Protestant family... Catholic wedding

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I wrote a post on here a few months back about what to do about my wedding ceremony since all of my fiancé’s family is Catholic and all of mine is Protestant. (I am catholic) We have decided to do a non-Mass wedding for many reasons. I was just wondering if there is anything my parents can be involved in or anything you recommend that my family could do to make them feel included?
 
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Non Catholic parents may be included in the processional.

Have you visited


There is an excellent video that shows what the procession is like in the new Rite of Marriage.

This steps through your exact service:


As you see, there are not the “extras” that are seen at many Protestant weddings, but, you could do them at the reception (unity candle, unity sand, etc.)

Because this is not Mass, I am unsure if a non-Catholic can do the readings. At Mass the readers must be Catholic. Check with your Diocese Liturgy Office on that one.
 
I would suggest asking your priest about ways to include your family in the service.

Our priest did have a unity candle lighting at my wedding - my Catholic mom lit it along with my Presbyterian mother-in-law. This was at a Mass and it was his idea. This was some years ago so I don’t know if the rules changed in the meantime.
We also had two of the Protestant family members as best man and matron of honor.
 
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In the more recent Rite of Marriage, there are two Optional customs permitted:

Optional: The Blessing and Giving of the Arras , a tradition important in Hispanic and Filipino families

Optional: The Blessing and Placing of the Lazo or the Veil , a tradition important in Hispanic and Filipino families
 
What year is the latest revision?

I found this article from 2012 about the Unity Candle and other “optional” things that some priests might let you do and some might not.

catholicphilly.com

What’s with the unity candle in a Catholic wedding?

Q. I've heard that the Vatican does not approve of the lighting of the unity candle at wedding ceremonies. Is this true? (Albany, N.Y.) A. For those unfamiliar with it, the ritual of the unity candle is sometimes inserted into a Catholic wedding ceremony following the exchange of vows and...
catholicphilly.com catholicphilly.com

In my case it was totally the priest’s idea to do Unity Candle. We were like “yeah sure whatever”, we would have done whatever he said. The only thing I really wanted apart from a Mass was to be able to present a flower to the Blessed Mother after the ceremony and I believe I got to do that.
 
We had a non Mass wedding (in a Baptist church). I had Protestant and Catholic family members do New and Old Testament readings and lead the Psalm. My father walked me down the aisle. Everyone participated in the Our Father and Sign of Peace together. Other than that, most things including family members were at the reception.
 
Was this a Catholic wedding? As you said you had it in a Baptist church, which doesn’t seem like it would be permitted for a Catholic wedding.
 
It was. Our Catholic deacon presided. We got dispensation from the bishop as I was not Catholic at the time.
 
TheLittleLady said:
I am unsure if a non-Catholic can do the readings. I am in the UK though, local rules may vary.
Click to expand...
The readings at my wedding were read by non-Catholics. We got my Anglican vicar to do the homily. The hymns were lead by 2 friends of mine- neither were Catholic. Also my Dad (an Anglican) lead the bidding prayers.
At the reception we got my Anglican vicars wife (who is also an ordained minister in the CofE) to say grace before the meal.
Hope that’s enough options!
 
That sounds nice.

We need to have someone who is trained in the norms/regulations to see if this is permissible in the current Rite.
 
With a non-mass wedding, your parents should be able to be involved as much as (if not more) than the groom’s parents.

Theoretically, since it’s not a mass, you could even have a Protestant member of your family do one of the readings (but you must double check with Father first).

Congrats and God bless
 
Wedding was only 4 years ago, so assume it hasn’t changed much. A bigger question is whether the rules are different in the USA, or our priest was more ‘liberal’ (can’t think of a better term) so allowed things other priests would not.
 
Well, I was trying to think of a nice way to say that sometimes what happens is less than what is allowed 🙂 But, I do not know, thus the reason for the OP to check with the Liturgist at her Diocese.
 
A unity candle is certainly one way of involving your fiancé’s non-Catholic family. As you are not having a nuptial mass, one (or more) of the readings could be done by a non-Catholic. You really need to have this discussion with the priest (or deacon) who is solemnising your marriage since (a) it’s obviously a good idea to keep him in the loop and (b) he may have some suggestions himself.
 
I don’t remember doing anything in our wedding that our parents/my family participated in…

I think the only thing we really did was present roses to our mothers. My wife and I lit the unity candle and my only sibling just had a baby so she wasn’t really going to participate anyway, and we didn’t have a Mass.

I think if my sibling wouldn’t have just had a baby they would have been in the wedding party.
 
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