Protestant Marrying Into Catholic Family

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CatholicSam:
We wrote into Jimmy Akin about this, and he told us that if someone leaves the Catholic Church and renounces his/her Catholicism and marries in a Protestant church, that is not “open fornication.” However, leaving the church is an intrinsically evil act and should be avoided just as much as living in open fornication. Here’s the website: jimmyakin.org/marriage_involvement/

I should say it’s the section on “Son Planning Invalid Marriage”
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Thanks for the link. Very informative for anyone considering an underwater wedding (:confused: ). In this case, I would still consult a Priest who has been around the marriage canons a few hundred times.
 
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mercygate:
Thanks for the link. Very informative. I would still consult a Priest who has been around the marriage canons a few hundred times.
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I think the misunderstanding is that if they stay Protestant, it’s valid, but maybe, as in your case, if they later convert, then it’s not? I would definitely consult a priest on this. Even if he can’t really help, it will be a kind gesture to your future in-laws and show that you are actually trying to get things sorted out and do things the proper way. I wish my brother had done that…
 
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CatholicSam:
I think the misunderstanding is that if they stay Protestant, it’s valid, but maybe, as in your case, if they later convert, then it’s not? I would definitely consult a priest on this. Even if he can’t really help, it will be a kind gesture to your future in-laws and show that you are actually trying to get things sorted out and do things the proper way. I wish my brother had done that…
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Now we’re on the same page. I never found the Akin thing you tried to link to.
 
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mercygate:
Now we’re on the same page. I never found the Akin thing you tried to link to.
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Does the link not work, or can’t you find what I’m referencing? If you can’t find what I’m referencing, it’s in the second section on that main page (scroll down until you get to Aug. 22 Son Planning Invalid Marriage), and in particular it is the “reader’s” question number 5.
 
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CatholicSam:
Does the link not work, or can’t you find what I’m referencing? If you can’t find what I’m referencing, it’s in the second section on that main page (scroll down until you get to Aug. 22 Son Planning Invalid Marriage), and in particular it is the “reader’s” question number 5.
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Found it. Still think its a little off (but who am I compared to Jimmy?)
 
If your fiancee has not gone to Mass in 15 years on a regular basis then de facto she is not very Catholic anymore. De jure she may canonically be Catholic but is there any chance of the kids being raised Catholic if neither parent goes to Mass?

She should probably make the break a lot cleaner and just join your church in name and not just in practice. This will free her from the canons and let her parents come. I think they are embarassed that their daughter leaving the Church reflects poor;y on them but if they did their best what more can they do? Strong arming her into a Catholic wedding won’t really fix things and what do you think will happen when the baby comes?

For yourself make sure you marry her in a Catholic ceremony with a dispensation and make sure the priest is aware of her lack of practice if she does not formally renounce the Catholic Church by joining yours OR have her join your church and marry there with no Catholic aspects whatsoever.

DO NOT MARRY HER IN YOUR CHURCH IF SHE HAS NOT JOINED IT OR IF YOU DON’T GET THE DISPENSATION FROM FORM. THIS WOULD LEAVE HER FREE TO HAVE A CATHOLIC WEDDING FOR HER SECOND MARRIAGE SHOULD YOU DIVORCE. THAT IS TOTALLY UNFAIR TO YOU SO PROTECT YOURSELF!!
 
She needs to officially renounce her catholic faith to no longer be bound by the directives of the Catholic church.

God bless you both!

(Oh- and by the way- we catholics DO have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!!! :D)

I would ask if you would please have her study a bit on what she will be leaving behind by taking that step, especially the Eucharist.
 
  • Oh if you are married in the Cathlic Church, you make a promise to raise your children in the Catholic Faith. That would be a lie, so I would not recommend it.
 
While dispensations can be obtained which would allow a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic and for the ceremony not to occur in a Catholic Church, in this case they may be more difficult to obtain then indicated by other posters.

Commonly, when a Catholic wishes to marry a non-Catholic, they must make two promises (to which their fiancee need not agree, but must be aware of):
  1. That marrying a non-Catholic will not jeapordize their Catholic faith.
  2. That they will make every effort to raise any children in the Catholic faith.
I do not see how your fiancee could in good conscience make these promises when she is not currently practicing her Catholic faith, which could make it difficult to receive the necessary dispensations.

As mentioned, if your fiancee were formally no longer a Catholic, she would no longer be bound by Catholic canon law, and the wedding would be valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church.

Both you and your fiancee owe it to yourself to make sure that your wedding is considered valid by the Catholic Church. It will make it easier for you to deal with your in-laws, who otherwise might not consider you married. If at a later point your wife begins practicing her Catholic faith again or if you become Catholic, you would need to normalize your marriage, and the situation could also result in many guilty feelings. Most importantly, though, is that if you do not do so, you would not actually be married. (If the Catholic Church is correct.)

I would also recommend that you spend some time learning about the Catholic faith yourself before getting married. This is not to say you should convert to the Catholic faith (actually, everybody should, but that isn’t my point in writing this right now, I would equally recommend this if you were going to be marrying a lapsed Buddhist). At a later point, your fiancee may resume her Catholic faith. Any time there is a marriage between individuals of different faiths, religion becomes a possible point of contention between them, and it would be wise for you to be aware of the possible future difficulties before making a permanent commitment.
 
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urbana:
While dispensations can be obtained which would allow a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic and for the ceremony not to occur in a Catholic Church, in this case they may be more difficult to obtain then indicated by other posters.

Commonly, when a Catholic wishes to marry a non-Catholic, they must make two promises (to which their fiancee need not agree, but must be aware of):
  1. That marrying a non-Catholic will not jeapordize their Catholic faith.
  2. That they will make every effort to raise any children in the Catholic faith.
I do not see how your fiancee could in good conscience make these promises when she is not currently practicing her Catholic faith, which could make it difficult to receive the necessary dispensations.

As mentioned, if your fiancee were formally no longer a Catholic, she would no longer be bound by Catholic canon law, and the wedding would be valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church.

Both you and your fiancee owe it to yourself to make sure that your wedding is considered valid by the Catholic Church. It will make it easier for you to deal with your in-laws, who otherwise might not consider you married. If at a later point your wife begins practicing her Catholic faith again or if you become Catholic, you would need to normalize your marriage, and the situation could also result in many guilty feelings. Most importantly, though, is that if you do not do so, you would not actually be married. (If the Catholic Church is correct.)

I would also recommend that you spend some time learning about the Catholic faith yourself before getting married. This is not to say you should convert to the Catholic faith (actually, everybody should, but that isn’t my point in writing this right now, I would equally recommend this if you were going to be marrying a lapsed Buddhist). At a later point, your fiancee may resume her Catholic faith. Any time there is a marriage between individuals of different faiths, religion becomes a possible point of contention between them, and it would be wise for you to be aware of the possible future difficulties before making a permanent commitment.
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Sounds like wisdom to me. We have acually both enrolled in some classes for the the new year that will help us gain a better and deeper understanding of the Catholic Faith.

In simplicity it is Christ who is the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one should follow blindly what the Lord has not personally convicted them of by His Spirit. One cannot deny that there are those who have been reached by both Faiths that otherwise may have been lost for eternity. God has a divine purpose for the Catholic Faith as well as Protestant, to reach those trapped in sin and show them the loving saving grace of our heavenly Father.

Thanks again!
 
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Siena:
She needs to officially renounce her catholic faith to no longer be bound by the directives of the Catholic church.
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Please remember that officially renouncing the Catholic Faith is an intrinsically evil act, not a very good idea 😦 .

Wondering22,

You sound like a wonderful person seeking the Truth (like you said, “The Truth is what will set us Free”).

Have you ever heard of Scott Hahn? He looked into the Church from a Protestant perspective (he was a protestant minister and converted later on, but anyways). He has written a lot of books that can help you understand the Catholic Faith better.

God Bless!
 
(12345678- I did post this as part of my response- I don’t think leaving the church is right - but I am respecting her right to choose her faith, and want to make sure she is not creating a bigger problem by still “officially” being Cathoilc, but currently being “Protestent” at heart.)
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Siena:
I would ask if you would please have her study a bit on what she will be leaving behind by taking that step, especially the Eucharist.
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