Public restrooms

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At what age do you let your child go into the public restroom alone?

My oldest son was 11 when he was accosted by a man in the restroom. He didn’t tell me until later, but he was traumatized by it, which I realized a week later when a garage mechanic opened the car door with my son inside, and he panicked, screaming and crying.
I take my 6-year old into the ladies’ with me now. With an older child, maybe eight and up, I think I would stay within earshot. Of course it would depend on where you were.
 
I stopped taking my sons into the ladies’ room with me when they were about five or six. After that, I would either send them in buddy system and/or stand right outside the door with a “you have about one minute to go before I come charging in there and don’t forget to wash your hands”. They’re all in there twenties now so note that suspicions about weirdos in bathrooms are not a recent worry.
 
Off-topic but related: you’re correct that in many other areas and languages, they’re a lot more direct in terms of their descriptions. The first time we visited the UK (Hubby is a British ex-pat and we have been back twice to see his family), we were in Heathrow airport and there were these great big signs that said “Toilets” overhead. I was slightly mortified.
 
He was probably about 6 or 7 when I started to let him go in alone, but I was literally RIGHT outside the door. And could hear everything going on in that restroom. Plus, with me standing right there I could glance in every time the door opened. I made sure to make eye contact with every man entering as well - they were well aware there was a Mama Lion right outside that door watching over her cub. LOL. Once in a great while, if it was taking even a little longer than I thought it should, I would call through the door “everything ok in there?” but I rarely had to do that. I think I stood right outside the door until he was about 12 or 13 - depending on where we were. After that he often was heading to the mall, movies, etc. without me anyway. 🙂
 
Not on topic, but I’ve actually been to a few places that still have the older style (for my area) restrooms. Front room has couches, a small table to put your purse/drink, coat racks, and places to tidy up. Middle area for fixing up make up that then leads to the toilet area. Men’s side apparently had a shaving area, shoe shine station, seating, and coat rack. The men and women used those rooms to take a break from all the activity out in the main ballroom.

They’re usually really old houses that people rent out for weddings and such now.
 
His_helpmeet said:
Off-topic but related: you’re correct that in many other areas and languages, they’re a lot more direct in terms of their descriptions. The first time we visited the UK (Hubby is a British ex-pat and we have been back twice to see his family), we were in Heathrow airport and there were these great big signs that said “Toilets” overhead. I was slightly mortified.
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We’ve traveled extensively around the world. “Toilet” seems to be the most common sign (sometimes it’s “WC”), except in euphemism-obsessed US. I can’t understand why such a word is offensive or mortifying. Is the word “toilet” considered rude or impure?
 
Nordstrom still has bathrooms like that. At least the one in my area.
 
Pitcairn17 said:
Is the word “toilet” considered rude or impure?
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It’s just kind of “direct”. Americans are funny about things like that.

I know a lot of people who say, “I’m going to use the restroom” rather than, “I’m going to the bathroom.” Even the word “bathroom” is too “specific” for many of us.

I almost alway say, “I’m going potty.” 😁

But I work in a microbiology lab, so I’m used to bathroom stuff.
 
Peeps said:
But I work in a microbiology lab, so I’m used to bathroom stuff.
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I worked in the main lab and a male co worker would tell us he was going to move his bowels! Of course, he was doing it explicitly to get a reaction from us girls. Funny too, we often said we were going to the loo…not something you hear in the US and no one remembers who started it! 😂
 
RoseScented said:
Not on topic, but I’ve actually been to a few places that still have the older style (for my area) restrooms. Front room has couches, a small table to put your purse/drink, coat racks, and places to tidy up. Middle area for fixing up make up that then leads to the toilet area. Men’s side apparently had a shaving area, shoe shine station, seating, and coat rack. The men and women used those rooms to take a break from all the activity out in the main ballroom.

They’re usually really old houses that people rent out for weddings and such now.
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I didn’t know that was the origin of “restroom”. Very interesting. When we were visiting New York (from Australia) we were heading to Sunday Mass at St Patricks Cathedral but needed to go to the loo first. The custodian in the Church pointed us across the road and we ended up in the toilets of Sacs 5th Avenue. They were so posh and would definitely qualify as a “rest” room.
 
I’ve taken my boys into the ladies room until they start strenuously objecting…maybe age 8.5-9? Probably 3rd grade. Thereafter I would do as a prior poster said and stand right outside the door within earshot.
And I still do that with my 11 year old, who is my youngest boy… Today while we were at Home Depot my 13 year old girl had to use the restroom and I went with her…I don’t want my kids going into a secluded area of a public place, alone. I’ve heard of too many terrible things happening.

And yes, as an American I need to use or go to the “restroom”. I can only imagine the shocked faces I’d see if I were to say that I needed to use a toilet or go to the toilet 😅.
 
Peeps said:
It’s just kind of “direct”. Americans are funny about things like that.
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What. Is. Up. With. That?? We’re a nation built by cowboys, miners, farmers, soldiers, and lumberjacks but choke up when it’s time to name the sanitation device for our waste. 🤔
Viki63 said:
With an older child, maybe eight and up, I think I would stay within earshot. Of course it would depend on where you were.
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Yes, family or single-use bathrooms are a godsend for this reason. I usually steer us to one if a kid needs the restroom: “Starbucks is right next door. How about we go there?” (This is magnanimous of me, given the expectation to buy something and how much I hate Starbucks coffee!) In a pinch, however, I’ll stand outside a public restroom and even call occasionally, if nothing else just let any would-be perps know that there’s a caring adult nearby.

My son once witnessed [something I can’t say on CAF] in a public bathroom. He didn’t fully understand what was going on, but at least he felt safe confiding in me about it. I sicked store management and the police on the problem. So yea, one-person restrooms are the best.
 
Cruciferi said:
HGTV: Property Brothers refers to it as the Powder Room
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Powder Room specifically refers to a fairly small toilet/sink room with no bathtub or shower. Just a place to do your business, wash your hands, re-touch your makeup, maybe do some gargling if you’ve just eaten garlic, maybe take your scheduled meds, and then get back to whatever is happening in the home!

But no shower or bath.
 
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Why is it that strange men are waiting to accost little boys in a public restroom? Why do dads not have to worry about strange women abusing their daughters the same way?
Why do the transgender rights people not see why women fear random men being in the ladies’ room?
 
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I always find rest room or bathroom so weird though. You’re not going for a rest. Or a bath. My mum always says she’s going to spend a penny. That’s old English for going to the loo 😁
 
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