Psychologically a wreck

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Meemai

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Hey,

A long topic, please don’t be judgemental but read it all!

So I always lived a simple life, in my province which is a quiet place, I live in a small town. I don’t like new places they confuse me and make me miss things. I am the kind of person that misses a place really fast, or the people around. Anyway I went to Amsterdam with a friend, and yes in my other topic I stated I had a sex with a prostitute. I do still miss her but it’s not my main concern in this topic.

I make this topic out of desperation, I just got out of the monastary as I thought of becomming a monk, but the monastary sucked and I really know now, that it’s not my way of life. What’s more I got to hear I have a personality disorder called schizoid… This was diagnosed in tests, by a psychologist. My problems keep stacking up and I can’t find freedom…

Right now I’m confused I want to find some comfort some love but cannot find it. My parents **** me off cause they talk to me while I’m so confused like I am… I miss Amsterdam I think where I live sucks. I feel depressed and don’t know what to do. My dad keeps talking to me which makes me crazy he askes so much but I just want peace of mind. I feel like I can turn no where.

Some people are born in the wrong body, but my spirit was born wrong. I am really thinking on taking my car and driving off a cliff, I’ve been broken. I just wanted to talk here cause I feel to lost. My life has been a drama, and I can’t put up anymore.
 
Meemai, I only have a few minutes here but I wanted to offer you some hope. I am so sorry for everything you are going through! I hear your feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and I know that in my own life, these feelings were once very deep and very dark indeed, and I once was where you are. Probably more times than I care to remember. I found hope and help. I truly did. I do believe you can too. Sometimes all we can rely on is the knowledge that He is a truly Loving Lord, even when we absolutely can not feel Him, and it seems we have no faith left. This means relying on Him, and not on you and all the feelings swirling within. This means knowing that hope and help is available and that you can seek it. Knowing you are at bottom and that you need to reach out for help can be so very scary; but please do so. You are deeply loved. I feel that love right now, that comes only from Him, for you. That is a fact you can hang onto. Please call a hotline for some trained help, or go to a counseling center today and just walk in, saying you are in crisis. Perhaps you will want to stop at your local Church fist to visit Him in the tabernacle, body, blood, soul and divinity, for strength. 1 800 273-TALK is one you can call. Remember, His love is present even when you can not feel it!!! I offer you my prayers.
 
Mother Mary, St. Joseph, St. Mary Magdalene, Br. Andre, Guardian Angels, I am asking for your intercession now for Meemai. Please comfort him and ask the Lord to ease his suffering so that he can find some peace today. Lord Jesus, please heal these wounds and fill him with your love. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
 
Meemai, I am sorry for what you are going through. Please ask the Mother Mary and our Lord to help you as often as you need. Tell them what is hurting and that you need comfort. You are in a very dark time right now, and are dealing with some very difficult things. Please know that they love you just the way you are. If he wills, the Lord can heal your body, mind, and soul. Please ask him to heal what is hurting inside. Do not hesitate to ask for help from psychologists and other sources such as healingone has mentioned. I will continue to pray for you.
 
Meemai said:
Hey,

A long topic, please don’t be judgemental but read it all!

So I always lived a simple life, in my province which is a quiet place, I live in a small town. I don’t like new places they confuse me and make me miss things. I am the kind of person that misses a place really fast, or the people around. Anyway I went to Amsterdam with a friend, and yes in my other topic I stated I had a sex with a prostitute. I do still miss her but it’s not my main concern in this topic.

I make this topic out of desperation, I just got out of the monastary as I thought of becomming a monk, but the monastary sucked and I really know now, that it’s not my way of life. What’s more I got to hear I have a personality disorder called schizoid… This was diagnosed in tests, by a psychologist. My problems keep stacking up and I can’t find freedom…

Right now I’m confused I want to find some comfort some love but cannot find it. My parents **** me off cause they talk to me while I’m so confused like I am… I miss Amsterdam I think where I live sucks. I feel depressed and don’t know what to do. My dad keeps talking to me which makes me crazy he askes so much but I just want peace of mind. I feel like I can turn no where.

Some people are born in the wrong body, but my spirit was born wrong. I am really thinking on taking my car and driving off a cliff, I’ve been broken. I just wanted to talk here cause I feel to lost. My life has been a drama, and I can’t put up anymore.
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Please don’t harm yourself. A lot of people care about you. Get some counseling. I’ve had some dark times too but life gets better!
 
Thanks all I feel abondoned by God in you all I find strenght. I don’t know what to do but I can only die in self pitty. It just is like that.
 
:hug3: I have often felt like that. Some days I can just barely scratch my way above that feeling. I least often felt it when in doing something for someone else. Even if it isn’t immediately for someone else. Ok, like I like to crochet and knit. Most of what I do ends up being given to someone. It’s a way to keep myself occupied with something other than myself. Althougth I often find it necessary to put myself among other people. Even if just briefly. I currently have a photography “project” going that will take the better part of a year to finish. Some of my thinking is turned over to it. Planning what I want to take pictures of, and knowing when to get these pictures in. It’s based on a garden area here in town and taking pictures of it during each of the four seasons. I actually plan on doing this for an arts contest that’s held every spring. Well, early March anyway. You might look into doing something similar. Something to use up some of your time and thought. Get out of yourself. It helps. I can often “forget” how I really feel at times. It’s something to look forward to.
 
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