Thank you for the helpful responses.
Re: homilies - I don’t think that priests should be very graphic here, but even just a homily about the blessings of a large family, and mentioning that some actions that prevent the creation of new life are mortal sins, while using discrete language, could help here. I know people who consider themselves to be faithful Catholics, attend Mass and are active in parishes, but use birth control and seem genuinely unaware of the fact that it is a mortal sin. In the past, the majority of Catholics knew and obeyed Church teaching on this matter - somehow, at some point, someone stopped talking about it…Priests still know that this is a mortal sin, but it seems like the matter is only discussed with laymen (and women) who already know, such as myself. I think that something along the lines of what the cardinal said could be appropriate - it is clear and direct, but the language is very discrete. Adults will understand, but small children will get the idea but no direct language. It could be discussed in more detail, when/if appropriate, in marriage classes, individual marriage preparation with the priest and/or NFP classes. This is information that should be discussed within the family, ideally, but when parents don’t know Church teaching, they can’t pass it on to their children.
I may have made my husband out to be more unreasonable than he is. He is stubborn, but to tell the truth, so am I. (In fact, I am worse.) This might sound naive on my part, but I know him well enough to know that he will in fact accept any additional children, even if they are unplanned. He was nervous about having even one child, but he absolutely loves our daughter, and despite the defects we have in our marriage, he really is a wonderful father. He comes from a family of four children, which is considered large by today’s standards.
I might look into NFP - I have read a little bit about it, but I have never seriously thought about it since I’m not worried about how many children we have, and my husband is a bit skeptical about it. However, it could be useful in terms of understanding my body and eventually getting pregnant again. We don’t have any real reason to postpone another child - my husband just thinks that it would be easier and more comfortable to wait awhile. I’ve discovered that following God’s will is rarely easy and comfortable.
My husband won’t pressure me into taking the pill - he thinks that it is harmful because of the hormones, and he is right. I should be honest here and say that previously, I took it off and on for a few years. I was taking it at some points because it was recommended by my doctor to treat a health problem, but I was also taking it to prevent pregnancy.
I am praying as usual for my husband’s conversion and for the blessing of another child and a large family if that is God’s will for us.
