Ok, Spacer, here is the advice. You can take it or leave it.
- Look into a mirror and ask yourself a few questions: “Am I worthy of my attention?”. “Do I care about myself?”. “Is there anything I want to do with my own life?”
- If the answers are “yes”, then you can start to fix your problems. No one else can do it for you, but you do not have to do it alone. (I do not want to tell you what to do if your answers are “no”… I hope it does not happen).
Face it, at 21 you are still a kid. (No offense intended, I am 61 years old.) You do have parents. Trust them. Go to them and ask for help. I would suggest you tell them that you would want to get education, you want to become someone they can be proud of.
Do not ask for handouts. If you have a school you wish to attend, which is a great plan, ask your parents if they are willing to help you with a
loan! I repeat, with a loan! Do not accept just money, even if they would be willing to give you.
If you get a loan from them you can set a goal: to repay it as fast as you can. To get a loan is the sign of maturity, it is a sign that your parents will trust you. It will help to build your self-esteem. Contrary to what many people say: a just pride in your accomplishments is healthy and good for your ego. (If someone tries to tell you that pride is a deadly sin, just walk away from them.)
You can fix your money-spending problem, too. Every time you want to spend money on non-essentials, remember, the money in your hand is not yours. It is your parents’ money, and they trusted you to husband it responsively.
Make a list of your necessary expenditures. Prioritize them and make sure that you have enough money to cover the most important ones. Make sure that repaying the loan is number one on the list. If you have leftover after covering all the essintials, give yourself a
small treat. If you do not have enough money, you will have to forego the items on the bottom of the list.
Forget the “gadgets”, cell phones, stereos, TV’s, MP3 players. No “text messaging”. They are not necessary. Forget about designer clothes. Go and buy decent, clean garments from second-hand stores. There is nothing wrong with them. You will be surprised how little is enough.
Never go out to eat in a restaurant. Never buy a Coke from a vending machine. Make your own sandwiches and bring them to work, or school. If your peers would snicker, tell them that you are on a heath diet. I am not kidding: by following these simple ideas you can easily save 300 dollars a month.
I can assure you that 400 dollars a month will cover all the necessities. Maybe even less. Yes, it will be frugal, it will be tough, but it can be done. Go the library and get a few of Suze Orman’s books on finances.
Not an easy task to do. Look into the mirror and face what you see. Anyhow, this is the advice. You can do with it what you want.
Good luck, buddy!