It’s not about which church is “most exciting.” This is a rather foolish-sounding description that makes it seem like you see us as immature and ill-formed. Let me remind you that Protestants, on average, attend church at a frequency that’s more than 30% ahead of Catholics, there’s less nominalism per capita, and we do take church quite seriously- much more than Catholics do on average, actually.
There is one thing that tends to be at the forefront of our thought process, though, and it might not be what you’ve heard. You might have heard that we’re bouncing around looking for the fullness of truth, but that’s generally not true- it’s a concept Catholic apologists wish that more Protestants had even heard of. We’re usually not leaving a denomination for reasons of doctrinal difference, either. It’s mostly about the praxis and the people, and when we move (which Americans do a lot of), any given Protestant denomination may not be nearly as accessible in a different part of the country. Then we have to make some choices. There’s also a lot of compromises that we’re perfectly willing to make for marriage, and that often means leaving two denominations behind in favor of a third one.
I got a little sidetracked there- I was about to tell you the overarching theme that tends to guide Protestants when they are searching for a new denomination. Which, well over half the time, is precipitated by either a move or a marriage. Generally, the idea is that we want to be a part of the denomination that will do the best job of helping us become better Christians. We’re usually more willing to give ground on doctrinal quibbles than we are on that one point. If it’s a family with young children, their formation obviously takes precedence. And overall, whoever you are, praxis and people are more involved in affecting this one all-important outcome than a certain doctrine is.
If you want to get a Protestant to stick around in a new church home, it is imperative that you do a very good job of helping that Protestant become a better Christian. Incidentally, fifty percent of Tiber swimmers return to some form of Protestantism within one year of converting to Catholicism. There’s not much of a focus on ensuring that new members of a parish are getting what they need in order to become better Christians. It might sound kind of odd to you in your head or if you ever say it out loud, but the Catholic Church is not particularly good at helping Christians become better Christians. This is the single most important issue that governs the Protestant thought process, and unfortunately, it seems to be a concept that many Catholics don’t really grasp. The solution is better mystagogy, but I guess there’s enough Catholic parishes that don’t see it as a high priority. Protestants do, though. We must be in an environment where we can become better Christians. If it’s not like that, it’s a deal-breaker and we will look elsewhere. When we’re looking around, that’s what we’re looking for- the place that lets us use our gifts and talents to help others become better Christians, while everyone else is just as invested in helping us become better Christians.
It’s a little different from seeking the church that excites you the most. And I know this was somewhere in the back of your mind- a Catholic parish is not going to excite you the most, so come back around when you’re looking for the right things. The issue is this, though- we are looking for the right things, and the average Catholic parish doesn’t do a very good job of providing them. It’s not God-awful, but it’s not a particularly viable competitor either, and that’s why so many Tiber swimmers leave.
I agree with you that in many cases, Protestants switch churches/denominations because of a marriage or a move.
But I disagree with much of the rest of this post.
My husband and I were Evangelical Protestant for the first 47 years of our lives. I’m pretty certain I’ve dropped these names around you before, Sixpence, but JIC, the church I attended growing up was pastored by Evelyn Christenson’s husband. Gary Smalley was our associate pastor. John Ortberg was in my youth group. We frequently had guest speakers like Dr. Bill Bright, Erwin Lutzer, and Leighton Ford.
Like it or not, I think that the main reason why Evangelical Protestants switch churches is because they are “led by the Holy Spirit” often due to a disagreement with their home church. Sometimes this disagreement is over Bible teachings or doctrine. But all too often, it’s over a personality or a practice.
Here’s an example of a “practice.” In the 1980s, when my husband and I were living 1000 miles away from our hometown, my dear mother continued to be part of our Baptist church. During that time, many MANY of the older people left because of the Music Wars. A very famous musician came to the church to be music minister (you would know his name and many Catholics who follow contemporary music would know his name, but I’m not going to drop it because I don’t want his memory tarnished). He did some controversial things with the choirs, musicians, soloists, etc… I’ll admit, I didn’t care for these things because I’m a big believer in allowing all willing musicians to participate and not holding “auditions” for church choirs.
The older people simply felt left out and disenfranchised, so they left. Most of them went downtown to the mainline churches, which was very hard for them, as many of those churches were teaching truly incorrect doctrine (e.g., acceptance of homosexual practices).
But there is another reason why Protestants switch churches, and this is sad. It’s because they are hurt in their church by a person or persons. Sometimes the hurt is actually criminal; e.g., sexual activity. This happened in EVERY Protestant church that I attended in my 47 years as a Protestant, so it’s not “rare.” (It didn’t happen to me personally, but the incidents occured and the church members knew about them, often because we were informed from the pulpit.)
Most of the time, the hurt is not criminal, but it’s still very painful. My husband and I were actually kicked out of our Protestant church, the last Protestant church we attended. I’ve described the incident elsewhere, but suffice it to say that the treatment we received was cruel and capricious, and it is certain that my husband and I will never return to any Protestant church. If for some reason we become disillusioned with Catholicism, we will simply drop out of church totally.
I recommend an excellent book called
Exit Interviews. Sorry, can’t remember the author, and I’ve lent our copy of the book out, so can’t go check. You’ll have to order it online, as it is out-of-print. Look for a book about 18 people who left their churches (all denominations, and also the Catholic Church). It’s a heart-wrenching book, and I wasn’t able to read more than one interview every few days, as it is hard to handle. The premise of the book is that churches need to keep a check on their “back door” and determine why people are leaving their churches. Often, they leave because they are badly hurt by someone in the church–so tragic.
practicing gays, but when it comes to these two items, confession and the Eucharist, both confess what the confessions teach.
(Sanford and Son referance for you guys under 30). Her husband was very quiet (can’t imagine why).