Psychosis and/or Spiritual Warfare?

  • Thread starter Thread starter elohimrules
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

elohimrules

Guest
I few years ago I had a late life onset (45) episode of psychosis. Dr’s were baffled that this would come on me at this time in my life. And since that episode I had two more where I also needed hospitalization. Now I am on meds, stable, and doing well, back to work, etc. The question is this. Since that time, I have been to many dr’s, therapist, etc. but it seems no one really understands much about psychosis and what it is all about. Ive never had a decent explanation by a dr or therapist, let alone met anyone who seemed to understand what I went through. All they did was discharge me with the DX Psychosis unspecified. Which means they didnt know what caused it and I sure as heck dont know what happened. But I do and always have had a strong faith in God. At the time I was with a very evil man, my ex husband who was abusive. It was after he was out of the picture and i was on meds that all became stable again. But you know I was so severe at one point I was catatonic. The things I saw, only God knows, but they were all about the spiritual realm. A dark voice gave me commands, telling me lies, wanting me to hurt myself. I saw bodies of people who had hung them-self while at the hospital. I saw demons and angels. I even felt God’s love, heard him speak to me intimately, and perform miracles for me to show me he loved me and was near. I got to know God in a way I never have before, realized how great a sense of humor He has, He shared a secret that all love poems and songs ever created were by Him for His Bride. Also, that animals can sometimes be angels and we don’t know it. Anyways, I saw terrible things, only God knows. I sometimes wonder if it was not all in my head, it felt so real and eternal. Time changed during that period, my experience of time was sometimes slow, other times fast. I wonder how much it was the Devil trying to destroy me (have me kill myself) and God trying to rescue me (I didn’t succeed). Just wondering if any or all of this was somehow a large spiritual battle not just in my head.
 
Perhaps some of the experience you mention was your psychosis take the form of some of the conflicts, thoughts, questions etc. that you were dealing with prior to your episode of ill-health. Of course that is only speculation. Regardless, I’ll pray for your continuing good health!
 
I think it would be difficult for any of us to speculate if this was a manifestation of your psychosis or spiritual welfare online.

Might be something to discuss with a priest if you still have concerns about the spiritual warfare.

You have my prayers as well. Praying for good mental health for you.

God Bless.

St Michael the archangel defend us in battle and pray for us.

Mary.
 
Does it really matter if it is a spiritual battle or all in your head?
I’d just suggest thanking God that he pulled you through this
difficult period of time, and ask him to help you minister to others.
 
elohimrules said:
I few years ago I had a late life onset (45) episode of psychosis. Dr’s were baffled that this would come on me at this time in my life. And since that episode I had two more where I also needed hospitalization. Now I am on meds, stable, and doing well, back to work, etc. The question is this. Since that time, I have been to many dr’s, therapist, etc. but it seems no one really understands much about psychosis and what it is all about. Ive never had a decent explanation by a dr or therapist, let alone met anyone who seemed to understand what I went through. All they did was discharge me with the DX Psychosis unspecified. Which means they didnt know what caused it and I sure as heck dont know what happened. But I do and always have had a strong faith in God. At the time I was with a very evil man, my ex husband who was abusive. It was after he was out of the picture and i was on meds that all became stable again. But you know I was so severe at one point I was catatonic. The things I saw, only God knows, but they were all about the spiritual realm. A dark voice gave me commands, telling me lies, wanting me to hurt myself. I saw bodies of people who had hung them-self while at the hospital. I saw demons and angels. I even felt God’s love, heard him speak to me intimately, and perform miracles for me to show me he loved me and was near. I got to know God in a way I never have before, realized how great a sense of humor He has, He shared a secret that all love poems and songs ever created were by Him for His Bride. Also, that animals can sometimes be angels and we don’t know it. Anyways, I saw terrible things, only God knows. I sometimes wonder if it was not all in my head, it felt so real and eternal. Time changed during that period, my experience of time was sometimes slow, other times fast. I wonder how much it was the Devil trying to destroy me (have me kill myself) and God trying to rescue me (I didn’t succeed). Just wondering if any or all of this was somehow a large spiritual battle not just in my head.
Click to expand...
Hi. You obviously experienced God but you might also have some psychosis too. We can’t advise on the forum. Only to say that the Devil does make use of personal trauma and often makes himself known when one is being drawn very close to God. But on here, we cannot give you everything you desire to know, and you would benefit greatly instead from a Spiritual Director. Even the Saints had their experiences tested, by means of discernment, of the spirits. Why not do both - seek a Director and continue seeking practical help. This way you walk towards the light in both a practical and a spiritual way.

I do know one thing: God is especially with the sick and so very close to those who suffer. So God is with you, closer than even spiritual experiences emphasise, as powerful as they may be - God loves you more than you could know. THAT, I can say, with absolute certainty.
 
This is a really interesting question and I’m aware that my answer will be insufficient so I apologise in advance for that.
It’s really intriguing that Psychosis episodes can involve events of a spiritual or religious content and I don’t think anyone would have the complete answer to your question until the time comes that people can be scanned using FMRI (etc) during these events and compare their scans to FMRI (etc) scans of people having religious experiences (nuns for example) without any psychosis.

To me,what would differentiate Psychosis from Spiritual attack would be the ability to “reality test”.
Ie:most individuals who experience a psychosis lose the ability to be able to test their reality and beliefs.
For example,you mentioned that God performed miracles for you to show that He was near and loved you - are you able to test this experience against whether the bible and the Catholic Church says that God does this-ie:is it biblical,is it plausible etc?

Are you able to elaborate more on the miracles and what God said etc?

You mentioned you’ve always had a strong Christian faith so I assume,perhaps,
like someone else mentioned,your prior belief system/being exposed to Christian themes about God and the devil etc might have impacted on the “theme” of the Psychosis.
Like,for example,if someone was raised in a Buddhist home in rural Asia would their Psychosis manifest with different themes perhaps?
I will pray because I think without much prayer it would be hard for anyone to say with difinity whether your experience was purely a Psychosis or whether it was Psychosis mixed with true spiritual experience (feeling Gods love etc).

BTW,have you ever had an EEG during these episodes and an MRI to look for Hippocampal Sclerosis?
I’m certainly not trying to make a diagnosis,but generally speaking,many people with Seizutes (due to Epilepsy or Infection) have had similar experiences featuring hyperreligiousity and the perception of time speeding up or slowing down.
I have linked a couple of relevant article.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2605/
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18171635
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19442490
 
This is a really interesting question and I’m aware that my answer will be insufficient so I apologise in advance for that.
It’s really intriguing that Psychosis episodes can involve events of a spiritual or religious content and I don’t think anyone would have the answer to your question until the time comes that people can be scanned using FMRI (etc) during these events and compare their scans to FMRI (etc) scans of people having religious experiences (nuns for example) without any psychosis.

To me,what would differentiate Psychosis from Spiritual attack would be the ability to “reality test”.
Ie:most individuals who experience a psychosis lose the ability to be able to test their reality and beliefs.
For example,you mentioned that God performed miracles for you to show that He was near and loved you - are you able to test this experience against whether the bible and the Catholic Church says that God does this-ie:is it biblical,is it plausible etc?

Are you able to elaborate more on the miracles and what God said etc?

You mentioned you’ve always had a strong Christian faith so I assume,perhaps,
like someone else mentioned,your prior belief system/being exposed to Christian themes about God and the devil etc might have impacted on the “theme” of the Psychosis.
Like,for example,if someone was raised in a Buddhist home in rural Asia would their Psychosis manifest with different themes perhaps?
I will pray because I think without much prayer it would be hard for anyone to say with difinity whether your experience was purely a Psychosis or whether it was Psychosis mixed with true spiritual experience (feeling Gods love etc).

BTW,have you ever had an EEG during these episodes and an MRI to look for Hippocampal Sclerosis?
I’m certainly not trying to make a diagnosis,but generally speaking,many people with Seizutes (due to Epilepsy or Infection) have had similar experiences featuring hyperreligiousity and the perception of time speeding up or slowing down.
I have linked a couple of relevant article.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2605/
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18171635
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19442490
 
Not to suggest that you are possessed, but that perhaps a specialist might understand the issues better: your diocese should have, or have access to, an excorcist. You could contact the diocese and see if you could meet with him.
 
St_Francis said:
Not to suggest that you are possessed, but that perhaps a specialist might understand the issues better: your diocese should have, or have access to, an excorcist. You could contact the diocese and see if you could meet with him.
Click to expand...
This is a great suggestion. Dear OP, my concern, if it were me, is to get better. If all the docs you say just want to push meds, I would try the diocese and get some spiritual help. Maybe between the two you will find answers and solutions.
 
St_Francis said:
Not to suggest that you are possessed, but that perhaps a specialist might understand the issues better: your diocese should have, or have access to, an excorcist. You could contact the diocese and see if you could meet with him.
Click to expand...
Casilda said:
This is a great suggestion. Dear OP, my concern, if it were me, is to get better. If all the docs you say just want to push meds, I would try the diocese and get some spiritual help. Maybe between the two you will find answers and solutions.
Click to expand...
One more affirmation of this idea.

Thank you for sharing your struggles with us. You have been prayed for today.
 
Thanks everyone for the reply. I think talking to a priest or finding a spiritual director is a good idea. Im not sure how to find a spiritual director but its worth looking into. As far as me being possessed, I really dont think I am. But I do think a great battle was fought and by God’s grace i am still here because He protected me. Thanks again everyone 😉
 
elohimrules said:
Thanks everyone for the reply. I think talking to a priest or finding a spiritual director is a good idea. **Im not sure how to find a spiritual director but its worth looking into. ** As far as me being possessed, I really dont think I am. But I do think a great battle was fought and by God’s grace i am still here because He protected me. Thanks again everyone 😉
Click to expand...
The best way is to pray about finding a Spiritual Director first, and pray for your parish priest too, then go to see him (possibly after ringing to arrange a short visit) and ask him for a Spiritual Director. And wait. If nothing really comes from this after leaving it for a while, after asking, then contact the Diocese and ask them for one, and they would put you in touch with the person who organizes such help.
 
Friar,

I am interested in a Spiritual Director. Who are they and what exactly do they do? Thanks for your words of encouragement, they touched my heart. I know God is with me. I have sensed His presence since I was a little girl. Now He is guiding and growing me. He even told me when I came back to the church that my patron Saint was Catherine of Sienna. I didn’t know who she even was but found out. Now that I know, I am happy with that but I love Him so much I get jealous because she had a spiritual marriage to Christ and he gave her a ring. Would I LOVE that! So in that way I am jealous of her, but perhaps maybe that is why God gave her to intercede for me. Who knows? 😉
 
elohimrules said:
Friar,

I am interested in a Spiritual Director. Who are they and what exactly do they do? Thanks for your words of encouragement, they touched my heart. I know God is with me. I have sensed His presence since I was a little girl. Now He is guiding and growing me. He even told me when I came back to the church that my patron Saint was Catherine of Sienna. I didn’t know who she even was but found out. Now that I know, I am happy with that but I love Him so much I get jealous because she had a spiritual marriage to Christ and he gave her a ring. Would I LOVE that! So in that way I am jealous of her, but perhaps maybe that is why God gave her to intercede for me. Who knows? 😉
Click to expand...
Hi. friard, not friar! 😉 I had better explain myself. I’m presently discerning religious life and have been for about five years, and before that too, had a director, whom my priest put me in touch with, who was a very holy nun - she died a few years ago - and the other was a priest. I’ve also had individual sessions from various priests, religious, and Third Order members. My latest help came from a ‘Spiritual Companion’. Now to answer your questions as best I can:

Spiritual Directors guide you in your spirituality - they can teach you how to pray and meditate; generally, helping you in your journey that you might grow closer to the Lord. They can help you discern the spirits - what might be of God and what not - by helping you to question your motivations and choices. They can point you in the direction of a priest who might help you via blessings, if you need them, and also suggest other routes for help. They base what they know upon your own specific journey - they can help you work through things. St. Faustina emphasized how important spiritual directors are by even saying that those souls growing ever closer to God - in a conscious way - will find it so much easier to progress with one, than without. What Spiritual Directors don’t do, is to tell you what to do - they don’t command you. Though they can, strongly, suggest ideas. Ultimately, they are there to try and understand your soul, and help you to understand what it is God might be calling you to do in your life, whilst helping you to make the steps easier/lighter, in following that path. They might not be able to decode holy dreams and experiences - maybe/maybe not - but they will get a good idea as to what is happening in your faith-life, for good, and the changes needed, regarding any obstructions/distractions to your advancement.

It sounds as if you are very much in love with God and this is not something to bury but to take forward in leaps and bounds.

You speak of being jealous of other people’s relationships with God, and this…is very likely! And a sign that is positive, in actual fact. God is a jealous God, who desires us for Himself, first and foremost, and so your desire is reflecting something of His, for you.

The saints will intercede for you, and it is more than likely that this particular Saint is helping you with her prayers, from Heaven, and likely too, that she always has been.

Thank you for sharing your delightful response to my post. All in God’s hands!

I will include you in my Rosary prayers.
🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top