Note that nothing I’m saying here is contradicting the Catholic catechism. It’s just a possible explanation for how it all works, rather than the usual cop out answer “it’s a mystery”, that I dislike so much…except for maybe what Jesus experienced…that’s all just a suggestion. There is also some scriptural support for this idea.
When someone who has been offended by another person remembers that he must forgive his brother seventy times seven, he tries to find a justification for the actions of his brother, that is to say, an explanation that would reveal his hidden innocence. Sometimes he “succeeds”, but then, if the explanation were true, it should become clear to him as well that it was him who was the real offender, because he was thinking wrongly of his brother. Then he must find a “justification” for himself too. And the explanation can be that he just missunderstood the situation without further reflection. So, he forgives himself generously.
But then, other day his brother repeats the offense and he is disturbed: it becomes apparent that he had not misunderstood the situation the first time! It was a real offense! And now it becomes very hard for him to “forgive” his brother (and it is just the second time!). He even finds it difficult to forgive himself for being so stupid last time. It is really the moment in which he might forgive, but he can’t: His brother is guilty.
So what is guilt and in what does forgiveness consist?
Let’s suppose both persons meet and the offender recognizes his guilt (even whithout understanding precisely what it is), and asks the other for forgiveness (even whithout understanding precisely what it is). Then, the offended grants him forgiveness. What does it imply (if it is done the right way, whatever it means)? Does it have to do with throwing something into oblivion, or into the unconscious, or somewhere else?
Surely the offender has had to modify his mind in relation to the other; and perhaps he has had to annihilate certain actions that were evolving in his being against the other. As for the offended, when he grants forgiveness he accepts the possibility of continuing with a relation that had been broken due to the offense; and perhaps he also will have to annihilate some revengeful actions that were maturing in his mind. Is this re-structuring of their being what we call “justification” (to become just), and the willingness to restart the relationship what we call “forgiveness”? Is guilt a modification of our being towards another that tends to impair the relationship, and even destroy (at least partially, if it is possible) the being of the other? Or is it really something that can be thrown away?