I hope that I am directing my commentary and questions to the right forum. Here goes. Male members of my family abused me, sexually, physically, and emotionally in my early years. Because of this my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love and self-concept has been severely distorted even though I am a female in her late twenties. I find myself wondering about my sexuality, my intelligence and my purpose in the grant scheme of things. I also wonder why a loving God would want me to go through any of the above. My questions are, first, if I have been hurt by men most of my life, how do I trust Jesus and God in a such an intimate relationship since they are both masculine figures, second, how do I let go of anger before it consumes me, third, how do I let my defenses down in order to have a relationship with God, and fourth, how do I forgive myself and those who have hurt me. I am very confused about a lot of things, but for now these are my primary concerns. I want and need to be able to trust and love fully in God and myself. If I can be pointed in the right direction it would be most appreciated. Thank you in advance for your help/feedback.