Protestant friends wedding

[Michael_Howard]

I was asked to play music at a good friends wedding who happens to be Protestant. Playing music is not the issue, he wants me to play during the communion time. I will not take communion in a Protestant church, but I got to thinking, is it sinful for me to even support the communion time knowing it’s a false communion? He happens to be one of my best friends so I’m really afraid of hurting him, but I am more fearful about sinning against Jesus Christ, advice please…

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I was asked to play music at a good friends wedding who happens to be Protestant. Playing music is not the issue, he wants me to play during the communion time. I will not take communion in a Protestant church, but I got to thinking, is it sinful for me to even support the communion time knowing it’s a false communion? He happens to be one of my best friends so I’m really afraid of hurting him, but I am more fearful about sinning against Jesus Christ, advice please…

No, it would not be wrong for you to play.

You understand that their communion is not the real presence of Christ, but it is their remembrance of Christ last supper.

Rejecting him would lack true Christian charity.

Your expression of love and charity for your friend, will go a lot further than coming across as a rigid fanatical Catholic.

Have fun!

Jim

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I was asked to play music at a good friends wedding who happens to be Protestant. Playing music is not the issue, he wants me to play during the communion time. I will not take communion in a Protestant church, but I got to thinking, is it sinful for me to even support the communion time knowing it’s a false communion? He happens to be one of my best friends so I’m really afraid of hurting him, but I am more fearful about sinning against Jesus Christ, advice please…

It’s not sinful to do so but is a bit of a moral quandry. Since you haven’t been “hired” (as in being paid for) the music you are borderline participating in the wedding, more than just attending.

 

[Michael_Howard]

It’s not sinful to do so but is a bit of a moral quandry. Since you haven’t been “hired” (as in being paid for) the music you are borderline participating in the wedding, more than just attending.

Yes, this is what I’m worried about. it’s not so much about being fanatical or ridgidly ‘religious’, I just believe with all my heart that the only valid communion is the Eucharist of the Catholic church and I do not not want anyone to think I support an invalid communion by helping people “musically” enter into that experience. At the same time as the poster above stated, I do not want to hurt my friend who happens to be a very close friend and was a groomsman at my wedding. it seems to me though that I would be in some way participating and I do not want to sin mortally.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Yes, this is what I’m worried about. it’s not so much about being fanatical or ridgidly ‘religious’, I just believe with all my heart that the only valid communion is the Eucharist of the Catholic church and I do not not want anyone to think I support an invalid communion by helping people “musically” enter into that experience. At the same time as the poster above stated, I do not want to hurt my friend who happens to be a very close friend and was a groomsman at my wedding. it seems to me though that I would be in some way participating and I do not want to sin mortally.

Who knows you may have an opportunity to talk about the Catholic Faith while there!

 

[InLight247]

I personally think it is OK to play the music. Serving a role of musician does not mean supporting their belief. It will appear to be unreasonable to turn him down.

If it bothers you, why don’t you bring the question to your priest and hear what he has to say.

 

[bluerose]

I am assuming the friend is not a Catholic marrying in a Protestant church without a dispensation (which in any event would preclude him from receiving their communion.) In that event, I wouldn’t think it sinful (it’s not YOUR fault they’re not Catholic, right?) so long as YOU do not receive (which is bound to raise some questions and open the door to some evangelization, right?)

My husband was asked to be best man at a Protestant friend’s wedding… both bride and groom cradle Protestants (Church of Christ.) Since there were no impediments to a valid marriage, he was permitted to participate (even though it took place on Holy Saturday~very strange to us Catholics!) It was just a wedding ceremony, no communion, but we (husband, son and I) and two other guests were the only Catholics, but I don’t think anyone even realized until we “blew our cover” at the reception by making the sign of the cross before the meal blessing was said! Even so, no one said anything (to us), but the groom got a couple of sideways glances from his pastor, so I’m sure HE had a lot of explaining to do!

Still, if you’re concerned, talk to a priest about it. That’s what my husband did before accepting the role of best man!

 

[Michael_Howard]

I am assuming the friend is not a Catholic marrying in a Protestant church without a dispensation (which in any event would preclude him from receiving their communion.) In that event, I wouldn’t think it sinful (it’s not YOUR fault they’re not Catholic, right?) so long as YOU do not receive (which is bound to raise some questions and open the door to some evangelization, right?)

My husband was asked to be best man at a Protestant friend’s wedding… both bride and groom cradle Protestants (Church of Christ.) Since there were no impediments to a valid marriage, he was permitted to participate (even though it took place on Holy Saturday~very strange to us Catholics!) It was just a wedding ceremony, no communion, but we (husband, son and I) and two other guests were the only Catholics, but I don’t think anyone even realized until we “blew our cover” at the reception by making the sign of the cross before the meal blessing was said! Even so, no one said anything (to us), but the groom got a couple of sideways glances from his pastor, so I’m sure HE had a lot of explaining to do!

Still, if you’re concerned, talk to a priest about it. That’s what my husband did before accepting the role of best man!

It will be a full on Protestant wedding in a Protestant church with a Protestant AG minister. As a convert, many of these folks know I’m Catholic, some of them remain good friends but, they do not really understand the Catholic faith and probably will expect me to partake just like everyone else which I will not.

I am thinking perhaps I should confide in my friend about this before the wedding just so he’s not shocked when he sees the communion plate pass me without recieving.

The thing that’s hard is that at my wedding, this friend was a groomsman and it was a full on Protestant wedding, our pastor let go and preached Christ to everyone that was there and many of my friends were greatly impacted by our wedding and I’m thinking my friend wants something similiar. Either way, I’m a Catholic Christian now so it’s here that the rubber will finally meet the road.

 

[Michael_Howard]

I personally think it is OK to play the music. Serving a role of musician does not mean supporting their belief. It will appear to be unreasonable to turn him down.

If it bothers you, why don’t you bring the question to your priest and hear what he has to say.

I’m not sure about this, the music is an aid to help these folks focus on the “true meaning” of communion and I have a hard time with this, perhaps I’d feel better if I could sing, “I am the Bread of Life” by John Michael Talbot and preach the Real Presence. I just fear that many of these folks who know I’m Catholic will think of me as the wishy-washy type of accepts every denomination and various communions, I’m thinking more and more as I write I should not play the music.

 

[baltobetsy]

If you’re busy playing music, you won’t have time to partake in their communion. It’s a win-win.

Don’t offend your friend over this. Appearing unreasonable will make it more difficult to evangelize when the time comes.

The congregants who participate in the communion, although in error, are doing so in good faith with love in their hearts. I do not think that God is offended by this, nor do I think He would be offended by your playing some music.

Betsy

 

[Michael_Howard]

If you’re busy playing music, you won’t have time to partake in their communion. It’s a win-win.

Don’t offend your friend over this. Appearing unreasonable will make it more difficult to evangelize when the time comes.

The congregants who participate in the communion, although in error, are doing so in good faith with love in their hearts. I do not think that God is offended by this, nor do I think He would be offended by your playing some music.

Betsy

Perhaps you’re right, thanks Betsy

 

[LindaS]

Maybe you can play Catholic Communion hymns during the Communion! Who would know? There are some lovely ones available.

Peace,
Linda

 

[Steve_M]

I was asked to play music at a good friends wedding who happens to be Protestant. Playing music is not the issue, he wants me to play during the communion time. I will not take communion in a Protestant church, but I got to thinking, is it sinful for me to even support the communion time knowing it’s a false communion? He happens to be one of my best friends so I’m really afraid of hurting him, but I am more fearful about sinning against Jesus Christ, advice please…

We actually discussed this issue in my moral theology class a couple of years ago. As long as neither of those getting married are former Catholics, and as long as you’re not ordained as a priest or deacon, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. If it makes you feel more secure with your decision, it’s always a good idea to check with your priest.

 

[bluerose]

I am thinking perhaps I should confide in my friend about this before the wedding just so he’s not shocked when he sees the communion plate pass me without recieving.

.

Good idea. In fact, my husband decided to give his friend “heads up” about a few things, too.

The rehearsal was, of course, the evening before the wedding… which was Good Friday. He explained that he would be late because a) he wouldn’t be getting out of Good Friday services until after 6 p.m. and b) the rehearsal dinner was BBQ and he had to fast AND abstain from meat. His friend was fine about it, but try to explain to 50 Fundamentalist Christians (including the sweet ladies in the serving line–mostly aunts and cousins) who are wondering why all you’re having is a small serving of vegetarian beans and coleslaw when the brisket looks soooo yummy!

Talk about sacrifice!