC. At the very least, she hasn’t disowned me.

Thing is, I know that when I get married (whenever that is), she is going to want me to have the ceremony back in DC at the church where I grew up. Naturally, said church is Baptist. It’s going to be a trial to get her to change her mind so I’m wondering if it’s possible for two catholics to get married in a Baptist Church. I’m pretty sure that if I were to have the ceremony in a Catholic Church, she probably won’t attend.

Like I said, I won’t have to worry about this issue for a long time but curiosity is driving me to ask now anyway.

So, what do you guys think?

-Thunderbird

Did you say your mom is a Baptist minister?
That may well be reason enough for the Bishop to grant a dispensation for you to marry in a Baptist Chuch. We recently had a young couple marry in the United Church (both were Catholic) because the bride’s grandfather is a United Church Minister.

Keeping peace in the family can also be a reason for a dispensation from canonical form (even for a civil wedding). You could have a priest there to give a blessing or do a reading.

 

[lizaanne]

Did you say your mom is a Baptist minister?
That may well be reason enough for the Bishop to grant a dispensation for you to marry in a Baptist Chuch. We recently had a young couple marry in the United Church (both were Catholic) because the bride’s grandfather is a United Church Minister.

Keeping peace in the family can also be a reason for a dispensation from canonical form (even for a civil wedding). You could have a priest there to give a blessing or do a reading.

How sad is that.

I’m sorry, as horrible as that may sound, I think it would be just as horrible to turn away from one’s chosen Faith in such a way.

Good thing I can’t be a Bishop. I’d never allow such a thing.

~Liza

 

[1ke]

It is easier to get a dispensation to have a Baptist minister co-celebrate… as in do the readings and other parts of the ceremony than to get a dispensation to have a Baptist wedding… something to think about.

Keep in mind the OP is talking about two Catholics marrying each other, not a mixed marriage situation.

A Baptist minister cannot “co-celebrate” a Catholic wedding.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Did you say your mom is a Baptist minister?
That may well be reason enough for the Bishop to grant a dispensation for you to marry in a Baptist Chuch. We recently had a young couple marry in the United Church (both were Catholic) because the bride’s grandfather is a United Church Minister.

Keeping peace in the family can also be a reason for a dispensation from canonical form (even for a civil wedding). You could have a priest there to give a blessing or do a reading.

While I never say never, and there are some strange things that happen in some liberal parishes and dioceses, I would hope that 2 Catholics would find a bishop with enough moxie not to allow this in the US, esp. to have the priest “give a blessing” as if he is some extra in a production number .

This is what broke the camel’s back when my daughter married my ex-son-in-law. He was raised Congregationalist and Methodist, and his mother wanted the wedding in their Methodist parish in their home town. “The priest can come over from the Catholic church and give a blessing. We’ll call him a couple days before the wedding,” she said.

I feel for your mom, Thunderbird, and can understand why she might be upset. But you are Catholic now, and you are planning on marrying a Catholic “someday” when you do. I like BlestOne’s idea of getting a dispensation for your mom to participate at your parish church, as well as lizanne’s of getting your mom used to the idea.